It's been a week.
Ever since I saw her get destroyed by the old man she called her father, I couldn't stay put knowing that what happened before could happen again and I wasn't going to watch helpless ever again. I mentally prepared myself to stand up for her for when it happens again. I knew I was ready to risk myself for the tortures I shall face upon getting myself involved with Forest.
For days, I followed Forest and her whereabouts. I was relieved to find her almost either smoking her cigar, at a bar, at a party, or she just vanishes and I never see her anymore. I've been preoccupied recently because of the sudden twist and turn of events and I feel guilty that every time I want to face her, I put up a fake face just so it could lessen her devastation. Talking to her about it would only make her angry and, well sad sort of, and I don't want that. I want her to know that not every place on this earth is full of angst and misery – she needed to at least have one place where it felt safe and happy.
"Let's go, Mark! The bus will be leaving. Come on!"
I turned and saw Haechan pulling his duffle bag with him. I looked at the bag I was carrying myself and followed him behind. We were going to a Hike-Camp activity today for our extra credentials. We aren't really doing anything this weekend so I guess it'd fine to do this except that I'll be missing out on what Forest does for the next two days – and two days is a lot to miss especially from her.
"I mean this is better than running five laps at the field, right?" Haechan mumbled as we stepped up to the bus.
I nodded as we scan the bus for two consecutive seats that we can take. When we did, we sat and fixed our self to prepare for a long ride. "Did you bring food? I forgot to stop by the convenient store last night."
He glares at me in disbelief. "You're lucky I figured you'd forget about food." He opens his bag and I sighed in delight the moment I see different food we can both enjoy during the ride.
The trip took two hours so when we reached the site, I was so relieved. The discomfort from sitting on the bus for two straight hours was horrible. I stretched my back in relaxation as I watched the other bus park right next to the one we just got off from.
Students I didn't know from other classes stepped out of the bus in excite. "I didn't think we'd be so many. How will Pepsi take care of all of us at one?" Haechan wonders as we continued watching the other students get off the other bus.
The moment that red hair hit the sunlight, I instantly felt the joy pouring out of my body as I watched Forest step out of the bus. I immediately smiled at the sight of her. It was almost impossible to even pray and expect her to be here but she's literally here. I stretch my neck as if it'd make her notice me so when she turns to my direction, I waved and smiled only to be greeted back with a frown. She looks away like I didn't exist.
I pouted and watched her walk away.
"Seriously? What is she doing here?"
I turned to Haechan who just came down from the bus after leaving his Airpods on the compartment. I did not reply anything out of disappointment. I know I annoy her a lot and she doesn't really like seeing me but at least she knows there's someone looking out for her whenever she feels lonely – that's a good thing right?
"For the first time, you're sad after seeing that demon. What a wonderful day." He plants an arm over my shoulder but I shuddered to shake them off me.
"Don't touch me!" I exclaimed and crossed my eyes.
"Okay. Geez." He surrenders his hands up in the air, a little taken aback by how I just reacted.
"Sorry," I say looking down in guilt. "Anyway, did you find it?" I ask instead and he shows me his pair victoriously.
"I mean, who would steal these? And it's not like they don't have it. Everyone has this." He rolls his eyes being the sassy man he had always been.
"Everyone, gather around! We will begin shortly."
"Even Pepsi looks like he���s in a good mood." Haechan whispers making me chuckle so I nudge him to make him stop before our teacher catches us making fun of him behind his back.
The whole time we were hiking, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Here I was, panting hard now when we haven't even reached half of the route and there she was, still hiking like she just took the first ten steps. I never knew Forest was into these kind of stuff. I never really saw her physically active like this – except when she's fighting of course.
By the time we reached half the route, I started feeling tired. Too tired to even lift my feet up to walk; too tired for my breathing to stabilize. I crouched, leaning against the railing and entrusting my whole weight to it.
"You okay?" Haechan asked and I feel his hand tapping my back. "Can you continue?"
I nodded and panted hard. I looked up to him with a weak smile. "Yeah, yeah. I just need to take a break for a while. Go ahead. I'll catch up with you guys." I said in between my breaths. I can even feel my heart beat pounding against my chest right now.
"Are you sure? I can stay here with you if you want. We can catch up with the others together after you catch your breath." His face was full of worry and I am grateful for his concern.
I shake my head. "No, no. Go ahead. I'll be fine."
"Okay then. Catch up okay?"
I nodded and he finally leaves.
When I calmed down a bit, I reached out for my bag to grab my bottle but when I pulled it up to drink, I only felt a small drop on my tongue. It didn't even reach my throat – it was just absorbed by my glands and it disappeared before I could even feel it. I frowned in frustration. I'm thirsty and there's no store here but down there and I'm not going to ran down to buy some water when I already reached this high. God. What do I do now?
I squeezed my eyes shut when my vision started getting blurry. As soon as I opened them back, I was surprised when I saw Forest standing across me with no hint of hardship on her face. I crouched a little in shock and saw her handing me a bottle of water. I was going back and forth with Forest and the bottle she was holding in front of me. I was just too conflicted but happy at the same time. "H-Hi." I mumbled awkwardly.
She suddenly pushed the bottle over my chest and before she could even let go of it, I catch it with my arms and turned to look at her in wonder but she already walked away without a single word.
"T-Thank you!"
But she ignored me and kept walking so I watched her hike up with her hair pulled up in a bun. She never looked more beautiful than today. I smiled and held the bottle tight in my hands. She acts so cold but she cares deep inside for other people.
Finally, after about twelve hours or trying to beat this mountain, we reached the camp site and I had no regrets. This place is the fantasy that every person would wish to experience. You can see the whole city from up here – the ambiance never felt so relaxing, the silent environment never felt soothing, and the fact that Forest is here too makes this trip a lot better – more complete.
The first night of the camp, our teacher insisted we should rest and sleep early for tomorrow's activities and it wasn't really a hard task to follow considering that climbing up is a very tiring mission for slackers like us.
"Wake up, sleepyhead. Pepsi says to be ready in five minutes and you still have to wait in line for the shower stall."
I groaned pulling my sheets to my face.
He pulls the sheets off me so I frown, my eyes squinting at the sudden bright light hitting my sight. "There's literally ten more people waiting in line. If you don't get up now, you can kiss PE goodbye." Haechan and I share the same tent and we dozed right off the moment we set it up last night.
I displeasingly rose from my sleeping bag.
He was sending me an irritated glare so I stay there teasingly for the sake of early morning entertainment. "Are you serious?" He grabs the pillow I hugged and threw it my direction. ���Get your sticking butt off the tent now, Mark Lee!"
I chuckled, satisfied of my attempt to annoy him for entertainment. "I'm up, I'm up."
Like Haechan said, the line to the shower stall was pretty long – but not as long as ten people ahead, there were five people before I get to take my turn and Mr. Hannes, our instructor in Physical Education which we often call Pepsi because of his unhealthy addiction to the drink, was already getting more and more impatient with calling everyone to gather up faster.
I turned to look around as I waited and smiled when I saw Forest and her damped hair brushed over to one side. She looks up to me and I raised a hand to acknowledge her presence.
She rolls her eyes and proceeds to walk away. She surprisingly complimented well with the nature and maybe her name is a factor to that. She was made to blend beautifully with the trees and the environment.
"Today, we were given the opportunity to experience the camp's infamous obstacle course known for where military students train for the outside world!"
The obstacle course was as terrible as it sounded.
For the entire day, all we did was the obstacle course which surprisingly made me laugh a lot, watching Haechan miserably failing at every course. Forest however, was nailing it like she's been here – she jumped from here to there, slid from there to here, crawled down here to there. It was hard to imagine she'd do so well with her lousy huge joggers and her thick-looking sweatshirt. She was a natural.
"Everyone, shower up and come back here for an important announcement," Mr. Hannes exclaims in between his breath. He, most of the time, was just looking out for us but he was running with us all throughout.
It was tiring alright and my muscles are in deep sore after all the running and jumping. When I finished taking a bath, Haechan already had his sleeping bag set for another good sleep.
"You're sleeping already?" I asked as I stepped inside the tent rubbing my towel over my head.
He looks up to me with a frown. "Hey, you're going to get our tents wet!" he exclaims and I chuckle. "Look at this!" He twists his upper body to show me his back as he pulled down his shirt. "It hurts like Jesus take the wheel!"
There was a good size of discolored bruised by his lower neck line and I almost felt bad for laughing at him every time he fell. "You should get some ice for that." I say in worry.
He sighs. "I swear to God, that man thinks he's handling the military kids." He points a finger to his back as if Mr. Hannes was there. "Do we look like we can jump from one building to another?! Who the heck does that?!"
"Come on. He's already yelling for everyone to gather around the center when I passed by."
Haechan and I walked to the center main of our camping site and saw just about half of the population of the students that came forth this activity. Forest still wasn't here and I wasn't going to go look for her in case she was changing or something so I just remained patient and waited for her to arrive.
When everyone seemed to be gathered around Mr. Hannes already, he claps his hands to catch our attention. "Since this is our last night, I figured we should have a small party!"
At first, the students didn't know how to react.
"With a little bit of alcohol, of course!" The students cheered in excite as Mr. Hannes pulled out a cooler from his trunk. It was very rare for teachers to be hosting parties especially with alcohol but I guess it's fine since we're outside school grounds.
I turned to Haechan who looked sort of amused and confused at the same time. "You think Pepsi keeps a juice in his cooler?" I laughed at that, shaking my head in disbelief.
"Probably not." I answered and he shrugs.
"Well, no alcohol for me then." He sighs and stands up from the log we were sitting on. "But I'd kill for some s'more though!" He ran to where the biscuits and chocolates were and I chuckle watching him run like a kid.
I glanced to where I last saw Forest and she wasn't there anymore. I stood creasing my brows, turning to different directions looking for her. It was too dark to find her red hair so I decided I'd start roaming around to find her but still, there was no sign of Forest. Haechan already position himself close to the fireplace that Mr. Hannes just started, ready to s'more.
I've been looking around for about thirty minutes by now but I still couldn't find her. I went back to our tent looking my phone which I apparently left behind without noticing and I'm glad I did, because from a distance, I can see a figure that I was too sure I knew who.
I walked closer to the figure and it makes more sense. It was Forest – no doubt. I've searched from in the camping main for rounds and she wasn't there so it had to be her. If it wasn't, I'd be more surprised.
But as I was walking towards her, I couldn't rush and run towards her like I normally would. From a distance I could hear soft sobs and I watched her shoulders move slightly up and down. Is she crying? I ask myself which had an obvious answer.
"Hello?" I softly mumbled as I was fewer steps away from reaching her.
I'd guess now that she was cramming to hide her tears but it was too late – I've already seen what terrible life she had for the past days of stalking her and I am in no place to judge her otherwise for the pains she have experienced – she deserves to cry a river for everything she had been through.
She finally turns and I couldn't tell if her eyes were red from crying because of the small amount of light we're receiving from the trail's street lights. "What?" She asks and I can hear a small hint of I-just-cried tone from her voice but I don't say anything.
"You're the last person I imagined to be so far away from a party." I try to chuckle as I made my way closer to her. I promised myself I won't cross the boundaries I think she's allergic to so I try to divert her misery.
"Just because you see me in parties, doesn't mean I enjoy being there." There was something in her voice that felt different. In some way, they sounded less aggressive and a lot calmer than normal. I like to believe that I'm starting to make her feel less comfortable around me but only she will be able to give me an answer to that.
"I really don't enjoy them either." I sat next to her by the log. "They're making s'mores though so I might have some for myself later."
"Of course you like fucking s'mores, you're just as normal as every kid in the town." Her nose was obviously runny due to her crying but I try not to get too bothered by it. I didn't want to freak her out.
I laughed. "S'more is great, by the way. They're not meant to be enjoyed by kids alone."
"Whatever you say."
At that, we fell silent over again. I liked talking to Forest no matter how small her replies were – I still enjoy talking to her so when she wasn't talking, I felt the need to keep making her talk. That way, she can somehow be free from her thoughts. "It's dark in here," I look around a little terrified that a ghost might appear somewhere. "Aren't you scared?"
"Only losers get scared in the dark."
Loser? I gulped. "Right?" I scoff nervously. "Only losers believe in ghosts." I faked a laugh.
"Yeah, like you."
"Who, me?" I sneered. "No way!"
"Say that to yourself, loser."
I sighed in defeat, turning my head towards her. I couldn't make out of her face in the dark but I still admired her regardless the amount of light needed to see her. "Are you happy right now?"
"Right now with you?" I blink my eyes, cheeks burning. "No."
I don't know whether that makes me happy or not because I wasn't even trying to ask her if she was happy with me so I chuckled and say, "No, I meant life – your life."
I hear her sigh. "Are people ever contented with their lives?"
I bobbed my head in agreement. "I guess not."
"People will never be happy unless they're contented and no one's ever contented so fuck happiness." She throws something that makes a small sound – maybe a rock.
"Then," I started unsure if I was willing to risk asking the question. "What makes you happy?"
She doesn't answer.
I looked away in dismay as soon as I realized she wasn't going to answer my question any time soon but I smiled. The small moments and the biggest moments I can keep of her.
"Hope."
I froze. I felt my heart pounding as I turned back to Forest in surprise. I've never heard her voice sound so… weak. My lips were slowly curving to a smile until she slaps my face with her hands. It wasn't a slap-slap. It was more of a push so it didn't feel painful at all. "And that's what for exactly?"
"For all the annoying things you've done so far." She replies in a tone as if I was supposed to know.
I chuckled. "It's not going to stop me from annoying you still in case you're wondering." I squinting my eyes so much so I could at least catch a glimpse of her face but the light was too dim.
"I'm not,"
I pressed my lips together. "Because thinking is even tiring for you now?" I attempt to tease but she doesn't laugh or wheeze or any form of chuckle that would hint that it was a funny joke which to me, in my head, sounded pretty funny. "Aren't you going to the party?" I emphasized sarcastically. She wasn't used to legal parties and maybe that's why she didn't want to be a part of it.
"That's nowhere near a party."
I figured.
"Mark Lee!"
My eyes widened, flustered by my name being called in the middle of my first civil conversation with Forest.
"Mark Lee, where are you?!"
"Your boyfriend's looking for you, you should go."
B-Boy— "Haechan's not my boyfriend." I feel a lump down my throat as I replied. "He's my best friend like how you are with Han."
"Han's not my fucking friend."
"Girlfriend then,"
Her head turns toward my direction.
"At least now you know how that feels." It was weird to hear someone say you're lovers with people you're very close to. It's the same clench-feeling when siblings admit they like each other as opposites.
"MARK LEE, ARE YOU DEAD?!"
God, Haechan. I shake my head in shame for the things he's yelling – I felt so mad at him for taking this one chance I had to properly converse with her. Haechan really knows when to ruin my moments.
"Well your boyfriend thinks you're dead now so you might want to rethink your priorities in life, Marvin."
I turned to her pouting. "He's literally calling out my name."
"MAAAARK!"
"Coming!" I finally yelled back so he can stop shouting. I turned back to Forest one last time with a sigh, hoping I get to talk more with her like this more often. I gently dropped my only hanky towards Forest's lap and said, "You threw my jacket back once, I hope you don't throw my handkerchief back this time. Have a good night, Forest."
Monday never felt so tiring.
Yesterday's Hike-Camp activity almost killed me. I'd say I regret going for it but I can't because I had my moments with Forest that only occurred once in a blue moon and moments with Forest won't ever be regretful days.
Forest is getting more and more interesting. I'm so eager to find out everything she has to hide but at the same time, I don't want to be too eager enough for her to despise and hate on me more than she already does. A part of me is scared of knowing her past – scared that I'd learn about it, be involved in it, and absolutely do nothing about it. It's the worse feeling.
I sighed and leaned my back to the chair, rubbing my temples to ease the migraine. "Good morning, Mark." I turned to my side and saw Connie with a bright smile on her face.
I smiled back out of respect. "Hey Connie," I didn't want to talk to her. Every moment with her is a strong feeling of discomfort – it's mean and rude, I feel sorry for even feeling this way towards her.
"You looked pale. Are you okay? Are you sick?" When she leaned forward, I crouched away in surprise so I try to chuckle to mask my tensed nerves.
"No," I couldn't even look at her because I felt so uncomfortable. The way she looked at me is far too strange for me to handle. "We all get our fair share of problems, right?"
She chuckled. "You're right." She sits back down her chair and fortunately, she doesn't notice how uneasy I was acting around her recently.
"You don't take this class though," I frowned in confusion. "What are you doing here?" I didn't mean to make it sound like I was brushing her off but it kind of got off that way.
"I was going to the nurse's office then I saw you so,"
"Ah," I bobbed my head unimpressed. I didn't want to prolong this conversation any longer but that's not because I don't like her, I just don't like spending time with other people when I know I can spend them on learning Forest. I looked away and realized how insensitive that just sounded. Imagine if I actually said that in front of Connie – terrible.
"You don't look fine."
I turned back to Connie as she spoke. "What do you mean? I never felt better." I smile forcedly.
"I mean, spiritually," I gulped. "I can feel it."
I was speechless. I didn't know what else to say so I stood and said, "I have to go somewhere Connie. I'll see you around, okay?" I quickly turned away and not looked back. I didn't want to look back and see her face and feel guilty after doing that to someone who's nothing but nice to me. But I need to find Forest. I don't think I can stay still until I figure out why she's being – Forest.
I just ditched a potentially good future partner for a girl who couldn't even see my worth. Wise choice.
"Forest." I mumbled the moment I saw her about to leave the gate. I ran my way there, worried at every step I took that I might not catch her, and followed her like the normal creepy stalker I've been for the past few days. I almost memorized her routes for following her this long but today, I wasn't sure where she was heading because she's taking a different path – a path she doesn't usually take over the course of the week.
The closer she was about to reach her destination, the more I grew curious. What would she be doing in a very small clinic? Hideous, even. Is she sick?
She enters the entrance calmly and I was left wondering over again. Every time I convinced myself that I'm slowly finishing her mystery, she becomes mysterious all over again. What in the world are you really going through Forest Young?