Getting away she looked at his eyes that had bags underneath and this made her whisper to his lips, "You look like a mess," Not caring what she had said he kissed her to savor what heavens feel like.
"I am so sorry," He whispered again but frustrated at the loss of connection she came to take his mouth in a feverish kiss while a tear slipped across her right cheek.
"How are they doing?" He asked grazing his hand on her belly.
"You can ask. They missed their dad a lot and literally beg me to see you," She said looking at his face while her eyes were brimmed with tears that even a blink made many to spill on her cheek. Looking at her face he held her head to his chest and she cried harder.
"I hate you, Noah. I hate you so much." She complained fisting his shirt.
"I know I deserve to be hated." He said before pecking her hard on her head. Getting away she looked at his face and then to his mouth. He leaned in for a kiss that she too received coming up. His lips felt the same, warm, soft and dominating. Their warm touch made her lost all the reasons to think about any other thing but him.
His hand on her huge belly made her touch her belly too to feel the kick and rambling. This made them break the kiss and look at her belly that had her own movement.
"They have grown so big in this past week," He whispered looking at her belly before coming down to shower small kisses on the huge curve as she rested her tired back on the pillow.
She looked at his darkened eyes grazing her body, "And they have grown big too,"
She inhaled looking at his hands working on her buttons in front and in seconds found her tender breasts be fondled by his hands. "You want a massage?" He asked looking up and that sounded like music to her aching body.
Noah cared about her but all she wanted was to have the closure she wanted to have for so long. She wanted him to share his ghosts with her. Anything in the day that can make him recalls Sarah. She wanted to build something that can sustain longer. But Noah always seemed so happy and took care of her all the time that she couldn't have the heart to ask him any questions or even tell him that she knew about his past now.
He only got to the office to attend to things he can't manage from home while Sydney always felt too tired to lift a finger while her thoughts were consumed thinking something bad would happen. She was in her eighth month and hoping to have the talk after she delivers her twins. It didn't stop her from observing Noah but nothing in him told her that he misses his past.
"You want something," Noah asked and she too realized she was staring at him more than necessary.
"No," She said before resuming her meal.
"I was planning to set the room for kids you can tell if you have something in your mind," Noah asked her hoping she was feeling good but looking at her lost self staring at her plate he called again,
"Sydney?"
"Yea?" She answered looking at him confused,
"Are you alright?" His voice had concerns.
"Yea, I am just exhausted. Every day feels so same." She paused before continuing, "I really hope everything happens soon and well."
Her lips curled up when she found her hand disappearing in his big warm hand.
"Everything will be perfect. We can move somewhere else. You might like the change." Noah offered,
"No, your work is easy from here, plus I love having you around me," Sydney replied,
"Forget about work, Sydney. You remember the doctor has asked you to not worry about anything,"
"And that's another thing to worry about Noah, I can't stop worrying about,...you know the big day,..." She seemed shaky and tense.
Silence fell upon the table before she added without any humor. "Just tell them that I loved them the most. Tell them that I loved them more than I loved their father. Just lie, you hear me? You can't tell my kids that their mother loved them any less than their father."
It wasn't the first time that she came up with the topic this week. He realizes that her fear stemmed from the fact that she has lived her whole life. A fact that was nothing but a horrible lie. She was never responsible for her mother's death because she was killed. He realizes that she deserves to know but wanted her to worry less before her delivery but one look at her tense and shaky body nowadays made him question his decision.
"Sydney," He was cautious, "nothing will happen to you," He added,
"I know," she answered showing the lack of interest to whatever Noah had to offer.
"Your mother's death was not your mistake." He added,
"I know, Noah. You have already told me this,...but if it wasn't for me,..."
"She was killed." Before she could blame herself one more time he cut her off.
His voice was low and she was sure he doesn't know a thing. "Noah, that's not possible. My father told me,..."
"Your father didn't know." His voice was soft but he knew she was shocked and needed answers.
"Who killed,..."
"It was Arthur Hunt. He got to know,..." Before Noah could explain the fork dropping on her plate made him stop.
"You know him, How?" She seemed shocked,
"Sydney, you were kidnapped by him. Following you I got him. And,..."
"And he told you lies," She seemed bitter but inside she was breaking. She knew he was a killer but why her mother. What her mother ever did to him? What I ever did to him? She tried to contain her thoughts because the last thing she wanted was for Noah to know anything about her past.
"He is a lair and, and psychotic." She said getting up and taking small steps to her room. I am so sorry, I am so sorry, mom. I couldn't do anything. These were her thoughts before darkness engulfed her. She heard Noah calling her name but couldn't answer him. She wanted to tell him that she is fine. She wanted to tell him not to worry about her but couldn't.
Waking up she found herself in covers. Looking up she saw Noah looking at her.
"Take rest, I am here and I will always be here," She saw Noah saying and broke into sobs.
"Noah, she didn't deserve it. No one deserves this."
"I know, I am sorry, Sydney." He patted her shoulder as she cried hiding her face in his chest.
"What else do you know?" She asked in her hoarse voice.
"Abigail and Addison came to see me when I was looking for you in France." It was the only thing he provided for her answer.
He felt her body tense and added, "Sydney, I know but I know nothing. Because not anyone else can ever explain what you went through and how you went through it."
He wanted her to say something or to do anything but she let her face buried in his chest.
"Sydney, I love you. You know that right?" He said to not have any response again,
"You were small. It wasn't your fault." He whispered hoping she could open up.
"Noah, I want something safe for my kids. Somewhere nothing bad can ever touch them." She whimpered,
"I wish there could be a place like this but this is not the case, Sydney. Life is bitter but what I can promise is to make them far stronger than anything coming to their way."
"Promise?" She asked and Noah couldn't help and repeat, "Promise." He hoped for a day when she can come out of her shell and tell him everything bottled inside her but knew it can wait.
"I want to show you something," He said and she looked at him puzzled and noticed that it wasn't their room.
"Come on," He said carefully guiding her in their new place. And what seems as a backyard had a huge clearing ahead.
"It's beautiful," she said looking at the beautiful sunrise but then realizing something turned to Noah.
"What about your work? And don't tell me you are trying to deliver the babies." She warned,
"I am taking a leave and I have arranged a doctor, nurses and much other staff in our not so small house you have got here."
She had a suspicion in her eyes to which Noah replied, "Everyone is sleeping. It's quite early."
And realizing why she was tense he held her hand. "I will be by your side all the time. You won't be alone and together we can do this."
This time she offered him a genuine smile. They spent the day exploring some parts of that huge clearing. Noah shared how this place was always his favorite since he was a child and always wanted to come here with his kids for camping. She realized they were not too far from the city as it was just an hour's drive. Noah told her how it was so good for kids because the jungle nearby didn't have any wild animals.
In the coming days, they decorated the room with paintings of sky blue clouds on the wall and white curtains. Noah wanted to have a jungle theme but Sydney preferred elegance. And, they decided for their kids to choose in the future their favorite colors.
Telling Sydney about the fact behind her mother's death had a very positive outcome. She never mentioned her death or how she is not going to be around when her kids grow.
One morning, when they started the count down for the last seven days, she noticed Noah taking longer in his bath but when he came out he seems a changed man. He had his beard shaved and look a lot younger.
"Why?" Sydney cried out in shock. "I loved your beard, I so wanted our kids to play with your beard, why you would do that?"
"I wanted to look different when I welcome my kids. I didn't know you wouldn't like it," Looking at his disappointed look she added, "No! I am sorry, it's just you look more handsome and I couldn't handle it,"
"You are lying," He said pouring some orange juice for her, and this made Sydney laugh,
"No, it's like I have become wife to a very new person." She tried to say amidst controlling her laugh.
"I think I should kiss you again," He said and came to take her lips in a long feverish kiss.
"Noah, you seem so different that it hurts. I am going to miss my Noah." She joked and he promises to let his beard and hair grow just fine.
"I am going to take my kids here if we ever had any fights," Noah informed,
"Why are you telling me this?" She asked.
"So, you know where to look for me," He added.
Sydney had come onto great terms to the doctor named Karin and would listen to her carefully for whatever tips she would tell Sydney to make her ready for what happens and what she could feel during her time.
Carrying life was tiring and scaring but not much when your hand is held by the person who assures that everything will be good. It makes you feel safe and above all, it can make you forget how life actually works.
It was after two days when Sydney was scared and thrilled at the same time. They were busy listening to Sydney's favorite band when Noah got a call from his office and left promising to come back by evening. She spent her time in the clearing listening to Noah's playlist when she got interrupted by a call on her phone.
"Hello," She answered,
"Mrs. Miller, Mr. Miller was in an accident. He has been shifted to ICU. Please, make sure to come here safe." A voice she didn't recognize told her.
Walking to her house was an effort with her feet going numb. He has promised to be by my side, forever. He can't leave me. Oh God, please, please don't take him away.
She ordered one of the staff to drive for her. She could hear her heart beating wildly but she knew she had to have her nerves in control. They only drove for a mere five minutes out of the Miller property when their car was stopped by another black car coming from ahead. And, before she could process she got startled with a gunshot with his driver falling lifelessly afterward. She looked ahead to notice Lucifer coming to her car with an angry face. The other three men only stayed ahead while she saw Lucifer coming to open the door of her car. She fears the safety of her kids and opening the other door tried to get out carefully.
"What the hell do you want?... Please leave me," She cried out in anger only to request him in the end.
She knew he will not hear any of her pleas so turning around she tried to take long steps to her place. But soon felt an arm around her neck.
"Enough! You will only do more damage." He said turning her around to make her look at her car.
"That is on you, and if you don't want any other life to go to waste you will be obedient." She didn't hear him and only struggled harder.
"Please, leave me," She fears for her kid's safety.
"That is not going to happen, ever." He added the last word as a whisper in her ear making her shiver like a leaf. She was about to plead him again with her teary eyes when a car coming from ahead took their attention. Sydney recognized the car. It was Noah's.
"Noah!" She cried out with a little bit of relief when she noticed one of the three people coming out of the car was her Noah who seemed perfectly fine.
The two men around Noah were trying to cover his body while having their guns pointed at Lucifer and his three men.
"I am faster, I assure you," Lucifer screamed out holding a gun to Sydney's head. Sydney signaled Noah shaking her head in no when Noah ordered his men to lower their guns.
"Now, the mighty Noah! You! Get on your fucking knees." Sydney shivered to Lucifer's voice resonating in her ear and told Noah, "No, Noah! Run, please, he will kill you, Noah!," No matter how loud she screamed Noah seemed to lost his hearing. But when he couldn't ignore, he looked at Sydney and told her that she will be safe. This relaxed her before Lucifer whispered in her ear. "I have to kill him, you will never love me if he is breathing."
Everything happened in a matter of seconds. She saw Lucifer about to fire and made his hand to lose the focus. The shot went aimless and taking a chance Noah made the run to hold Sydney who was pushed by Lucifer in anger. She opened her eyes to gunshots in Noah's arms this time and looked at her left to see Noah's men groaning on the ground before she felt Noah's hold getting weak. "Noah," She said before trying to help him stay straight but he only went down with a thud.
"Noah?" There was nothing his closed eyes and lifeless hands getting cold could give.
"I will be near," His promise resonated in her mind as she held his hand tighter to keep it warm.
"Help," She noticed his head bleeding and called for help with her dry throat but what she got instead was a savage hold on her shoulder while she felt her water broke.