When they reached the table, realization of how awkward the situation dawned at Pam. She doesn't know if she was hallucinating but both Mark and Tim were smiling, reminded her of the first time they met at B Telecoms project before. Tim and Mark are seated opposite each other which means, she needs to seat beside Tim.
Tim break the ice with, "Hi!"
"Hi!" Pam greeted back. She sat beside Tim placing her bag in between them. Tim faced her sideways still with the same smile plastered on his face.
"Are we on double date? "Marked joked, things are about to get awkward after they sat so he quickly made a follow up, "Hey Pam, are you on diet? You seem to have lost few more pounds." This is the first time Mark is seeing Pam this skinny. She always had the just right body.
Pam just smiled; Jenna responded as if this is not new, "This is something I hate about her, she can easily lose weight without the exercise. I remember you lost weight before studying abroad."
Although said in passing, this got Tim thinking. If his recollection is right, Pam went for further studies abroad when they broke up 7 years ago.
"I don't know, I just lost appetite. Probably because I had been sick twice in a row. But I am not good. I am in fact taking vitamins," Pam explained.
With thoughts of soon leaving for Australia, Pam can converse with ease. She firmly believes that change in environment will improve her well-being and continue to move on. She just let the situation be and let loose.
"Babe, I am staying with Pam for 2 or 3 days." Jenna as planned cleared this with Mark.
"I hope you don't mind Mark," Pam chuckled teasing the guy.
"She is giving me access to her safe deposit, I can run away with her hard-earned fortune." Jenna ride in with a joke and unconsciously shared further details. "I am also accompanying her to safely deposit her egg cells."
Seeing how Pam's eyes widened Jenna exclaimed, "what?"
"Cough, cough can bank accept egg cell deposit?" Pam tried to salvage the situation. What surprised her is are the reaction from the two guys.
"Are you only planning to get pregnant when you are in your 40s?"
"I'd love to have kids now." Whether she is engaged with Lissy or not, this is how Tim feels now. He is mid 30s and this is perfect time to have a kid.
"I love kids too," Jenna agreeing to Tim. Why not help my dear friend have one now? For the sake of not making the situation awkward she did not say this.
"What about making one tonight?" Mark hugged Jenna and suggestively massaging here right arm.
"You wish!" Jenna has always been open minded, without getting married she would love to have a kid. "Let's try when I am back." She then winked at Mark.
"Should we get married when you are back in 3 days?"
Tim coughed, "ahead of me? Really?"
There was a moment of silence, "who wants to be married to you? I only want to have a kid!" Jenna was witty enough to save awkward silence. However, despite the lack of romantic marriage proposal, the thought of Mark wanting to marry her warmed her heart already. She also had to say this to move away the marriage topic heading towards Tim. She knows he is engaged to Lissy already.
"I can do it!" They all laughed on it. Looking at their group, they indeed looked like on a double date. It was lovely if this was really the case.
"Come with me and let's get some fertility vitamins." It was a signal from Jenna to leave the old couple behind. "Excuse us for a while, this is urgent!" dragging Mark.
"We will be back, stay here." As they momentarily left the two Mark whispered to Jenna, "are we really getting some preparations, I would love to have kids with you."
It was music to her ears, "who needs vitamins I can just stop taking pills and do it when I ovulate. I hope they get to talk; they are not stupid not to read between the lines."
Mark held her hands and squeezed it tightly. He loves how they are so in sync with each other.
Back in the restaurant.
"I didn't know Jenna was in a hurry to have kids." Pam murmured but it was soft enough to be heard by Tim.
"While she plans it now, you seemed to be planning to have one a little late."
Pam is conflicted, who doesn't want to have kids now that she is 28. However, she doesn't even have a boyfriend. She is not entertaining. By the time she may have one, in God's will, can she still physically manage? Pam was in deep thought.
"Hey!"
"Huh!" Tim managed to break her out of the trance. "it's just a plan, maybe in the future."
It's clear, she is not in a relationship and is not intending to be in one any time soon. Women as they aged are high risk when it comes to getting pregnant.
Maybe because she has accepted some realities in her life, "Tim since you are engaged anyway…"
Tim's heart raced; his mind went to 240 kms speed on what would be next to that statement. 'Is she going to ask me to have baby with her? Should I say yes? 'For God's sake I am indeed engaged why am I even thinking about this.
"I feel like I owe you an apology." She finally had to courage to bring this up. She does not have any plans of elaborating, she misunderstood what she heard back then and judged him. All that happened is partly her fault. There were moments she regretted being so emotional and immature about it. Some many unfortunate things happened after that; the guilt is hunting her even in her dreams. Her mind is set to on finally being free from all the bad memories.
"I just came to know late; I am sorry for accusing you in my mind of something. I was very young then and was so idealistic about relationship."
Now that she brought this up, Tim's face darkened. He was never in a relationship for 5 years until he met Lissy. He was lost back then; the bitterness came back like as if it was just yesterday.
"Very immature indeed. Although I should have not talked about you in that manner, it was an intimate for the boys only discussion. The reality is I am not worth your trust, that is painful."
Pam is trying to hold back the tears and she looks pitiful. The last two statements made an impact. Her hands were slightly trembling, she really took the courage to go all out on this.
"But now that you said it, I am finally clear of the confusion for the longest time. I truly have loved you before. For 5 long years I have been thinking what I have done wrong."
The tears could no longer be held, it rolled down freely on Pam's face. Loved you, in the past he truly loved her. It's all in the past.
He still could not stand seeing her cry, "I am sorry for hating you in the last 7 years. I am sorry for not exerting more effort to find you and understand how your felt then."
He hated her and this is the reason why he was being difficult recently in the past.