What do I do? What do I do? It's only been two hours since the operation ended and two hours since they told me I lost my child. The child I carried inside me for nine months. I didn't even get a chance to hold her. They said she was born... dead. I can't say I really heard how she died. Better said I don't want to know. I can't bring myself to believe this cruel joke.
How can I accept this. My first child... and I how can anyone understand the emptiness I'm having. The hollow feelings inside me. The one where she was and the hole in my heart. This empty hole,.... I..... what am I supposed to do now.
Her name.... I named her Esperanza..... my hope. That's what she meant to me, she is me hope. Now what am I supposed to do. She is gone and I'm still her. She is out of my reach, and to think just yesterday she was her with me. I was protecting her inside me this whole time and now that she left my protection. They tell me that she is gone for good.
If only I had protected her better she could have still been here in my arms for the first time. But it doesn't matter what I think or wish because she is gone and all I have left is just her name. And I will.....
Esperanza maybe I'll fallow you soon. You are my everything without you be my side. What else should I do but follow my hope wherever she goes.