I was walking through the school hallway the next day with hurried steps. Granted, I was a bit late for class seeing as I spent too much time in the bathroom and Ji-Hun had abandoned me and headed to class alone.
Walking through the now empty hallway I tried to come up with excuses I could tell my teacher to avoid detention. There was no late slip to save me now, and Ji-Hun wouldn't cooperate if I came up with a lie involving him. As I thought about it I passed by the turn to another hallway. I stopped in the middle of my tracks when I heard familiar voices engaging in a hushed exchange.
"You're being unreasonable."
"Leave me alone Amanda—"
"What? So, you can lead the poor boy on? Don't be a dick, Felix."
I took a handful of steps back, pressing my chest against the cream painted wall before peeping into the hallway I'd walked past a few seconds ago. Felix and Amanda were bickering in hushed tones, but from time to time they'd raise their voice loud enough so that I could hear bits and pieces of their conversation. As I watched them, Amanda suddenly groaned, throwing her hands in the air as she shook her head, letting her red curly hair bounce with the movement.
"He's not a fucking experiment! Don't play with people's emotions. You've been doing that to me for the past year and a half!"
I frowned, feeling my breathing hitch up when I got an idea of what she was talking about.
"I'm not experimenting," Felix said in a tone almost too low for me to pick up. Amanda seemed to start yelling in disbelief until she quieted down to continue bickering with him.
"Look, Amanda," he said in an audible voice as he held on to her shoulders, "I'm not playing with him—"
"Then are you going to date him? Or tell him?" Amanda asked, cutting him mid-sentence. Felix let out a sigh, taking one of his hands away from her shoulder to run through his hair.
"I don't know—"
"You never know Felix—"
"Okay, then what do you want me to say?!" Felix suddenly yelled, taking his hand away from her, and cursing under his breath when he noticed how loud he'd been.
"I like him — well, I think I do? If he's interested then there'll be no harm in dating him—"
"You shouldn't be dating him while 'thinking'. Stop leading people on," Amanda said, emphasizing on the word 'thinking' with quotation marks she made in the air with the manicured red painted fingernails of her index fingers.
"I'm not playing around—"
"That's what you think, but you've been doing exactly that to me for the past year. Okay, maybe you genuinely think it's not playing with people's feelings, but it hurt me, and it's going to hurt him — just stop."
I've heard enough.
I concluded, turning away and making for the stairway that led to the labs upstairs in a fast walk. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage, and the feeling of my clogged throat whenever I tried to breathe through my mouth, but I somehow ignored the urge to break down and continued heading for my IT class.
How late am I?
Fuck that, it's probably halfway through the period already.
I eventually got to class, pushing the door open without saying a word to the teacher as I made for my seat.
"Ben!" My IT teacher called, making me turn a bit so that I could look at him. He stared at me, his mouth was open a bit. He looked like he was about to say something, but he sighed instead, looking away before he shook his head.
"Don't worry, just have a seat," he sighed before turning back to the student he'd been attending to. I muttered a 'thank you' before walking to the desk I shared with Ji-Hun. He gave me a worried look when I sat down and started to unpack my bag.
"Where have you been?" he asked. I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it.
"Your eyes are red."
"I'm aware," I said in a cold tone, pressing the power button on my PC. I could feel Ji-Hun staring at me as I entered the password of my computer. I heard him sigh soon after, and he didn't bother me after that.
The class eventually drew to a close, and I went through the rest of the school day trying not to think of the conversation I overheard Felix and Amanda have. Sure, he'd said he liked me. He didn't lie or anything. I just felt a little anxious and distressed by the way Amanda had framed it. Wasn't it normal to ease into a relationship? I mean, did people expect 'I love you's immediately?
"Don't play with people."
I heard her voice ring in my head as I exchanged my books and headed for Chemistry with Ji-Hun and Wyatt.
The school hours went by and the school day drew to a close. The halls were soon filled with noisy students, which was the usual, and I was left standing by my locker as Ji-Hun changed his books and went through his grey backpack to check if he was leaving anything behind.
"Are you walking home with us today?" Aiyana asked, making me look up from the tiled floor to her. She looked worried, her filled in brows creasing with worry. I rubbed the back of my neck, thinking about it. Before I'd overhead Felix and Amanda, Felix and I had planned to shortlist the people that wanted to beta test the app and website.
Before I could make a decision I heard Felix calling out to me in his sing-song voice. I looked away from Aiyana to search the crowd with my eyes until I spotted Felix wearing a smile as he approached us.
"No," I finally said, making Aiyana nod in understanding before she slipped away from me and left with Ji-Hun and Wyatt.
"How are you?" Felix asked when he got to me, his dark bangs flopping about his oval clean-shaven face. I shrugged, looking away from him and towards the main entrance. In all honesty, I didn't trust myself to speak.
"Fine," I eventually managed. Felix seemed to notice that something was off because I could feel him stare more intently at me. I bit my bottom lip, glancing at my shoes in hopes that he'd look away soon and lead the way out of the school building.
After a while, he did look away, and we were soon moving through the crowd, and heading for the main entrance. We left the school building soon after, then headed straight for his car. We got in, setting up as we watched other people leave the school building while others walked about the compound, played basketball, or talked at corners as the cleaners tried to sweep the emptying parking lot.
"How are you doing?" Felix asked. I didn't answer him, allowing the car's interior to fall into an awkward silence that was only tinted by the sound of the running AC, and the sound of our fingers tapping against our keyboards.
A sigh escaped his lips as he returned his attention to his tab, scrolling through the list of people that had filled the google form we'd sent out to know who was willing to take part in the beta testing.
"Did something happen?" his voice suddenly asked, making my fingers pause over my PC's keyboard. I stared at my screen, shaking my head before I continued typing. I don't want to talk about it — ever.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asked instead, making my face grow hot as I shook my head. Thank God for dark skin. I'd probably be a tomato right now without it.
Felix sighed again as he turned his attention back to his device. An hour passed by and the school parking soon became virtually empty. The students that had been playing in the fenced off basketball court had left, and most people had stopped walking about the compound apart from a select few.
"I guess we're done shortlisting," he said as he shut down his tab, and I did the same with my laptop. He rose a brow when I shoved my laptop into my bag and attempted to get down from his car.
"Wait, let me take you home—"
"I'm fine Felix," I said firmly, looking up to find him staring at me with a confused frown.
"Okay..." he trailed, looking away from me. "I did something wrong, didn't I?"
I didn't bother answering him. I just shut the passenger seat's door before putting on my backpack and heading for the school gates.
I don't want to be an experiment. I scolded myself when a part of me wanted to turn back and head for his car.