Chereads / I'm dead without you / Chapter 30 - Dinner time

Chapter 30 - Dinner time

Shiro spent every waking hour at Blue Haven Records. Sometimes he worked with Jaxx; other times, he was alone. His work with the album went smoothly, and for the first time in years, Shiro had fun.

But the thing that he looked forward to every day was when Dorian came to visit the studio. It was the same procedure every time. Dorian knocked on the door before he quietly walked in, and he waited by the entrance until Shiro was done whatever he was doing. A soon as the black-haired man gave a sign that he was finished, the two men walked up to each other and joined in a tight embrace. They needed to be close. To feel one another.

After they bonded, Dorian couldn't stop thinking about Shiro. The omega entirely occupied his thoughts. Shiro was the same but managed to at least focus on work. Dorian didn't even recognize himself, and he felt confused because he had thought that if he bonded with Shiro, his life would return to normal.

Dorian, feeling quite desperate, had turned to Finian for consultation. It was awkward, but Dorian felt he had no one else to turn to. And Finian seemed only glad that Dorian thought he could ask him for advice. After listening to his husband describe this new feeling, Finian reassured his husband that it was completely normal. In a newly formed bond, the alpha would feel the urge to protect their partner all the time. That instinct usually became weakened after the couple's second heat together. But because Shiro and Dorian were a fated pair that spent most of their time apart and Dorian being a Prime-alpha and all, the couple seemed to feel that urge more than normal. Finian suggested that Dorian should spend some nights at Shiro's, but stubborn as he was, Dorian refused.

So when the newly formed couple finally managed to see each other, they had to touch one another. Dorian lifted Shiro up in his strong arms, and every time he went directly to the mark on Shiro's neck. Dorian kissed it gently before he bit again, making sure that his mark wouldn't fade, which it never would, but Dorian wanted to be sure.

Shiro shivered in delight every time he felt Dorian's teeth against his skin, and he could barely keep in a cry of pleasure.

"Kiss me," he begged, and Dorian always complied.

They kissed for a long time, but to Shiro's disappointment, that was all they ever did. They never went further even if he was sure that Dorian wanted to, just as much as he did. Shiro could feel Dorian's hard cock against him, he could see the burning desire in those beautiful blue eyes. But Dorian always stopped.

Shiro had never been so frustrated in his life. Sure, he knew why Dorian didn't take things further. It was only because Dorian probably thought he would betray Finian if he did more with Shiro, and one part of the omega understood that. But the other part, the one madly in love, wanted Dorian to lose control and to take him right there in that studio. Even though he wasn't in heat, Shiro's entire body ached after his alpha. And for the first time, Shiro longed after his pheromones. Because then Dorian wouldn't be able to reject him.

So every day, Dorian and Shiro embraced. Dorian would deepen the mark, they kissed, and then he left. Leaving Shiro in a hot mess. Shiro always ran to the restroom afterward, desperately taking care of it on his own, which was far from satisfying. But what Shiro didn't know was that Dorian did the same thing. He went to his private restroom and masturbated because Dorian was also frustrated. He had never felt anything like that before. The alpha wanted Shiro so bad it hurt, but he couldn't. Dorian simply couldn't make himself have sex with someone other than Finian. So Dorian also wanted Shiro's pheromones. Then he would have an excuse to lose control and to do those things he so desperately wanted.

Everyday Dorian got home after work and acted like it was all good. He only talked to Finian once about this new strange feelings, but after that, Dorian didn't mention it again. It still felt weird that Finian had suggested that he should spend some nights with Shiro as well. But Dorian had accepted that he would probably never fully understand Finian. But he still loved his husband more than words could ever explain either way.

At the McCallister resident, everything had returned to normal. Caoimhe seemed to be more at ease with the thought of Dorian having two partners. Still, she avoided talking about it if it wasn't necessary. Eamon was more curious, and sometimes he asked questions when Finian wasn't around. The kids still felt a bit awkward mentioning Shiro in front of Finian, even though their daidaí said it was fine. That he honestly didn't mind. Well, the only thing that Finian did mind was that he was getting heavier by the week, and his self-esteem was rock bottom. With Eamon and Caoimhe, he hadn't cared about how he looked or how much weight he gained. But now, every time he looked in the mirror, he wanted to smash it to pieces. He knew it was because he compared himself to Shiro. That slender little omega. Finian felt like a hideous ogre beside Shiro. He could never compete with that beautiful man. Finian just wanted the pregnancy to be over already. He wanted his little one with him and Dorian, and sometimes, he wanted everything to be like it was. But Finian would never say that out loud.

The week past quickly, and on Friday, Dorian got home before Finian. When the pregnant man walked in through the front door, he felt the most delightful. It was his favorite food, Dorian's homemade lasagna. He walked into the kitchen, and what he saw there made his heart hammer in his chest with happiness. Dorian was dressed in a black tuxedo, and he had on a gray apron. The tall man hadn't noticed Finian in the doorway, and he stood dancing to 'Dance Monkey' in front of the stove, swaying his hips. The tight ass looking absolutely delicious in the pregnant man's eyes. Finian stood a good while enjoying the beautiful sight of his beloved until Dorian looked over his shoulder, smiling at him.

"Enjoying the view?"

Finian grinned and walked up to Dorian.

"Very much so. What's the occasion?"

"Nothing much. Eamon is going to sleep at Mike's, and Caoimhe is at my parents. I wanted some alone time with my honey."

Finian had the biggest smile on his lips when he hugged his husband close.

"Thank you, darling," Finian said and received a passionate kiss.

The couple had their dinner while they laughed, talked, and gave each other much-needed attention. And they had a good time together, they really had. But for Dorian, it felt like something was missing. Finian didn't notice. He was just grateful that Dorian gave him as much attention as he did. Knowing that Shiro usually occupied Dorian's thought. And out of the ordinary, the couple didn't have sex. When it was time for them to sleep, they just laid on each side of the bed, and both of them were filled with a bizarre feeling that something didn't feel right.

The next morning Dorian and Finian pretended like everything was fine. And they spent the day preparing for dinner with Shiro. Dorian couldn't keep still, but he didn't want Finian to notice, so Dorian went out shopping, he cleaned the house, and he picked up the kids. Everything to keep himself occupied. And when it was time to go and get Shiro, Dorian was excited as a school kid on his first date. Dorian drove to fast and got to his parent's second apartment too early. So he sat in the car, full of nerves, drumming with his fingers against the steering wheel to the music. When there was a knock on the window, Dorian flinched and stared startled out the window. Shiro smiled at him on the other side, and Dorian could die of happiness. Shiro had his black hair in a ponytail and a white shirt with a mandarin collar. He looked absolutely amazing. Dorian never knew a guy could look that hot in a ponytail.

He quickly opened the door and had to hold himself back from pulling the other man into his arms. They still didn't know how to deal with this whole bonding thing in public, and Shiro, being a famous artist and all, made them all targets of the paparazzi. So they had decided to wait a while until they went public with anything. Dorian just smiled and walked in front of Shiro to the passenger door and opened it for his mate.

"You look lovely," he said, and Shiro's face lightened up.

"Thank you. You too."

Dorian sure did. The blond man wore a grey shirt that was tight on his toned upper body and a pair of black trousers. Shiro could not get enough of this sexy man. But he summoned all self-control he could muster up and got into the seat. Dorian quickly walked around the car, got behind the wheel, and closed the door, glancing at Shiro.

"Did you sleep okay?"

The car started, and Dorian started to drive. Shiro nodded, but he lied. He didn't sleep well at all. Shiro couldn't calm down at all, because all he could think about was that he would meet Dorian's husband and two children as Dorian's mate. It was very nerve-wracking for Shiro.

"I've missed you," Shiro suddenly said, and just as the words left the man's mouth, his eyes grew wide with surprise.

Shiro couldn't believe what he just said. His face turned red and embarrassed he looked down at his hands. Shiro noticed in the corner of his eyes that Dorian stared at him, and suddenly the car turned to the side of the road and stopped. He looked out the window and saw that they were parked in an empty alley. Confused, he turned to look at Dorian but found himself being pulled into the alphas strong arms and his lips captured by Dorian's. The kiss was desperate, full of longing and need. And it took Shiro's breath away. Dorian went on to kiss Shiro's neck and found the mark, biting it hard. Shiro clung to Dorian's shirt and moaned, feeling himself grow hard. Dorian started to lick the blood and kissed Shiro's forehead.

"I've missed you too," he said, sounding almost sad.

Shiro sighed and closed his eyes, leaning against his alpha's chest.

"I'm sorry, but I think it's best if we put a bandaid on that."

"Does it bleed much?" Shiro asked.

"Yeah, a bit, plus, I don't think it a good idea to show it to the kids just yet."

"Should I have my hair down?"

Shiro suggested, but Dorian immediately shook his head and firmly said:

"No! You must have your hair like that. You look good in it."

Shiro looked away and blushed by the comment. Which made Dorian place a gentle little kiss on the omegas lips before he took a bandaid from the compartment and put it on Shiro's slender neck. The touch made Shiro shiver, and he had to focus on keeping his breathing from racing.

"We need to go," Dorian said when he was done and continued to drive.

As they got closer, Shiro felt his nerves almost getting the better of him, and it felt like he would die. Dorian seemed to sense that his mate was distressed, and he grabbed Shiro's hand with his free one and held it firmly.

"You don't need to worry. I promise everything will be alright," Dorian said with his kind smile.

They sat like that for the rest of the drive. And it wasn't until the fated pair stood in front of the door to the house that Dorian let go of Shiro's hand. Dorian still had his reassuring smile, and he put his hand on Shiro's back.

"Relax. They are amazing."

Shiro just nodded, and when they got inside, it felt like his heart would beat out of his chest as they walked to the dining room. And there they waited, the three people who scared Shiro the most.

Finian smiled brightly when he saw Dorian and Shiro, and it was a genuine smile. All the insecurities Finian had been feeling was overshadowed by the longing to have a good relationship with Shiro. Not only because Shiro was Dorian's mate but because he really liked Shiro and wanted them to be good friends. So Finian was honestly glad to see Shiro when the younger man walked into the room. Finian walked up to Shiro and embraced the smaller man.

At first, Shiro flinched, surprised over the friendly reaction, but he returned the hug.

"I'm glad to see you again. I've missed you!" Finian said and let Shiro go.

"Thank you for inviting me," Shiro said, smiling, relieved that the man he respected seemed to accept him.

"Well, you're family now, isn't that right, Luv?" Finian looked at his husband, and Dorian nodded.

"That's right, Babe," Dorian walked past Shiro and Finian, and he put his arms over Eamon and Caoimhe's shoulders, making them step closer to their guest.

"These are my two wonderful kids, Eamon, and Caoimhe."

Shiro's heart pounded nervously in his chest as he looked at the two teenagers, meeting their gaze. Eamon really looked like Dorian, but with red hair and green eyes. The boy was wearing a white shirt and black jeans, and he was already taller than Shiro. He walked up to Shiro with his hand stretched toward him.

"It's nice to meet you," the boy said, and his eyes, voice, and expression showed nothing but genuine sincerity.

Shiro grasped the boy's hand and smiled at him.

"Likewise!"

Shiro glanced at the young girl who pressed her body to Dorian's. This was it. This was the person he really needed to get on good terms with. Caoimhe had unfortunately already met Shiro, and it wasn't during the best circumstances. Shiro felt really bad about that, and he understood if the young girl was suspicious of him.

"Hi there, Caoimhe," Shiro said and bowed.

Caoimhe's eyes got big, and to Shiro's surprise, she squealed and hid behind her father. Finian sighed. He sounded irritated as he was standing beside Shiro, and Dorian shook his head in amusement, grinning. Shiro didn't understand, and he looked confused at Eamon.

"Caoimhe, what are you doing?" Her brother asked, and frowned.

Caoimhe stood on her toes and pulled on her father's shoulder, urging him to bend down. Dorian did, and the girl whispered something in his ear. Dorian's grin got even wider, and he obviously had trouble keeping from laughing. The girl noticed that and glared at him.

"Caoimhe, don't be rude. Greet, Shiro." Finian said, sounding annoyed.

"No, no! There's no need. You can take your time, that's alright!" Shiro quickly intervened, not wanting Caoimhe to be forced to accept him.

The girl glanced discreetly at Shiro and took a deep breath.

"Hi," she said, so quiet Shiro could barely hear it, and she looked down at her feet.

Shiro felt relieved and smiled at the girl. Finian sighed, and Shiro could tell that the man was irritated, but seeing that Dorian continue to smile, made Shiro think that it wasn't that bad.

"Well, let's show Shiro around. Would you mind doing it, Eamon? I'm going to need Dorian's help in the kitchen, and Caoimhe is setting the table," Finian asked, and Eamon nodded.

"Follow me please," he said and started to walk.

Shiro glanced at Dorian, and the man, still with the girl holding on to him, nodded encouragingly at Shiro, mouthing 'see you later.'

Seeing Dorian with the girl made Shiro fall even deeper in love with his mate. Finian had repeatedly told him that Dorian was great with his kids, and Shiro could now see it for himself. It made him hopeful. Perhaps Dorian would embrace Ikumi and be a parent to her as well. Did he actually dare hope?

Shiro hurried his footsteps and got right behind Eamon. The teenager intrigued Shiro, he seemed really earnest, very polite, and level-headed. He didn't seem like Dorian at all, and the boy was perhaps even calmer then Finian.

"Don't mind, Caoimhe. She's still confused about everything. I mean, her biggest idol becoming her new stepfather after all."

"Yeah, I heard she liked my music," Shiro said, happy that Eamon seemed to accept him somewhat.

Eamon stopped and shooked his head. His face was serious.

"She doesn't just like your music. She is crazy about you. Look at this," the boy said and pulled out his phone from his jeans pocket.

He showed the screen to Shiro. It was a picture of a room, and on the walls were posters of him, and the bedding even had Shiro on it. There were pillows, a backpack, and clothes. Everything was related to him. The girl had almost every 'Shiro Nakamura' merch available, and Shiro cleared his throat, feeling a little embarrassed.

"So please don't judge her too harshly," Eamon asked concerned.

"Don't worry, I understand."

Eamon just nodded, like he accepted what the man said and continued walking. The care the boy felt for his younger sister was lovely, and Shiro knew right then that he liked the young man.

Eamon showed Shiro around the house, and while they took the 'house tour,' they talked about Eamon, what he liked in school, his interest, and plans for the future. The boy had really thought of his future, and he worked hard to obtain it. That impressed Shiro a lot, and when he complimented the boy, Shiro could see that the tip of Eamon's ears turned a little red, and the boy looked away.

When Shiro and Eamon got to the dining room, the dinner was ready, and they joined the others at the table. Shiro sat with Finian and Dorian by his side, and Dorian smiled tenderly at the omega when they got seated.

"You got a lovely house," Shiro said and smiled at Dorian, happy to be with him again.

"Thank you, Pet," Dorian caressed Shiro's hand under the table before he started to eat.

The dinner was a success. Everybody except Caoimhe talked with Shiro. The girl was careful not to even look at him. But when she did dare to steal glances of him, and Shiro happen to notice it and smiled at her, the girl turned bright red and quickly looked away. Shiro thought she was absolutely adorable.

Finian asked how the album was coming along, and he listened as both Shiro and Dorian talked excitedly about every detail of the record. Shiro noticed that Caoimhe seemed really interested, but she tried not to show it. After the delicious Bœuf Bourguignon, Finian and the kids went to the kitchen to prepare the dessert and left Dorian and Shiro alone. Shiro knew that Finian had planned to let the newly bonded couple be alone for a little while, but it felt weird, and Shiro couldn't relax. Dorian noticed it, and he took Shiro's hand in his and kissed it.

"Relax. They really like you."

"But not Caoimhe. And I really don't blame her."

But Dorian shook his head.

"You know that she whispered something to me when you first got here, right?" Dorian asked and gave a long look that made Shiro shiver with anticipation.

"Yeah, I remember."

Dorian started so grin, and he moved closer to Shiro, they were so close that he could feel Dorian's breath on his lips.

"She said that you were beautiful!"

Shiro stared at Dorian, couldn't believe what he said, but then he started to smile.

"She said that?"

"Yeah, she really loves you, you know."

"Eamon said that too."

Dorian suddenly kissed Shiro's lips and caressed his cheek.

"I'm happy you came," Dorian said, and nibbled on Shiro's bottom lip.

Shiro wished he could relax, that he could enjoy what Dorian did, but he couldn't. He looked over Dorian's shoulder toward the kitchen. Dorian noticed it and moved away from Shiro. Just as he did, Finian and his two children walked in with blueberry cheesecake for dessert, and Shiro was once again filled with guilt. But he sucked it up, and the dinner continued in a warm, cosy feeling.

When they were all done, and it started to get late, Eamon and Caoimhe were excused. But before the kids went to their rooms, Finian told them to say goodbye to Shiro. Eamon gave Shiro a hug, which surprised Shiro but also made him very happy. And Caoimhe did a shy little wave goodbye with her hand before they kids kissed their parent's goodnight and left the room. Dorian offered to do the dishes and left Shiro alone with Finian.

The alpha and the omega continued with a cup of tea in the living room, sitting on the sofa, and Shiro couldn't even look at Finian. The red-haired man knew that something was up. Shiro glanced at him. He could barely keep in his tears.

"I'm so sorry about everything, Finian. I'm a coward. I avoided you because it was awkward. But I shouldn't have."

"You have nothing to apologize for. You've been nothing but considerate, but both you and Dorian are limiting yourself, and that won't do anyone any good. You miss Dorian as much as he misses you. Am I right?"

"He misses me?"

"Of course he does. You're his mate, his fated pair. He would never admit it to me, but I know. And it's wrong. You shouldn't be kept apart."

"So, what should we do?" Shiro asked, his voice filled with desperation.

"Well, I have suggested that Dorian spend some nights with you, but he refuses. But this can't go on. So how about he stays with you tonight?"

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I really am. Of course, I will miss Dorian, but it's necessary. You both will be unhappy if this continues."

So Finian and Shiro decided when Dorian would be with Shiro and which days he should be with Finian. Shiro didn't like the thought of doing this without Dorian knowing. But he didn't want to say anything about that to Finian, who Shiro thought surely knew what Dorian wanted.

Dorian came after a while into the living room with a cup of tea in his hand. The blond alpha stopped at the doorway, and he stared at the two men on the sofa. He smiled his bright, lovely smile, and Shiro thought that he had never seen Dorian looking so happy before.

"Come. We have decided on something," Finian said, waving with his hand.

Dorian's smile immediately disappeared, and he walked up to them, looking suspiciously at the two men on the sofa.

"What now?" He asked before he sat down in the armchair.

"You and Shiro need to spend more time together, so from now on, you will spend two nights at his place and two nights here."

Dorian stared at his husband and then at Shiro.

"What?"

"Yeah. You and I both know that you miss Shiro. You should be with him more," Finian said, and the tone of his voice showed that he didn't accept any objections.

Shiro couldn't look Dorian in the eyes, the man hated being in this situation, but to both, his and Finian's surprise didn't Dorian object or get angry. Shiro thought he looked sad instead.

"If that's what you want," he simply said.

"Not what I want, my love, but what you need," Finian said, but Dorian just shrugged and nodded.

"Sure."

It was Finian and Shiro who kept the conversation going for the rest of the evening. They talked about Ikumi, who was with Kei's parents and about Joy and Deion, who would come to London on Tuesday. Dorian didn't say much, and when the pregnant Finian yawned, Dorian looked at his husband with worry.

"You need to sleep, Finn."

Finian smiled at that and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm actually exhausted."

"Well, we better get going then," Dorian said, looking at Finian, as he wanted the man to say something specific to him.

But Finian didn't seem to notice, and he just stood up and stretched.

"I follow you to the door."

Finian walked in front of them, and as Dorian and Shiro put on their jackets, Finian watched them in silence, leaning against the wall, his arms around his waist.

Dorian opened the door while Finian and Shiro hugged.

"Thank you so much for coming!"

"Thank you so much for the invitation. It meant a lot to me," Shiro said, and he really meant it.

"Well, you're one of us now," Finian smiled and winked, making Shiro feel more at ease than he had in weeks.

"Please send me a text tomorrow when you have the time," Finian asked him, and Shiro promised to.

Then it was Dorian's turn to say farewell to his husband, and he embraced Finian.

"Are you sure about this?" Dorian asked with his face in the crock of Finian's neck.

"Yes, I really am," Finian wanted to reassure his husband, but his voice sounded weak.

"Well, if there's anything at all, you just call me at once!"

Finian kissed Dorian's cheek and smiled at him.

"Stop worrying and get going now!"

Dorian just kissed Finian's forehead and walked out the door, and as he did, Shiro saw Dorian's expression. The man looked like he was about to cry.

While they were walking to the car, Shiro turned around one last time and saw Finian looking at them. And even if the red-haired alpha tried to act calm, Shiro saw that he also had the same expression Dorian had on his face. Finian looked like he was close to bursting out in tears as well. But Dorian kept walking and Shiro after him. And the trip back to Shiro's apartment was spent in an uneasy silence. The black-haired man walked first into the flat, and as he heard the door close behind him, Shiro suddenly felt Dorian's arms around his shoulders. Dorian pulled him close and leaned his cheek against Shiro's.

"Just let me stay like this for a minute," Dorian asked.

Shiro didn't say anything. He was afraid his voice would fail him if he did. Shiro felt awful. Just being close like this to Dorian made him want more. He wanted Dorian to touch him, to feel his mate inside him. Still, Dorian was obviously sad, and that made Shiro feel like a perverted bastard. So he said nothing, and Dorian did nothing. He just held Shiro for a little while, and then let him go. The two walked into the apartment without saying a word, and they got ready for bed. Shiro was on edge the whole time, almost painfully aware of Dorian and everything the alpha did. When the blond man happened to touch the omega, he trembled and hoped for more, but nothing happened.

As they got into bed and turned out the light, Shiro's heart hammered excitedly in his chest. Dorian moved closer to the omega, put his arms around him, and kissed the top the omega's head.

"Goodnight," he said.

And that was all. Shiro waited, but nothing happened. And when he heard Dorian's breathing getting slower and louder, Shiro miserable realized that Dorian had fallen asleep.

Shiro didn't sleep that night.