"Just like the moon, you can be happy when you are incomplete and far from full."
I remember the words of my father while caressing his gravestone. He was a treasure full of kind and wise advises. He used to always make me believe in the brighter side of life. Though, I lived only few years with him but those years were treat to me from my incomplete life.
It's been a week since I have published the statement and release James from all accusations. He was already incomplete and fighting from despair and misery just because of me.
I know how it felt to miss the presence of someone who was once there with you. I lost everybody who was close to me. Be it mom, dad, Nate, my career, my friends and my happiness.
Everything in this world is temporary and our stay in this world is not permanent. So why to spend the whole life impressing those who won't stand a second chance with us?
"Dad, I'm going to start a new life from onwards." I placed flowers on his grave. "I want you to pray for me. You're near to God than me. You can talk to Him whenever you want. Kindly pray for my happiness." I took petals in between my fingers and felt it's smoothness.
I decided to leave this old life and start a new one. This was what I was thinking in my long stay in hospital. Emily was with me through out. She helped me in my painful days of treatment.
Nobody was letting me go out even today. But I had been yearning to go out to see my dad. So, I decided to come to see him. Emily dropped me here and she asked me to call her when I get free so she would pick me up.
"Dad, I will become the person that you always wanted me to be. I'll make you proud and will return here to tell you that I've accomplished my goal." I smiled with tears in my eyes.
I always used to come here and cry to him about the atrocities of the world but today I came here with a new spirit. Spirit of hope of doing something big and great.
"I know that you're not my dad." My breath hitched and I was unable to utter more. I hiccuped does few minutes and then composed myself. "But dad, you always treated me like your daughter. I don't know who's blood is running in my veins. I consider you and only you as my father." I cried and hugged his grave.
My dad is only Kevin Miller. I loved him more than I loved myself. He was always with me and supported me.
I've learned one more thing after my head was knocked out by James' car is that "this world doesn't lead you, you lead the world."
"I love you dad, I'll come soon. Do pray for your princess." I kissed his gravestone, smiled and wiped my tears.
I took the crutches because my leg was bandaged and I still needed support to be at my own. My head was also bandaged but still I didn't look horrible as I was looking few days before.
I turned and was shocked to see James standing few feets away from me with his hand on his jeans pocket. His shoulders were slumped and limply lean. His hair were not made and he was wearing a normal t-shirt and jeans. His shoes were having mud probably because he was walking on the graveyard. He was looking thin, pale and there were dark circles on his face.
His condition was vulnerable!
"James?" I said with questioning tone. "What are you going here?"
"I was coming here for few days and I came here to see your dad's grave. I saw you talking to him so I stopped." He explained with sweet and smooth voice.
James was coming to my dad's grave? Why? I was puzzled and I wanted answers.
"Why were you coming to my dad's grave?" I asked him.
"Uh- I don't know. I came to Eliza's grave and last time you told me that your dad's grave is also here— so I decided to pay him a visit." He stuttered but completed his sentence. He was very nervous in front of me.
How ironic was that the person who used to scare me and give chills to my bones was now uncomfortable against me?
"I hope you didn't mind." James stated seeing that I had not replied to him.
"Oh no, that's completely fine by me." I said and he gave a sigh of relief. It was getting weird to stand with him so o decided to take a leave.
"I should leave. Bye." I smiled and bid him bye. I moved forward with the help of crutches. I was about to take my farewell when he stopped me.
"Alice, wait." He stopped me. I turned around and looked at him to continue.
"Yes?" I said. We both were getting uncomfortable in each other's presence.
"Alice, I want to ask few questions from you. If I don't get their answers, I won't be able to take sigh of relief and peace. There is storm going on inside me." He said with pleading eyes. He was looking so miserable, depressed and downhearted.
I was feeling compassionate for his condition because few days back, I was in same condition and there was no one to help me or feel sympathy for me.
"You can ask me. What are those questions?" I asked him with normal and lighter tone.
"I read your statement, Alice. Why did you do that? You could have easily destroyed and devastated me. This was your golden chance. Why did you decide to safe me and my career from the wrath that I brought upon myself." He said with pleading eyes. He was desperate to know my reason and motive.
"I did this because, I'm embracing change, welcoming transformation and opening myself to a new way of being." I said with a content and satisfactory smile.
"We both have faced a lot, James. Don't you think that this is enough. We both are humans and have right over happiness and freedom. I, unintentionally destroyed your life. I killed Eliza in accident. Though it was purely unintentional, but still I stole your biggest source of happiness from you." I gave a sad smile. He was calmly listening to all my lines.
"For that accident, I payed a big punishment because I was indebted to you. My career and fame along with my self esteem and confidence was destroyed. Fuel to the fire was Nick who almost raped me. My mother also left me to rot in hell. My life was on stake." I told him with sad smile although my heart cracked at every word because every memory was dreadful for me to slice my heart into two.
"I knew you were a good human and you proved that by saving me from being raped. You were there for me when I needed a support. You saved me. You were my savior." I smiled at him to which he smiled too while tears were rolling down his cheeks.
"That's why I took off all the allegation form you and decided to save you from the wrath. I've been through this so I know how this feels. I thought that we both deserve happiness, don't we?" I smiled brightly at him. He nodded with a small smile. There was trace of peace and calmness on his face.
"You're very brave, Alice." He said after wiping his tears and smiled brightly at me.
"That I'm." I chuckled. He chuckled too and there was mischief on his face.
I realized that this was the first time he smiled and chuckled with me. He looked much younger and innocent while smiling happily. I smiled at him. He deserves all the happiness that was snatched from him because of me.
"From now on, some grieve on what is gone. Embrace the change and transformation. Don't just exist, but live your life, James. If this was written for you, then trust me life will give you something bigger than that is gone." I told him with pure heart to which he nodded.
I didn't know where it was coming from but it was straight from the depth of my heart. I wanted happiness for him for that he had suffered a lot.
"We didn't have proper introductions, shall we?" He asked me while giving me his hand to shake. I felt happiness to see this side of him. He looked rather easy to get mingle with. I felt comfortable around him. I couldn't believe that he was the same guy that I dreaded the most.
I gave him my hand. "Alice Miller, I'm a simple and ordinary girl with many dreams in heart." I said and grinned.
"Hello, Alice. I'm barrister, James Ashton." He smiled with big brown eyes which were beaming with pure bliss.
"It's good to meet you, barrister James." I chuckled and he smiled back.
We both went to Eliza's grave and I asked forgiveness from her again and bid her goodbye. I left flowers for her as James told me that she loved jasmine flowers.
"Okay then James, goodbye. I don't know when we will meet again. I wish you good luck for your life." I said and gave him a small smile.
"Good luck, Alice. Take care and be strong as you are. Don't let anyone dull the shine that comes from within you." He said with twinkle in his eyes.
I felt completely bliss when he said those words for me. I felt butterflies in my tummy. This was the most genuine wish and complement as well that someone had given me.
"One piece of advice for you as well, Make your heart the most beautiful thing about you." I uttered and smiled at him. He smiled back and nodded.
I called Emily and within 5 minutes, she came to pick me up and I bid farewell to James forever. My heart thumped loudly against my cage and my breath got abnormal. I didn't know what was it. But I didn't turn to look at James. I sat in car and left with one goal in my heart.
"Everyone has seen my descent, now watch my rising."