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What a Cliche adventure

🇺🇸j0sejalap3n0
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Synopsis
Have you ever woken up from being black out drunk and then find out God is talking to you? No? What about finding out that God wants you to go to another world? No to that too, huh? Well looks like I'm destined to be an isekai protagonist. May as well have fun with it right? Save the world, rule the world, conquer the world? Who cares, I just wanna have fun seeing what cliches I can find --------------------------------------------- Hey, person writing this here. Now this is not my first story that I have written but it is so far the one I am enjoying the most and have made the most progress on so bear with me if there are any mistakes or inconsistencies, just leave a comment or something and I will try to fix it. Also my style of writing this story is I am extremely open to suggestions, naturally I won't take all of them, but if there is a good one then I will by all means listen to it since I am not a perfect writer. Plus the more people interact with me the more I am willing to write! Please note as well that generally my chapters are long so I will try to aim for 1 week intervals for releases, if people want me to release more chapters but just split the large ones into segments just so that it's once a day or something like that then I can give it a shot. Thanks for taking a look, hope you like it ---------------------------------------------- Also please note I am not good at drawing hence the artwork being minimal(Aka a stock photo from the web. It's legal, I checked.) and the title is still up for debate since I'm not good at coming up with titles. So like usual, good suggestions appreciated.
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Chapter 1 - God loves cliches

After a long day at work I have one thing I know feels better than anything else, sitting at your computer desk with a glass of good liquor. Sometimes I'll play some videogames, sometimes I'll watch some anime, and sometimes I'll sit here and read.

Also, yeah sue me. I'm 24 and I watch anime, it's popular nowadays get over it, at least I don't watch hentai (as far as you know at least).

This is not one of those days where I can do that happily though.

Today I got passed up for a promotion I have been aiming for and making it even worse I was fired by that tool Carl.

Fun times am I right? Well time to wallow in my depression and drown myself in liquor like a responsible adult. Wait not, irresponsible adult. That's it.

"…Fuck. How long was I out for?"

I look around me for some clues, oh there's the culprit, an empty bottle of vodka. Man, I brought out the big guns apparently. I rub my eyes to try to wake up more.

I look at my dark computer screen, I wonder if I turned it on last night and turned it off, turned it on and it fell asleep, or if I just didn't bother. I press the spacebar and see my computer's side light up with a bright neon green.

Well I left it on and it fell asleep apparently, I open and close my eyes a couple more times and yawn. "God, I'm still tired, maybe I should sleep some more after I turn it off." The screen for the computer finally lights up but holy shit is it bright, I made the mistake of looking straight at it as it turned on, so I covered my eyes as quickly as I could, but I am in pain now.

This isn't Fallout 3, I'm not exiting a vault for the first time, so my eyes shouldn't suffer like this. I try to slowly move my hands out of the way, it's not as bright now thankfully. I look at the time in the task-bar, it's 4:40 in the morning, how long was I drinking?

Whatever, I move the mouse to the other side of the taskbar when I notice that in the middle of the screen has a notification saying, 'Congratulations your answers have deemed you worthy' What?

I need to stop doing stuff when I am drinking. Last time I did it my bank account was drained by 200 dollars for no reason then 2 weeks later I got a body pillow of an anime girl that shall not be named for my dignity.

Well it say's I'm worthy. Did I get another body pillow? Well I need a laugh right now, whether it be at myself or something else, so I hit the confirmation button.

Nothing happens, well it was funny for a bit with the whole worthy thing, so I go to turn off the computer when suddenly Morgan Freeman's face appears on the screen.

"I have definitely had too much to drink right now so I'm just gonna…go... um, to bed" I make a *pop* sound with my lips as I smack them and start to move towards the bed.

Then because why wouldn't it be like this, Morgan Freeman starts talking "Yo." Why is Morgan Freeman saying 'Yo'? "Umm, yo?" I reply.

What the fuck, I am never having vodka again. "Ah cool you can see and understand me now John." He used my name? Did I say my name, no I didn't, holy shit I'm going crazy. Wait no, maybe I put it on the questionare "y-yeah I see you and can hear you Mr. Freeman."

I blink my eyes a couple more times after responding. "Mr. Freeman? What are you talking about? Ohh, you must see me as Morgan Freeman right now. Forgot about that. Here let me fix that really quick."

He snaps his fingers and then is appearing as a somewhat old white guy, like mid 60's except for his beard, it's about a foot long and white like his hair is, he even has on some thin reading glasses.

"Holy shit I've had way too much to drink, Morgan Freeman just turned into a white guy." I rub my face to try and sober myself up because you know it's bad when you aren't seeing double but are seeing other things. "I'm not Morgan Freeman you know? You just saw me like that because of the movies he was in portraying him as god. If you don't get a god's permission to see their true form you'll just attribute them to someone you've seen before" he states calmly.

"Wait so let me get this straight, you aren't Morgan Freeman but you're… God?" I ask him while I try to grasp the situation. He responds pretty quickly, "Yup, sure am. You always were a smart one John. Oh, also I prefer to be called kami-sama for future reference."

Wait hold up, a god wants me to call him kami-sama? I'm American though, I mean sure I know from anime that it means god (or somewhere in that ballpark). "Kami…sama? Like how the Japanese say God?" I ask to make sure and he responds, "Yup just like that, I like it because it seems more respectful, especially since it's harder to say 'kami-sama dammit' than it is to say, 'god dammit'."

I mean that makes some sense, and I guess it's not too hard to call him that. I just sound like a weeb. Well not like I had any self respect left after that body pillow incident. It's extremely soft by the way.

"So, umm, kami-sama… what do you need from me?" I'm pretty scared right now honestly, I am apparently more wasted than I have ever been in my life. So now I at least know how all those people feel when they get so wasted they see god.

Too much liquor, way way too much liquor.

"Ah thanks for getting me back on task, I don't talk to people very often if you can believe it so I tend to get carried away in conversations. Well I'll let you choose which version you hear, short story or long story?"

Kami-sama gave me a skippable cutscene option? Should I take it, or should I get the background of the story? My reader side is saying long way. Gamer side also says long way because of lore, but impatient side says just get it over with.

I don't know so I ask him a question "I can't decide so what are the differences, and/or which would you recommend?" He starts stroking his beard while thinking about his answer "Well if I have to say the short version doesn't give you much background on the whole issue but it goes by much faster and you get the basic idea of it. The long version however takes a few hours because I'll go through history for a few hours."

I am in no mood for a lecture at 5 in the morning, so I give an immediate answer "Short version please, I am not in the mood for the long version right now." He nods to my answer and replies "Very well, I'll give you a way to read the long version later. Anyways short version is I need you to go to another world."

Well that was indeed short. Props for that.

"Hold up, hold up. Another world? Oh god I definitely am drunk, I must have fallen asleep watching anime on top of it." I blurt out.

Kami-sama laughs at me, why must he mock my suffering.

After calming down he wipes a tear from his eye he speaks again" Oh man it's been awhile since I laughed that hard, anyways it's pretty much that kinda deal except there's no demon lord or anything like that for you to defeat. I just want to move you there."

There's one question I have to all this right now "Why?" I ask.

He replies to me "If I have to be honest I hate that other world, all the countries that exist are corrupt in one way or another and because of it the citizens are suffering from it. The gods over there won't do anything though, in fact some of them have their own cults."

I then hear him mutter 'lazy bums' under his breath before continuing "So with that I want to send you there to fix things. I will give you free reign to fix it too, rule with an iron fist, politically absorb the countries, help fix the countries from within, etcetera etcetera. Do whatever, just get rid of some of the chaos and all will be fine"

I have to confirm a few things really quick "So this world doesn't have a demon lord or any evil entity like that?"

"Nope"

"You want me to get rid of the corruption and/or help the world, and you don't care how?"

"Yup, you catch on fast." I can feel the sarcasm

"What kind of world is this anyway?"

"Oh, that's right I haven't told you this part, sorry. I tried to keep the short version too short. Well pretty much it's a stereotypical fantasy world on crack. It's got monsters, dungeons, labyrinths, and other such monster producing things. There are even different races and metals, but I will let you discover those for yourself, I will tell you that there are the main two stereotypes here though, elves and dwarves. Oh, and humans, but they aren't like the ones here. Oh, and there is magic stuff there, technology is pretty much stuck in the medieval era because they are too reliant on it though, it's a shame."

How forgetful is this god?

I then reply to him "Okay so I get the premise and build up now I think, so will I get any bonuses, perks, or anything like that to help me? Kinda like those in the isekai stories, you know?"

He puts his hand against his face and talks to me "Shit, I completely forgot to prepare those, I just figured I'd send you there and roll with that. Uhm, tell you what give me a couple ideas and I'll see what I can do."

I sigh. This damned god.

I have a few questions to get through, "I have a few questions first, is that fine?"

He nods to me as a sign to continue I guess?

Oh well "Is this world like a videogame or more specifically an RPG?"

"Nope" he responds, I then follow up "Would it be fine if I had a Hud like one then? Like HP and MP (Health Points, MP (Mana/Magic Points/Power), stats, skills, levels, and whatnot?"

He rubs his beard again and responds "Hmm, well I have an interesting idea for how to do it so sure I'll allow it." Cool that makes things easier for me, plus most likely broken, which I like. Next question "Can I bring stuff with me from this world?"

I don't know if he'll allow it, but if he does I have some cool plans.

He replies after thinking for a minute "Sure you can bring anything you want, just put one of the stickers on it. Oh, I should also note it won't work on items you steal or have stolen. I know you haven't stolen but for future reference."

I giant roll of button stickers with a thumbs up appear before me. That's some interesting taste there god.

I then ask another question "I don't know if this is pushing it a lot, but can you give me a way to have some high-speed internet there so that I can use it to research stuff and maybe play games?"

Sweet, I can be 'In another world with my PC' well and a smartphone, but that sounds so boring. Like how am I going to make that useful? Sure I can look up stuff if I have a signal, but other than that? Nothing really.

He smiles and snaps his fingers "Sure thing" A router appears in front of me and sits on top of the stickers. "Word of warning though you can't communicate with people from this world at all using this, but you can play multiplayer games, no writing on the walls allowed either! I am well aware of that trick."

Well shit this was a long shot, cool.

"Ok last question/ request I swear" he raises an eyebrow in anticipation. Please don't get your hopes up, hell I'm probably drunk still right now, you can't expect much from me like this. I've gotten this far because I am way too obsessed with the 'another world' genre.

"Can I have a week of prep time?" He starts laughing again… so I guess no.

I just kinda sit here while he keeps laughing.

He finally manages to respond after hurting my feelings "Sorry, wow that was a great laugh. That's a new request, huuuu, heheh. Whew, okay. Serious time now though."

He coughs a bit to clear his throat, yup I guess I can't, well shit it was a long shot.

He inhales a great breath of air, is he trying to just tease me now? I know you're gonna say no. Just say it.

He starts exhaling now. What the fuck, this is a god? I would imagine they are more responsible than this.

At the very end of his breath the smiles then inhales again normally. "Yes"

Wait what. You ass.

This guy just loves to be a tease.

He's gonna let me have a week to prep? Well that's awesome, wish he would've been more straightforward about it though. I have some plans, but I have to confirm so I don't get my hopes up again.

"So I can have a week to prepare my stuff?"

He nods and replies "Yup."

Holy shit I can, this is going to be great.

"So, I think that's the end of everything I have to ask, anything else we have to go over kami-sama?"

He shakes his head and then smiles at me

"Nope, but I have a feeling this will be very interesting indeed, because you made me laugh I have a present for you, I have another one, but you'll get that later. Turn on your computer at 7 pm next Thursday and your journey will commence. Good luck John" He smiles and something plastic clatters onto the router as he disappears.

I pick up the plastic thing and it's a card, a credit card. Oh, I love and hate this god.

I smile as I go to bed, have I got work to do tomorrow.