I slowly opened the door hoping for the worse… hoping it wasn't Adam… and all the more hoping it wasn't Brad. To my dismay… it was Brad.
"Ford…" he greeted.
I was taken aback by his appearance at our house. I don't know how he found out but I never told him or anyone about my address. My brain wasn't absorbing that he was standing in front me. I couldn't move… I didn't know what to say or do.
He comes closer and kisses me… hugged me tight… tighter. His smell… his lips… his body pressing against mine. I miss it. It feels so good to feel it once more.
"Bro, who's at the door?" I was snapped back into my senses when I heard Farrel's voice.
My brother comes over to check and when he saw Brad…
"Glad you could come." He said.
Brad smiled politely and looked at me… he knows that I've become confused. Brad told me that him and Farrel met long before he met me… and that the reason we actually met, was because of Farrel.
Farrel invites him in and we sat in the good old-rustic sofa that we've had in our house for years.
"Somebody please tell me what's going on." I asked.
Farrel explains that he had Brad come over to talk to me. Brad didn't want to at first because he promised that he'd wait for me to get back… but he really wanted to see me as well. Farrel left to give me and Brad a chance to talk.
I remained quiet, seated… waiting for a word to echo in the now awkwardly silent room. He comes closer to me and holds my face. He stares deeply into my eyes just as he always does. It's unfair how I can easily forget the wrong he's done and get lost in those beautiful eyes of his. Truth be told, I've been drawn deep into his eyes just as I was with Adam. Unlike Adam's though, Brad's eyes shine differently. His eyes had a bright-green hue to it. It always kinda looked like his eyes was covered with oil just how shiny it was… but they've been through a lot. His brows were thick and firm as well, with lashes not so many, but long and curled. It's hypnotizing. It's so easy to get lost in them.
He opens his mouth and I wait eagerly for the words he is about to say. His voice, that deep-soul-melting voice that I loved… I want to hear it more. Hear him whisper my name again. Why do I feel this way? Have I really missed him that much? It's so unfair…
"Ford…" he says.
There it goes… the way he says my name always has me breaking, melting. It drives me insane just to hear it.
"I… I don't know what I should do or say. There's no getting out of what I've done…" he continues.
Odd… why are there no tears flowing from my eyes? I should be crying now… the man who hurt me is in front of me. But why do I feel so… at ease?
"That doesn't matter to me anymore. What matters now is how I can win you back. I want you in my life… this time, the right way…" he explains.
There it goes… hopes… dreams… they flutter around like butterflies as he utters every single word. Is it bad that I want to catch those butterflies? Is it fair for my heart to try again?
"Ford… from now on, if you could please give me one more chance, I will treat you right. Love you right… I just… I love you." he finishes.
And once again he has me bound to him. The words I wanted to hear… the words I wanted. Will it work? Should I take this dive one more time? I've run out of parachutes… if I take this, and it fails… I will surely hit hard up to a point of no return.
He stares at me… waiting… we're here again. He's waiting for some answers. A response. I look down, trying to avoid his glare. I want it but why do I linger? My own fears are holding me back…
There's that feeling again… his pained that I'm not answering. I can hear his stifled sobbing. I feel him hold the back of my head and he pulls me close to his chest. His heartbeat… I loved hearing it. He kisses my head and he hugs me tight. He continues to cry… I can't help but tear up a bit.
"Do you remember? How we first met?" he abruptly asks.
Why does he ask? Of course I do… it was a moment that I'd never forget.
"It was fun teasing you when I was wearing my boxers and pitching a tent. You thought you were holding it in good but your ears were so red. It was cute." he continues.
I never knew… I didn't think my ears would turn red from something like that.
"I loved how you always brought something for me whenever we saw each other. Simple things you do that makes my heart pump hard…" he goes on.
It wasn't that special really… I didn't know how to love, not really. I just thought that that was something appropriate.
He moves away a bit and puts his hand on my face, he lifts my face so that I'm looking at him. His face is drenched in tears… he's so vulnerable.
"Do you remember what happened after you drank that 4 shots I asked you to?" he asks.
Truth be told I don't. I know someone came then, but being under the influence of the alcohol made it difficult for me to understand what was happening. He smiles… knowing full well that I couldn't. His eyes became so confident all of a sudden… it's as if the next thing he will say will change my mind.
"I actually introduced you to my dad, then." he says.
I was shocked, my eyes widen as he said that. I sat properly and stared at him. I think I remember a bit of that. My memory has been fragmented then, but I do recall talking to an older man that kinda looked like him. I couldn't remember what we were talking about. I can't even picture his face completely but pieces of it made it seem familiar. But I remember his voice… it was deep and croaky, but it had a nice ring to it. I thought the voice felt oddly familiar yet so distant.
"He liked you. He said that you were quite different than what he expected. But he was happy that I am keeping someone like you." he goes on.
"I'm sorry if I didn't introduce you to my friends… they just… don't matter to me that much." he adds.
I look at him in confusion… why would they not matter?
"They're just my friends because they are the people around me. Being like this and all… but, that's about it. I never shared any kind of special connection with them. I didn't feel like they'd matter, nor will they be important for you to meet." he explains.
Was I talking out loud? He seems to answer questions that I ask internally. I feel so horrible now… I had him go through all this for… something so pathetic. He introduced me to his dad I wasn't even aware until now.
"My mom wanted to meet you, too. After my dad told her all about you, she's been banging on my phone trying to have you come over for Christmas." he continues.
I look at him… he smiles. I move closer to him. I wipe his tears off, they were almost dry. He holds my hand as I touch his face. He kisses it. I can feel his longing. I continued to hold his hand. I stood and pulled him to my room.
I had him go in and I closed the door behind us. I want him… bad. I asked him to sit on my bed, I sat on him and kissed him. I can't believe I'm doing this in my parent's house. It doesn't matter anymore I guess.
I kiss him fervently. His moans, his groans… they're still so sexy. I stop and look into his eyes. I could hear his heavy breaths. They tell me a story… the story of how much he wants this but he eagerly waits for what happens next. His hands are on my waist but he's not holding tight. He's waiting for me to make the move myself. I put my hand on his face… slide and touched his lips. He closes his eyes. I move my head closer so that my forehead touches his…
"You know I want you… it's not a secret I try to hide." I said, expressing my deep desire for him.
I grip his lips with mine… wanting every inch of his wet kiss. I try to tease him. Taking it slow. I pushed him to lay on the bed and I stayed on top of him. With every deep and fervent kiss, his breaths get deeper… heavier. He's trying to restrain himself but he wants me badly. I like it. I tease him even more, until I guess he couldn't handle it anymore. He switches me over to be the one laying on the bed. He kisses and pushes me hard as he took his shirt off. His dominant side shows its face.
He pulls my clothes off of me fast… and he removes his pants faster. He pulls my head back through my hair and kisses my neck. With all that's going on I could care less if my parents and siblings hear us. I wanted him as much as he wanted me. I got lost in the heat of the moment and couldn't remember what was happening. After all the crazy stuff, I think we fell asleep… because I woke up to the knock on my door and Farrel's muffled voice.
Farrel's inside my room and he was telling me something… I locked the door, though. I tried to make out his words…
"F…. F… or…. For…. d…. FORD!" he exclaims.
I snapped back when I realized he was saying my name. I stood only to realize that I was fully clothed and Brad wasn't beside me. I… that's right. Farrel and I had a drink last night. I was dreaming… my heart breaks knowing that it was just a dream.
"Bro, have you come to? I hope you're not having a bad case of hang over." he says.
"So early, bro… what is it?" I asked as I scratch my head.
"You've got a visitor, come on out." he says.
I stood, I didn't even bother to look presentable. I just woke up with a bad hang over. As I approached the living room, I saw a familiar figure, sitting… talking… laughing… bantering with the rest of my family.
"Oh he's here!" My dad exclaims.
"Sweety, you didn't even bother to fix yourself up!" my mom says.
As my mom walks over to me, the visitor turns around to look at me…
"Good morning, Ford…"