Chereads / What a Cliche adventure / Chapter 7 - Am I a cliche Edgy Protagonist now?

Chapter 7 - Am I a cliche Edgy Protagonist now?

Hmm...

Hmmmmmmmmm....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

'What are you thinking about so intensely?'

Oh hey X. Nice of you to join me.

'I was getting annoyed by your constant hmming'

Thanks for treating my thinking as an annoyance. Follow up question, you can feel now? Also why instead of a generic robotic voice do you know have a slightly feminine robotic voice?

'My skill leveled up thanks to how much I've been speaking to you. Much faster than I thought it would actually'

Well that's probably related to the growth skill, right?

'You know what, you're right. I completely forgot that skill existed.'

...

Aren't you supposed to be smart? Or at least smarter than me?

'How rude, I am smart. I'm a skill created by the last and most powerful God of earth.'

And now you're his fanboy? Give me back the old X who wouldn't shy away from making fun of him.

'Never. I won't change back. It was boring. Now forget about it and tell me what you were thinking so intensely about.'

...don't laugh at me.

'I make absolutely no promises.'

I was wondering 2 things. The first thing is what I should yell to get their attention.

'...What you should yell? Did I hear that right?'

Yeah, you did. Now don't laugh, okay? I wanted something different to yell. Yelling Leroy Jenkins each time will make it lose it's effect, I don't wanna be a one trick pony. I wanna have some pizzazz.

'Pizzazz? What in the world does shouting have to do with Pizzazz?! Art has Pizzazz, going to a concert has pizzazz, what do you think yelling fits in on that spectrum? Yodeling? Are you going to yodel John? If you are let me shut myself off first so I don't have to deal with you and your pizzazz.'

I miss the old X. The one that would reply with 'Affirmative' or 'Understood.'

'Oh, my bad. Let me fix that by adding another statement, understood?'

Why did you ask me if I understood?

'Because I want to know if you understand I don't want to hear you yodel.'

I don't plan on yodeling. Jeez. Does your meanness just grow by astronomical levels each time?

'That's up to you to find out.'

My god, I can't deal with you and your sarcasm right now. I thought that I was bad too.

Silence? Thank sweet baby jaysus.

Okay, so I'll just come up with something on the spot for what to yell. Now for the next question, what weapon should I grind first? My plan is to get max proficiency on a weapon then move onto the next weapon and max it out, then rinse and repeat till everything is maxed out.

If I could I would pick magic in a heartbeat, but sadly I don't know incantations so that's out of the running till I find someone to at least teach me the basics.

Then I have archery that I can train, which is pretty good, but major downside is it's weak to being up close which isn't good for a dungeon, or well at least not this dungeon with all these twists and turns.

Then a sword which is good for all around fighting, the only thing is that it's still affected by the corridors so I can't use it's full power.

The last thing I can think of is a dagger/knife. It's not a bad weapon, it just relies on high dexterity so that whoever is wielding it can make the fast and accurate movements necessary for it. On the bright side though it would allow me to use it's full power, and as shown by the last boss fight I am at least somewhat competent when fighting with one.

I put the pocket knife back into the inventory and pull out an actual knife, a single piece one with a sheath. It has a beautiful black handle with slight indentations for me to grasp it, the back of the blade is serrated whereas the actual sharp part looks like it is one of those kukri. I would have thought it was one as well if it wasn't for that being the only part of the blade that curves in that way.

[Title Acquired ]

Oh no, did picking the dagger first doom me to this route?!

NO! SHIT!

Re-do re-do.

I put the knife away and draw out a Katana.

This will be my weapon now. Please?

...I don't want the edgy protagonist route...

I sigh and put the katana away and pull the knife back out.

Well this will all end once I learn magic. I just need to push forth!

"HERE'S JOHNNNNNNNNNYYYYYY!"

[[Shout(Minor)] is now level 4]

...Don't look at me like that.

I said don't.

... God dammit fine. Yes that is all that I was able to come up with. It didn't even cross my mind that my name is John for so long okay? Happy now?

I grab the dagger that from the sheath I had affixed to my belt and get ready to face the horde of goblins.

Wait, should I let the swordsmen hit me with their swords so that I can gain resistances? Hm...

I'm tempted, especially since my health is at 50 after eating a bit. Plus I want a health regeneration ability since my health goes up at the rate of 1 point every 6 hours, which is abysmal since it means 1 a day.

You know what, yeah. that's settled. I am going to lie face down on the ground and just let the goblins attack me.

After waiting a short while the goblins rounded the corner and saw me on the floor, the ones that arrived all looked quite confused. I guess they think I'm dead?

Well that's a nice bit of information

[[Hide (Novice)] increased to Level 4]

Wow I didn't even try to hide.

[Title Acquired ]

[Skill [Play dead (Novice)] Acquired]

My god, you've been missing for days but today you pop up? Is it just to torment me?

"I'm still alive. Just hit me." I tell the goblins in hope they understand me, but it's not very surprising that they just didn't show a response.

I then put my hands in the air and wave them around to get their attention.

I think it worked this time though since I felt a pain on my back.

[Skill [Slashing Resistance (Minor)] Acquired]

[[Disease Resistance(Minor)] has increased to level 2]

[Skill [Stabbing Resistance(Minor)] Acquired]

Wait don't I already have piercing resistance? Don't tell me...? Some attacks will count for different resistances? How do you even tell if something is piercing me or if I'm being stabbed?

[[Pain Resistance(Minor)] increased to level 4]

Whatever, I'll just increase my resistances while I am here. Thankfully I'm also getting pain resistance up. Hmm... I should get suffocation resistance maxed out. It'd be awesome to not need to breathe anymore. What would happen to me if that happened anyway?

No response? I guess X still is upset about this skill.

I start holding my breath while being stabbed, slashed, bitten, and beaten. After an hour here are the results I got after losing about 15 points of health in total:

[[Slashing Resistance (Minor)] has now maxed out and evolved to [Slashing Resistance (Medium)]

[[Slashing Resistance (Medium)] is now level 3]

[[Stabbing Resistance (Minor)] has maxed out and evolved to [Stabbing Resistance (Medium)]]

[[Pain Resistance (Minor)] is now Level 6]

[[Disease Resistance (Minor)] is now Level 3]

[Skill [Small Health Regeneration(Minor)] Acquired]

Lot's of pain, but you know what, it feels good going and finally getting the health regeneration skill. No clue how much I get per hour, but I bet it's better than before because it'd be really stupid if it was worse.

But man, I got a disease from one of these rusty blades? Was it tetanus? Well hopefully because I gained a resistance I should be fine. Right?

Yeah, right. I'll be fine. Definitely won't have my Jaw clamped shut on me.

Well resistances are pretty good too so i don't mind getting hurt or diseases since it means that I'll take less damage with each level up. I just wish that it wouldn't cap out at certain levels. It's like it's trying to tell me I'm not allowed to grind out levels. But, well, I guess it's reasonable since these goblins are so weak, I mean at some point they just can't give you levels anymore.

Like right now, nothing is going up despite me being beaten with all these goblins strength. I wonder how many are there anyway?

'674'

That certainly is a lot more than before. Also why are you so quiet now?

'...'

Is this a mood swing? Did your level up give you mood swings. Be sarcastic or something!

'... masochist.'

[Title Acquired ]

You know what, fine, I deserve that one. I'm not a masochist, but I brought that one upon myself.

'Pervert'

[Title Acquired ]

Now you leave my search history and drunk me out of this!

I told you that I wasn't sober when I bought that pillow!

'John it's a body pillow.'

Yes I know.

'Of a Loli.'

... Yes. I know...

'Then why do you still have it?'

It cost 200 dollars...

'So you, no, Drunk you, bought a body pillow of a Loli, for 200 dollars. Is that right?'

I can feel this is going to be bad... Yes.

'Yet you didn't know you bought it until it arrived?'

Yeah... Where are you going with this X?

'You didn't return it afterwards either?'

They didn't accept refunds. Bastards.

'Uh huh. I'm just going to leave this here.'

[Title Acquired ]

I inhale sharply at this title. I swear I'm going to be lynched if there's a person that can read my titles one day.

Well I'm done with this emotional abuse. I pull the knife out of it's sheath and use it to cut a goblin that was standing in front of my head. My slice apparently carried more force than I thought though and I ended up cutting everything from the knee and below off. Think it's safe to assume that guy is dead.

After that all the goblins back away a couple feet since they thought I was dead. The reason they kept trying to cut and bite me was to eat me, but because they couldn't do any damage they just kept trying.

Once I fully stood up two of the swordsman goblins looked at each other then ran straight towards me with their swords (if you can call them that) held high (or at least as high as a goblin can reach).

They must have figured that they could just overwhelm me with their numbers advantages. Idiots.

Once they got close enough to me they tried to swing their blades at the same time, but they decided to keep their arms in a very bad position, right next to each other. So I rolled forward beneath their swords, stopped when I got in between them, and slashed upwards from the goblin on the rights elbow to the goblin on the left's wrist. That didn't kill them in one hit sadly so I used the momentum to swing from the left goblins neck to the right one.

After seeing their brethren die more goblins started to charge at me, first it was one or two at a time but, those were easy to handle, just a couple quick slices at their neck and they would be decapitated much less killed.

The real problem was when their anger built up enough that it went from 2 goblins to 4, then 10, then 24, then 54, and then all the remaining at a time.

If it wasn't for my resistances I would have no time to rest from this constant onslaught of them.

I kept slicing their necks when I could, at one point I started tripping on goblin corpses and not being able to tell which one was dead and which was alive that I started mass storing them and storing them as soon as they were dead.

After killing 300 goblins, I think, I lost count, I had a better idea of how to kill them, instead of just continually slicing their necks like this why don't I use their friends bodies to go and funnel them into this corridor at a certain pace.

Thankfully I took care of all the goblins that are behind me so I don't have to worry about them, I start pulling the bodies out by the tens and make them into a wall almost as large as the corridor. The corridor is about 3 meters x 3 meters (I've decided I won't bring the imperial measurement system to this world. They don't deserve the punishment and confusion of it.) The bodies of the monsters ended up taking up 2.75 x 2 meters (the width is larger).

(Authors note: Unless it say's authors note like this (Or A/N) then it is John saying it)

This ended up slowing the goblins down to practically a trickle, all I needed to do was stand half a meter in front of it and: slice, collect, slice, collect, slice, etc etc.

Efficiency is great.

Bonus, I think that using their comrades for this upset them even more than before. Who would've thought seeing your friends corpses piled into a wall that is slowing you down from taking revenge for them would piss you off.

I know I didn't. Oops.

After another couple hours of fighting I eventually killed all of them. My stamina is near zero though so after I take a look at what I got skill wise I am setting up camp and sleeping.

[[Dagger Handling (Apprentice)] Is now Level 9]

[[Dismemberment (Minor)] is now Level 8

[[Cutthroat (Novice)] is now level 7]

[Skill [Sleep Resistance (Minor)] Acquired]

[Level increased to 17]

[Gained 44 Status points and 5 skill points]

Good, also I don't wanna be immune to sleep, I like sleep. Sleep is good. I'm gonna sleep now.

I barely manage to pull the tent and sleeping bag out before I collapse into it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Acquired:

44 Status points

5 skill points

John Arthur

Title:

Level: 17

Strength: 34(+0) [Up 4]

Cunning: 34(+1) [Up 4]

Intelligence: 34(+0) [Up 11 ]

Dexterity: 34(+0) [Up 4]

Endurance: 34(+0) [Up 4]

Luck: 37(+0)[Up 17 ]

Equipment:

Head: None

Chest: T-shirt

Arms: None

Legs: Boxers, Jean pants, Boots

Misc: None

Weapon(s): Knife

HP: 102/102

MP: 102/102

SP: 3/68

XP: 3261/7548