me: it was and will never can be. i never wanted to hurt you in any way.
he:(eyes turn again rangeful but pain in them and hate too)
he: BUT STILL YOU DONE THIS! NOW BETTER FACE THE CONSEQUENCE FOR SIN. suddenly he pick me and put me on bed. i close eyes put hands on chest griping his shirt tight. before he relay to push him
me: no please but i don't feel any force i open eyes and saw him string at me continuously maybe trying to understand my actions.
( i quickly head down. taking back my hand from chest )(his eyes have more pain then before his voice was lowered now cracking a bit)
he:(with shaky voice trying to hold tears)
he:a-am i this b-bad in your eyes
i pause staring in his eyes pain only pain.
he: you think i will force you hurt you physically even after knowing you are scared of this. you don't even trust me for once, do you? leave it .
me:(i bite lips not able to utter word)
he: do you even know how i feel whole this week? you don't know right?
me: i can feel you. you must be hurt. am sorry.
he: i don't even know what to do. shall i be happy cause it was lie or should I be hurt cause you done this. i-i cant make you understand how i was dieing with every moment in thoughts. you are this heartless i never know.
me: heartless? that's what you thought of me too? yah i must be heartless you all make this little thing inside me heartless that its not able anymore to listen anyone's screams even who want to save me. but even after its alive and still you calling it heartless. if protecting myself is heartless then yes i am.
hey let me leave. i don't want to be reason of your pain to hurt you.
he:(sad chukle) still want to hurt me. you don't feel pain anymore. how you gonna understand me how i was been through whole week.
i try to move but he hug me more climbing bed with pushing both towards pillows hugging me more tight lye.
i try to release hug but he don't let me.
he just close eyes let tears escape from eyes scilent. crying heavy after moments i feel he fall a sleep i try to broke hug but this boy don't let me. he was mumbling something in sleep. i wasn't able to hear clearly.
i know i hurt you without even knowing. but look at this it only make me know how much you love me. you don't know you already win this cup of mine. its yours. finally i have shoulder to relay. (smile) but i havr habit to hold back from emotions
call me heartless and what said i don't feel pain but to only meet you i have broke down every moment. it hurts still thinking of my past. it hurts thinking my future. all it was pain in every moment
you don't know to got you i have connect every moment and moment by breaths in threads of hope. but somewhere i know i did wrong an this broke down darkness was not enough for me.
i still want pain and darkness they are familiar to me. cause i want to light up your world and for that this candle need to burn in darkness.
but though it's not working,is it?
i don't want you in darkness like me. let me lighten up your world. am sorry.
i kiss his forehead closing eyes
after sometime....
i wakeup and saw him nowhere. i getup but i don't know how to face others. ah am not going down. i grab my phone. a click sound happen i look side and saw him he come inside but don't even glace at me and grab for what he come and leave. i lye down on bed. don't know how to face others but i should face. lets be brave
after sometime it was dinner time. i come down to dinner. he wasn't here for dinner but others are. i take plate and sit. umm seems shubhu cook today.
me: i start eating everyone was staring at me.
were they stop eating which hurt me a little. i mean all were eating in peace and as i come they stop eating. which bother me a bit. so i getup.
me: am sorry. eat well. i leave from there get back in room. locking behind. why everyone was behaving with me like that. oh come on it's my fault i know.
after passing time. door unlocked. he come inside and lye on other side of bed back facing me.
me:hey were was you do you done your dinner?
he ignore me.
me: hey jerk am asking you, hum he act like his sleeping which bothers me a little. he have rights to get angry on me. hope tomorrow is not like this.
next day.
i getup and found him no were. its fine. i should getup. as i done morning routine i come down for breakfast. i saw everyone smiling laughing but as i come they stop laugh moving into another direction. huh...i-what that big sin i done to do this with me. ah...i ignore their stares and decide to go out of house. well were is he? hum...his not home he must be in office. and my friends agh why doing this with me. humm he don't had dinner like me. let's spend time there.
i get inside kitchen making lunchbox.
after that i come to his office.
here ....
he:(i was working in office. but damn she's holding my mind. yesterday i don't sleep hugging her which cause sleeping problem. then this stupid stressful files. and that meeting. but i decided to ignore her and give her scilent treatment for week. so she get to know a bit how bad i feel. )
suddenly door knocked. without noticing i shout.
me:come in!.
but my heart beat increase when i hear her voice. i look up and my eyes not agree to move from her. ah damn my angel look so beautiful today. her smile give me little encouragement. which i suppose to have while making this stupid presentation. a smile appare on face but i hide it while bitting lips and poking my cheeks.
she: je-i mean a-...(she close her eyes gripping bag in her hand tight wisper)
she:baby. look what i got for you.
(i was shoked. stunned. shy. amazed by her. wow that heart is bouncing inside me. nah i should act cold. punish her scilent shhh)
she open eyes pull out a lunchbox for me.
she: you don't had dinner. so i- )(she put box on table)
me:gard! gard come here fast.
gard come inside.
i grab and hand him lunchbox.
me: eat well. and drop mam back home.
he nodded.
she walk out room biting her lips. ah damn i make her cry. am such a jerk. i hate i really hate when she cry. i relaxed on chair gard was about to leave but i stoped him..
gard: yes sir?
me: umm give me back lunchbox. here is money order something else for you. and yah drop her home or watch on her if she get back well.
he nodded staring at me Bing done.
i open lunchbox watching her arrange it very lovely. damn it smell yummy.
i was hungry.
again door knocked..
me:come in.
jm:hey buddy ...wait nice smell yummy. wow lunch box?
i quickly try to hide.
jm: let me guess who give it to you. the way you are hiding it must be your cupcake.
oh come on let me have bite.
i show him tounge. and quickly take big bite. trying to finish as fast i can. but he grab bites.
as lunchbox finished we both laugh.
me: so how you come here?
jm: just want to talk with you. and to give this files you ask for. well i met her on way. and i drop her home. but she look sad.
i bite lips.
me: let's talk about something else.
jm: why? don't say you are the reason she was sad
me: liar desurve this for week.
jm: hey she had reason. and sir too.
me: still truth is truth. come on why you care about her more now. you are mine. my bestie not her.
jm: ok. do your work. now i leave meet you in college.
me: we are not coming.
jm: how much day you try to avoid one day you need to come so come today.
me: no not today for sure.
jm wave hand while nodding.
here...
agh...i was walking on street ignoring and just false threatening that gard wanted to leave somewhere for sometime...but his bestie meet me on road.
jm: were cutipie.
me: hell! why you care.
jm: let's go hell togather. sit inside.
i nodded. i was trying hard to not show emotions but he ask.
jm: so were was you?
me: in graveyard why?
jm: why you always talk fisty with me
me: cause everytime you meet me at wrong mood.
jm: again that mood swings?
here...
jm: i was on my way to meet him. but my eyes landed on familer figure. i stop car. and ask her she's still fisty with me. as she sit i again start car while starting conversation with her.
i ask her why always talk fisty with me. and her answer was again fisty. but impressive as like always. she look beautiful but cute at a same time. but the way she dressed up is different. she's cute. how can anyone resist her existence.
i ask her again mood swings but her actions just take place in heart. the way de blow her cheeks like bollon and turn face side staring down. she was cute but i saw sadness in her eyes.
me: what happen?
she nodded in no. i saw empty bag in her hands.
me: i will drop you home once i done my work. she nodded. as i come out i shh the gard. to not tell him she's still here.
as that gard was scared my her death glares she was keeping on him.
i laugh and walk in. i saw him with lunch box. ah look at that jerk how eating..as we finish we start talk. ah and now i know reason why she was sad. ah i heared both sides yesterday i don't think anyone was wrong. everyone was misunderstood the scene.
as i leave office i saw her sitting inside car. and that gard was astonished cause of her. what this little hell done?. when i approch car gard give me relief sign.
i want to laugh out.
i start car.
me: want to go somewhere?
she nodded gripping bag in hands making a cute pout.
me: damn how cute it is. uff. i don't know why but i was smiling for her cute angry swag.
she turn to me her stares pircing through my soul. wierd but cute feelings growing inside me. her eyes are deep when they come in contact of sunrays.
me: w-why are you staring at me like that?
she: you are his bestiE. how come i trust you?
me: umm? d-dont worry am not him.
she:(screech her nose) anyways. were we are going?
me: were you want to go?
she: a scilent place were i can ace my anger. far from humans and close with greenary
me: ohk.
after sometime.....
we arrived at place as she run outside roaming and lye on grass under tree.
i come and sit beside her.
me: did he talk something bad
she: nah. am not going to give him lunchbox again.
me: why?
she: AM DONE! GO AND ASK YOUR BESTIE!
jm: oh. chill down. he is he and i am me. don't push his anger on me.
anyways want to eat something? from your face i don't think you have eaten
me: bingo! you got me. so why is for lunch? well am sorry i don't mean it
jm: leave it. why don't you cook something for me? i mean from when i meet you i just heared you make good food. but i never taste
me: let's go!
jm: really? ok! (smile)
here....
(after meeting. come out streching his arms. )
i want her presence around me i miss her so much. let's see if i got chance to hold on her if that cat taking nap then. )
after sometime.....
he come inside. but don't found her at home.
he: umm Lisa were is she?
Lisa: i should ask same question. she leave to you for lunch.
he: but jm drop her home right?
Ashu: we don't know. she must be with you if she's not here.
he: damn it. this girl uff. were she could be at this late (panic)
shubhu: it's just evening. don't over react.
here.....
( jm was such nice guy. we plant some plants jn garden watch a movie and cook food and have some.gossips too and done cooking too)
jm: so tell me reason why don't want to bring lunch to him?
she: i put my efforts on lunchbox and he hand over without glance to gard. no no next time i will bring food for gard not for him! agh. first ignore and then this act. that my group ignoring me. ah fuck this world am done there.
jm: let's start eating. so you clam down.
well your group ignoring you?
she: yah. everyone there ignoring me. i don't think they are happy with me anymore. humm. let's eat fast then drop me back
jm: you want to go back? even if they are ignoring you?
she: damn i don't mind. somewhere they are right. its about my jerk. he must don't had food. and even if he had he must be worried for me. i know even if his angry on me he care for me. i actually appreciate that this scene happen. cause i found him loving me so much and for me hurted. his on right but i done some mistakes i will try to get better now.
jm: i can't understand you.
she: like i can. duh
(phone ring)
(she pick the call)
(another phone ring)
(jm pick the call)
she: hello?
Lisa: get back home. everyone is worried
she: why would i?
here...
jm: hello?
he: hey she's not here. help me to fi- wait it's her voice is she with you
jm:she don't want to get back so i bring her here.
here...
me: stop that fake concern! why you care. i don't found any of my group comfortable around me. your smile drop you lost your food when i come so why call now! i don't done dinner or breakfast cause of you all nor a lunch because of him now am in peace eating my food that also don't let me!
jm: shh!
me: shh? hey am not talking with you. am talking with Lisa.
here.....
he:(hearing all on phone) she don't have food from night? and you all let her stay like that.
here...
she:j-jerk? (turn behind to witness jm with shoked a bit scared face.
(she point at his phone nodding)
jm:(nodd back scilently with wided eyes)
her eyes wided too.
he: jm drop her right now HERE! or i will come to take HER.
jm: am coming.
she: am not going! no!
he: so she choose i should get there right? am coming!
(both cut the call)
here....
you all one thing from all you can't be done right!
why were you all doing this with her
Ashu: you were reason she skip lunch.
shubhu: we were ignoring her but you also!
he: let's talk later. for now am going to bring back.
here...
she: ahhhhh! why things messing again and again. yah YOU! why don't you tell me earlier
jm: i was signing you!. ah now what should we do?
he: just let me take her back.
she: how the hack you come?
jm: teleport.
she: monster king!.
jm: you remember.
she: unfortunately yes. damn i can't even run away now.
he: told you so on earth never can hide from me. even if you want.
here...
???: ah i forget this letter. wait. isn't she destincy. she want to join our college. wow. i have golden chance to solve my problems. i can't that principle let use her for his problems alone. this letter is useful for me!
(smrink)