Dear I
I feel in love today. And I know ill just be one of many who will be after him as well. In other worlds he belongs to everyone and can never belong to just one. Who is he? He is the one I want to be the closest to but don't have the courage to get close to, but he always has someone following behind him. The one I try to talk to him, but even if I try to talk at the top of my lungs he won't be able to hear me out of all the other voices talking at the same time. If I try to call or text (doesn't matter if its by cell phone or mail) my message will get lost among all the rest. It will take forever before he gets to see my name. I don't think he even knows who I am either by name or face. I can say with all honesty, he is what i want, but am I anything he will ever think about? Maybe he won't like me as myself? Do I have to change myself? I don't know what to do, what to say much less what to do to even get a glimpse of his back.
I know what you are thinking, get over him. Their are so many guys out in the sea. I hear you I really do but I have been in love with him for a couple of years. And I also know that it's closer to an obsession than just a regular love story. I have tried believe me I have tried to give up on him so many times but their is always something that brings me back to him. I see him in places he shouldn't be and in my hardest times of need of he will be near by showing me the right way or just bringing a smile back to my face when all I can do is cry. this is always what happens is in a way I hope you can understand why I'm like this.
I decided to send my last letter today, just a love letter to him and a reminder with the time and date on my calendar so I won't forget. Mostly to see how long it takes him to notice my letter and see how long its going to take him to answer me back. I also gave myself a time limit on how long I should wait for the reply. If he at least knows my name or face I can say we are close to friends or just a classmate among many, if it's before the dead line I know I'm can at least say he answer me at the least. If it's after the dead line or no answer at all then I know where I stand in his world. i won't say how long or short I gave my self in this time limit. All I can say is it is shorter then all the years I have waited to be notice by you.
Anyways, this is both my confession as well as my farewell to my first love. It could go either way. I just hope i don't cry with whatever happens in the end.
Wish me luck yours truly
Jerry