Her eyes fluttered as the morning rays seep through the large thin white curtains. Rubbing her eyes she woke up while she felt her babies hyperactive. A smile adorned her lips, "Good morning," She chirped but soon her curled lips fell into a frown. All the events rushed into her mind as she comes down from her bed to walk to her window. The view was now a bittersweet memory as the sound of shore and sea birds hit her ear.
There wasn't a single moment when she could feel content with this place but it was the arrangement she asked for, It was needed Sydney, just focus! He is not going to be around all the time from now on and it's his fault,....but my loss, she answered that thought.
A knock on the door made her step out of her thoughts as she answered, "Yes,"
"I would suggest you have something it's been a lot of time," She looked at Jasper and gave him a nod,
She felt too tired. This seventh month was being too cruel with all this swelling and sourness in her limbs.
Having her breakfast alone she kept on convincing herself that he wasn't worth it. She fears to have him like this again or worse he would raise his hand on her little ones.
She, herself decided not to ask for his reasons but was disappointed too for him not even trying to explain. I had ears he could have explained or held me and tell me that nothing like this will ever happen. She thought,
Flashback (5 days ago,)
"What if I say I don't want to live with you? And will try to run for any chance I get?" I said because he would be a fool if I would let him sleep right beside me fully knowing he can kill me while I sleep.
Silence prevailed. I looked at his frozen body at the rooms' doorframe.
"Sydney,...I am sorry, I,.."
"Sorry? This is all you got to say?" I was broken and wanted to cry out this whole burden I had kept inside. I didn't want to be weak in front of him but this burden was just too much to hold. I was sobbing hard when I hear him say,
"Please, don't do this, you! I am not worth it, Sydney. You,..." I saw him coming to my side as he said while squatting down beside me,
"I HATE YOU!" I cried out as I got out of my bed wincing and carefully holding my belly.
"Just don't cry, Tell me what I do, Sydney...Just tell me. I am so clueless." His voice came out cracked with his eyes closed and lips pursed. I know he was hurt, his ego was hurt but I couldn't care less when I said,
"I want you to disappear from my life. like. you. never. happened. I want a life with my kids where I can live without any cruel people making me scared for the life of my kids. I want them safe. For God's sake, I want them safe," I cried out saying the last of sentences falling to the floor.
"I will arrange that, trust me." He said and left.
Flashback ends.
The next morning, Jasper took her on the island she owned. She realized she didn't want it or anything, now. And not only this, Noah was transferring 12% from his shares to her name. She didn't oppose believing that's her kids' rights but couldn't help and hope for a situation where she doesn't have to depend on anything that she hasn't earned.
She went for a walk in the evening. With her bare feet on the beach all, she could recall when she came here with Noah for the very first time or his monster face from the night when she lost every last shred of faith in humanity. She knew she shouldn't go there ever but everything for her was burnt down to ashes that night.
I loved him and I didn't deserve it but it doesn't get better no matter what. The pain in her chest made her thought.
Leaning to the bedpost she idly looked out of the window when she heard another knock on the door. "Mrs. Miller, there is someone to see you," She saw Jasper appearing and when his words registered she had her eyebrows knitted,
"Who?" She asked,
"Someone you should see," was his answer,
"Noah?" She asked and Jasper did notice hope in her voice before he had to shook his head in no,
"Mr. Miller doesn't know about this, this is someone I have called," his answer made Sydney even more puzzled when she asked,
"Do I know this person? Is this someone from Noah's family?"
"No, Mrs. Miller, I will show her guest room and you can talk in the morning if you want to," Jasper offered to look at her tired self to which Sydney answered after a minute,
"Show her our guest room I will come at the dinner,"
"Very well," Jasper giving a nod left,
Though she felt tired to even lift a finger, she combed her hair into a side braid and changed her wrinkled outfit to a navy light blue frock that reached her feet.
She tried to figure out who it could be but then her trust in Jasper didn't let her worry much when she came out of her room to walk to their dining area.
She saw someone having her back to her but when she was closed enough she saw that guest getting up from her place and turned around,
The moment Sydney recognized the face she was stopped in her track. The woman standing in front of her was the same person Noah was kissing in that big frame in the South wing.
"You?" Sydney was at a loss of words when that woman came ahead and introduced herself as
"Hello, I am Grace Rodríguez.
"Hello," Sydney felt her throat dry when that woman who had an alluring smile and a beautiful mole on her cheek extended her hand for Sydney to shake. She did manage to shake that hand and walk to the table while a lot of questions roamed in her brain,
Why is she here? Is Noah getting back to her Ex? How could he?
Sydney's face was alarmed and full of doubts when she took a seat on the head chair. It was one of the reasons that made Grace speak for her agenda before she intended to,
"I am Noah's childhood friend,..."
"I see," Sydney's voice cracked and it was the same time when Grace placed her hands over the table and Sydney saw the wedding band. For some unknown reason that made Sydney look at her with more confidence.
"Woah, I didn't know you two were expecting, Congratulations."
"Thank you, I, I am happy to have you here,...Grace. I hope you have a good time here." Sydney offered but knew better than her visit here be about vacationing.
"Jasper," Grace said quietly and that made Jasper appear out of blue.
This made Sydney realize that Grace was indeed someone so close to Noah because she was aware of how Jasper worked,
"I am starving and I want a steak just like old times." Grace was more chirpy than before and for a part, Sydney didn't care as long as that woman had that wedding band.
"...When Jasper asked me to come and see you I was so unsure but I am glad that I came," Grace said in her ongoing rant.
Until now, Sydney knew that she had a husband named Michael and a three-year-old boy. When Grace mentioned an old memory from their childhood Sydney couldn't help but ask,
"Why you and Michael never visit?" Sydney's question made that wide all teeth smile on Grace's to shrink. She gulped and blinked a few time before answering,
"For the same reasons, he never mentions or calls us anymore." But then Grace gave a humorless laugh before saying, "Things happened Sydney like it always happened,"
Sydney could feel the discomfort in Grace's eyes so she dropped the topic and took her near to the fireplace after dinner. Grace looked deep in thoughts holding a flute while Sydney took her supplemental drink. Sydney couldn't care any less because Grace was someone happily married and indeed not a threat but she needed to know more. She wanted to know why they broke up, and this is the reason that she broke the silence.
"Why you two broke up?" This made Grace look at her and Sydney added, "You and Noah were together right?"
"Did Noah talk about me?" Grace asked with her eyes filled with hope,
"No, I saw a picture of you two," Sydney recalled,
"I can't recall any such picture that would make you think this way?" Lost in her thoughts Grace pouted but then recalling something she silently nodded,
"Yea, you must be, right? Jasper took me here to talk about Noah's past because we all know he will never tell but,..."
"What are you talking about?" Sydney couldn't help but cut her blabbering in half,
"I, I don't think you should be worrying about anything at all in this state. Just know that I am someone you can trust and I want all the good things for you and Noah." "Sydney,..." She took a deep breath before adding, "I know Noah must have been a jerk to make you leave him but can you give him a chance." Her request took Sydney by surprise, "I don't want to talk about it but I am not leaving him," Sydney tried to cover because the last thing she wanted was to share her marital failures with strangers.
"That's a relief," Grace sighed leaning to the chair,
Silence ruled around them apparently but inside Sydney, a storm was stirring. If this woman was so relaxed after their breakup, why Noah still had their kissing picture in their South wing, It was the question that kept bothering her but she didn't want to give away how impatient she was to know about her relationship with Noah in the past.
"I was with Noah as long as I can go into my memory lane. It was always three of us, Noah, me and Michael."
"These two were invited on my birthday when I was three," Grace seems lost, sad and too drunk.
"That's nice," Sydney added but that made Grace's expression go bitter. "I wish it were like old times but nothing remained the same."
"What happened?" Sydney asked,
"Sarah happened, my twin sister that everyone in my family was looking for,"
"Sarah?" Sydney asked but her mind worked and made Sydney realizes that it wasn't Grace in that picture but Sarah.
"Noah and I were the only ones in school who didn't have any mother since our birth. We were rich kids with a lot of issues. We two were the only kids accompanied by our butlers instead of real parents or family. I still remember how I hated everything about the school and even Noah. He was the reason that I was not the only one in our batch without parents. Stupid! right?" Grace laughed hysterically throwing her arm in the air.
"I remember Michael asking us to attend his birthday. Noah and I only accepted because we both were forced by our butlers. My nanny said that it was rude and I have to go because Michael attended mine. When Michael was asked to make a team he chose Noah and me. Everything changed from that day forward. We were always at Michael's place crashing and vacationing with his parents. Our trio was well known and would have made a powerful business venture. This is what we hear people talk about. Michael was always respectful and considerate while Noah and I were the rude ones always leaving the mess for him to clear behind us."
Grace laughed like she recalled something, "Noah's anger issue was too bad. He was that alpha male who was always short on the patient. We were sixteen when he beat the shit out of our principal. No! Let me stop you before you think of any other thing. That principal was harassing a girl transferred to our school on scholarship. And, when Michael asked me to do something about it I punched him too. Noah got out of the office followed by me while Michael called for the ambulance. You see, this is the reason I love Michael to bits."
"Wow, you seem to have quite a fun years together," Sydney added when Grace fell silent.
"It was the same day when Sarah said yes to Noah finally, we were the happiest,..." Grace gulped trailing off,
"Finally we saw Noah leaving us more and we were not required much to see him bawling and making philosophies over Sarah's every single act. He was spellbound by her. I remember when I was eight and made to see a girl who was my replica. But she didn't have the mole on the face. She was always silent and we took her as an introvert. Her presence always made Noah more civil." Sydney saw Grace's lips curled up a little more. "Sarah, Sarah Sarah,....Sarah is a Taboo, Sydney. We don't like talking about her. I wish she never happened." Seeing Grace shedding tears Sydney got out of her place to hold her head in her arms.
"It's fine, you don't need to talk about her." Sydney offered,
"No, Sydney, You need to know. I owe Noah, this much and a lot more." She said sobbing.
"What happened, Grace?" Sydney knew something so bad happened. Something that should have not happened.
"Sarah always felt more comfortable talking to Michael but that too wasn't much. I was always with Noah and Michael and if my sister wasn't fine with my friends I knew I wasn't going to like her. I did care about her but she was always silent. But now with Noah and Sarah together I was relaxed more than ever. It felt like everything was so into the place. Little did anyone know that nothing was into place." Grace added deep in her thoughts while Sydney patted her shoulder.
"Noah started flying with Sarah everywhere. They practically left Mexico. We only saw them once in a month for a few hours before they would leave for another destination. They sign up for a degree in the USA in mass media and Noah chose music just to share a class with her. Somewhere Michael and I were already aware that Noah is destined to live in the USA forever because his dad lived here. He already knew that he was supposed to leave his grandma to shift to states forever. But Sarah didn't want to, so,...he decided that he will shift his all business to Mexico where we four spent our most of the lives. The place that was the only known home. I,...Micheal,..." Grace again trailed off thinking about all the events.
"Michael planned to propose me with an already planned engagement. He called Noah and Sarah to arrive. It was the best and worst day of my life. I was surprised to see our all friends and family around when Michael proposed me for the marriage. But of course, Noah being Noah kept on bragging about how he is going to get marry and have kids before us, or how he doesn't plan to invite us because we didn't sync our plans of getting married. We pulled him over how he is smitten by Sarah and has to work for years before she will finally utter, yes. But Sarah was changed this time. To be more precise she looked exactly like me. She dressed and had her style as me while wearing a lot more confidence. I was happy only until I sneak out in the middle of the night to see Michael and find him making out with my sister. I slapped and cursed before walking out of his mansion but he was quick to chase after me. And, when he explained how Sarah posed as me I was shocked. I couldn't believe my sister will plan to,..." Grace was breaking into sobs while Sydney too, took her time before realizing what she had said.
"Michael and I confronted Sarah for her act. It was the first time when she breaks to us that she had feelings for Michael. I will be honest. I wanted to slap her or better take her guts out. There is something known as forbidden.
He was my fiancé, now. And, if she was so into Michael what the hell she was doing with Noah. I knew if Noah gets to know about this, hell will lose. So, Michael and I decided to keep it to ourselves. But as for Sarah, we made her told Noah that he doesn't need to live in Mexico and they can live in the USA. And when Noah didn't agree Michael told Sarah that it's her responsibility that she gets him to agree. They left and I so wanted to believe that everything is fine. Noah was in contact with us and joke about how Sarah was never going to say yes, but there was no way we were going to tell him." Grace was about to say something when Sydney stopped her,
"You should have told him,"
"We paid the price. All of a sudden Sarah said yes. Noah was out of this world. He called us to his engagement day a week before. We stayed at his place in L.A, that he designed because Sarah was not into designing much. Michael and I were living in their place. For their privacy, Noah gave us the North wing while he and Sarah were always in the south wing. The rest of the place was still under renovation. Oh God, I never thought I will talk about this day besides my therapist. But you know, what Sydney, I couldn't tell my therapist the complete truth." Grace stopped like figuring out to reveal what had happened.
"What happened that day, Grace? And where is Sarah now?" Sydney asked.
"I don't know if I should tell you or not. Some things are meant to be buried forever." She whispered as she hid her face in her hands.
"What is it? Tell me Grace?" Sydney pressed,
"You don't want to know, Sydney. If I tell, you might leave Noah and if I don't tell you now, you might end up spending your whole life with your husband not knowing with what ghosts of a past he has to live with," Grace looked at Sydney silently. She wasn't going to share such dark memories with Sydney if she doesn't want to, "Tell me," Sydney asked,
"Michael was out since morning..." Grace's voice cracked,
"I was bored alone and went to their wing. I realized my mistake when I heard moans and gasping. Taking my buds back into my ear I hit the max and walk out. But what I saw on the lawn took the air out of my lungs. Noah was playing with his dog, Max. I was sure about listening to two people in the room. When Noah started making his way in I stopped him in the middle and tried to buy some more time to my cheating sister. I swear on my son, Sydney I was not hiding it for my sister but Noah. When we got in I found my sister in the kitchen making something for lunch. I tried to tell myself that I was hearing things but when I saw her a little edgy and lost. I started being more suspicious. I couldn't make myself more than a bite and the juice she offered I wasted the glass in the plant nearby while I tried to tell myself that Sarah was watching porn or something. Sydney! You tell me?" Grace looked at her with questions in her eyes.
"How I was ever supposed to figure out that she was planning to kill me and Noah and had rented a man for her help and even letting that person use her body?" The words from Grace's mouth made Sydney gasp while tears welled up in her eyes. With her mouth on her hand, Sydney walked back to her chair because she felt too numb to risk standing any longer.
"What,...How you came to know? How Noah take it? I mean this news?" Sydney asked,
"I was having a shower when I felt someone's presence at my back. Before I could react someone started suffocating me with some plastic over my head. I elbowed him and when he left me I kicked him in his balls. I am no fighter Sydney, it was just reaction. I knew I had fewer chances so I did the sure thing. I ran out of the room,...naked but I didn't forget to lock the door. I knew I had to walk before I could make my way to my family and I was so scared I forgot to call for help. The living room was empty and my voice was not coming out of fear, so I broke the vase to call for help. "What's wrong with you?" I saw Noah shocked looking at me as he came out of his wing in his white shirt and black jeans while I too realizing my state fell to the floor.
"Kill,..." I only managed when I heard Noah gasping. Only a few feet away I saw Noah looking at my sister with wide eyes when she stabbed his back.
"You have to go, Noah. Please go, Michael loves you too so you and Grace must go," And, to finish him fast she took the knife out to stab him twice again. I tried to get up but I saw her coming with a knife to me and that was enough for me to cower away. I tried to call Noah for my help but couldn't.
I could see my end when I saw Noah pulling her hair. She tried to put up a fight with Noah maybe she was convinced she can handle injured Noah plus she had given something in the food too. I saw Noah trying to get her to her senses but when she didn't stop try fighting I saw Noah punching her face as he cried out why over and over again. She had broken facial bones when I saw Noah bawling on the floor crying out hard but it didn't go for long as I saw Noah slowly losing his conscience. I tried to tell Noah to hang on as I made my way to the phone. I knew I had to get my shit together because Noah needed help and there was a freaking killer in our house. I tried to dial for help but it was out of service while my cellphone was in my room. I fished out the gun from the kitchen counter that I have seen before. Holding the gun I was trying to figure out about the use when I saw the place where Sarah was lying unconscious empty. And before I could figure out I was stabbed by Sarah. The force made that gun fell out of my hand. I tried to hold her hand when she came for the second time. But before she could slit my throat Noah shot her."
"Sarah died?... Sarah got killed by Noah?" Sydney asked hoping the answer to be no,
"I,...I am sorry, Noah was too deep in his sorrow and knowing that we already knew made the matter even worse. He didn't let us explain anything." Grace hiccupped breaking into tears. The last thing she ever wanted was to talk to someone over this incident, ever.
"Michael, regret not telling Noah when there was still time and me too, Sydney. And every single day we live to regret our decision." Grace seemed genuine and sad.
On the other side, Sydney didn't know what to think or say. On one side she felt extremely sad for Noah to see all of this. She could feel his pain. Knowing that the person you loved most never loved you and knowing that you were never loved and were kept a fool was heartbreaking. She didn't want to imagine a life where you had the memory to reminisce of killing someone you had loved most. But at the same time, she couldn't ignore the fact that Noah had killed a person. A living human being no matter what the situation was. Sydney felt tons of weight on her shoulders and soul when she got up from her place.
"You should rest I hope you will feel free to ask for anything," Sydney could only manage as she tried hard not to think about anything.
One of the maids came to arrange the hot bath for Sydney at her request. Getting out of her outfit she let the hot water engulf her. For eternity she wanted to forget everything and sink into this warm water losing every last of her conscience. She wanted to scream for Noah. She wanted to hug him and tell him how much she loved him. But for now, she just wanted to feel warm or to be lost.
She didn't realize the presence of any other being until someone pulled her out of the water.
Startled she gasped opening her eyes and wanted to scream or got away when a hand muffled her possible scream.