I decided to open my IG account since I am bored. Nasa sala lamang ako at nanonood sa Netflix while eating some cookies and milk.
tan_tans: Babe, foam party daw mamaya kila Malantod.
aesthersett: Malantod? Amber?
tan_tans: tumpak, babe! See you.
aesthersett: okaaaay.
I went to the studio for dance class. Duon ko ibinuhos lahat ng galit at sakit na nararamdaman ko.
"Aesther, seryosong seryoso ah? Problem?" umiling na lang ako kay coach at uminom na ng tubig.
"Sibat na ko coach!" I turned my back on them and waved my hand in the air.
"Wag 'kang pumunta dito pag badtrip ka ha! Di ka namin ma-biro e!" natawa ako ng palihim sa isinigaw ni coach.
Pagsapit ng 6:30 pm ay saka lamang ako naligo at nagayos para sa farewell party ni Ams. Ayoko sanang pumunta kaso this is the last time na makikita ko sila ni Kyo.
After having a dilemma, looking for my outfit, I ended up choosing my Black backless bikini top and a white high waist short. I covered my backless bikini top with a pastel blue off-shouldered long sleeves.
I tied my hair in a bun and wear a light make up since mawawala din lamang ito mamaya dahil foam party ang aking pupuntahan. I sprayed some perfume and took my tote bag.
I was kinda late when I arrived at Amber's house. Everyone was already wild.
"Aesther! Why are you late? Ang daming gwapo sa dancefloor!" bati ni El while holding two glasses of cocktails. Everyone in the dancefloor are wet because of the bubbles.
"Traffic," I lied.
I went outside their house to look for Tans. But, I saw Ams.
"Hi!" she greeted. I gave her a fake smile.
Well, she deserves it since she's a fake either.
"Thank you for bringing Kyo back! I am sure you are happy right now 'coz I am leaving!" she stopped infront of me and made a bitchy face.
"Whatever, Ams. Sayong-sayo na si Kyo. Isaksak mo sa baga mo," I ignored her and went near the swimming pool.
"Babe!" Tans went near me habang inaayos ang tube niya. Her hair is a mess. Her skirt is almost ruined!
"Sino na naman ba nabingwit mo?" I asked and drink whiskey.
"Ayun, oh!" nginuso niya ang isang lalaking nakatingin kay Tans. He bit his lower lip while buttoning his button down polo. His hair was also a mess at kitang-kita ang mga pulang marka sa kaniyang leeg. Even, Tans!
"Gusto mo ipakilala kita sa friends niya? Magaling ang performance nila!" nasapo ko ang noo ko at mahinang kinurot ang singit niya.
"Ang landi mo talaga, Tans!" pasigaw na bulong ko.
"Eto naman! Lumandi ka na kesa sa magmukmok, girl!" pabiro niya akong sinabunutan.
"Hi, girls!" lumapit sa amin sina Sefa at El. They both look like a shit. Inalis ko na ang off-shoulder ko ng mabasa ako ng mga bubbles. We took a lot of pictures and posted on IG.
"Aesther!" napatingin kaming apat sa isang lalaking galit na galit.
It was Kyo. What did I do?
"Anong sinabi mo kay Amber?!" hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa aking wrist dahilan para mapasigaw ako sa sakit.
"I didn't say anything!" I told him. Pinipigilan naman siya nila Sefa ngunit ayaw nitong makinig. Sa halip ay lalo niyang hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa akin.
"She told me that we have a plan! What the hell is that?! Galit na galit ang pamilya ko dahil sa mga sinasabi mo! Napaka sinungaling mo!" I slapped him using the other hand.
"God knows I didn't say anything like that! Tangina, kasama ko sina Tans!" sigaw ko.
"Do you think maniniwala ako? Sa isang playgirl na tulad mo?" I slapped him again.
"If you don't want to, then don't! Pagod na akong magexplain ng side ko sa isang taong makitid ang utak gaya mo!"
He smirked, "Mabuti na lamang at hindi ikaw ang pinili ko. I must be a fucking disaster right now." malakas niya akong itinulak kaya lumanding ako sa swimming pool.
The girls saved me and brought me inside my car. Mabuti na lamang at walang nakakita sa nangyari kanina dahil malakas masyado ang sound system and everybody is going wild in the dancefloor.
"Fuck that bitch!" galit na galit si Sefa at muling pumasok para sugurin si Ams. I can't stop her, walang lumalabas sa bibig ko at wala akong maramdaman na kahit ano.
Tanya drove to Starbucks. Tulala lamang ako but I suddenly felt something pain from my chest. Unti-unti nagsilabasan ang mga luha ko so I hugged my thighs and cried heavily.
"Oh, God!" hinampas ni Tans ang manibela. El hugged me from the back and keep on asking if I am okay. But, I didn't replied.
Nang makarating kami sa Starbucks ay agad nag-order si Tans. El called Jerv to come with us together with some clothes. Basang-basa kami dahil na rin sa party kanina.
"Anong nangyari? Bigla kayong nawala sa party ni Ams?" tanong ni Jerv at binigyan kami ng tig-iisang paper bag.
Pagbukas ko ay isang puting tshirt at isang maong shorts. Sabay-sabay kaming nagtungo sa restroom at nagpalit. Tulala akong bumalik sa upuan at naiwan sina Tans at El sa restroom.
"Here, alam 'kong kailangan mo ito." napatingin ako sa inabot ni Jerv. Isang malaking cup na naglalaman ng lomi, isang box na naglalaman ng cupcakes at isang milktea.
Napangiti naman ako sa simpleng effort na ibinigay ni Jerv. Habang kumakain ako ng lomi ay hindi ko napigilang lumuha.
"Ayan, jowa pa ha? May pa-hindi priority ang lovelife, kita mo ngayon iiyak-iyak, tch!" sinipa ko si Jerv at inubos ang mga dala niya.
"Di mo ko ginagaya, walang jowa! Edi, walang problema!" pagmamalaki ni Jerv.
"Ulul! Nakita lang kita kahapon, kasama mo 'yung cheerdancer! May pa-akbay pa! Ew!" sigaw ni El at pabirong binato siya ng lagayan ng cupcakes.
"Crush ko 'yun, ganda 'no?"
"Sana all, relationship goals! UAAP pa more! Naol!" sigaw ni Tans.
"Nakita 'nga kita nung thursday sa QC, e! Nanood ako ng banda, 'kala mo ha!" paninisi ni Jerv.
Tumaas ang kilay ko sa pinagsasabi nila, "Hoy! Nagaaral pa ba kayo ha?" tanong ko.
"Opkors! Hindi lang kase kami masyadong seryoso like you, babe!" saad ni Tans.
"Sinong pinuntahan mo sa QC ha? Anong banda? Puta, anong UAAP? Mga hatdog kayo!" pagrereact ko. Natawa naman sila sa sinabi ko.
"Easy! Sinundan ko kase si Jake, 'yung lead vocalist ng Kavam Band. Crush ko kase 'yun e, blockmate ko girl!"
"E, 'yung UAAP ha?"
"May laban kase nung Wednesday. E, nilibre niya ko kahapon pero ako na 'yung nanlibre. Ayokong babae ang gumagastos! Nakakababa ng ego, pre!"
Nagpatuloy kami sa chismisan hanggang sa umuwi na kami. Nakita ko uli si Kyo na nakasandal sa pintuan ng unit ko.
"Diba sabi ko wag ka ng bumalik?" I said.
"Andito ako para magpaalam." I looked away and tried to hide the tears.
We both entered my unit and he cooked some foods for us.
"This will be the last time I am making your meal." May kung anong kumirot sa puso ko sa sinabi niya.
"Take care of yourself while I am away." I did not eat. Instead, I cried. Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap niya sa akin.
"Stop crying, Aesther. Masakit para sa akin ang nakikitang nagkakaganyan ka." he whispered.
"Please, choose me." halos magmakaawa na ako.
"God knows how much I want to choose you. I want to spend my life with you. I love you, but I also love Ams. She's the woman I wished to be with."
Paulit-ulit akong nasasaktan sa mga sinasabi niya sa akin.
"I didn't say anything to Ams, maniwala ka naman oh!" nagkanda-piyok piyok na ang aking boses.
"Nevermind that, Ayii. I am still choosing Ams."
Napapikit ako ng mariin at pinagsusuntok siya sa dibdib.
"You really are a demon!" sigaw ko at sinuntok siya sa mukha.
Pinahiran niya ang dugo sa labi niya at tiningnan ako gamit ang mga malulungkot niyang mga mata.
"I am a demon in Archery. And, I am also a demon in love. I am not Cupid, I am not a matchmaker. Because I am not an angel, I am a demon."
*****
It's been 2 weeks since Kyo and Ams left. Palagi akong nag-iistalk sa IG ni Kyo. But, there were no latest post about him.
Wala na rin akong update sa kanila.
Palagi na lang akong tulala at hindi na nakakasama sa mga inuman. Mas itinutok ko ang sarili ko sa pag-aaral lalo na't marami na ang ginagawa 'kong plates.
Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve came, it was really unexpected. May ibang pinupusuan na agad si daddy e wala 'pang isang taong patay si mommy. He even slapped me and threatened us that if we don't accept his girl and call her mommy, he will abandon us.
But, he gave us a little more time to accept that. Medyo sumasama na sa amin si Maple ngunit hindi pa rin namin siya gaanong nakakausap.
Ewan ko ba kung kelan kami magkakabati-bati. If, mangyayari pa 'yun.
"Settang! Attend ka sa Thursday, semi-finals na!" Jerv said. Sumang-ayon na rin ako since wala naman akong magawa. Isasama ko na lang si Chan.
Thursday came, it was epic! Andre was there near Jerv but he didn't noticed her. Jerv noticed me. Ayun tuloy, umalis si Andre kasama ang kaibigan niya at huli na ng malaman ni Jerv na nanood si Andre ng game niya.
March came, Kuya, Maple and I visited mom's grave. Naging mas close kaming tatlo ngunit hindi pa rin mawawala ang tensyon since iba ang mother ni Maple.
It was May when the mother of Maple came and we were shocked because she is now the girlfriend of daddy.
*****
"Welcome, 3rd year!" we all cheered in the air.
"Road to 4th year!" we also cheered for Sefa, Tans and Kuya.
Nasa Dapitan kami nagiinuman sa isang rooftop bar.
"Aesther?" Lumingon ako sa likuran and I saw Aki.
"Hey!" bati ko at bumeso sa kaniya.
"Long time no see, huh?" tanong niya. Natawa naman ako at sabay kaming uminom ng vodka.
"My family owns this. And I am the DJ," he answered when I looked at him, confused. He's wearing a headphones kase.
My mouth formed an 'o' and danced in the air. Pinaghalong whiskey and vodka ang ininom namin ngayong gabi. Too much photos and videos were posted online.
I took my phone and take a picture of myself while holding a glass of alcohol and the background is the bright moon and the stars.
I also took a video when Aki mixed the tunes. 'Yung pinamusic niya nuon.
Now Playing: Will you still love me tomorrow?
I took a video of all the people in the dancefloor, including me. And of course, the DJ.
aesthersett: This is Lit!🤘🏻What is up party peopleeee!🤟🏻
eldaphche: We lit, babe!🤘🏻
unraezche: May nakita akong gwapo. Unra ata ang name. Woooooh!
sefanniahayii: #WeLit #RanzandNiana, lol! Another one! Another one! DJ Khalidddd!🤟🏻
jervinnel: Mi spacecraft! The beat is so litttt! 🤞🏻 Another one! Another one! DJJJJ Akiiiiiii! 'Lol, Imma' callin' DJ Khalidddddd!🤙🏻
sherwinaur: DJ Aki, in the hauzzzz! His mixing is lit!
Napailing ako sa mga comments nila. This is really so lit! Nagenjoy ako sa mga tugtog ni Aki at nalasing ng grabe. Si Unra na 'nga ang naghatid sa amin dahil hindi na namin kaya at inuwi ang aking mustang sa parking lot dito sa condominium.
Wala na si Kyo. Matagal ng umalis, pero 'yung sakit hindi pa rin umaalis. Inaamin 'kong gabi-gabi akong umiiyak. Kahit na palagi akong nakangiti at naka-tawa, ang ending ay umiiyak pa rin ako.
I made a quick shower and lay on my bed. As I hugged my bean bag, sandamakmak na luha ang lumabas sa aking mga mata.
I'll be here always, Kyo. I'll be waiting for you.
*****
3rd Year college isn't that easy. Onti na lang ang subjects ko but it was indeed hell!
"Aesther, kalimutan mo na ang tungkol sa kasal ninyo ni Kyo." dad told me. Binisita ko siya ngayon sa kaniyang office dito sa company namin since dito ako mag-oojt.
"Why, dad?"
"He is engaged with Amber Wanse Gue."
And that made me think about killing myself.