"Why did you do that?! Are you out of your mind?!"
I sighed and stared at the food with not much of an appetite. "I don't know." The memory from last night's party was so fresh, I can barely keep my mind straight. "I don't know why I did that to be honest. Like I wasn't myself." Hunter's face haunted me the whole night after the party. Like he was Freddie Crueger. "For some reason, I just started speaking up like I was scared – like there was another voice inside me speaking for me."
He stares at me in disbelief. "She's got into your head."
Who got into whose head? I squinted my eyes at Haechan unable to point out what he meant. My head felt so heavy, I didn't even have one drink from the party and it's already this bad. Then again, I wasn't able to sleep well so I guess that's a factor to my headache.
"She's got her demon stuff into your head!"
Meaning what exactly?
"You were never like this before you met that demon, Mark." I squeezed my eyes shut in irritation. Not this again. "You've changed so much and I'm not sure I'm liking this version of you." Why am I hot-tempered today? I'd usually laugh it off. Oh god. My head hurts. "I want the old silent and quiet Mark not this."
"You said you wanted me to change and now I did. I'm standing up for myself. I stood up for myself last night and it honestly felt good to be able to do that – to feel like you can be something more, you know. It's a very nice feeling." I stared at him hoping he'd understand my point.
He blinks upward as if he just realized something and I chuckled at how adorable my friend was. "Well I did say that but I meant for you to change in a good way and this is an example of a bad change."
I laughed harder this time. "You're giving statements that contradict your past words, Haechan. I'm not sure what to follow anymore. I'm confused."
"You're laughing? You're laughing?!" He exclaims in disbelief. "How can you laugh in a situation like this?!" He lifts a pointer in the air to emphasize that he was pertaining to someone. "That guy you messed with last night, when you decided to go into a party without me just to, quote, adapt to her environment," His eyes shifted upward then back to me. "—is an ex drug user who is, I quote, a friend of your so little demon friend."
"Forest said he's anything but close to her." I paused for a moment. Now that I think about it, Hunter talked as if he knew things about Forest – something about her past. My face scrunched into a frown. I wonder if she meant what she said when she told me he was anything but close to her.
"As if she's going to tell you any truth!" Haechan looks like he's about to explode – sort of like my mom when she finds out I'm doing something wrong and she's trying to tell me off. "The girl's a demon." He almost whispers. "All she does is lie."
I looked away. Maybe Forest and Hunter really were friends and she just happened to hate him that night so she turned against him.
"Forest. Hunter. Even their names go well together so they go well together!" Haechan exclaimed in a similar tone of when he finishes a puzzle or a riddle. "Both their names are bad news." He rolls his eyes. "Who comes up with those names?" He crosses his arms but I glared at him wriggling my brows teasingly.
Then I realized. I teasingly glared at Haechan with a sly grin. "You just said her name."
He furrows his brows. "W-What, no I didn't?"
"You did." I laughed. "You said, Forest, Hunter, even their names go well together. You said it!"
"I only said it to prove my point, that's that." He crosses his arms but I continue teasing him completely ignoring the fact that two minutes ago, my head was so painful. These are times when I really liked having Haechan by my side. He has such bright personality to go with his look.
"Are you jealous because they have better names than we do?" I studied his face and confirmed my hypothesis. Of course anyone would be envious when someone's name was better than theirs. Sure, I like my name but it's not as peculiar as theirs. It catches people's attention without trying so hard. It makes it easy for people to remember them.
"I love my name." He squints his eyes.
I chuckled but nodded my head only to not escalate this argument about names and whatnot. "Okay. Let's finish our meals and get changed for P.E before Mr. Pepsi comes at us again."
"Me? You're the one who started talking about your new demon friends!"
I burst into laughter. Every time he calls Forest a demon is pretty funny to me but not so much a few minutes ago. I might be suffering from disassociate personality disorder and I don't even know it. "You still got a lot on you tray! Hurry!" I exclaimed as I bite my last meat ball.
Physical Education class wasn't the best part of school. For some students it might be a piece of chicken they deal with once every week but for someone like Haechan and myself, it's a pretty touch class. We're not the weakest students but it's safe to say we're just as near their level. We slack off during weekends so it would be shocking if we're actually good in tracks and fields.
"I swear, if Pepsi makes us run for another lap, I'm gonna faint in the middle of the field and pretend I'm about to die so I don't have to deal with this stupid class anymore." Haechan says under his breath.
I let out a tired laugh feeling the sudden tightness all over my muscles down to my hamstrings. I try to catch my breath and say, "I can't say I don't agree."
"Okay! That's a wrap for today!"
The two of us crouched down panting real hard. My chest felt so heavy after the three laps we got for being two minutes late for his class. I feel like I might collapse from dizziness all of a sudden. I stepped back touching my head hoping it'd calm it and there was a brief moment where my vision started blurring. I shake my head to wake my brain up.
"You okay?" I hear Haechan ask which I immediately respond to with a nod.
"Yeah. I'm just a little dizzy, that's all." I heaved a sigh and tried slapping my face numerous times.
"Here," My dart to the bottle of water that had just appeared in front of me. "You can have it." I finally looked up and saw Connie in her blue and white cheerleader outfit. I looked at the bottle again unsure if I should be greedy and just take it for my benefit or if I should just go buy myself one and let her have it for the rest of the day. She seemed to notice my uncertainty because she grabs my hand to make me hold it. "Take it." I looked at her still catching my breath. "I have a spare in my bag."
"T-Thank you." I surrendered. I needed water as much as I hate to admit it and this is the closest I get to survival.
"I saw you guys from the bleachers and figured I should come by and say hi."
"With a bottle of water. How convenient." Haechan suddenly butts in. "Cheer practice?" He quickly diverts before everything becomes awkward and uncomfortable for the three of us. "I mean, you're in your uniform so I shouldn't even be asking, right?" At that, he lets out an awkward, most fakest laugh I've ever heard of him.
I almost choked after gulping an awful amount of water for Connie's bottle of water. The moment I brought the bottle down, I turned to Haechan with a questioning look. He should have just stayed quiet and let her walk away after handing me this but he kept talking which makes things more uncomfortable than it was a while ago. I return the cap back to the bottle as I watched Haechan and his sour expression upon realizing how awkward that just got.
"We're preparing for a number for the next soccer tournament." Connie explains either way, and smiles heartily. "I'll go ahead. I'll see you guys around."
"I'll just buy you a bottle of water next time. Thank you for this." I say which made her stop running away from us.
"No need."
When Connie was finally out of our sight, Haechan spoke. "I can assure you," He points a finger at me. "That no girl brings a spare water bottle in their bags unless they were told so."
"And I can assure you," I paused raising my brows at him. "That we're failing this class this semester."
"No really!" Haechan exclaims. He often defend his stands recently. Maybe it's what he gets from joining the debate club. "Girls don't like having heavy things in their bags. Connie, for one, isn't exactly the type who would carry as big as yours."
I laughed, nodding my head. "I suppose I owe her a thank you then for carrying such heavy rock under her bag."
"You sure do."
****
Where is she?
I looked around bumping into every person I came across with. If there was something I learned from attending parties for three times, it's that people don't care if you did something wrong. You can smash vases, dirty their carpets, paint their walls, steal things – you can basically do everything you want without getting in trouble. It appears this was a normal thing during parties.
I've already walked around for a few rounds to search for her, my head turning different directions but I still couldn't find her. I assume that by now, every loud house I see is a guarantee of me seeing Forest.
It's been my fifth time reaching the living area but I still couldn't get a glimpse of that red hair but all I saw was her half-shaved head friend whom I spoke to before about her.
I was hesitant to walk towards her and the guy that had his arms around her shoulder, his other hand caressing her thighs but I was dragged all the way there by my feet out of desperation. "Excuse me."
The two stopped giggling and flirting with each other. I feel like I might have interrupted something but it's a party – it's where you do things that are out of your mind.
The girl looked at me, eyes squinted at first unable to recognize my face but she snaps when she realized who I was. "You're that kid!"
I sighed in relief. "Yes, yes." I mumbled making sure I didn't look too happy that I saved myself from the embarrassment of talking to people that didn't really know me – then again, it's a party. No one cares if you know each other or not. "I… uh, actually came to see Fo—"
"Forest?" She laughs and stands up to walk closer to me. "You wouldn't want to mess with her today." She suddenly snakes her hand around my neck which sent shivers down my spine. I was so confused of what she was trying to do so I stepped back which made her smirk. "You see this?" She steps closer to me again and leans the side of her face close to mine. I noticed a reddish, bluish mark just beneath her jawline. "She fucking left that there with so much power – that bitch." She rolls her eyes and crossed her arms. "She's in her worse mood today. I suggest you lay low for now."
I gulped. I wasn't ready for anything like that.
She walks back to the couch, her man waiting for her return. "I'm doing you this favor kid. If you don't want to end up with a bruise like mine tonight, stay the fuck off her."
"Where is she though?"
"I don't know," the man tries to turn the girl's face over his direction but she refused and kept her attention towards me instead. "She didn't come here tonight. I told you. She's got her Satan mode on because of some shit from her fucked up life." I must have put her in a bad mood because she wasn't frowning this much until I came. "She's probably out there in the city breaking store windows for all I care!" Breaking store windows? Does she actually do that?
"May I ask where you last��" I stopped. The sight of Forest's friend making out with the man she was sitting with made my cheeks burn. They were so into kissing each other, they're almost getting each other naked. "Uhm," I cleared my throat, looking away in fluster. "I-I should—"
"Don't get your fucking milks on the couch Han!"
I turned to the brunette who yelled from the kitchen.
Forest's friend, who was Han, parts away from the man and glares at the brunette. "Fuck you! I'm gonna do what I fucking want!" she shouted back.
Han, was it. "Thank you." I say to Han before she starts making out with her boyfriend again. "Have a good night." Then I left the house.
So she's not here all along. I sighed. I guess every loud house isn't a guarantee of me meeting her after all.
I walk to the nearest bus station disappointed. I should have expected her to not be at every single party but that completely rejects Haechan's idea of her being at every party every night which is a good thing. I watched my footsteps as I walked as I try to organize my thoughts.
I almost fell down the ground shrieking when I heard the loud shattering of glass echoing through the silent night. My heart pounded as I frantically turn my head, searching for some kind of oblivious figure that could end my life but all I could see was the only bar that was open this time, just across the street I was taking.
Only the faint music coming from the bar was all I could hear and very minimal voices of people that probably came from it as well. The front window was broken and glass were shattered all over their sidewalk. All I could do was watch from a far until—
"You don't sell fucking gold! "
"Get a life!" I hear someone from inside the bar yell back.
That red hair.
"Your bar's the worse! You fucking dickhead! Fuck you!" She storms out of the bar, crosses the quiet street after raising a middle finger in the air. The angry man who stood by the bar's entrance slams the door as she walked away. "Fucking piece of shit."
I froze as I watched her walk my way without noticing that I was there. I can't believe I just saw that happen. I knew how different Forest's moral was but I didn't think she'd be like this towards a lot of people.
She's here. In front of me. What am I frozen for? I should be thankful that I'm seeing her after expecting to see her at the party a while ago.
I ran after her and stopped her by the shoulder.
She deliberately turns back to be, slapping my hand off yelling, "The fuck do you want from me?!"
I blinked. I was so scared right now. Her eyes never felt this terrifying – her presence never felt this intimidating. "It's late. Shouldn't you be going home?"
When she realized it was me in front of her, her expression soften. Her frown turns to a playful smirk and it didn't look right. She steps closer to me so I stay and wait for her. She smelled off. I didn't know if it was because she was in a bar with different people or it was just beer lingering her clothes.
"If it isn't Macky, here to make my night more miserable than it already is."
I couldn't even bring myself to speak. I have never seen her in a state like this. She was drunk and her face gives it away. Sober Forest would never wear this type of expression and if she did, I might have read her all wrong.
"And what the fuck are you doing here?" she pokes my shoulders making me step back, and she steps forward. "Are you here to piss me off too like how everyone's been really good at doing recently?"
"N-No. I was actua—"
"You were actually looking for me." She bobs her head sarcastically before rolling her eyes, face painted in clear disgust and expectation. "You never know when to give up, do you?"
I pressed my lips together and watch her fumble her way closer towards my direction. "Are you okay?"
"Oh please!" she slaps my chest as fell onto my arms. "People ask that even if they don't really fucking care!" She pushes me away and fumbles away pointing at different directions like a mad woman. "Why don't you walk away quietly and just leave, hm?"
I ran after her and thank goodness I did because she would have fell when she tripped on a rock and I wasn't there to grab her arm. "Be careful."
Her head twirls around with her droopy eyes. "How did you get here so fast?" she asks and pushes me away again. She continued walking so I followed her, worried every time she walked like she had two left feet.
She mumbled a lot of things that were inaudible and I trailed her tracks quietly. It was funny how much I was enjoying this despite knowing how terrible it was. I smiled as I watched her tip from one side to another countless times.
"Fucking bar tender. Fucking fucktard. Fucking bar. Fucking everyone. Fucking life!"
She suddenly stopped walking, her eyes fixated on a trashcan. She furrowed her brows. "Paul, you fucking bastard!" She kicks the trashcan so hard, it hurt my ears and the quiet street. "You think you're so cool? You think you're so smart! You're just as stupid as everyone in my class, you fucking asshole!"
Paul? I frowned. Is she calling random names out of anguish or was he someone she actually knew?
She continued walking. I checked my watch and it was already midnight. I wasn't used to staying up this late except when I need to do things for class but strange how I'm not getting sleepy from this – it's quite bizarre.
"Here you are!" she stops from her tracks again and this time, she pulls a vodka bottle out of her jacket. At the time, I wasn't too bothered by the fact that she was carrying a bottle inside her clothes all this time, I was too worried of her state. She squats down to lay the bottle down the ground. "This will be your new home. I'll come back for you okay? Stay put."
I almost chuckled at the sight of her petting the bottle like it was a dog.
When she stood, her body leaned back as her foot twist in an abnormal way. My eyes widened at what's about to happen so I ran towards her, extending my arms over her back in time before she hits the floor. I felt my knees sting as I slid over to catch her but she was all I cared about that time. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
Her eyes moved in a strange way. She hiccups between her drunk laughs. "That was close! I would have died!" She laughs harder.
I don't know if I should be glad that I'm seeing her laughing like this for the first time or if I should be worried that I was with a crazy girl who pets empty vodka bottles.
She lifts herself up from my arms and pulls my head close to her by my chin. "Wait," She creased her brows, turning my face into different sides as if she was searching for something. "Didn't I send you away already?! How are you here?" she squishes my face harder.
I chuckled unable to control myself anymore. This playful Forest wasn't so bad. People would say I'm making this up if I told them that Forest was making bad jokes and crazy actions – and laughing like a mad girl.
She removed her hands off my face and stands back up like a child who just learned how to crawl.
I stood as well and let out a thin smile. "You should go home, Forest. It's not safe for a girl to be lingering around here this late at night."
"Home?" She spaced out. "What is that?" she suddenly asks in a rather serious tone but then she bursts into laughter again. "You don't seriously think I'm telling you right? If I told you, you might be more bothersome than you already are."
This Forest surprisingly doesn't curse a lot compared to the sane one. Would it be bad to ask for her to stay this way even if it meant giving her beer to make her this drunk? "If you don't tell me, I don't have a choice but to bring you to my place." I shrugged. "There's no way I'm letting you wander here—"
She suddenly starts walking towards me with a smirk so I step back a little in anxiety.
"—alone in this—" My heart jumped when it hit the wall.
I looked at Forest in worry as she kept walking towards my direction with a seductive smirk. She stopped an inch away from my face and tilts her head, leaning closer than she already was. I gulped. I couldn't move.
"Now doesn't that sound fun?"
I froze. I literally froze. I didn't like what was happening right now but I wasn't doing anything to prevent something from happening either. I looked into her eyes worried of my hormones jumping into play. I didn't want to be advantageous of the situation – I am not that type of guy. Leaning this close… my eyes dart to her lips and my heart raced. I looked away before my temptation eats me up and I'm no longer a decent man.
"This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
I'm a guy and no guy would be able to control themselves if girls started acting like this especially when it's the girl you actually like. "Not when you're drunk." I look at her and she seemed unamused. I slid away from her and took a deep breath.
"Well, you're no fun." She says collapsing down the ground, leaning her head over the wall like she was about to sleep.
"Hey," I walk closer to her and gave her a small shake but she doesn't budge. She groans shoving my hands off. "Forest?" I called but she just sat there comfortably with her eyes closed.
I sighed. "Come on. Let's get you home." I pull her up from the ground and she was surprisingly a lot more light weight than I thought. She looked like she was about a hundred pounds heavy but she feels like a fifty pound. I always thought she'd be heavier because of her alcohol tolerance but I guess not.
"Wait. Is it night already? Shit." I hear her mumble as she falls down to my arms. I wrap her arms around my shoulders. "I can't be absent today. Fuck." Absent? I wrinkled my forehead in wonder. Absent where? I asked myself as I escort her all the way to the nearest bus stop. If I had my car, it would have been less problematic.
"Take me to bed! My head hurts…" she mumbles as she rests her head over my shoulder, her breaths tickling my neck as we continued to move.
Am I really taking her to my place? Am I allowed? But I don't know where she lives and she's not telling me anything. What should I do? Should I just leave her in the arms of the school authorities? But what if they take advantage of her there?
I sighed. "Forest?" I say but she was dozing off soundly.
For the past thirty minutes, I couldn't help but feel fascinated of how Forest was acting. I've never seen her like this and I'm partly glad that I got to bump my way into her before going home. I wouldn't ever have the chance to have her lay her head over my shoulder on a night bus or I wouldn't ever have the chance to hold her the way I have for the past minutes.
When we reached my condominium, I was still hesitant of whether or not I should push through this or not. I was afraid that her parents might look for her and I was afraid that if she wakes up tomorrow and finds out that I took her to my place that she'd end up hating me for the rest of her life. But I can't leave her outside nor can I force her to tell me where she lives.
"Getting in too late, Mr. Lee?"
I looked up and faked a chuckle facing Wayne, the night shift security standing by the lobby of the building. "I had to pick up this friend of mine. She's very wasted." I try not to lose her balance as I keep taking steps further away from him.
"Well, have a good night, sir." He smiles and salutes so I smiled back and returned his words.
The moment we reached my unit, my back never felt so relaxed as soon as I dropped Forest down my bed. I wasn't wrong when I chose my bed for giving me the sense of comfort I need after a long day. Forest turns around grabbing my other pillow and hugs them like a child.
I smiled. Who would have thought that I'd have Forest Young lying down my bed drunk? I chuckled at the thought.
I stepped out of my room stretching my arms in the air. My muscles never felt this sore. I opened my fridge to look for a snack I can eat so when I laid my eyes on the ice cream sandwich, I grabbed it and ate. After I finished eating it, I went back to my room and headed towards the wardrobe to find something I can change into.
When I got back from the shower, I looked over at Forest and found her cuddling with my comforter. I let out a small chuckle as I dried my hair with a towel.
Before I leave Forest in my room to sleep for the rest of the night, I sat by the edge of my bed to stare at her. I don't know when this was going to happen again so I wanted to remember every single detail of this moment.
"Forest?" I shake her a little by the shoulder. "Are you sleeping now?"
She turns away from me and mumbled inaudibly.
I sighed and stared at her for a brief moment slowly flashing a thin smile. I frowned when I realized she was still on her warm leather jacket. Should I take them off? Would it be inappropriate if I took it off without her consent? It's not like I'm going to remove all her clothes. It's just het jacket and I didn't want to let her sleep uncomfortably so I decided I would.
I slowly lifted her up to my arms to take her jacket off – one arm at a time. I was worried I might wake her up so I was very careful at taking one sleeve off. When I was successful at removing one sleeve, I was surprised when I saw bruise marks all over her arms. I immediately, slowly, took the other off and was more shocked when it was in the same state as the other.
Unconsciously, I ran my fingers over her terribly wounded arms. The way they felt under my skin, lumpy and rough, made my heart ache. How did this— I leaned closer to the scars unsure if I was even seeing things right because it was already almost one in the morning.
My heart pounded fast – it felt so heavy. There were straight cuts lined up over her wrist and bruises that looked like they were fresh and some healing ones. My fingers trembled as they brushed through her wrist that were full of cuts. I glanced at Forest with so much questions.
Before I wake her up, I lay her back to my bed, pulling my sheets up to her chest to keep her warm. Why does she have bruises like she just attempted to kill herself? Why are her arms covered with bruise marks that look this horrendous? Is this why she always wore her jacket?
****
The next morning when I woke up, Forest was still asleep. Seeing those scars all over her arms made me wonder what life she actually had. I stared at her crunching my forehead in curiosity. I sighed. I never felt this heavy hearted in the early morning. She just keeps surprising me.
Her eyes slowly opened and she frowns when the sun hits her face. Her head turned lightly to one side. When she turns her head to me, her brows creased. She looked at herself before turning her head into directions until she finds her jacket, sitting by my lounge chair.
She couldn't look at me in the eyes. She jumped off my bed without a word and walked straight to her jacket. She turned away from me as she puts them back on. She then bent down to wear her shoes and when she did, she was ready to leave without another word.
"I-I made breakfast."
She looks at me, her face stiff. "Are you happy now?" she suddenly asked. "Are you happy you got to see what I hide?" Her jaws tightened as she speak.
I shake my head unable to look into her eyes. "I didn't mean to—"
"Well now that you know, I hope you fucking leave me alone now." She rolls her eyes before she walked out of my bedroom door. I ran after her and she stops halfway out of my unit. "The next time you see me in a situation like that, just leave me be and don't get yourself involved with me ever again."