2013
Things are going haywire these days. I don't know what to do anymore, how to live and make things work.
Why am I living, what for? I can't pin anything specific that I might have done in the past but I kind of feel awful about my existence.
I guess it's just a phase, it will pass. Sometime soon I'll be happy.
My boyfriend and I are completely having things sorted. It doesn't matter how good things are, it just makes me want to take a rain check and run away from him.
He is just perfect, nothing about him makes me think or feel unhappiness in the slightest bit. There's a catch, I find it annoying to be his girlfriend. Somehow, I think I don't deserve to be one.
Things keep coming to my mind, lately suicidal. But, I try to fend the ideas off!
I have been trying to focus academically. I've this group project which involves having to work with a senior.
He is amazingly intellectual. He gives his orders nice and clear. This is our third group meet and out of a group of 7, I'm the only one who has all the facts ready. The problem is I keep fussing over the presentation.
One of the other member from the group told me to take it slow. She thinks I'm stealing the limelight, taking every credit possible on the first project.
She's right though, it's a group thing and I should not do it individually.
I couldn't care less though, about the fact that she got furious and dashed out of the room like that.
For the fourth meeting, she didn't show up, everyone else did their jobs in haste. I don't want to summon their wrath upon me just yet. I dare not say anything and let them finish whatever they have to say or present.
It's just when I was about to say my piece, our senior mentor stood and came forward.
"Start somewhere, begin with your first step. Everything will eventually fall in place" he said.