I was horrified looking at all the blood sprouting out of him. But the moment I was about to collect his head in my lap a sudden pull restricted my movements.
"Mommy?" Sydney startled but held her laptop carefully. She realized that she dozed off on her bed waiting over the email of a client that still hasn't arrived.
A crispy smile adorned her lips when she held her arms around the small heaven who has reached up to kiss her cheek.
"Good morning," Nick announced louder than usual.
"Good morning, I see from where this excitement is coming?" She looked at her coffee which was now cold.
"You didn't sleep, tonight?" Nick asked,
"No, I woke up early and had my nap already... Where is Abbey?" The last thing she wanted to do was recall the event she had the dream about. Sliding into the covers she tried to rest for ten more minutes and held nick to him.
"Abbey hasn't come. I will get late for school." Nick complained while Sydney had her eyes closed when she answered, "You won't,"
"We are still going to the theme park, right?" Shaking Sydney's shoulder Nick asked for the zillionth time this week while Sydney was a little tired to answer, "Yes"
"And, you will come too," Nick insisted now getting out of the covers that Sydney had pulled over him previously.
"I promise, I will," She uttered the words.
This gave Nick assurance because he knew his mother will never break any of her promises. She could get late but never breaks the promise.
"I will make some pancakes for you," Nick announced and ran out forcing Sydney to follow him in a hurry.
"What we talk about cooking?" One loud call halted any further movement from Nick's side.
"I can't cook until I reach there," He made a pout pointing to the stove.
"Now, go and wake up Abbey. I will set the breakfast for us." Sydney ordered securing her hair in a bun. Her grey t-shirt and pj's made her look like a college girl.
Her mind had a list of chores that she had to execute in the first hour reaching the office. With all these thoughts she switched on to business news and was almost done setting the breakfast for three when Nick appeared with a tired Abbey following.
Abbey was never a morning person but he had become a must part of Sydney and Nick. She was setting the plates on the counter with her ear still focused on the news when a piece of news made her heart raced. "... will be giving a speech in the United Nations. Carol Miller is leading the Miller Enterprise into a new,...and that's a home run."
Sydney startled and turned to look at Nick who had changed the channel to sports and then to Disney. She didn't stop him and let the two boys enjoy their favorite show.
"Abbey, you gotta finish it, honey. You are getting too picky nowadays." Sydney complained looking at Abbey who was letting out beans, and all the peanuts out of his plate.
"Sydney, I don't like it, I only want Pancakes." Abbey whispered,
"it's fine, mom. I will protect him if somebody picked on him," Nick said making Sydney furrow her brows.
"No, you will not do anything but inform me or Mrs. Saad," Sydney repeated the same line and she has realized she was using this line a lot especially since Nick was involved in a fight. The fight was over Abbey's protection but Sydney didn't want him involved in any fight at any age. She feared her boy turning into something she doesn't want.
Abbey was 10 months younger than Nick. And Nick never wanted anything but Abbey happy all the time. He loved playing big brother for Abbey given Abbey too, was the only child of his parents.
"We are going to have a lot of fun tonight," Abbey told Nick and Nick too nodded his head vigorously to make him laugh. Looking at her boy happy always made her heart swell. His one smile was enough reason for all of her crazy work schedule. It was unbelievable that he has turned four two months ago and was turning into a perfect man.
A ring on Sydney's cell gave Sydney an excuse from Kid's talk as she spoke, "Yes, Mrs. Saad, Abey is here with us,... I will take him, don't worry,"
Though Abbey always has breakfast with them, Mrs. Saad will always call to make sure and then ask Sydney to drop Abbey along with Nick.
"I don't get why Mrs. Saad always call for Abbey, he is practically in the house,...just in our space." Nick wondered,
"She is Abbey's mother, Nick. She has every right to know about Abbey's whereabouts," Nick made a pout to his mother's explanation. He always wanted Abbey to be part of his family. It would have been too perfect but Nick never voiced his thoughts to his mother.
Kids couldn't stop talking about some paint color activity and dance practice while Sydney drove the kids to school.
"Mommy, you promise that you will come," Nick reminded her while kissing her cheek. His small hands touching her always made her pride.
Sydney realized it was important for Nick but doing a job as a full-time assistant for the most renowned lawyer, Mr. Saad doesn't leave her with much time. And, in the end, she was doing it all for Nick but never with Nick. He was always left alone with Mrs. Saad and Abbey.
Driving her car through the busiest streets in Manhattan she pulled her small car in the parking lot and was ten minutes earlier to her job. But the moment she entered her little private space outside Mr. Saad's spacious office a taunt was awaiting her.
"You do realize you are not Mrs. Miller, anymore?" Sydney looked at Mrs. Saad's pouting mouth that reflected her disappointment.
"Yes, Mrs. Saad. I realize I am not Mrs. Miller anymore but I have almost twelve errands to attend in twenty minutes for your husband and will be very thankful if you can leave my place for me to start scheduling things." Sydney passed a smile while hanging her coat.
"We need to talk," Mrs. Saad complained getting out of her chair,
"We can do at the lunch break," Sydney tried to reason,
"No, Sydney. This is the sixth time in the last four months. Nick deserves that money. You should buy him things or save for his college instead of spending it to pay the lawyer's fee for other people. We work here, this is not the place to make donations." Mrs. Saad complained,
"I will try to pay attention to your advice if I could. But let's do all the talk at lunchtime." Sydney passed her a smile just for the sake of letting this matter slide,
Not fifteen minutes later she got a call from Mr. Saad and remained at the beck and call for him. Wearing high heels and standing for hours while Mr. Saad made her note a plethora of things was the job she was doing for more than three years now.
She approached the couple when she couldn't reach Jasper. And knowing that she lost her Noah made her lost all the hopes and if it wasn't for Nick around she didn't know how she would have live.
Mr. and Mrs. Saad never wanted her to work and suggested to babysit Abbey. They owed Jasper a big time and wanted to do a lot for Sydney. But Sydney soon realized it wasn't enough if she wanted to build something for her Nick all by herself and when she tried to look for jobs Mr. Saad provided her with the opportunity that she too proved she can earn.
On the other side, Mr. Saad always wanted an assistant who never complains of workload or exhibit negligence.
Mr. Saad had three meetings and one lunch. The day was packed but it was Friday and Sydney knew that Mr. Saad was supposed to join the family outing too but was disappointed when they both came across an edgy client.
"I hate such people," Sydney heard Mr. Saad hissing under his breath as he went into the parking lot and Sydney followed him to place his bag in his Bentley. She stood until she saw the car getting out of the parking lot and almost ran to get to her small car too. She set the front mirror that reflected her thick-rimmed glasses and black dyed hair that was pulled into a tight bun.
Her cell didn't have any missed call indicating Nick hasn't given up on her. She was driving through the heavy traffic when she got a call from Mrs. Saad and that spread a smile on her lips. She knew Nick was getting impatient.
"Hello," She answered,
"Sydney, please drive to home, Nick got his arm hurt, he is fine but please get back soon, he is missing you," Sydney heard the voice and got a surge of panic.
"Stay with him," Sydney requested but her voice seemed to come out of a hollow,
"Are you fine? Sydney?" Sydney heard Mrs. Saad,
The mere thought of having Nick in pain was enough to make her insane.
She tried to recall what her therapist suggests and focused on her breathing. The honks made her get out of her state. She barely managed to not get hit two times in her drive back home. Nick had got a cut on his arm while saving Abbey from falling. Though he didn't cry when Sydney held him, his damp lashes were enough to squeeze Sydney's heart.
"I am so sorry," Sydney whispered holding his little frame and whispered sweet things in his ear. She told him he was safe and promised she will protect him while hot tears smeared her face. Whenever she held him it always rejuvenated her.
"No, mommy, I am sorry," Nick said with a pout. He knew he disappointed his mom.
"I am fine, Nick. I know you are my brave kid." She replied and made him sleep.
Her feet were heavy when she got out of Nick's room and didn't switch on the lights when she got in hers. No matter how much she tried all she could recall was her twins' crying. Crying for their mom. Crying to be saved. There was no picture to recall how they looked but only one clear memory. She still remembers how soft and tiny her baby girl's hands were and the green color eyes his boy had. Just like her.
Those few moments she spent holding them or feeding them were her only treasure.
She cried herself to sleep and dream about her twins. She dreamed about the same clearing Noah took her to and saw her Noah and twins playing there. She called them to make her presence known and kids ran to her with their small legs. She couldn't see their faces but their arms wrapping around her neck were too real to ignore. Waking up she groaned and hated that it was just a dream. But this dream was enough to tell her that her kids were safe. Safe from this cruel world and with their father growing perfectly healthy.
She made breakfast for Nick and took him to her office because she wanted to keep him close. Nick was always on his best behavior and played games or did colors without bothering Sydney at all. The lunchtime struck and she was busy talking to Mrs. Saad when she was hit with a thought. She saw the clearing in her dream and recalled how Noah always wanted to take his kids to this place. She knew it was so stupid but what if she could feel them there. What if they are always there for her to visit. She knew it was so stupid of her but she typed an application for the leaves and booked a ticket for two. It was the first time she would be taking Nick somewhere nice. She knew that place was Miller's but maybe she could get a chance to visit it. In two days she managed to reserve a cabin house that was most close to that hill.
It was the place where she lost Noah. It was the place where she lost her twins but maybe it was the place she owes a visit for them.
"Where are we going, mama?" Nick asked when she was packing their stuff.
"To see what heaven looks like,"