"I'm sorry... it was too late.."
Your heart suddenly aches and you just stand there paralyzed, as if your brain isn't ready to accept the fact but your heart already has.
Behind you, Mrs Ong cries, loud, but you can't hear her. You can't even feel Taehyung holding onto your hand and trying to calm Mrs Ong down. All you can see is blur, caused by your tears. You stumble back and Taehyung holds your shoulders, making you sit on the chair.
He pulls out his phone and quickly calls the leader, explains the situation and asks him to send one of the members for comfort since it was something he wasn't really best at.
You stare at the wall in front of you, giving it such a gaze, which is so emotionless yet so full of sadness.
_
You get up and slowly walk to the room Seong-wu's body lays. You reach out for the handle, resisting, but slowly open the door.
You stroll to his bed and hold his hand, caressing it. His mother, Taehyung and Jimin walk into the room too, Jimin walking straight to you. You slowly lift your head, looking at him.
"Chim oppa... he's gone.. Woo is gone..."
You whisper, tears bursting out and he embraces you tightly. You didn't really cry in front of the members, only Jimin and Jungkook, if there was a big matter. Taehyung ends up crying when he sees you crying so it just made it worse for you, the fact that someone is shedding tears because of you. It breaks both Jimin's and Taehyung's heart to see you like this, but you couldn't hold it back this time. You put your arms around Jimin, who was hugging you, and sob on his shoulder.
"Y/N..."
He murmurs, sighing.
_
You were driving back home from your old best friends funeral. All you did was cry the full day, today. You had a photo shoot but the manager canceled it, understanding and told you that there's no need to be worrying about the schedule. The members were very bothered about you but you told them you were fine and told Jimin and Taehyung to go back to dorm. Were you fine? No. The doctors words spin in your head.
"๐๐ ๐๐ช๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค๐ฌ๐๐ง ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ฌ๐ฃ๐๐.. "
You get goosebumps and tears, once again, start to roll down your cheeks. "Its not safe to cry while driving" you told yourself again and again..
..๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ช๐ง ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต๐ฉ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ฆ... ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐'๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ... ๐ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ต...
You don't know if you'll be able to cook when you got home so you were going to get some food from outside.
_
Taehyung sits on the couch, his head down, not being able to forget how much you sobbed. He still thinks this happened because of him. He still doesn't know if the board thing was real. But if it was... that means Seong-wu died because of him. That means you cried because of him. He groans, rests his head back, but then his eye brows crash together. He had beed wondering something. Sitting up, He takes his phone out and goes on google. After typing something, he waits for response.
" ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐ก ๐ข๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ค๐ "๐๐ค๐ง๐ค ๐๐ค๐ช" ๐๐จ "๐๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐๐๐ฎ" ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ง๐๐๐ , ๐๐ฉ ๐๐จ ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ข ๐ค๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ง๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ฉ... "
๐๐บ- ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ...? ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฌ...? ๐๐ฐ... ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ช๐ณ๐ช๐ต ๐ข๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ฆ...?
He rubs the back of his neck.
Jin comes and sits next to Taehyung, who puts his phone down.
"How was Y/N...?"
Jin asks, concerned. Taehyung lightly shakes his head.
"I had never seen her cry like that before... she forced me and Jimin to come back saying she'll be fine... her tears didn't say the same..."
Jin sighs.
"Obviously she'll take it hard... still she's really strong... I wouldn't be able to take it if I found out that my best friend ended his life.. we.. we should plan something... that'll keep her mind off things for now..."
He suggests. Suga, Namjoon and Hobi walk into the living room.
"Jin Hyung is right... Y/N needs a break... I'm sure she'd do the same if one of us were having any kind of problems..."
Seconds Hobi before sighing.
"She's really hard working, which is good... but over working yourself.. that just isn't right..."
Says Namjoon and Yoongi nods, approvingly.
"If we're talking about taking her mind of things... then why don't we.. have like a.. movie night...?"
All heads turn to Yoongi and they all nod, agreeing.
_
Jimin sniffs, sitting on Jungkook's bed as Jungkook tried to comfort him.
"I just couldn't see her cry like that..."
Mutters Jimin, for the 100th time, now. Jungkook sighs, looking away.
"I hope she's okay..."
He whispers to himself.
"She should'nt cry like that.. it isn't good for her.."
Jimin says turning himself to Jungkook, who shakes his head.
"At times like this.. it's better to cry and take it off your chest, other than bottling up your feelings and keeping it in your heart... sooner or later... your heart will end up leaking.. your emotions will end up exploding... but then it would be too late and the burst would be a lot worser then how'd it be if you took it out in the first place... Y/N is someone who hides all her negative emotions just to look strong and so that they don't effect the people around her... She always drinks in her tears, anger, doubts, hopelessness... and stupid us... we always let her wounds camouflage under that one precious smileโ"
Jimin closes his ears, his tears falling out a lot faster now and he cuts Jungkook off.
"SHUT UP! PLEASE!"
He yells and Jungkook sits there rubbing his own forehead. Jimin shakes his head and whispers with a shaky voice.
"Don't tell me this... I feel guilty... I- I should've been there for her.."
Jungkook doesn't say anything because he too, inside, has a guilt.
That you are always there for him... but when it was his turn.. he isn't always there for you in return.
He looks down and his brain reminds him the times when he used to cry as a trainee and even though you were younger and the only girl, it being harder for you, you still gave him hope and wiped his tears, comforting him. Promising him that you guys will make it even though you yourself needed that hope.
After debut, when you used to be laying on the practice room floor, full of muscle pain, sweat, breathless... He used to be too busy learning his own choreography and used to leave you there to get things for himself.
He never did it intentionally, all the members were busy at that time, trying to make themselves perfect so their weaknesses doesn't effect the band.
Knowing that, not even once did you complain, understanding that everyone as their own problems. But you never showed anyone your problems.
When you fell, you used to get up by yourself, without asking for a helping hand.
Tears form in Jungkook's eyes and his throat tightens.
In front of his eyes comes everytime he left you alone to deal with his own things. And everytime you left your own things to deal and help him with his.
"Why are.. why are you crying..?"
Jimin asks turning his head to Jungkook when he hears sniffs.
"I-I need to apologise to Y/N..."
Jungkook answers and even though Jimin was confused, he didn't question him. They hear the front door closing and they both look at eachother.
"Y/N..."
They walk to the dining room where the other members were.
Where the other members were... except you. There was a big bag on the table that had each members favourite food in it.
"Y/N...?"
Jungkook asks but they only shrug.
"I think she left after putting the food here..."
Says Yoongi, uncertain. Namjoon glances at Jungkook and Jimin and squints his eyes.
"You guys.. have you been crying...? It'll be okay..."
Hobi goes from behind and gives them both a back hug, Ruffling their hair.
_
They were planning the movie night for you when they hear the entrance door open.
Jungkook gets up, running to you.
You were sitting on the floor, taking your shoes off when Jungkook stops, standing in front of you, you look up at him, smiling. But that smile breaks him into more smaller pieces.
You stand up and head for your room when he hugs you from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder. Holding his arms, that were around you, you sigh, resting the back of your head on his shoulder.
He then notices how your hands were shivering and so cold.
His cheek meets a wet drop and he realises it was a tear that fell from your eye.
Before he can say something, you remove his hands from you and start walking to your room.
"Are you not... going to eat with us..?"
He asks and you slightly shake your head, with your back towards him, sniffing.
"I'm- I'm not hungry..."