Simula noong bumalik ako dito sa bahay hindi ko pa nakausap si mama, kahit isang beses. Ang lalim ng sugat na iniwan niya sa 'min simula nang araw na iniwan niya kami.
Naranasan kong mawalan ng nanay 'yung tipong gusto ko ng kalinga at aruga ng isang ina pero wala. Nasanay nalang akong walang magulang kaya hanggang ngayon ganito pa din kami. Buti nalang at andiyan si lola para tumayong nanay at tatay naming magkakapatid noong panahong iniwan niya kami. Kaya hindi ko alam kung handa na ba 'kong patawadin siya. Pero sana dumating 'yung araw na magbago siya at mapatawad ko ang nanay ko, dahil ayokong mayroong sama ng loob sa puso ko dahil ambigat-bigat sa feeling.
From Rigel:
Cass, Nicolo's Birthday Celebration later 9:00 PM at Pitcher Perfect's Bar. I will fetch you then we'll go together, I love you.
To Rigel:
Okay see you later, I love you too.
Matapos kong gumawa ng plates at magreview, naligo na 'ko at nagbihis. Pagkababa ko ay nandoon na si Rigel nag-aantay sa 'kin.
Agad siyang lumapit sa 'kin upang bigyan ako ng halik sa pisngi.
"Are you done? Let's go?" He asked.
I nodded.
"We're going na po, I'll bring her home safely." Pagpapaalam niya.
Nagpaalam lang ako kay lola at lumabas na kami ng bahay. Sumakay na kami sa kotse niya makalipas ang sampung minuto, nasa tapat na kami ng bar na sinasabi niya. Pinark niya lang ang kotse at bumaba na kami.
"Hi Nicolo! Happy Birthday!" I greeted him.
"Thank you Kc!" He gave me a smile, then he tried to hug me but Rigel is always there to block him.
"Happy Birthday Bro, please stop being annoying." Rigel said, then he rolled his eyes.
"Thank's pre, hahaha I just want to tease you. I'll just check my other visitors, I'll be back" Nicolo chuckles.
Umupo na kami, pagkabalik ni Nicolo ay may kasama na siyang waiter. Naglapag siya ng Henessy, Jack Daniels, Don Julio Blanco, Remy Martin, Hendricks at Tanquery London Dry.
"Hindi naman siguro sila alak na alak 'no?" I whispered to myself.
Agad na uminom si Misty, sunod-sunod ang inom niya ng alak at hinahayaan lang siya ng mga kaibigan niya. Nagalala 'ko sakaniya kaya tinanong ko si Rigel kung may problema ba si Misty.
"Rigel okay lang ba si Misty?" I asked with so much confussion.
"She's broken that's why we let her drink."
Sobrang wasted na ni Misty habang kami naman ni Rigel ay hindi man lang uminom kahit isang patak ng alak. Pinapainom ko siya dahil okay lang naman sa 'kin, ngunit ayaw niya daw dahil nagbabago na siya.
"It hurts a lot! Fuck you cheaters! All of you are fucking trash!" Misty yelled while she's crying so hard.
Agad naman siyang inawat ni Clyde at Nicolo. Napatingin ako sa gawi ni Rigel.
"Please don't cheat on me Rigel, don't do that to me. I don't want to experience that kind of pain. "
Tumingin naman siya sa aking mga mata.
"Cassiopeia your soul is rare and beautiful, I will never cheat on you, I'm scared of hurting you because I'm afraid to lose you,
you're my greatest blessing Cass. I prayed for you everyday, so why would I cheat on you? If your jelous then it leads us to fight, we have to communicate properly we'll always try to fix it, okay?" He sincerely said while looking at me.
"You're the one who always feel jelous, not me." I rolled my eyes.
Umuwi din kami agad dahil may pasok pa 'ko bukas. Sinabay namin si Misty at hinatid sakanila pauwi dahil hindi niya na kayang tumayo dahil sa sobrang kalasingan.
Nang dumating naman ang araw ng Birthday ni Rigel, kinuntsaba ko ang mga kaibigan niya at naghanda kami ng munting surpresa sa condo niya.
"Guys! Paakyat na daw siya, nasa elevator na." He texted me.
Pinatay na namin ang ilaw, sinindihan na namin ang kandila sa cake at nagtago kami sa gilid ng pinto. Maya-maya ay tumunog na ang pinto hudyat na andiyan na siya, agad namang tinapat ni Nicolo ang poppers kay Rigel.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGEL!"
"Fuck!" Rigel lips parted in shocked, then he held his chest in panic.
"Happy Birthday Rigel!" I gave him a hugged and kissed.
We sing for him then he blow the cake. After we eat, they drink alcohol until midnight.
"Cass do you want to meet my parents?" He asked.
"Ayoko, hindi ko haharapin mga magulang mo hangga't hindi pa 'ko nakakagraduate at wala pa 'kong napapatunayan. Ayokong isipin nilang hindi ako nararapat para sa anak nila."
"Okay, after 4 years I will introduced you."
Kinabukasan, pumasok na 'ko sa school habang si Rigel naman ay nagsimula ng magtraining sa kumpanya nila.
To Rigel:
How's your first day? Don't forget to eat and stay hydrated. Rest if you have free time.
I texted him after our class.
From Rigel:
I'm still adjusting, it's so hard but I know I'll get used to it. I'll fetch you later after your band practice. I'm done eating, I love you.
To Rigel:
You did great, I'm here for you and I believe in you. Stay healthy. See you later I love you too, my star.
Hindi na nagreply si Rigel kaya naman inaya ko na si Mica sa Music hall dahil magrerecord daw kami ngayon.
Matapos naming magrecord lumabas na agad ako ng school, tinext ko na din si Rigel na tapos na kami. Sinundo niya ako at hinatid sa bahay.
Pagkadating namin sa bahay nagulat ako ng namimilipit na si mama sa sakit, manganganak na ata siya. Hindi na 'ko nag abala pang ibaba ang bag na bitbit ko. Binuhat siya ni Rigel at sinakay sa kotse niya, mabilis siyang nagmaneho patungong Ospital.
Nag le-labor na pala si mama, after 3 hours, lumabas na ang kapatid kong lalaki napakagwapo at antangos ng ilong.
Nagulat ako ng may lalaking dumating, tatay pala noong kapatid ko. Buti naman at pinanagutan niya ang nanay ko.
Umalis na kami ni Rigel dahil kailangan niya pa daw gumawa ng Marketing plan dumiretso kami sa condo niya para doon gumawa. Habang busy siya sa paggawa ng Marketing plan inabala ko naman ang sarili ko sa pagrereview at paggawa ng mga plates ko.
Nang matapos kaming pareho ay kumain muna kami.
"Anong plano mo para sa anniversary natin Rigel?" I asked him while we are eating.
"I have a plan." He casually said.
"What's your plan?" I asked, curiously.
"I will listen to your plan." He chuckles.
Pinaghahampas ko siya dahil napakasiraulo niya, seryoso akong nagtatanong tapos gano'n isasagot niya.
Matapos naming kumain, hinatid niya na ko pauwi. Kinamusta ko ang lagay ni lola sa kwarto okay naman siya kaya panatag ang loob ko bago ako umakyat sa taas.
Kinabukasan, nakauwi na si mama at ang baby Xyrius namin. Wala 'kong pasok ngayon kaya dinala ko si lola sa ospital upang magpacheck-up.
Si Rigel naman ay mayroong presentation ngayon, kaya habang inaantay kong matapos ang check-up ni lola ay tinext ko muna siya.
To Rigel:
Goodluck for your presentation later. I love you, pampalakas ng loob mo hahaha.
From Rigel:
Thank you, I'll text you later. I love you too Cass.
Hindi na 'ko nagreply pa. Nang matapos ang check-up ni lola, okay naman siya at walang komplikasyon kaya naman umuwi na kami sa bahay.
Nagreview lang ako dahil nalalapit na ang finals namin ng biglang tumunog ang phone ko.
From Rigel:
The presentation went well Cass, Thank you so much.
Agad naman akong nagreply.
To Rigel:
Congrats Rigel! You're Welcome. Nagrereview pa 'ko, mamaya ka na magtext, nadidistract ako.
From Rigel:
Okay, I love you.
Hindi na 'ko nagreply pa ulit at nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagrereview.
Kinabukasan, maaga 'kong pumasok, may natanggap akong text mula kay Rigel.
From Rigel:
Good luck! Have you eaten breakfast? Did you sleep last night? Btw I'll fetch you later I will treat you.
To Rigel:
Thank you, off course I sleep and I also eat before I go to school. See you later.
Nagstart na kaming mag exam. Nang matapos ay excited akong lumabas ng school dahil excited na kong makita at makasama siya.
Nang makita ko siya ay agad ko siyang niyakap. Pinasakay niya ko sa kotse at nagsimula na siyang magdrive. Isasama dapat namin si Mica kaso may lakad daw sila ni Migs.
Habang nagdadrive si Rigel may nilabas siyang Boquet ng flowers.
He handed the flowers to me, " I love you Cassiopeia I'm so blessed to have you." He said while driving.
Makalipas ang ilang minuto, nakarating kami sa mall. Nagpareserve siya sa isang restaurant, at doon kami kumain.
"Thank you Rigel, you never fail to make me feel special I love you." I hugged him.
Days passed by , then my Birthday came. We celebrated my Birthday by having a simple dinner with my family. Rigel gave me a cute anklet as a gift, it has a star design around it.
Naging okay na din kami ni mama. Mabuti at nagawa ko siyang patawarin sa kabila ng nagawa niya sa 'ming pag iwan. Ansarap sa puso kapag nagawa mong patawarin ang taong mahal mo, Sobrang panalo 'yung puso mo.
Weeks passed by, our band recording has been recognized. There are many gigs waiting for us.
But I never forget to have time with Rigel. I always remind him to eat properly and drink water to stay healthy.
There are times that I'm preparing food for him, then I will visit him to his office.
One time, binisita ko siya naabutan kong napakaraming papel ang nasa ibabaw ng lamesa niya, habang natutulog siya. Napagod siguro kakatrabaho. Nilapitan ko siya at niyakap. Nagising siya dahil sa ginawa ko, I kissed him on his cheeks. Then he finally opened his eyes, he blinked twice, then he was so shocked when he saw me.
"I brought you food."
"Thank you Cass."
"How was your day?" I asked him.
"It was tiring, but I can handle it."
"How are you? Are you eating and drinking water properly?" He asked.
"Oo naman, inaalagan ko sarili ko 'no? Baka ikaw hindi?"I chuckles.
"No I'm not, you alway remind me."
We always remind each other everytime to have some rest if you're tired, to eat and drink water all the time. I understand that he was so busy doing his work that's why I always reminding him so that he can't forget.
Then our first anniversary came. It's hard to find a gift for him I can't decide. That's why Mica helped me picked a cute gift for him. It was a starry night sky projector star cosmos light. We pick this one because I know that he loves looking at the sky every night.
Sinundo niya 'ko sa bahay namin.
At pinagpaalam ako kay lola at mama.
I was wearing a black halter top, denim jacket, ripped jeans and black belt. I also wore the necklace that he gave me when we are finally official. I tied up my straight hair. I just wore a white converse.
Nagpaalam ako sakanila bago kami umalis. Sumakay na kami sa kotse niya at nagsimula na siyang magmaneho. Nakatingin lang ako sa labas, iniisip ko kung saan niya 'ko dadalhin. Nakatulog na ata 'ko sa sobrang tagal ng biyahe namin. Nang magising ako ay nakapark na ang kotse niya sa hindi pamilyar na lugar. I opened the door and went outside. Rigel is waiting for me. He held my hand and we run towards the shore. It's almost sunset. We sit and relax, waiting for the sun to go down. Hindi ko naisip na magagawa namin 'to ni Rigel ng magkasama.
Nang papalubog na ang araw, tumingin ako sa magaganda niyang mata at tumingin din siya sa akin.
"Happy 1st Anniversary Cassiopeia. I will never call you with those cheesy endearment because your name sounded very special for me that's why I will never replace it. I'm so blessed to have a woman like you that's why I want to see you with gray hair, I want to grow old with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much Cassiopeia." He sincerely said while looking at me.
"Yuck I don't even like those cheesy endearments, nakakadiri, nakakasuka." I acted like I'm about to puke, "Rigel I still remember the day I met you. Every night I told the stars about you. I always think of you and I will be forever grateful that you were born in this world and I met you. You always pray for me and it's priceless to be in someones prayer. Rigel Happy 1st Anniversary, I want you today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and for the rest of my life. Rigel I love you times all the stars in the milky way galaxy."
He gave me a letter and I gave him the starry night sky projector.
Cassiopeia,
Thank you for your laugh because it always builds me up and your warm hands that gives me strength.Your eyes, which I lose myself every time you look at me like you were staring at the sky with full of stars, your feelings for me that never fades, which overcomes me every time I felt tired. Your lips, that always stayed true when you kiss me. You know what? You always made my heart beats faster every time, and whenever I see you, I lose my breath. For me you are my everything, you complete me. My life will be meaningless without you. What I really wanted to tell you is, you are the best person that I met in my life. I'm so blessed to have you Cassiopeia. Happy 1st Anniversary, I hope that we'll end up marrying each other.
Love Rigel.
Sobrang saya ko dahil natuto siya sa mga sinabi ko. Natutuwa ko dahil tumatak sa isip niya ang lahat ng sinasabi ko.
We enjoyed the beauty of the sunset. Then he kissed me and I couldn't help myself, I became addicted to it.
Nothing feels better than watching sunset with the man you love the most and talking about life.