Phame 7 vs. Alexandre Pargaz 7: The Big Ending That Nobody Asked For
After seven games, countless wars and an absurd number of birds and dragons involved, the dispute between Cruel Territories and Lekox comes to an end. And like every good war story, one side came out glorious and the other became a bankruptcy statistic.
With 50 billion copies sold, Phame 7 proved that the more absurd the protagonist's power, the more money people throw at the screen. Meanwhile, Alexandre Pargaz 7: Final Tsunami failed so miserably that Lekox is selling the company's coffee to pay the employees.
Phame 7: When Being Too Strong Is the Only Way Out
If Phame had already lost an arm and led an army of birds, now he finally reaches the "Supreme God with DLCs" level, activating the Awakening of the Celestial Phoenix, a power so unbalanced that it practically Alt + F4s the existence of the Phoenixes and expels the eagles from the planet.
The game ends with Phame reaching his maximum potential and leaving behind a peaceful world, something that, let's face it, makes no sense after six games of incessant war.
Highlights of Phame 7
New Power: Awakening of the Celestial Phoenix, which basically wins the game for you.
Final fight against the Phoenixes that lasts 30 seconds because Phame has become a walking god.
Eagles being EXPELLED FROM THE PLANET, because yes, now he controls the immigration of the birds.
Legacy decision at the end of the game, where you can decide whether Phame becomes a legend or a myth… which is basically the same thing.
Audience reaction:
"I blinked and the final battle was over. Was this an RPG or an interactive cinematic?"
"Phame basically activated 'story mode' and wiped the game."
"Finally a game where I can exterminate entire species without worrying about the consequences."
Alexandre Pargaz 7: Final Tsunami – The Game That Sank Lekox (Literally)
If anyone thought Alexandre Pargaz would have a glorious ending, forget it. After conquering the world, he realizes that the only thing that can destroy it is not a popular uprising or a rival army, but rather… a tsunami.
Instead of facing the problem as a leader, Alexandre decides to run away with his 100 dragons and leave his 19-year-old wife and newborn son to die. The game is an experience of pure moral collapse, where the protagonist gives up everything and becomes the villain of his own story.
The result? The audience HATED IT.
Highlights of Alexandre Pargaz 7: Final Tsunami
Mandatory political marriage, because tyrants also have to deal with their mother-in-law giving their opinion in life.
Raising an heir that makes no difference at all because Alexandre simply runs away and abandons everything.
Escape system, where the player chooses which dragon to ride to escape the apocalypse.
Tsunami as an antagonist, because there was no one else to challenge Alexandre other than nature itself.
Audience reaction:
"I spent six games supporting this crazy guy and now he runs away like a coward?"
"This game should be called Alexandre Pargaz 7: My Father Went to Buy Cigarettes and Never Came Back."
"My dragon bugged out during the escape and I drowned. Rating 2/10."
Conclusion: Cruel Territories' Victory and Lekox's Collapse
The gaming market now has a new supreme emperor: Cruel Territories. With Phame 7 selling 50 billion copies, the company has not only annihilated the competition, but also ensured that no one forgets who is in charge of this war.
Meanwhile, Lekox is bleeding to the last drop, since Alexandre Pargaz 7 didn't even sell enough to pay the interns. The only question that remains is: is this bankruptcy real or will they invent a reboot of Alexandre Pargaz to try to recover the money?
The end of this war does not mean the end of corporate greed. If there is one thing we have learned, it is that there is always room for an unnecessary remaster or an absurd spin-off.
Maybe the next release will be Phame 8: The Rebirth of the Screaming Eagles or Alexandre Pargaz: The Son Who Was Not Abandoned (This Time?).
We only know one thing: the public always falls for this story and buys everything again.