Charm's POV
This is supposed to be a happy day for because today is my wedding day. Well, that is only applicable to a regular bride. My situation is different from the others, this wedding is not something that I like to do, but rather something that I need to do.
"Ganon pa rin ang gusto kong sabihin sa yo Menggay, umurong ka na hangga't may oras pa anak. Nitong mga nakaraang araw habang tinitingnan ko kayo ni RJ na magkasama may nabubuo nang paniniwala sa puso ko na tama ang mga pangyayaring ito. Pero ngayon anak, kahit anong tago ng make-up, lumilitaw pa rin sa mga mata mo ang sobrang kalungkutan, kitang-kita ang pag-iyak mo kagabi." Nanay said.
"Nay, pwede po kayang dito na lang si Celestine? Hindi na ko lang po itutuloy yung pag-transfer nya ng school sa Laguna." I said.
"Huh? Pero excited na ang anak mo sa bagong school nya. Dahil ba dun sa gift ni Celestine kagabi kaya mukhang nagbabago ang isip mo at iyon ba ang dahilan na sobrang pamamaga ng mga mata mo?" Nanay asked
"I know I am being selfish Nay, pero ayoko pong makasanayan ni Celestine na laging nandyan si RJ, we all know that this is only temporary. Kung ako lang po Nay, kaya ko po 'to. But seeing Celestine's wedding gift, it only shows how she sees RJ in our life. She will not draw that family picture if she is not seeing RJ at part of our lives now." I said.
"But Celestine is a smart girl, how would you explain to her na nagbago ang isip mong mag-transfer sya ng school. Baka isipin pa nya na ayaw mo na syang makasama kaya iiwan mo sya dito sa Bulacan. Sabi ng iba, mabilis lang ang isang taon pero para sa akin matagal na rin yun. 365 days ding magiging kumpleto ang pamilya ni Celestine, 365 days with her Mommy Menggay and Daddy RJ. Can you imagine how much joy you could give her in that 365 days." Nanay said.
"And then what po Nay, a lifetime of longing for a whole family? Minsan maganda na rin pong hindi nyo nararanasan ang isang bagay, she cannot miss something that she doesn't have." I said.
"I agree. But the desire to know the feeling of having what she doesn't have is another thing. Ganito na lang anak, bakit hindi mo timbangin kung ano ang mas makakabuti kay Celestine, yung makaranas sya ng buong pamilya kahit sandali lang o yung habang buhay na lang nyang pangarapin na magkaroon nito dahil pinalagpas mo ang pagkakataon kung saan pwede mo naman yung ibigay sa kanya. Just enjoy that 365 days of being a family anak. Mahabang panahon yun at hindi natin alam what those 365 days could bring." Nanay said and I could not help again but cry.
"I'm sorry for being selfish Nay, I just want what's best for Celestine. Seeing how happy she is whenever she is with RJ made me believe that I made the right decision. But thinking that this is only temporary hurts me more for her. Kaya ang feeling ko it would be better if I stop this as early as possible. Para walang emotional investment si Celestine." I said.
"I know anak and I completely understand your anxiety. But you will be hurting Celestine this early too. She is so happy now na meron syang tinatawag na Daddy, tapos bigla mong aalisin sa kanya. Parang binigyan mo sya ng candy then after a while inagaw mo din. Do you realized how much you will break your heart?" Nanay explained.
"Pero Nay ..." I said trying to prove my point.
"Can we just talk about this some other time? Let's just enjoy this day, you don't want the guest to see you as an ugly bride." Nanay said.
I could not argue anymore with Nanay, kasi may point naman sya talaga eh. Celestine is now very smitten with RJ. I will break her heart kapag bigla kong aalisin si RJ sa kanya. I will let this slide for now since this is not the right time to deal with my anxiety.
As we arrived in the church, nakita ko kung gaano karaming tao, mga taong karamihan sa kanila hindi ko naman kilala. They are celebrating but little they know that this is actually an empty celebration.
"You are very beautiful mommy." Celestine said while we are in the car, waiting for the start of the ceremony.
"Thank you baby, pareho lang tayong beautiful." I replied.
"But why are you crying? Are you sad?" She asked me.
"Well let's say I will just miss Lolo Teddy and Lola Mary once we move to Laguna and lives with Daddy RJ. I will miss our room in Bulacan. I will miss the kitchen where Mommy used to cook your favorite food. I will miss the lanai where we usually talk about your stuff in school. I will miss the dogs. I will miss everything in our home." I replied to her.
"Please don't cry Mommy." She said then she wipes my tears with her little hands. "Daddy RJ said we have a huge kitchen where you can cook my favorite food and Daddy RJ's favorite food too. I don't know about the lanai but we can talk about my school stuff in my room. I will ask Daddy RJ to buy me a new puppy so you won't miss the dogs. We can ask Lolo and Lola to visit us so you'll not miss them too." Celestine innocently said.
"I love you baby, Mommy loves you so much." I said and tightly hug her. Hearing those words from her only proves how much ready she is in this new set-up. Mabuti pa si Celestine adjusted na, ako I don't think I will ever be.
"I love you too Mommy, and Daddy RJ, too." She replied then Chloe opens the car window for our cue to start the ceremony.
Inside the church, mas maraming tao. Lahat sila nakatingin sa akin, karamihan sa kanila walang ngiti sa labi, nakikisimpatya ba sa akin ang mga ito, ano kaya ang nasa isip ng mga taong 'to habang naglalakad ako papunta sa altar? From where I am, I can see RJ in the altar waiting, una malabo, at habang papalapit ako mas lumilinaw, kagaya ng mga tao kanina, he does not seems happy. Nakakunot ang noon at masama ang tingin sa akin.
"Kasal mo ngayon Charmaine hindi burol. Kung ano ang nakikita mo sa mga tao, ibig sabihin yan din ang nakikita nila sa iyo" Tatay said.
"Smile anak, mas maganda ka kung nakangiti ka." Nanay said while they are walking with me in the aisle.
It is a traditional church wedding, walang kung anu-anong pang drama, just the mass and the usual ceremony with the veil, cord and candle. No wedding vows, obvious naman kung bakit di ba at wala akong pakialam kung magtaka man ang mga taong nandito bakit wala yun.
The usual wedding stuff are all executed smoothly and perfectly that nobody would suspect that this is just an arranged marriage, except for one. The portion when the groom needs to kiss the bride. I literally freeze upon hearing the priest says, "You may now kiss the bride" and everyone begins to cheer. I am not breathing, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to react. All I know is, I am trembling too much. RJ took off my veil and made a few steps to get closer to me, to the point that I can already smell his fresh scent, a very familiar scent.
"There is no turning back now Mendoza Girl, kasama ito sa sinagutan mo ng I do." He said.
"I know that Faulkerson Jr., can you just do your thing so this will be over and done with. 300 ang guests natin therefore 300 hundred ang magpapapicture kasama natin kaya utang na loob … hmmmmp." I was not able to finish my rant when RJ swiftly kissed me on my lips it is not just a smack kiss that I have expected.
I felt his hand on my nape and the other around my waist, both pushing me towards him for a deeper kiss, a kiss that is not strong and forceful, but a sweet and gentle that I can recall we once had years ago. The kiss which gave a different shiver in me and I could not help but to close my eyes again, like what I did when we first have it.
I do not know how long the kiss lasted but a louder cheer made me comes back to my senses. I saw RJ looking at me smiling naughtily when I opened my eyes.
"That was sweet." RJ said smiling.
"No, it's not." I denied.
"Talaga ba? Eh bakit pumikit ka?" He asked teasing. "1 – 0 Mendoza Girl. Clearly Faulkerson, Jr. got that one point." He added.
Bwisit talaga 'tong anak araw na 'to.