Kabanata 25
Goodbye
My hands are shaking while holding the card. I sat down and try to calm myself from the sudden news. Agad naman akong inabotan ng tubig ni Tita Analea at nagsimula na namang mamuo ang mga luha ko. My breathing becomes heavy as I tried to stop my forming tears.
How I wish I didn't bother myself to read the letter! Tanging nasambit ko sa isipan.
Masaya ako dahil alam kong buhay nga si Alec, at the same time ay nasasaktan ako. He's getting married!
Kinagabihan ay nanatili akong tahimik habang kumakain. Tita Analea and Tito Armando didn't say or ask anything about the letter, na ipinagpasalamat ko. I don't know how to answer those questions in my mind if ever they'll ask, how much more kung tanong mula sa mga taong pansamantalang kumupkop sa akin. Tanging ang masayang boses lang ni Aliza at ang mga sagot ng mga magulang nito ang namumutawi sa hapag kainan.
"Tita Captain, my friend's cousin is handsome and an architect. I will ask Tito Gian if he's single so I can recommend him to you," seryosong saad ni Iza sa akin. Agad napatikhim si Tita Analea dahil sa sinabi ni Iza.
"Sweetheart, you can't recommend anyone to a person who didn't meet yet. And your Tita Captain is busy," malambing na saad ni tita Analea sa anak.
"Tita Captain, I'll just show to Tito Gian your pics so you won't be disturb," sabay baling nito sa akin kaya nginitian ko ito, not minding what Iza's saying, I just nod.
Tita Analea looked at me apologitically, but I just shake my head and mouthed 'it's okay', assuring that it's all fine.
Natapos ang hapunan at agad na umakyat na si Iza sa kwarto nito para sa mga homework, kaya wala ng nangungulit sa akin ngayon. Bago umakyat ay nakipag-selfie pa ito para may ipapakita raw ito sa tito ng kaibigan. Napa-iling nalang ako sa kakulitan ni Iza, dahilan para mas lalo kong namimis si Davin. Mas bumigat ang pakiramdam ko dahil doon.
Kinabukasan, isang tawag ang pumukaw sa atensiyon ko habang nagkakape ako sa balkonahe ng aking inu-ukupang kwarto. An unregistered number flash in the phone that tita Analea gave me. I confusedly answer it without second thought.
"G-good morning, Captain Granada, speaking?" with my stuttering voice.
A minute had passed, but no one answered the phone, kaya ibababa ko na sana 'yon, pero bigla namang may nagsalita na sa kabilang linya.
"How are you, Maisha?"
Like an exploding bomb, my heart explodes undescribed feelings as I heard the familiar question of the man on the other line. I didn't know why hearing this words is like a knife, stabbing my heart, hurting me so much?
The tears that I expected to fall didn't come, it only stock in the corner of my eyes. It gives me more pain. I didn't stop myself from crying, but my eyes did it already. I don't need to force myself.
I think it's time to say goodbye. Not that I wanna do it, but it's all my choice. He's getting married, and I don't want to ruin what's with them.
Saka lang bumagsak ang luha ko nang pinatay ko ang tawag at tuluyan ng 'di narinig ang boses ni Alec. I chose to end the call without further ado. Ayaw ko nang marinig pa ang kung ano man ang sasabihin ni Alec. I am not ready for it. At para saan pa ba ang pagtawag nito? If he's getting married already?
I know this is it. This is the goodbye already. People don't know how painful it is to be left by someone who gave you so much memories to remember. But I rather keep it in myself than telling it to them, and receive their judgments and fake concerns.
It hurts. I started to fall for him, hard. Pero hanggang doon lang iyon.
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