"Engineer!" sigaw ni El ng buksan niya ang pintuan. Nagoorder kasi ako sa Food Panda ng pizza, burgers, fries at milkteas.
Pagkapasok ni Kyo ay bahagya akong natulala sa kaniya. Simpleng itim na tshirt at puting pajama ang kaniyang suot pero tangina ang lakas ng appeal ng ex ko. Jusme! Basa pa ang buhok niya dahil halos kakaligo lang niya. Even me, tho. May bitbit siyang bean bag at dalawang supot.
Comeback na, pls. Lol! Ikaw pa rin ang bb qoh, tangina mo! Hahahaha! Zebbiana be like.
When he looked at me, I gave him a small smile and placed my order. Halos kakatapos ko lang din maligo. Wearing a watermelon red pullover sweatshirt and white pajama. Nakalugay ang aking buhok at nagsuot ng pink na turban with a big bow.
"Ehem! Matutunaw ata ang kaibigan ko n'yan," rinig 'kong sinabi ni El. I glanced at them and I was shocked when I saw Kyo's staring at me.
Inayos namin ni Kyo ang mga dala niyang pagkain. Korean foods. Inilagay namin ito sa lamesa at kumuha ng electric griller at inilagay sa gitna ng lamesa. Si El naman ang nagayos ng mga kubyertos.
Nang dumating ang inorder ko ay nagsimula na kaming kumain.
"Saan niyo balak magtrabaho after niyo grumaduate?" tanong ko habang kumakain ng pizza.
"Grospe Group. Malaki ang benepisyo sa inyo 'no!" pagmamalaki ni El.
"Sa Dashima naman ako. Well, my fam owns it." saad ni Kyo. Nagbalik sa katahimikan ang tensyon. Parehas kami ni El na nakasuot ng pink na medyas. It was her idea and I don't know why. All pink kase siya e, tch. Gaya ko, she's also wearing a pink turban. Well, that's her fav color.
"Ba't kayo nag-break?" Kyo and I choked dahil sa tanong ni El. I glared at her.
Tumawa naman siya sa naging reaksyon namin, "What? I am just asking! I mean, naging kayo 'nga ba?"
Para sakin, naging kami! Hahahaha! Tangina minahal ko 'to ng sobra, e. Pero iniwan ako. aRaY kO b3H!
"Not officially but we loved each other," I felt mild pain in my chest so I looked away.
We 'Loved', yea right. Loved.
"Loved? Aguuuy! Saket 'non, par! Pero bakit 'nga ba kayo naghiwalay?" mahina ko siyang sinipa sa baba ng lamesa para tumigil. She just winked at me.
"Ams needed me that time and Amber was my girlfriend that time," Kyo explained.
"E? Pero 'yung mga posts mo sa IG halos tungkol kay Ayii." napakunot ang noo ko. Kyo looked away.
"Hindi naman kasi talaga si Amber ang mahal ko. Kundi, si Aesther." Kyo looked at me so I looked away.
Ini-istalk ko siya nuon pero tumigil na din ako. Tungkol sakin? Na-curious ako bigla!
"So, may cb?"
"Anong cb?" sabay naming tinanong.
"Comeback!" sigaw niya.
"No!" sabay naman naming isinigaw.
"Puta, parang ayaw na magsama uli ha?"
Muli 'kong sinipa si El sa paa at inirapan naman ako ng bruha. Itinuloy namin ang pagkain at bumili pa si Kyo ng vodka habang nanonood kami.
Insidious Chapter 1,2&3
'Yan ang pinanood namin hanggang sa mag alas tres na ng umaga. Knock out na agad si El sa kabilang foam. Halatang sinadyang magtatabi kami ni Kyo dahil nakabukaka ito at sandamakmak na unan ko ang inilagay niya sa foam. Napa-iling na lamang ako at kinumutan siya gamit ang comforter.
Kahit nahihilo na ako ay nagawa ko 'pang linisin ang mga kalat namin. Muntik na 'nga akong lumanding sa semento pero nasalo ako ni Kyo.
"Matulog ka na," he whispered. I stared at his lips. Ano kayang lasa 'nun?
"Stop being so clingy. Iiwan mo na naman ako." my voice was so low just enough for him to hear it.
"I won't ever do that again, Ayii."
"How can I be so sure? Everybody keeps on leaving me," itinago ko ang aking mukha gamit ang mga palad ko dahil ayokong makita niya akong umiiyak.
I am so fucking emotional.
Pilit niyang inalis ang kamay na nakatakip sa mukha ko at pinunasan ang mga luhang dumaloy sa pisngi ko. I saw him stared at my lips.
I stepped backward and he keep on stepping forward until I leaned on the walls.
"I'll be with you wherever you go," he whispered.
"That's not enough for me to believe you," I said.
I want a kiss! I want a commitment with you, fucking bastard!
He held my chin and kissed me passionately. It was soft and sweet kiss but then he became aggressively. My eyes automatically closed when he started kissing me.
I held on his shoulders for a support and he circled his arm on my waist to deepen the kiss. When we stopped kissing, we are both breathing heavily. He leaned his forehead on my forehead.
"I waited years just to taste your lips. I waited years, Aesther. I fucking waited years because of your father, the epitome of fake news. I sealed my promise with a kiss, I hope that's enough."
He held my neck and started to kiss me, again. This time, it was passionately which made my knees tremble. Napamura ako sa isipan ko.
"Tangina, ang rupok ko." but I still kissed him back.
****
Nagising ako ng may naaamoy akong mabango. Nagtungo muna ako sa banyo para magsipilyo at maghilamos. Habang naglalakad ako patungo sa kusina ay sinusuklay ko ang magulong buhok ko at inayos ang turban.
"Goodmorning," I greeted Kyo. He's cooking breakfast. El is still asleep.
"Goodmorning, baby." He went closer and gave me a kiss on my cheeks.
Naalala ko tuloy 'yung nangyari kagabi! Shocks, nakakahiya!
"Drink this." iniabot niya sakin ang kape at may isang gamot.
"Thanks," I gave him a smile and drink the med. Nang maubos ko ang kape ay nagsimula akong maglinis ng unit. I cleaned my entire unit and planned to wash my clothes later.
"Hoy," El called me. I looked at her while tying my hair in a bun. Nasa kwarto kami dahil naglalagay ako ng mga lalabhan ko sa laundry basket.
"Why?" tanong ko.
"Nag-kiss kayo kagabi, 'no?" my cheeks heated.
"Yea, kiss lang!" I whispered.
"Ay, bakit? Ang hina mo, girl! Kung nandito lang si Tans, tinuruan ka na 'nun!" she playfully pushed me.
"Andito ka kasi, girl! Istorbo ka, e." I joked and rolled my eyes on her.
"Ay, bebe 'to! Kingina, aalis na ko mamaya!" nagpamewang siya sa aking harapan.
"Hey, what's up with the Ongsee?" I changed the topic when I suddenly remembered what she asked me last night.
"I am dating with a Chinese guy." agad nanlaki ang mga mata ko.
A chinese guy? They have traditions! Lalo na kapag eldest son! They must marry a Chinese to Chinese. Not a Filipino, Korean, Canadian, and others. Again, they are strict with their traditions. Pero sa panahon ngayon, do they still follow it?
"Eldest?" tanong ko at mahina siyang tumango.
Oh, shoot.
"What about the traditions?" tanong ko muli at ibinaba ang hawak 'kong laundry basket.
"Ayun 'nga girl, e. Tanggap ng parents and siblings niya ang relationship namin. Pero, sa kaniyang grandparents ay hindi. They still follow their traditions lalo na't Eldest siya."
"Hey, kahit anong desisyon mo ay susuportahan kita. Ano na ba ang desisyon mo?"
"Pupunta kami sa Nueva Vizcaya this coming month. Taga duon ang lola't lolo niya."
I've never been there.
"I got your back, girl." I hugged her and she hugged me even tight.
"I am glad you open your heart for someone else." I whispered.
"I am glad, I am back." she whispered back.
Pagkatapos naming kumain ng umagahan ay nakiligo si El dito sa unit ko at umalis na.
"Aesther, magbabakasyon ka?" tanong ni Kyo habang nanonood kami sa Netflix.
"Yes. Balak ko isang linggo sa Bataan. Bakit?"
"Sama ako," napatingin ako sa kaniya.
"Bakit?"
"Gusto ko mag-out of town kasama ka," he smiled at me.
Tangina self, ang rupok mo!
****
I am wearing a black polo long sleeves and tucked it in my white pants. I put some light make-up and sprayed perfume. Isinuot ko na ang black pumps and took my black gucci sliding bag and hang it in my shoulders before getting out of my unit.
I wear my sunglass and tied my hair in a pony. As I entered our office, galit na galit ang aming team leader.
"Architect Grospe!" mariin niya akong tinawag.
"Yes, Ma'am?"
"Did you ruined this?!" she gave me a design of the house that were covered with coffee.
"No, Ma'am."
"Architect Foy, told us that she saw you holding a coffee---"
"I was, Ma'am. But that was for me. Please po, makinig naman kayo sa akin." But they didn't. I think. Because of the looks on their faces.
"Okay. Ipapatawag na lang kita, Architect Grospe. Go to work!" tipid akong ngumiti sa team leader namin at umupo na sa pwesto.
Rinig ko ang mga bulungan nila rito ngunit mas pinili ko na lang na tumahimik. Nang mag 5 pm na ay dumiretso na ako sa parking lot. I saw Chan near my car.
"Hey," she greeted me.
"Hey." I greeted back and gave her a small smile. Hindi ko inaasahang yayakapin niya ako at umiyak sa aking balikat. I hugged her back and caressed her hair.
"I am sorry for being a bad bestfriend. I miss hanging with you, girl!"
"You're forgiven." I whispered.
Hinayaan ko siyang umiyak ng umiyak sa balikat ko. Napagtanto 'kong siniraan ako ng isa naming kasamahan dahil daw naiinggit ito sa akin. Nakita ako ni Chan na nakahawak ng kape na binili ko sa Starbucks at ipinagkalat ito ng isa naming kasamahan na may nagtapon ng kape so she thought I was the one who made that mess. But actually, when they looked at the CCTV, it was the architect who is insecured about me.
Actually, hindi naman ako nag-expect na magugustuhan ng mga kliyente ang mga designs ko. Pagsapit ng gabi ay nagluto na ako ng buttered shrimp at nagtimpla na lamang ng juice.
Balak ko sanang sumama sa barkada ngayon dahil magiinuman kami sa isang bar sa QC ngunit may kailangan pa akong gawin. Again, plates.
Bukas naman ay ibibigay ko na ang resignation letter at hihintayin na lamang ang feedback nila. I was eating alone in the dinning room when I suddenly felt, alone. I used to live by myself but now, everything seems to be dull.
Pagkatapos 'kong kumain ay nagderetso ako sa banyo upang maligo at magsipilyo. Before doing my plates, I decided to go in a convenience store to buy some beer and foods. I saw Kyo holding a basket with two ice cream when I reached the counter.
"Kasama mo si El?" he asked while looking at my basket full of chips and beers.
"No," I shaked my head and placed my basket in the counter.
"Can I join you?" iniabot ko muna ang cash bago nagsalita.
"Sure," I was supposed to get the paper bag but Kyo took it and payed his ice creams.
Good thing he brought his car so we arrived earlier. Malapit lang naman ang convenience store sa condominium so I walked.
"Kumain ka na?" he asked while taking off his shoes.
"Oo, katatapos lang. Ikaw?" We both went the kitchen to get some utensils.
"Nope,"
"Magagalit-galit ka kapag di ako kumain tapos ikaw di pala kumakain?" I sarcastically joked.
"Ayoko kasing magutom ang mahal ko," because of that, aksidente 'kong nahulog ang kutsara't tinidor. How, awful!
"Patawa ka 'pre." sabi ko at dali-dali itong pinulot. My hands were shaking, get a grip!
"May darating babae at lalaki," he joked.
"Baka bakla," we both laughed at what I said.
Pinakain ko siya ng niluto ko kanina at binigyan ng juice habang ako ay gumagawa ng plates sa harap niya.
"Isusurprise sana kita ng ice cream kaso nakita kita sa convenience store," he handed me the other ice cream and a spoon.
"Surprise? Why?"
"I topped the bar!" he smiled at me.
"Congrats! Engineer!" I gave him a wide smile.
Nang matapos siyang kumain ay naghugas siya ng mga ginamit niya. Habang gumagawa ako ng plates ay kumakain ako ng ice cream. Nang matapos ay tumambay kami ni Kyo sa balcon.
"Congratulations, I'm so proud of you!" ngumiti ako sa kaniya and he held my hand. Agad kumawala ang luha sa mata niya which made my smile fade.
"Five years of pain and loneliness. Isang bati mo lang, pakiramdam ko napakalaki na ng nagawa ko. Everything was worth it. The pain, the heartache, the rejection, failure--- even losing you." He stared at my eyes while his tears keep on falling.
"It's fine that you lost me. Natupad natin ang mga pinapangarap natin kahit na wala nang tayo." I said in a low voice and smiled at him.
"Naging engineer 'nga ako, but I lost everything. I lost you," he held my cheeks and he smiled at me even though he keeps on crying. Nagsimula ng lumabo ang paningin ko dahil sa luha ngunit pinipigilan ko ito.
"We may lost each other, but we became better persons, didn't we?" I tried to be positive but it didn't worked out.
"I thought I became the better version of myself, but no, I didn't. I only reached my goals but not my dream."
"What?"
"Ikaw ang pangarap ko, Aesther." He held my hand tighter.
"Being an engineer and be an archer are my goals. But, being with you 'til we grow old, is my dream." dagdag pa niya.
"Bakit mo ko iniwan? Bakit hindi ako ang pinili mo?" I looked down when my tears began to fall.
"Kase, akala ko si Amber na ang mahal ko. Pero tangina, halos mabaliw na ako kakaisip sayo. Later on, I realized na ikaw talaga ang mahal ko."
"Ganun na ba kahirap ang piliin ako?" my voice broke. I looked at him at pasimpleng pinunasan ang mga luha ko.
"I may not found the reason to choose you and stay with you, but I found the reason to comeback." that made me cry even more.
_________________
Bebe- shortcut for 'pabebe'