Chapter 7 - Determination

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Jake looks around the room silently, taking everything in. It's hardly anything. There's a broken couch, a pallet, and two drawers in the floor that can't from a dresser my mom threw away. I keep what little clothes I can in there and what doesn't fit I put on the couch.

It's hardly much., it's not even a room, but it's something. And I've found out that that's better than nothing.

" Is this where you sleep," He asks with a look of distaste, " No one should be living like this. There's perfectly room downstairs."

" One of those rooms is my moms office and the other one we're not allowed to go in." I say watching as he walks around the room, " why are you here Jake? Do you want something?"

" I came here for you," he says walking towards me, " we need to talk."

He stands close to me forcing me to look up at him, " What could you possibly want to talk to me about?"

" What happened? That day you disappeared, you were gone for week then came back and didn't even talk to me."

What happened? What happened was that my mom had me beaten so bad that I puked up blood. It didn't help that my ribs were still hurting from my earlier beating a few weeks ago. But I can't say that , he wouldn't even believe me anyways, no one has.

" I don't understand why you care, I mean just a few days ago you had a girl pressed up against the locker and acting like their was some treasure somewhere in her mouth."

He winces and runs his hand through his hair, " look that wasn't my best moment."

" Than you've had a lot of ' not of my best moments,' I don't care who kiss or who you sleep with. It's not my business." He's watching me carefully and me and him both know that I'm lying.

" I'm never thinking straight when I'm with you." He mutters shaking his head.

" Well obviously, I don't know why your so inter-" my words are effectively cut off as he crashes his mouth against mine. My mouth opens in a gasp and he takes that as an opportunity to delve his tongue into my mouth.

I know that this is suppose to be romantic, but my mind is panicking. I've been touched by too many men to ever be comfortable around then. I feel my eyes tear up as my mind brings up some of the times I've been touched against my will. I can't, I can't do this.

Right when I'm about to have a breakdown, Jake pulls back and frowns at me. " What's wrong?"

I just a take step back and shake my head. He reaches for me, but I flinch at the though of his touch. When he touched my wrist last time I didn't flinch because he was reaching for my wrist. But this time I don't want him to be mad and slap me.

" Emma?" He steps away from me and shakes his head, " I think I'm getting mixed signals here. I thought you liked me?"

" What gave you that idea? Jake the only time we talked was during lunch and even then it was mostly about the project. "

He throws his hands up in frustration and flares at me, as if I've done some thing wrong. " Your kidding right? There better not be one sided feelings. Do you even find me attractive?"

" Everyone does," I say not really answering his question, " and I wouldn't say that it's exactly one sided." I say this last part quietly but he still hears me.

" Then why can't I kiss you? Why'd you freak out."

I open my mouth, but before I can I hear the garage opening down below. Crap.

" you need to leave," I say pushing at his chest. He doesn't even move, just stares down at me with a small smile. " Stop smiling and leave," I snap pushing at his chest again. But I can't move him, his chest is like solid rock? " I can't be seen with you."

" Why not," he says gently grabbing my wrist and pulling them brown to my side, " What are you so afraid of huh?"

I tug against his grip and let's me go, though reluctantly. " Please," I whisper. It comes out as a plead but I don't even care. I don't want to get in trouble again and I can hear the front door opening.

He must have realized how frightening I am because he nods slightly and heads for the door. " This isn't over," he says stopping at the door. He gives me one last look before he leaves disappearing down the stairs.

<<<

As I was going to leave, I spot Amy's door open and I head for it. I find her sitting on her bed typing on her phone.

I knock on the door before stepping in, she glances at me before returning to her phone. If she thinks acting indifferent is going to make me want her than she's wrong.

" You done with her already? Or did she kick you out."

" Do you know?" I ask coming to sit on her bed.

" Do I know what," she asks setting her phone down beside her and sitting up.

"That she cuts herself."

She glares at me, " How do you know that. Did she tell you? What else did she say?"

Why is she so freaked out by that question. And if she knew, why is it still continuing. " Is there something else I need to know"

I see her force herself to relax and she shakes her head, " No. But I suggest you leave now."

" No. No one is telling me the truth and I want answers. What the hell is going on around here."

Her shoulder slumps forward and she just shakes her head sadly, " What happens in this house stays in this house. Which means it's none of your business."

I stand up, annoyed. I need to leave. " Your not as bad as you make yourself seem Amy so I'll make you deal. Answer this question, help me, and later on I'll help you. Now I'm going to ask you again: is Emma safe?"

"No," she says her voice barely audible, " No one in this house is."

" Thank you," I say before leaving. Now that I have my answer, even if it's not the one I wanted, I feel slightly better. Because now I know.

As I head downstairs, I pass their mother who's busy setting the table. She glances up when she sees me and smiles, " Jake, it's nice to see you hear. Did You come here to see Amy?"

Do I tell her the truth? Or with that get Emma in trouble? "Yes ma'am. We've just finished talking."

" oh well why don't you stay for dinner. I'm making lasagna."

I don't think Emma would like that. "Unfortunately my parents are expecting me home for dinner. Apparently we need to spend some more quality time together."

" Oh well maybe next time."

Nodding, I leave the house and walk back over to mine. I have zero intention of staying for dinner.

" Jake, my mom says as I walk into as the kitchen, " your late. Go sit down at the table with your father. Let me just get your dad another drink and then we can eat. Do you want anything."

I shake my head and head into the dining room and sit as far away from my father possible. To say that me and my father don't have a good relationship would be an understatement. We're complete polar opposites.

The only reason we're not living in some mansion and I'm going to a private school like last time, is because I refused to come with if things didn't change.

Our family is one of the riches in the world, owning thousands of business. While my dad may only care about making money, I care about having freedom and a life.

His work brought him here to Florida snd I got to choose where we lived as long as it was close enough to work. So I chose a middle class neighborhood that wasn't exactly screaming money. My mom didn't care but my dad made his opinion clear constantly.

My dad sat at one end of the table, nursing a beer and staring off into space. From the look In his eyes it seems that this isn't his first one.

" Ok here you go," my mom says walking in and setting another beer in front of my dad. She sits down at the table and we all immediately dig in.

She's made spaghetti and meatballs and it taste delicious.

"'Dinner is amazing mom," I say getting seconds.

" Thanks honey. So... how's school? Any girls?"

I freeze, thinking about Emma. Does she count? Is that what I want? A relationship? I can't remember the last time I did one of those.

" There better not be," my dad says suddenly when I don't answer. " My son isn't going to date some girl from a public school. You need to be with someone of status."

" I can date whoever I want dad, besides it's not like I'm going to marry them. Whoever I do marry will be for love not money."

"Unfortunately that's not how it works," My dad says downing the rest of his beer before moving on to the next one, " We don't always get what we want. Remember that."

I stand up from the table, done with this conversation. " Trust me dad I know that more than anyone," I walk over to my mom and kiss her on the forehead, " goodnight mom I love you."

She gives me a sympathetic look, but doesn't try to stop me, " Love you to son."

My parents marriage was a planned one, arranged between to important businesses. While I'm sure my parents loved each other in the beginning, it's clear that things have changed. They still respect each other in a sense but their marriage is hanging on a loose thread.

Running such a huge and demanding business causes a lot of stress for my dad, turning him to drinks. While mom tries to be there, she also needs space, taking lots of vacations and alone time.

I'm determined to not be like my parents, to have love someone with all my heart and make them happy.

Of now course now the question is: Who?