It was already afternoon when I arrived home and I got scolded by mom for not having notified her for staying out late. I just forgot... Like always, Sighs.
My head spun around, I felt dizzy as if I had a fever and couldn't ease my mind. I only was aware of him or rather her? Argggh!! It messes my head up what the heck is this feeling? I don't get it. It's painful!... I don't want to feel like that... I barely made it into my bed, hoping it would help to put my mind at ease. But no matter what I tried my mind wandered around and..... found itself lost in that memory... She was so beautiful too...
It hit me like a clap of thunder that struck inside me, so my body acted accordingly and instantly stood up and I hit the ceiling of my room!
And yet the only thing on my Mind was: She was so beautiful too?! I look back at that memory with what? jealousy?! No! No! No way!
My face made a disgusted expression as I came across what could be bugging me. Impossible!!! I will never admit...!
His lips were so soft though... Yearns. My head exploded and I was bright red.
When I didn't already have a fever I would have it by now... I collapsed into a black world.
When I woke up again half a day already passed and My whole body was covered in sweat, as wet as I was I could have been very well been swimming, just that it wasn't an ocean of water but sweat. I felt much better than before and yet it wasn't my body that made problems but my psyche was unstable.
It's like this again huh? I am breaking apart again? Why can't I break out of this even when people are around I always feel so empty... Hold your head high idiot, now is not the time for daddling around like this I will most certainly catch a cold when I don't change my clothes.
Well and what about Bass?.... He crossed my mind while going to the closet, where I got myself a new pair of clothes. I went to the bathroom to shower and wash away my worries.
I used to hate the shower but now, it has become the thing I rely on the most in my life... The hot water would wash away my feelings and gift me great relief, I could be at ease, not needing to think about anything that has happened and in times I would lose the bottom under my feet the shower would get me the ground back. I took a towel and went out of the shower with a slight smile on my face "That felt good!" I changed into new clothes and went outside with my dog. It already was around 4 am but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep after this so I walked under the starry sky and watched my favorite constellation, Orion.
The cold breeze actually should have made me feel cold and unwelcome but it welcomed me instead.
I went inside again and finally checked my phone. You got 5 Missed calls! From who are they though? I looked at the list and saw one name 5 times... BASS!!
I took my phone and wanted to call him, but seems like he thought the same and called me in that instant.
I picked it up and said: "Hello"
"Hello Eri it's Bass"
"I know that, stupid!"
"Guessed so...Haha I am just glad you are fine I thought something happened to you so I am relieved you just ignored me all day...." Did his voice just sound painful?
"I didn't ignore you I just fell asleep" "Hahaha what the heck?!" "Yeah sorry about that" "Actually... I couldn't sleep because of that you know I thought you would hate me already, for showing you myself..." He seemed to be anxious. There is no way I could hate him... after all... After all what?!
"I don't hate you Bass, so let's meet up again" His Voice got faster and he asked loudly:" Gimme your address" "Huh.... okay" I gave him my address and he directly hangs up. Huh? Huh?! Huh What the heck was that? What happened, did he just hang up on me?! Argh I am so hopeless! I will just continue to go with my dog after all the landscape here doesn't change. One building there another one, 10 meters say and the next ones 20 meters away, all in all, a normal neighborhood on a countryside village.
After a 15 Minutes walk, I reached home and saw a person trying to look through the door. "Hey!, What are you doing there!!" Fuck, Think before you speak idioooot, well now it's already too late I am done for but I will put up a fight! Don't worry there stranger! "Eriiiii" You Couldn't see his figure well in the dark but his, big shoulders, the slender waistband would probably suit him. I almost got a nosebleed imagining that... No, he is NOT hot!
"Eri talk to me" He pouted. Wait! is he being needy????! So adorable, aww. Awe? Ewwww?!! Did I just think Awwwe?!!!! But he is soo... No, HE is NOT!
"I am here Bass don't worry" I went towards him and reached my hand out intending to pat him but... I thought about his girlfriend, how she felt about this, how she might be crying now, and how he would tear our friendship when I would get between his relationship.
I directly hid my arm behind my back and glued my hands together, which means I held my own hands so tight as if the world would end the next day if I wasn't doing it. "Eri....?"
I would rather watch you from a distance.