It's another cold night and I can't seem able to sleep. Not even the sleeping medication works anymore. Why is that? HECK I am so tired of asking myself this question. I can't help but think I'm all alone in this house full of strangers claiming to be my family.

I have a mother who loves the children of others before she even remembers she has this child of here.

A father who won't fight back against my mom's words. Saying my lack of emotions is just part of the "phase" of being a teen.

My siblings who like to play together but they always seem to always leave me behind. Or they just play a game they know I don't know how to play.

How can I even close my eyes whenever I think I'll be attacked by them? And it seems that only when I pretend to be some one else when I'm outside of these walls do people actually look and lesson to me.

BUT IT'S NOT REALLY ME! WHY CAN'T THEY SEE THAT! All the tears I have shed won't give back the peace I have lost inside my heart.

Only when I talk to you, can I actually say... some one is finally lessoning to me.

I hate my life and I want to change it so bad. But what am I going to change? I hope you can help me answer this question really soon, I really want yo know.

Yours truly Racheal