Chereads / What a Cliche adventure / Chapter 14 - Stupid cliche dungeons

Chapter 14 - Stupid cliche dungeons

Those poor slimes didn't stand a chance. The goblins, every single ranged one, unleashed a fury of arrows and spells that killed the slimes in a single hit each.

They didn't drop any loot though when I checked the battle area later, so I just went back to waiting for the rogues to get back, once the goblins saw that I sat back down in my camping chair they started relaxing as well, I gave them some of the goblin tents (pieces of cloth) that I had collected since I feel this will take a while.

After they set up their little campsite I left them an hatchet that I had brought with me so they can chop some wood before I pulled out my tent to take a nap.

After sleeping for... well it doesn't seem like the artificial sunlight in this forest doesn't stop being sunny, so I am going to guess I slept for about 8 hours? That's reasonable given how long I typically sleep for.

I step out and yawn and stretch and hit my head on something which causes me to fall backwards and onto my ass.

[Skill [Pain Resistance(Medium)] is now Level 3]

"What in the fuck?" I sit up and hold my head and look around, all I see is brown. Wait, hold up. Brown?

I look upward and rub my eyes, there's the 'sky'. I look at the brown closer only to discover it's all wood. I turn around and look behind the tent and it's not there. Did they put it in front of my tent to impress me?

I start walking along the wood pile, wall thing, and I notice that it is fucking big. It's twice as tall as me, thick, and it's long.

5 minutes of walking fast go by and I finally reach the end where I can see that each piece of wood is actually a half a meter long, holy shit.

I look around the campground and see a general beating away at a tree that they took down for wood.

Wait, what?

I look outside the campground and see that they have deforested a lot of this region, at least an acre of trees, maybe more. I only gave them a single axe, what the fuck?

I go up to the general and smile as I take away his axe. I nod to let him know, hopefully, that I appreciate it. I then sigh as I store the 20 trees that are still waiting to be processed before I go back to pick up all of this pile of wood.

How did they even stack it up that high?

20 minutes pass before I know it.

You know what I'm sick of this fucking guessing on the time. X! Where is the clock function?

'Informing host. Time function did exist, as did date function. However they were incompatible due to this world being significantly larger than host's world. This world has 34 hour days where there are 15 hours of night and there are 19 hours of day which renders both hosts 12:00 system and the 24:00 system of telling time useless. As for date, this world has 16 months per one rotation around the star but has similar composition to earth due to it being farther away and the star being hotter.'

So can we convert it to a 17:00 system? I mean it sounds weird to have 15 o' clock AM, but I mean if it works it works, I want to know the time. As for the calendar that is no big deal, how many days are in a month?

'User, there are approximately 34.25 days per month which then leads to 548 days per year and 18,632 hours per year.'

Okay, well why not just make the system like the one on earth? Unless they have the concept of weeks here?

'Unknown. Data banks contain aged data form more than several millennia ago, as of that time there were no concepts of weeks and none of months. User's earth is the reason for knowledge of months which enabled the ability to determine time. It is why system made request of 'Kami-sama' to drop us in mid-air.'

Wait, you're the reason I fell mid-air?

'Affirmative'

Bastard.

'Negative. The professor skill is based off various females of different races. Unable to be insulted as a 'bastard'.'

Listen here you sassy fuck... No. Nope, I argued with this before and it didn't turn out well.

So X, can we base the months off of my earth temporarily with 7 days in each week?

'Affirmative. Will temporarily name them Monday through Sunday appropriately.'

Excellent. Now I can tell time, that was pissing me off.

After waiting for a bit a new area on my HUD popped up, just underneath the mini-map I have is now 14:54 PM followed by 15-34-3981.

Is this a Social Security number? It sure looks like one, and wait this world is at least 4,000 years old? Wait, no. X said over several millennia ago, so that means it's much older than this?

I wonder how advanced this world is? I am kind of excited now, especially since there are fantasy races here. I can't wait to get to the adventurers guild and, as stupid as those systems are, become an S rank hero.

I don't plan on hiding how strong I am either, well unless everyone out there is super fucking strong, in which case I will be happy just being a commoner and slowly building up my strength.

But that's for later, I still need to clear this damned dungeon first. After I sit back down from putting all the wood in my inventory I see the group of rogues walk up to me from the campground, a few of them nod and push a friend forward, well I assume he's a friend since this is something I would do with my friends, if they aren't friends then they're just assholes.

The goblin steps forward, bows, and then points toward the west and does a charade of an animal mouth with it's hands. I nod and clap a couple times to get their attention. After they see the rogues talk to me they must realize that it is time to move out so they bring all the tents and stuff I brought out for them to me along with some white berries that they had gathered.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Saint Berry

Gain 5 HP when you ingest it

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Wait just a minute... This may not be much HP that you gain, but if you can make this into a potion... I point at the berries that the goblins gave me, it was a small pile and I want more.

They look down and shake their heads, guess they couldn't find more than this small handful. I call the rogues over to me and send half of them to bring me all the plants that have these berries on them.

Or well that's what I tried to do, moving your hands and pointing can only go so far, you know?

I then put them and the rest of the stuff into my inventory before the rest of the goblins and myself head toward the west to where hopefully the boss monster and the way down is.

After walking for 2 hours I notice a single red dot along the side of the path, if this is a slime I want it. I turn to the right a bit while the goblins are busy marching and see that there is a small green slime on the floor eating some leaves.

I pull out some plastic trash from the food I've eaten and hold it in front of me. The slime sensed it I guess and decided to inch towards it before it started absorbing it. I pulled out a few other pieces of plastic and it absorbs them as well, after 5 or so more pieces of trash it crawls onto my hand and wiggles a bit.

I then got the message that it wants to be a follower and I hit yes. Now I have a garbage disposal, which is pretty handy since I don't wanna fuck this planet over like some of my ancestors did with mine. I pick it up and put it onto my shoulder since it is only about the size of my palm, so it should be fine.

I'm also happy that I got the cute slimes in this world and not the mucus looking ones. Man that would not have been fun, I would have just hid them in my house after I got them, never look at them again.

I keep marching forward with the goblins and after another hour we finally get to the area where the rogue pointed out to me, the other rogues that I sent out also got here before us surprisingly, they had 4 plants with their roots intact (I think). I assume these are saint berry bushes. Most of them however had bags full of these white berries, although one did have a bag full of something that looks like raspberries, I'll forgive him though since they can still be useful.

I put everything into my inventory then point at the cave that we have to enter, all the goblins enter it while maintaining the formation I had set and we cram into the cave. After getting 20 feet I see the boss monster standing in front of the door, it's a green slime that is bigger than the other ones. In fact its stats are exactly the same as the other slime save for endurance and its size.

Wow, I have the archers send out a volley of arrows towards it which destroys its core. After that we just head to the next floor after the archers get the usable arrows.

If they run out of arrows I have good news, I have plenty of wood for it. Even if they wasted the wood and made a single arrow per log I would still have plenty for each to shoot for a week.

We start heading down and I notice once we emerge onto the next floor it looks exactly like the last one, well in that it's a forest. I guess this is the pattern? 10 floors each time? So I have to deal with 12 different sets of patterns? Well 11 now since I got the first one done.

God this is some bullshit cliche. Isn't the dungeon supposed to be tiny and I build it up?

Or I'm supposed to build a Harem so I can delve deeper into the dungeon with them and make all of us broken and rich in the process?

Bullshit tutorials. This is why I always skip them.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

John Arthur

Title:

Level: 25

Strength: 43(+0)

Cunning: 43(+2)

Intelligence: 110(+0)

Dexterity: 43(+0)

Endurance: 54(+0)

Luck: 46(+1)

Equipment:

Head: Goblin King Crown

Chest: T-shirt

Arms: None

Legs: Boxers, Jean pants, Boots

Misc: None

Weapon(s): Knife

HP: 162/162

MP: 287/440

SP: 108/108

XP: 11503/17343