Give me 5 more minutes.
No, shut up.
GOD DAMMIT SHUT YOUR ASS UP.
I swing my arm around to hit whatever is talking to me because who the hell likes waking up to something whispering in your ear?
It's not the whispering of sweet nothings either. It's some weird satanic like shit.
Sleeping here better not be like this.
I roll over from my stomach onto my back before I open up my eyes to try and myself up.
Man that sleep fucking sucked. I want to keep laying down so I can wake up but this is so uncomfortable, it's like concrete but with gravel thrown all over the place. Even this squishy sleeping bag is no help here since I can feel it stabbing into my back.
I grumble a bit and pull a small mattress out of my inventory, it takes up most of the small 3 person tent, but as long as I can lay down comfortably I'll be fine. I arch my back and drag the sleeping blanket out from underneath me and place it onto the bed.
Ouch, nope. Yeah nope, that was a mistake. After getting rid of the sleeping bags protection I laid down hard on the small rocks.
I roll quickly onto the bed so that I can escape this bullshit. After putting a lot of effort I finally collapse on the squishy bed and sleeping bag combo. It feels so much better now that I am on something soft and not on those damned rocks.
Little bastards.
I turn over onto my back again and pull out my tablet, so that I can officially start my lazy day wake-up ritual. You may ask why is today a lazy day? Well I still haven't recovered all my stamina so I am taking a break if you don't mind. Can't kill things all the time now can I?
I'll save you the boring parts and just give you a summary of what I do during times like these usually. Step one, read manga or stories on my tablet, manga is the priority since it's easier on the eyes though. Step two, after relaxing and waking up for an hour get up and grab some food that is easy to eat, then immediately return to bed and eat it. Continue reading as long as you have the material to do so until lunch time. Step three, eat a lunch that is heavier than the breakfast and go actually start the day.
Pretty relaxing right? I think so too. So leave me alone while I do so. K? K. Cool.
After hours go by I step out of the tent feeling refreshed.
"It's important to relax every so often."
[Title Acquired
Is there an options menu to turn off these titles? You know what I don't care, it'd be nice if I got a title that was actually nice, like hero, saint, or something like that.
'You expect to get a title like that when you haven't done anything to deserve it?'
...you have a point there, I can't really argue against it either. Fine I don't care as long as I am able to get good titles as well as the bad ones I'll be satisfied.
'Oh don't worry about that then. There are millions of different titles available, most of which are locked behind doing a task over and over again. You're close to unlocking one now actually.'
Oh really? Man, millions of titles though. I wonder if there is one called dog fucker. That would be funny to run into someone who's title is that.
I can imagine it now, Carl 'Dog Fucker' Rodriguez. I see now, titles aren't all bad, and at least I can change my titles around at will.
Ah, that's a nice thought. Fuck you Carl.
I put everything in the tent back into my inventory and look around at the hallway I ended up passing out in.
Hm, that is a wall made of dead goblins, and I must say, it is quite tasteless. Well it would explain why they got so upset at me, I literally used their friends and family to stop them from attacking me all at once.
Oh well.
I start grabbing all the broken weapons, intact weapons, and bodies so that they all go into my inventory. I can't help but think that the goblins will be useful eventually. Maybe not now, but one day.
Their broken swords will be useful too, if there is anything I've learned from video games it's that I need to smelt them down into ingots then make a sword of broken swords.
I just came up with that name on the spot but I will admit, it does not sound too bad. I like that name.
Man, I sure did kill a lot more goblins that I thought I did. No wonder I gained 4 levels. Man if each floor is like this I will gain levels like crazy, I'll take it without a doubt.
After picking up all the bits and pieces strewn about I start walking down the path with all these twists and turns, but before I reach the door I notice that the map has a small room next to a side of the hallway.
Secret room? Yes please, gimme mah lootz.
I tap on the area where the room's entrance is supposed to be and it's suddenly makes a sound like I had knocked on wood. Well, it's definitely fake.
It looks and feels so real though? What an interesting secret room entrance.
I push on it a bit and it swings open revealing a tiny brown box made of wood. It's about a foot- er- about 30 centimeters by 15 by 15. You know what fuck it, it's too weird to describe things in centimeters. It's a foot by half a foot by half a foot. There.
I tried doing it in metric but I had to actually pull out a ruler. I wish I was joking.
Well I'll keep trying, but for right now I still can't help but describe in the imperial system.
Wait... the box, that's why I was on this rant. I'm sorry I can't help myself sometimes.
I pick up the box, it's not too heavy, about 5 to 10 pounds I'd say? Don't even ask me to change that to kilograms. All I would think of being able to say is 1 or 2 maybe and that would probably be wrong.
I open up the box and there are two little phials of red liquid, one of a blue liquid, and one of green.
Well time to give my [Analysis] skill some much needed exercise.
=============================
Health potion(Minor)
Gain 5 health points upon ingestion
Regeneration Potion(Minor)
Regenerate 1 lost health every ten seconds for 3 minutes
Refined Calypso Cobra Venom(Medium)
Damages health by 1 point every 3 seconds for 2 minutes
=============================
Ooh, fancy.
Now I can be truly edgy by applying this poison to my blade when I want to kill a strong opponent. It pretty much kill the goblins in less than a minute if I could slice each of them once, but that's a waste since I can kill them in one hit anyway.
Well I'll put these and the box in my inventory.
What you think a box is safe from my looting?
FOOLS I WOULD LOOT THEIR SOULS IF I COULD... I mean, looting is an important part of the RPG experience.
One does not simply go through a dungeon and not loot, especially if you have an unlimited inventory.
I leave the secret area and head towards the boss room. Let's see how the 3rd boss is going to be. I'm still missing some cliche goblin types, goblin archers, goblin riders, goblin mages, goblin king, goblin spear-men, and probably a few more types.
I sneak into the door again, but this time, I am going to be smart.
I wedge a shit ton of sticks into the door so that it does slam shut, then I put a few goblin hands in between the door frame and the door so that it can't close even more.
Also please not that when I say a few hands, I really mean I left a pile of them at least half a meter high.
YES I DID IT. I USED THE METRIC SYSTEM WITHOUT THINKING FOR ONCE.
I mean, um. Go me?
Shit, well now that the door is fine I start sneaking towards the center of the room when all of a sudden I hear a loud noise.
*Schlickt*
I turn around and see the door still managed to slam itself, and it took that pile of hands with it, now it's hand soup with some giblets in it.
[Skill Acquired [Nausea Resistance (Minor)]]
Thanks system, that actually does help.
While I was distracted and trying not to vomit though, I was kicked from behind and knocked down!
I roll to the right to dodge the potential follow up strike and scramble to get to my feet.
When I look at the culprit for what kicked me, it was a goblin with a small rusty dagger, he must be a rogue goblin. I'm sure his stat's will be similar to the sword goblin but more focused in strength and dagger handling, so I won't bother looking at them.
I rush towards him as I unsheathe my dagger, after getting within half a meter of him I roll towards him in a tumble so I catch him off guard, and as come out of the tumble I direct my foot to be carried with the momentum so I can swipe his feet off the ground.
He wasn't ready for the move so his daze didn't let him dodge it, he didn't even realize it was too late. I got to my knees after stopping the roll right by the goblin and stabbed him in the heart, or at least where a human heart is. To be safe I also stab him in the throat.
Can't have a goblin still be alive when I think he's dead, now can I?
That was a pretty fun fight, it would have been better if the goblin wasn't counting on his surprise attack to work so much. That's why I try to be better at actual fighting with the weapons, if shit hits the fan, as it always does at some point in these isekai stories, I want to be ready and strong.
It's pointless to only rely on stealth attacks, it's important to know how to fight when you need to as well.
After collecting the goblin and his rusted weapon in my inventory I come to a realization: Who the fuck am I trying to fool? I'm no combat veteran. The only reason I'm good at fighting is because of how many movies and video games I've played that have fighting.
All these moves are thing's that I've seen somewhere else, I just combine all the styles logically to fit how I am, I'm no master of combat that I have the right to look down on a goblin for trying to survive. Well I think he was trying to survive, he could also just be in it for the kill.
Anyways, I should really check my pride. It's not good to be that cocky, I mean what if I fighting something with higher stat's then me and it turns out all the thing's I've been doing are actually stupid?
I'd die. Simple as that, so I shouldn't look down on anyone because they didn't do something how I would have.
I sigh as I head to the next floor, if I'm right then I can expect there to be even more goblins this time with those rogue goblins mixed into their bunch.
After descending and approaching a familiar looking area I pull up the map. How many are the X?
'924'
Yup that is definitely a lot more goblins. Well I should just go and passively regenerate some health before I piss them off so I'm just going to go and sit around a camp fire till I get to full health and SP again then.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Status:
John Arthur
Title:
Level: 17
Strength: 34(+0) [Up 4]
Cunning: 34(+1) [Up 4]
Intelligence: 34(+0) [Up 11 ]
Dexterity: 34(+0) [Up 4]
Endurance: 34(+0) [Up 4]
Luck: 37(+0)[Up 17 ]
Equipment:
Head: None
Chest: T-shirt
Arms: None
Legs: Boxers, Jean pants, Boots
Misc: None
Weapon(s): Knife
HP: 97/102
MP: 102/102
SP: 58/68
XP: 3348/7548