We spent that day and night together… which was very romantic and I still couldn't get over it during that time. I'm already here on a date with him and I still can't believe it. He's so cute… I'm starting to show a side of me that even I have never seen before. This feeling that's uncontrollable, consuming… for some reason I feel like I'm obsessed with him. Just looking at him isn't enough anymore. I want to constantly hold him… feel him. I want him to wrap me in his arms, smell his perfume, and listen to his heart beat as he says he loves me. It's amazing… but it's too much for my brain to handle that sometimes I space out. The date was something simple and nothing over the top. We just went out to eat and went back to his dorm for second round of eating… now that I actually say it, seems weird but oddly satisfying. He is my first in a lot of things that it scares me. I feel like I'm getting dumber by the second. I guess it's true that no matter how smart you are, when you fall in love your IQ drops to zero.
It's just like what Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother said… during the start of your relationship you go through a series of steps but the most true to that was the first step… we really did spend a lot of time in bed followed by the we never wear pants. I honestly don't know where we get the time for that considering that were both students from a very busy course. He exhausts me sometimes… not just physically but emotionally. It's literally too much for me, someone who's tried to make little to no human contact and all of a sudden I have someone who is literally with me constantly.
I was happy with him but… yeah there is always a "but". Our relationship was a secret… remember when I said that we always spent our time together during tutoring sessions? That still stayed true the following semester. I "tutored" him for yet another subject that he knew… and that's the only time we're together regularly. Everything we did was at my place and never his. Like I said, it's a social taboo for two people of different species to be together. He's met my friends but I never met his. What is happening to me? Why is this okay for me, now? How dumb have I become?
"Hey. Ford."
"Ford."
"FORD!!"
I suddenly came back to reality with a loud call to my name…
"What?!" I shouted in shock.
"You okay? I was talking to you but I guess you were spacing out…" Brad said.
"Was I? Sorry… I was just thinking." I told him.
He comes close and wraps his arms around me and asks me what's wrong. I just lay my head by his neck.
"Hey… look at me. Tell me what's wrong." He asks again.
"It's nothing… I'm just not feeling too well today." I said.
"Are you sick? Do you want me to stay? What do you want? I'll get it for you." He asks.
He's worried. It's cute… I kiss him then hug him tight. Am I just over-thinking it?
"Please stay…" I ask him to.
"Okay, I'll take care of you." He comforts me.
And that was the second time he stayed at my dorm room for the night. Should I ask him or no? I'd want to meet his friends and see what they're like… or what they'd think of me. We were lying down in bed facing each other and his arms still around me. I stare at him for a while and touch his lips… when I did, he spoke but his eyes still closed.
"Oh sorry, did I wake you?" I asked.
"No, I'm not yet asleep, I can feel you staring at me." he replied.
"Sorry." I said while chuckling a bit.
"Can't sleep?" he passes the question.
"A bit…" I said.
"Need me to make you fall asleep?" He says then opens his eyes and smiles at me.
"I don't understand where you get so much stamina." I told him.
"Well…"
And just there he proceeds to kiss me. I couldn't do anything again… once I'm caught in the heat of the moment I snap away from reality.