Chapter 5 - The pull

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Football has been keeping me busy, I've been practicing hard trying to prove my spot on the team. While the coach was happy to let me on the team after a scrimmage there were a few players who weren't so happy on the team. Mainly the ones who've been on it since freshman.

But while I'd be ok with not playing that's not exactly what my mom for me. While I love football, my parents live it to a higher degree than I do. They have all these high expectations of me that depend on me getting a good football scholarship. I'd do anything to make them happy, even if that means that I don't get some of the things I want.

Besides when I get through with college they won't have the same hold on my actions as they do now.

I wonder if Emma's mom are like mine. Does she have high expectations about her daughter? Does she know she cuts herself?

Shit I need to stop thinking about her. It's been three days since I've attempted to speak to her. We ignore each other and while that's what I wanted at first, I feel like I've changed my mind.

I can't help but feel this unshakable connection to her. I feel drawn to her and that's not good. I told my self that she had too many problems for me to deal with.

Yes, she might have been a great fuck but what happens when I dump and leave her. Will she be able to handle that. I might be a heartbreaker but that doesn't mean I like it, and I would hate it if she kills herself- wait what am I thinking? She wouldn't kill herself just because I break things off with her...right?Well whatever the case I can't risk it. Its too dangerous.

Despite this though, I happen to find myself heading towards the library where I'll know she'll be.

It's like I said though: I feel drawn to her.

<<<< Emma

He came back. He wasn't suppose to come back! He was suppose to be disgusted with me and never talk to me again, not come back three days later. What am I suppose to do now, he's made it very clear that it's impossible to ignore him.

" Emma, " he says sliding in the seat across from me. Maybe I need a new hiding place. Amy's mad at me and she's forcing me to do all her hw this month and not mention she's shoved the English project on me forcing me to do that to. It gives her more time to talk and flirt with Jake.

And piling on the fact that I have my own work to do, let's just say that things are quite stressful. What I need is peace and quite, hence why I go to the library during lunch.

But apparently I don't get the peace and quite I deserve, " what do you want Jake?"

He takes a quick glance towards my hand before speaking, " What happened a few days ago I-"

" Don't," I say cutting him off, " An apology is not needed so you can go now."

He shakes his head and leans back in the seat, staring at me with a curious expression, " I don't understand why your trying so hard to push me away. I mean, most girls love that I talk to them. But you, you act as if I'm a pest."

" it's a good thing I'm not most girls isn't it? And you are a pest. I want to be alone, I have work to do and your distracting me from them."

"Let me help you then, we're so suppose to be doing a group project. Even if your sister won't help I can, it's not fair for you to have to do all the work when I can help you."

I take a moment to think about his proposal. Maybe a little help wouldn't be such a bad thing?, "Fine, but this is the only time we're together understand?"

" what about in the classroom? The English teacher has already complained to me about how we're slacking off."

" rest assure I'm handling it, the only time I'll work with you is during lunch in the library. Outside of this you can just pretend I don't exists."

" But what if I don't want that to happen? Why are you so afraid to be seen with me?" I'm not. But that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the same towards me. I'm trying to save him the embarrassment and yet he keeps questioning me.

" Do we have a deal?" I ask wanting to get this over with.

He nods his head and we get started on the project.

" Here," I say pulling my copy of pride and prejudice out of backpack, " take this book and read it. You'll be more useful after you read it." He takes the book from me and gives me his award winning smile. The smile that, has panties dropping wherever he goes.

But not mine. I can't let myself be distracted by him, I need to save myself the heartache.

~~~~~~~~

I got to admit he is persistent. Two days later he comes back to the library, claiming he's finished the book and is now ready to help me.

He does everything I ask without hesitation and is always happy. He likes to flirt a lot, but I know it's meaningless.

Besides, the face he made when he touched my scars, when her saw them, will forever be sketched into my mind. That's something I can't forget and as painful as it is, it helps me to resist him.

" Emma? Did you hear me?"

His voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I look at him realizing he's probably asked me a question, " hmm? What was it you said?"

" I asked how we're going to present this."

" A PowerPoint I guess. I can do that part I already have his I want it laid out a-"

" No," he says shaking his head, " I can do it. You've been doing everything else and haven't really don't much. Besides, I'm sure your have other work to do besides this."

He glances over at a separate pile of papers I have for Amy. I feel my self blushing and I hear him laugh ," Look Emma, I won't pretend to know what's going on between you to but I won't ask you about it. I think I'm starting to get a hang of the topics you deem uncomfortable talking about."

We're staring at each other and I'm scared. He's making me feel thinks that I shouldn't, he's not the one for me. He can't help me. No can.

Abruptly I stand up and let out a nervous laugh, "we'll then. I have to go." I give him the outline I have of the PowerPoint and then all my notes.

He takes them slowly, frowning at my odd behavior.

" You can do as much as you want, if you don't want to finish it then just give me everything," I say frantically packing my stuff up. I need to leave, being around him is intoxicating. He makes me something Im not.

" What's going on here." I hear a voice snap. My body freezes and I feel all the color drain from my face. Oh god, she's found us.

Slowly I turn to Amy who's standing there with her arms cross, looking like she's going to murder me. I hear Jake stand up and walk over to me.

" We're working on the project," he says snapping at her, " Maybe you should be helping."

" Your working on the project here," she says waning her hands around, " in the back of the library, alone."

" It's not what I look like," I said my voice coming out quite and hesitant. I haven't gotten any beating this week but now it's all coming crashing down. Because if him. If only I had never agreed to this stupid deal.

Amy glances at Jake before she relaxes her stance and puts on a smile, " Come on Emma, I feel like I haven't seen you at all. Let's go and have some girl time."

Without sparing a Jake a glance I place my backpack over my shoulder and follow Amy out of the library. She's quite until we're outside before speaking, " your in deep trouble, I can't wait till I tell mom."

" I didn't do anything," I say my voice shaking, "We only worked on the project and nothing else. I wouldn't go behind your back like that, You have to believe me."

" I don't have to do anything. And stop lying slut, telling me what you were really doing hmm? Did you really have to use your body just to get him to talk to you."

That's funny coming from her. Considering the fact that she wears revealing clothes just to get attention. But it doesn't matter what she does cause my mom only likes to punish me.