"So," Sora began as we all sat at a table in the Inn.
The Inn's serve as both a place to sleep and a place to eat. On top of that the one we were at was fairly nice. The floor was smooth brown wood and the tables matched the dimly lit room. The walls had paintings of everything you could name, and red banners were strung on every wall, marking the Inn with its brand.
It's said the Inn was kept at a dim lighting due to the adventurers. It's said that it helps their eyes after being out in the sun to much or being in a dark cave or dungeon. Or that's what Sora said.
"We've been doing non-stop questing, and our levels have increased a fair amount. I'd dare say that we could tackle any B rank quest without any trouble. Right, guys?"
Han and Rubellia both cheered in agreement, I stayed silent, not really agreeing with that but not voicing my opinions. Opinions were the worst thing to state, especially when yours is the opposite of everyone else's.
"Come on, Kichirou," Han slapped my shoulder.
Damn, watch your strength. That kinda hurt.
"I know you agree that we've gotten stronger, not just as individuals, but as a party." All their eyes rested on me, making me feel uneasy. The best way to get out of situations like this was to just go with the flow.
The sooner you agreed with the motion things were moving, the attention would faster be gone from you. Even if you have your disagreements with what's being said, you say nothing. Because if you bring life to your disagreements, then you cast more attention to yourself.
"Yeah, that's true," I replied uninterestedly.
I wasn't lying. He said that we had all grown, and we had. But I wasn't stating my opinion on the matter of the taking on any B ran quest with no trouble thing. That was complete crap.
Sora clapped her hands like a child that just got a new toy. "See! That's why I think we should all try our hands at our first dungeon."
"Wait, what?" Rubellia said in shock. "A dungeon? But...but those are hard!" It was obvious she was nervous. "I heard that adventurers die doing them."
I narrowed my eyes at her statement. Until now, I'd had my elbow resting on the table with my chin in my hand. What Rubellia just said struck me as odd.
We had just spoken about how we've all grown since we first met. So what she just said was invalid. Sure, people do die in dungeons. But that couldn't be the root of the problem. No, I saw the true roots. She had been doing quests, all of us had, that put our lives in danger, but she never once hesitated until now.
Sora and Han looked down in agreement. It was obvious Rubellia's hesitation spread to them. I wasn't the first person you'd choose to cheer people up, but it pissed me off at how easily they wavered when death was spoken of.
I decided I couldn't keep my mouth shut.
"Adventurers die from doing normal quests," I looked at them all as I spoke to strengthen the weight of what I was about to say. "Ya'll nearly died on that quest when I first met y'all. And all the quests we did after that had a chance of death. It's obvious that's not what you're worried about." I took my hand off my chin and rested it flatly on the table. "Sure, you are scared of death, we all are. But you knew you were taking that risk when you became an adventurer, so you accepted death as a possibility. Death isn't what's holding you back right now, no. It's your lack of belief."
"H-huh?! What are you talking about?" Rubellia retaliated. "I've heard stores of entire parties dying. So of course death holds me back from charging in there. Besides, what is it that I don't have belief in?"
"Yourself," I said. "Or rather, your skills. You don't have belief in your skills as an adventurer. You feel like you aren't good enough. Well let me tell you, you aren't." Her eyes shot wide and they began to tear up.
"K-Kichirou...That's a bit mean." Han said as Sora patted Rubellia's back soothingly.
"It's true though. But let me tell you this. You aren't good enough compared to the next person, just as much as that person isn't good enough compared to the next." That's what I believe. You can't just downgrade yourself because you feel someone is better than you. You have to accept that you have flaws just as much as the next person. Like I accepted that I was a loner and shut myself away from the world, embracing who I truly was.
"There will always be someone better than you, someone more suited for the task. But you can't let that affect your actions or decisions. Just because you feel you aren't good enough compared to the mass doesn't mean you have the right to give up. You need to stop having so many expectations for yourself. You'll just wind up hurting yourself and others with them."
Expectations are the worst thing to have, weather you set them on yourself or someone put them on you. They're like a constant reminder that you can do better.
But what happens when they're set to high and you can no longer reach them? It's a constant reminder of your short comings. That's why I never had expectations for anything. They just lead to disappointment and are a sign that you aren't good enough.
There's a huge difference between you'll do better on the next test. And I expect you to do better on the next test.
The first reassures the person that they may just not have been in the right of mind, that they are good enough but just made a fluke. The second is like telling that person they aren't good enough, or rather, that they weren't good enough, and that they should have tried harder.
But what if they had tried their best and that's just what they got? You just make them feel even more disappointed in themselves. Make them feel like they're best isn't good enough. Especially when you tell them that they didn't try their hardest when they know damn well they gave it their all.
I was a gamer, and if someone who was stronger than me appeared, I worked my ass off to surpass them, and eventually I did just that. I didn't give up, but I didn't expect to surpass them either. I didn't expect it because I knew I would. That's the type of mind set you should have.
"Well...when you put it that way," Rubellia looked at her feet.
"He's right," Han said, agreeing with me as he continued. "If we keep comparing ourselves to the stronger people, then we'll never have any confidence to do anything new and to push ourselves to do better."
"But...if we can't compare ourselves to others, who are we supposed to compare our self to in order to know we're making progress." It was a simple question, yet none of them had the answer. Guess I had to chime in again.
"Your old selves," I said.
"Oh!" Sora clapped her hands. "That's right! If we look at how we used to be compared to now, we're much stronger." Good, she understood.
Guess she can be smart sometimes.
For a second there I was worried I'd have to elaborate.
I listened as they all spoke amongst each other, but I soon began thinking.
Like what if I woke up one day and I was back in the real world? In this world I'm actually a somebody. Not that being a nobody upset me. It really didn't.
I thought about all the time we've spent together and conversations we've had. I wouldn't call what we have friendship, but it was nice.
As It thought about this, a smile creeped up on my lips and squeals came from the girls as I suddenly found myself in a hug. "Huh?!" I was stuck between the two of them.
"Aw, you're smiling," Sora said as she pressed herself closer to me.
H-Hey! Your breasts, they're pressing on my face!
"I knew you liked us." Rubellia also pressed herself closer to me as she squirmed in excitement over an expression they've never seen earnestly.
It's not like that! And don't squirm like that!
Han smiled at me and nodded.
Did he just wink?