You know those words people always encourage you with. As in to never give up and you can do it. Well sometimes it can mean nothing but just words. Its how you respond to it that matters.
Well just about a few minutes back...
'I can't. I simply can't anymore. I can't feel my legs no more, worst is I'm going to faint. If this is how humans feel then please have mercy on their poor soul.'
Alexia was now on her third out of five laps that the bald scary looking gamma made her do.
It was an order she could not refuse. How can she when all eyes were on her. Even her own brother meant for her to suffer at that moment. And she sure was indeed suffering.
After her long depressingly second lap was over. The gamma had ordered the rest to follow her. Due to apparently Alexia was unfit and would take whole day which he did not have.
You could see the scowl attached onto his face as he watched her run the grounds.
Could you blame her though. Even a human would collapse. It was like two football pitches together.
Alexia was dripping in sweat as the sun began to shine brighter as the minutes went by.
Leo and Max had easily done two laps in a few minutes. Making their way past her again chuckling while she muttered curse words their way.
Everyone seemed to make it past her but she did not give up. It hurt her ego (which was not there to begin with) to come out last.
She would be a laughingstock if she did. Being a Beta's daughter would humiliate her even more.
Some did encourage her while she ran. A growl wanted to escape each time to ask if they would like to run in her shoes but not literally.
Now on her final fifth lap after half her training buddies were done with their round. Alexia was dripping in sweat. Ready to give up.
This was actually a lesson. As dumb as it was and it really was. This showed how she depended on of her wolf for her abilities. Each and every one felt that challenge.
How we all depend on something until it is gone. We can't move forward without it. We seem defeated by the world.
And right now they realized that without their wolves, they would simply be a human who was weak. And would be defeated by wolves.
It made Alexia think that she was no one without the title of being a part of the Beta family. But that was all she was, apart. Alexia was not even good enough to be an omega.
Things had always been handed to her on a golden platter. But with this war, she had to fight by herself, for herself. To stay alive.
She needed to be strong, to get strong, be dedicated to herself and get over her childish antics because this was a war, and she had to be prepared to fight till the end.
It was amazing that such revelation can come to a person while deep in their thoughts to account for the situation they were in.
At the end of her fifth lap, Alexia was panting furiously as she laid on the grass. Her eyes were shut closed. The morning sun blazing down on her face.
She tried to steady her intake of breaths to even them out.
Suddenly the red light she could see beneath her shut-eye lids were gone. It was now dark as if the sun was blocked.
Opening her eyes through exhaustion. She saw a figure. As her vision became clear she saw who it was and it made her horrified that her eyes were now wide open. Groaning internally.
"Did I say you could take a break?" The gamma said.
Quickly she shook her head as a replied no.
"Then get up and join the others!"
Nodding her head frantically. She scrambled off the ground and stood in the same orderly position as when she first arrived.
"No one gets tired while I am around. You will train, train and train. I don't care who you are. At the end of it all it is for your own benefit and not mine. It is to keep yourself alive. By watching how pathetic you all were, I was ashamed. But you should be. It is pathetic how much you depend on your abilities for everything, it is an answer to all your problems it seems. But you are wrong because as long as you are physically weak then your wolves would also be weak. Throughout this whole week you would be training in your human form, without your wolves. Remember this is to keep yourself and those around you alive during this war."
Each and every person hung their head in shame. They knew their gamma was right.
"Retire back to your respective homes and be back here at twelve sharp. We have more training that needs to be done."
Making her way towards Max and Leo who had discarded their shirts, she said not a word. Alexia grabbed her brothers bag, took out water bottle and began walking away.
She was a she-wolf not to be messed with as her emotions were all over the place at this moment.
***
Max stared at Alexia as she walked away. After the conversation he had with his father, he knew that Alexia had to become stronger and that means she needed to be pushed. He could not let her depend on him anymore. Yes he would fight for her during this war. But she also needed to be strong on her part for upcoming battles.
"Leo, is it even possible for us to defend our pack? I mean look at us. We are a small pack and to think those humans will come for us next is just--"
"Unbearable. Yeah, I know the feeling. We know what fate has in store for us all. To survive will be a miracle. But to win will be impossible. The war has just started to end and who are we to even end it."
"Guess you're right. Plus Alex must be fuming now. And I need your help to push her to her limits. I've decided I won't just sit back and watch her act weak when we know what she's capable off."
"Glad you have come to your senses. Dad will be pleased to hear that."
"So I saw you with Olivia exactly three nights ago, behind the pack house..."
A small blush crept up on Max's face. And straight he went to denial.
"Uh I have no idea what you're talking about... I'll catch you later...mom wants me home for breakfast."
"Mm." Leo grinned as Max turned and jogged the way home.
***
Controlling anger is a problem for many people. Something triggers their temper and off they go, losing control of their mouths or worse. Here, too, people may vow that next time they'll be different. Anger control is a big issue between wolves, not only because others do things that make us angry, but also because we may think we have a greater right to let loose when they do.
Alexia knew she was good enough and capable of anything. But why did she get furious over a petty task she asked herself plenty of times.
Well the answer is that even though you know you believe in something you can do. But no matter how much you believe, that without effort then you are capable of nothing.
Yes Alexia believed that she was capable of great and can achieve victory. But she put no effort into becoming great. Leaving her with a pointless dream.
As Alexia laid on her bed after a warm shower. She felt lost and empty. Guess being angry took her energy but it was her laziness.
With her eyes closed looking up to her ceiling she tried to steady her breaths and empty her mind.
Focusing on one thought, her family. She loved them no matter how hard they were being on her. She loved Max even though he could be stuck up at times with a huge ego. But at the end of the day they were always one in heart and soul because that's how a family is. They have ups and downs but they face them together.
If she had to go have breakfast, the atmosphere would be clear. They would simply enjoy a meal together and laugh.
But Alexia was still angry and that anger was burning inside her. Now she was not angry at anyone, why put the blame on anyone when she should be blaming herself.
She had no motivation what so ever. Lack of concentration, lack of effort, lack of loving herself for being her. So why be angry at her brother when this was a lesson for her.
Every moment in your life is a lesson so grab onto it and work with it. Alexia now knew that it was her all along. Her own self bring herself down. Her telling her self she was not enough. Her listening to the voice in her head telling her that she should quit.
Where should she go from this point?
Just give up?
To ignore everything?
The evolution of man did not occur without learning and putting effort into succeeding. So why should that not be her plan.
Let her grab onto that fading star, plug it into her soul and let it shine brighter. Because all she needs it a little motivation and that motivation comes from within.
Blowing a warm breath out of her mouth she opened her eyes.
"I can do this. I will do this. Not just to only prove to myself that I am worth it but also to make my parents proud of me that I am not going to let bad juju bring me down."
***
Being a Beta's daughter should make Alexia popular with lots of friends. But this is a department that she cares not to visit.
Because sometimes friends can be a back stabbing bitch. You trust them once, give all you have to them and at the end you've come to realize that you were being used.
That was Alexia's life when she was in school. She learned that her so called 'friends' only used her. So what did she do? Well she cut them out.
She removed them from her life, not wanting to deal with being hurt anymore.
That left her with no-one. She no longer trusted. So how could she have a best friend. Simply because she did not have one.
Not having to go to school and being busy with learning made her bored. All Alexia would now do was eat and watch Netflix. Alone.
It was depressing because wolves were usually friendly creatures and loved having company. But not Alexia.
All she did today was: eat, watch television, help her mother clean, bake cookies, train like a human and sleep.
That was her new daily routine.
But mostly her day was gone with training. Not training to make her wolf stronger but to physically strengthen herself. And all that hard work was exhausting, making her want to give in her wand for retirement.
The bald, scary vain popping Gamma was still after her. Making her life miserable. Not to mention that her brother Max was being difficult with her. Yes she apologized for using his shirt but after a while she knew it was not because of the shirt but because of something else. Even her dad kept giving her 'the eye'.
And she sure wanted to find out what it was. No matter how long and hard she pushed for answers.