"Welcome, Corregidor!" sabay naming isinigaw ni Kyo pagkababa namin galing sa barko.
I wear a white off-shouldered longsleeves and beige barbara trousers. I putted a fashion belt and paired it with white nike shoes. My hair was braided in half leaving some tiny hairs both side. I putted some light make-up and wear a summer hat with some black ribbon surrounding it. The jewelry set that were given to me is the one I am wearing right now and also, the gold anklet given by Kyo years ago.
DSLR Camera were hanging in my neck and my white handbag hanging in my arms. Kyo were holding our luggages.
He's wearing a button down polo colored navy blue partnered by white shorts. He has some sunglasses and waxed his hair. Same as me, he is wearing a white nike shoes.
Habang nasa byahe kami kanina ay marami ang nagpapakuha ng litrato. He is known for Demon in Archery. Isang pasok niya lamang daw ng arrow sa bow ay tatama na agad sa bull's eye.
It sounded bad, tho. Lol.
My mind is not that 'innocent' but I am still virgin!
"Dito ka, kuhanan kita ng litrato." he took a lot of shots. We enjoyed taking pictures solo and together. The scenery is so perfect. The wind is a little bit cold but it is still hot. Of course, Philippines.
"Hotel muna tayo tapos kain and then, gala!" I can't control my emotions so I screamed into joy.
Nang makarating kami sa suite ay nagpahinga muna kami habang nagaayos. Parehas kaming hindi na nagbihis dahil sa sobrang excited. I just retouched and sprayed perfume before going out. Kumain na lamang kami sa cafeteria ng hotel dahil marami-rami ang pupuntahan namin.
Pacific War Memorial Museum. 'Yan ang una naming destinasyon. Manghang-mangha kami sa ganda ng kapaligiran even though luma na ito. Kinda' scary but still, perfect.
Kyo didn't let go of my hand since we arrived here. He intertwined our hands like we're a couple. Suddenly, I felt some butterflies inside my tummy. My smile faded when I thought of something.
Iiwan mo ba ulit ako, Kyo? Pipiliin mo na ba ako? I'm scared of getting hurt. Ayoko ng maulit ang dati. Natatakot na akong mag-take ng risk.
"Is there something wrong, babe?" Napatingin ako sa kaniya ng hawakan niya ang aking pisngi. I gave him a small smile and slowly shaked my head.
He pulled me closer to him and kissed my forehead.
"Andito lang ako," he whispered. I was about talk when someone called him.
"Is that you Demon?" sabay kaming tumingin sa tatlong babaeng nasa gilid namin. They glanced me and I can see judgement and hatred from them.
"Trix!" Kyo smiled widely and kissed the girl on the cheeks. The two girls hugged Kyo.
Who the fuck these girls?
I turned around and walked all by myself leaving Kyo with those flirty girls. I can still hear those laugh and chuckles of them. Napairap ako sa kawalan habang nililibang ang sarili sa pagkuha ng litrato.
"Ang lalandi," Inis 'kong sinipa ang isang maliit na bato at tumama ito sa ulo ng isang lalaki. Agad akong nag-panic kaya paulit-ulit akong humingi ng tawad sa kaniya.
"Sorry? Magagamot ba ng sorry ang ginawa mo?!" he sound mad but he is still calm. May kamukha siya but I don't remember who.
"No pero gusto ko lang humingi ng tawad sa iyo."
Bebe naman neto. Ang liit liit ng bato, e!
"Tch," he uttered. Napapikit siya at huminga ng malalim. He's frustrated huh.
"Aesther Rosetta Grospe," pagpapakilala ko.
"Binato mo ko ng bato para mapansin kita? Nice move, lady." duon kumulo ang dugo ko lalo na ng makita siyang ngumisi.
"What the hell! It's not like that! You're not my type and I won't ever like you." I rolled my eyes and pushed him a little.
Umalis na ako roon at inantay si Kyo. He intertwined our hands again but I just kept quiet. Mainit pa rin ang dugo ko sa lalaking 'yun! Apakayabang!
"Hey, why do you look so bored? May nagawa ba ako?" he sounded concerned.
"Sino 'yung kausap mo kanina?" I tried to be normal.
Tinaasan niya naman ako ng kilay, "You, jealous?" the side of his lips raised a little.
"I am not!" I denied. Tumawa naman siya sa naging reaksyon ko kaya umirap ako at lumingon sa iba.
"Possesive, huh? I like it," he licked his lower lip and catched my glance.
Am I being possesive? I hope not. I don't have assurance that he's not gonna leave me for the nth time.
"That's Trixie, 'yung kausap ko kanina. There are ate's friends in LA." I just nodded. Well, what do you expect from Sefa? She's the most popular among us.
Mile-Long Barracks. We took a lot of pictures together. Hindi kami napagod kakakuha ng litrato at kakalakad ng halos ilang oras na. Kung ganito ba naman kaganda ang view, mapapagod ka pa ba? lol.
We ate lunch before going to Malinta Tunnel. They gave us a helmet with a light on the top of it.
"I'm scared, Kyo." I whispered. Nasa entrance pa rin kami ng tunnel ni Kyo dahil natatakot akong pumasok. It's so dark at kami lamang ni Kyo ang tao rito.
"Don't be. I am here," he held my hand and started to enter the tunnel. Bawat sulok ng tunnel ay may mga creepy sculptures which made my heart beats so fast.
Nataranta ako ng iwan ako ni Kyo at tumakbo siya hanggang exit. My knees and hands are trembling. Even my lips.
Para akong timang na tingin ng tingin sa likod, harap at magkabilang gilid. Para akong nakakulong sa isang silid na puro negatibo ang mayroon. I couldn't even make a single step!
"Face your fears, Aesther!" I heard him shouted. My tears began to fall. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na hindi pa pala ako totally recovered from depression.
I want to speak, I want to shout, I want to make a step--- but I am too weak!
"Aesther! Matapang ka diba? Ilabas mo ang tapang mo, wag 'kang duwag!" rinig 'kong sigaw ni Kyo. I can see him from here. He's trying to courage me.
Hahakbang sana ako ngunit napapikit ako ng mariin ng makaramdam ng takot. Halos mawalan na ako ng hininga dahil sa patuloy na paghikbi.
"Trust yourself, Aesther. Get out from that box! Get yourself fucking out the dark!" he shouted again.
Marahan akong pumikit at huminga ng malalim.
Okay self, I am letting you out from this dark.
Kasabay ng pagtakbo ko palabas ng tunnel ay ang walang tigil sa pagtulo ang mga luha ko. Kyo smiled because of what I did. Sinalubong niya ako ng yakap and I leaned on his chest.
"Hush now, babe." he whispered on my ear and caressed my hair.
I felt happiness of what I had achieved today. Pakiramdam ko ay nakalabas ako sa kulungan. Isang kulungan na magisa ko lamang at madilim.
Sa cafeteria muli kaming kumain sa hotel ng gabihan dahil pagod na kami masyado. Nang nasa suite na kami ay nag-order si Kyo ng mga hard drinks.
Ibinabad ko ang sarili ko sa bathtub at halos makalipas ang kalahating oras bago ako nakuntento. Nagsipilyo muna ako at naglagay ng cream sa mukha. I wear some beige pajama and red spaghetti strap. Inside my pajama were black lacey shorts.
There's no special about this night but I don't know why I am wearing like this. I used to wear pajamas and sweatshirt pullovers when sleeping but today's unsual.
I sat on the couch at the edge of the bed beside Kyo and started to drink vodka.
"I'll take a shower first," he licked his lower lips and looked away. Sinundan ko lamang siya ng tingin hanggang sa makapasok na sa banyo. Limang boteng alak ang kaniyang binili. Tatlong whiskey at dalawang vodka.
I opened the TV and watched Just A Stranger. Patuloy ako sa pag-inom habang naglakad patungo sa pintuan para i-lock. Ibinaba ko ang temperatura ng aircon dahil masyadong malamig at isinara ang sliding door sa balcon dahil malamig ang simoy ng hangin. I also closed the curtains.
I ate some chips and I felt someone sat beside me. He started also drinking and we started watching the movie.
When the characters started to make love, the atmosphere become so awkward. Kyo's hand was still on my waist and my head is at his shoulders.
Phew! Why on earth did I chose this movie? Soooo awkward!
Ilang beses nangyari ang scene na 'yun so we were quiet the whole time! Ubos na lahat ng alak at chips when the movie ended. Geez. That movie has a lot of sex scenes! But the ending was so painful.
Our eyes were red and also our cheeks. Burning, because of alcohol.
"Anong gusto 'mong gender kapag nagkaroon ka ng anak?" he asked.
"Hmm. I want a boy then, a girl. 2 is enough," I smiled at him.
"Then, let's make it now."
Bago pa ako makapagsalita ay agad niyang siniil ang aking labi ng halik. He brought me on the bed and started kissing me again.
His kisses were hungry and needy. He started kissing me on my neck. Sa gabing iyon ay ibinigay ko ang buong ako.
He's my first. And probably, my last.
That night was insane. I kept on begging for more. I sounded like a desperate for sex! I kept on moaning his name and begging for pleasure.
Pero isa lang ang nasa isip ko. I don't regret giving him my first. I mean, first's isn't that important for me. But for now, I don't know why it became important to me.
We were both tired and sleepy. I lost count on rounds, lol. I sounded like Tans and El, tho.
Huli 'kong nahagilap ang paghalik niya sa noo ko bago ako tuluyang nakatulog. I felt too much pleasure. Siya na mismo ang naglinis sa katawan ko since masakit ang pribadong parte ng katawan ko.
I can take pills tomorrow, just in case. He didn't use condoms or do withdrawal.
Kahit nakapikit ako ay ramdam ko ang pagsuot niya sa akin ng damit. I mean, I wear my lacey shorts and spaghetti strap but I think he put some pullovers and pajama on me.
I secretly smiled when he cuddled with me and kissed my hair.
"Sorry, napagod kita."