my eyes wided
. i fall down from bed in shok. and again get on bed surching for that fake jerk who was vanished like thin air he wasn't fake person...nor kai too..it was something i don't know what was that but i was shoked
here...
kai:( i was sleeping on the sofa in peace...feeling her warmth and feeling how it felt lying on her lap. and i really fell asleep but at midnight i felt pain in my back and sharp pain like something was stabbed i got up looking around nothing. i look up at my room? i try to feel fake dummy in her room. i don't feel her touch nor i feel i am in that room. i furrow brow getting up from sofa climbing stairs about to open door but suddenly door opened and she run to me hugging me tight i stumble a little bit i manage to stand (my cheeks turn red) she clinch on my shirt burrying her head on chest. i caresses her hairs to clam.
me:w-what happen?
she:there- his gone (clinch on shirt more) how i ahh (crying hard ) i look around and saw a piece of sharp thing on bed that dummy was vanished and she was crying mess. waist did she try to kill that dummy? i look down at her confused. but she loves him why would she try to hurt him? (i can understand she can't even tell me what happen. i close eyes want to clam her i take her on sofa down in living room. give her water. she has stop crying. but scared. i slowly pull her in hug saying am here don't worry it must be just nightmare shh..she clam nodding. is she trying to love me? trying to forget him? she must be losing hope to meet him again soon she will accept me.
i was in thoughts but then I snapped back in reality just to notice she was clmibing stairs.
i start walk behind her but she stopped turning to me.
she: i want to stay alone. can you sleep on the couch today?
i turn back staring at the couch and then towards her
me:i thought you need my presence to hold the cause of the nightmare
she: no. i don't need. even if i need i- (pause staring at him) i will call you.
me: as your wish. am happy you are trying. am down. if you want you can call me. she nodded closing door.
here....
as i come inside he pins me to the wall to quit burning eyes.(as in the shape of his shoulders
me:(wisper) just to save you.
he nodded but hiss in pain.
i look up at him ..and push his caller...saw wound on shoulder. like someone steb him on shoulder.
me:h-how? who?
he: kai. same just to save you.
me: don't hurt yourself for me am not that worthy for this much love, i don't desurve this i know i am paying for sins which i don't even remember
he:(shh)(put fingure on lips) you are mine. i will do whatever it takes. you are worthy of everything good and i will prove it anyhow
me: rest now (cupped cheek he nodded ) (and my eyes wided when he pull me on bed slowly hug me slowly staring at me.
me:i said rest.
he nodded closing eyes but clinch his grip on my wrist
he:you will not leave me when i fall a sleep. you are not going to disappar away from me. it's not dream right?
me:(kiss his forehead ) is it?
he:(sleepy) n-no! am not going to sleep. you will disappar i will not
me:then let me sleep.
he: ah i can't understand what should I do?
me:nothing just close eyes and trust me
he:(nodded slowly closing eyes)
as he sleep i start healing his wound
what i done? so you come into my life. you are absolutely perfect, why are you loving someone like me? and that is also much that i never imagined in dreams too. tell me what is good to have a kind heart and pure soul inside when nothing in me which is beautiful about me outside..... such an imperfect art of god.
Every time I see you i-i can't help but think that do i really desurve to stand beside you? we are just diffrent sides of one coin. (slap his cheek very lightly) who treat their be-puppet like this hum jerk? tell me you are just playing and leaving before i feel too greedy to hold you with me even if you want i won't let you go even in end i break down my heart is turning selfish when it's come to you.
it's first time
i want someone to stay in my life,
hold on my hand
no matter how big storm is.
have i found one for me?
or its just illusion i see
am too scared of love
trying my best to cure.
everything hurt everyone leave
why are you still here with me?
am i that worthy of love?
you're the dream and am nightmare
do i desurve this much care?
one thing i only wish i can say
hold on me don't let me runaway
i wanna stay feel to be loved
am just blinded by your trace
now i never can love someone else.
(wipe tears)
i getup slowly while carefully removing his hand and my eyes fell on ring in his hand.
and then mine too...those fake rings! why we are still wearing them? i slowly turn facing him staring at his sleeping face i close eyes quickly drifting to sleep.
here...
he:(i was so sleepy when she tell me to take rest. her closeness. her presence giving me peace i was desperate for. (my solution of every problem, my peace, my last puzzle piece , my home this angel/goddess is mine. she can't be human ...i saw them they are crule they are bad but you are different from them. maybe we are alians. she was again looking down herself she is strong but sacred
i never met women like you in my kife, i might had seen beautiful women's and some are kind too but you!? i never met women like you...i swear i never. you are enough for me i don't expect more from you. you have every quality of people i love so much in my life. you are the only one who can complete me. my inspiration when i feel weak. make me better from myself. just once see yourself from my eyes. i know you are insecure for the way you are physically but just because value by wrong people don't worth you down...you don't even know how precious you are for me..you are not just my life and you never can be cause you become my breaths, i can sturve, i can bare pobarty but loosing you is as similar as dieing for me while gasping for air.
( i fall a sleep while hearing her)
as i getup i saw Lisa front of me
Lisa: why you wakeup?
me:why am here back? (clinch fist in anger and sadness )
he:i don't wakeup, i was sleeping there damn how come am here!