Chapter 4 - Rejection

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Do you know what it's like to really want something but then every time your so close, something gets in the way. Or someone in my case. I've been trying for weeks to talk to Emma but Amy constantly seems to be there. Constantly hovering.

You would think considering the fact that we're neighbors there's no way that Emma could avoid me, but somehow she has. Every class I find my self unable to talk to her. Here's why:

History: There's always a group of girls following me and trying to talk. They take all the seats surrounding Emma, but then leaving a seat open for me somewhere in their little circle. Normally I like attention like that but not when it stops me from getting what I want.

English: Amy. She's a pest, a pest that won't leave me alone. The teacher's been letting us sit down and talk about the project but Amy intervenes every time I try to talk to her sister.

I mean don't get me wrong, it's not like Emma's helping any either. Every time i manage to talk to her for a few seconds she ignores me, or gives me short and quick answers as if she wants to be done with me.

At their house, Amy's always making excuses about how Emma's sick or she's out somewhere. I've never tried so hard just sleep with a girl. They usually fall at my feet and at the most they need a few weeks to be convinced I can give them the time of their life. Except it's already been a few weeks and I've barely even spoken to Emma. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough.

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At lunch I decide to skip it and look for Emma, i never see her at lunch but I though that maybe I just missed her. But it's been weeks and I haven't seen her so she has to be somewhere else.

I look for her once more in the cafeteria before I leave and head for the library. She seems like a girl that would be there right? She has kind of a nerdy vibe to her.

My assumptions would be correct as I spot her in the back of the library hidden away. She's hidden away from everyone, sitting at a table. Theirs papers laid out all around her and she seems on edge. She's wearing an oversized sweatshirt with tight jeans that seem to be to small. But I'm not complaint, they show off her ass perfectly which really is a beautiful sight.

I walk over to her and clear my throat, making my presence known. She jumps and then looked up at me before I see her body tense. What did I do?

" Why are you hiding out back here," I ask pulling out a chair and sitting down across from her. She doesn't respond and I think she hopes that I'll leave her alone. But I won't, we can sit here in silence if we have to.

Finally after a short game of 'who can be quite the longest', she gives in and breaks the silence, " What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with my sister. Or maybe the football team? My sitter keeps talking about how you joined the team a few days ago."

" I came here to find you," I say deciding to be honest. That seems the best way to go with her.

Her head snaps up and she turns to look at me. She stares at me silently, just studying me. I start to feel uncomfortable under gaze. Her bright blue eyes seem to stare into my soul, dragging out my secrets.

Finally after a short while she breaks eye contact with me and starts to pack up papers. " I don't know why you're here right now, but I know nothing good will come of it. So stop. Whatever your trying to do just stop. I'll do the work, give you the answers and then boom we will have little to interaction with each other."

Her hand reaches for a stack up papers but I'm able to grab them before she does. I don't want her to leave. I stand up move away from her keeping the papers out of reach. Anything to keep her here.

" Give that to me," she says heading for me. But I allude her, making sure to keep the table between us. I was going to speak but something caught my eye.

At the top of of the papers is a name. Amy's name, I glance over the sheet and realize it's homework. Amy's homework to be exact. I briefly flip through the others one and realize that Emma must be doing Amy's hw.

The papers are suddenly snatched from my hand and I watch as Emma storms back to her stuff and shoved the papers away into a binder.

" Why are you doing her work," I ask moving closer.

" because," she says. No reason, no further explanation. Just because.

" Aren't you busy with everything else? Amy says your working on your project, but don't you also have your own work to do."

She silently shoves the binder into the backpack before hiking it over her shoulder. She turns to leave and I each out for her arm and grab her wrist.

" Hey I'm speaking to y..." My voice trails off as I feel her wrist. It's bumpy and rigid and it feels disgusting. I glance down and a look of distaste washed over me at the sight. At some point, her hoodie sleeve must have risen up because my hand had grabbed her bare skin. Well I wouldn't really call it bare.

Scars of all length and sizes run up and down her arm traveling up and disappearing beneath her sleeves. Did she do this?

I glance up at her but she's already yanking her arm out my hand and running away. Maybe that's for the best because if she's a cutter than that means she's not right in the head. And I don't have the emotional capacity to deal with something like that.

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He saw. He saw what no one else in this school has. My scars. This was never suppose to happen, but now it has oh god what if he tells someone, what if everyone finds out. I hope that doesn't happen.

And his face. When he touched my scars he was disgusted. I knew there was no way he'd ever actually be interested in me. Besides my scars probably scared him away.

But maybe that's for the best. I don't need that drama in my life and Amy has already basically claimed him. Staying away from him is probably best.

But then... why does the thought of not seeing him upset me so much.

I mean it's hard not to like him. Lately, alive been hearing a lot about hot he is. Or how he's so swoon worthy. Even if I can't be with him i can still admire him.

With his broad shoulders and big muscles, it's hard not be attracted. Not to mention his sharp features and brown eyes. He looks like a god. Untouchable.

And that's something I need to remember if I want to stay out of as much as trouble as I can.