If there was ever a moment I wanted to wake up and realize everything was a bad dream, this was it.
I was sitting in a ridiculously extravagant demon carriage, the kind that looked like it had been ripped straight out of a dark fairy tale. It was pulled by creatures that seemed like a horrifying cross between horses and dragons—complete with scales, glowing eyes, and a bad attitude.
And beside me sat the cause of all my problems: Lilith, the Demon Princess. She looked way too relaxed for someone who had just kidnapped—I mean escorted—a human out of his own world.
"This carriage is pretty cozy, don't you think?" she asked with a smile, casually sipping tea from a cup that appeared out of nowhere.
"Cozy?!" I blurted. "I was dragged out of my store in the middle of my shift! My manager is going to kill me!"
Lilith tilted her head like she genuinely didn't understand the gravity of the situation. "Your manager should be proud that his employee is the Great Hero. Think of it as an honor."
"An honor?!" I wanted to scream. Instead, I clung to my mop—my last remaining link to sanity.
The Persistent Hero
Behind the carriage, someone was yelling.
"Let him go, you crazy demons!"
It was Ryuu, the real Great Hero. He was running alongside the carriage, keeping pace somehow despite wearing a full suit of armor. The guy had stamina, I'd give him that.
"Stop the carriage!" he shouted, his face red with frustration.
Lilith didn't even glance at him. "Oh, it's you again. Why don't you go rescue someone else? My fiancé and I are busy."
"Fiancé?!" Ryuu's voice cracked like a teenager's. "That guy is a clerk! A clerk! He's holding a mop!"
Lilith smirked. "A hero doesn't need to flaunt his true power. Kazuki's weapon may look like a mop, but its potential is… inspiring."
I wanted to crawl under the seat and disappear.
"Look," I said, trying to defuse the situation, "this is all a huge misunderstanding. I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
Lilith patted my shoulder. "You're too modest, Kazuki. That's what makes you so charming."
"I'm serious!"
Ryuu groaned, pulling out his sword mid-sprint. "Fine! If words won't work, I'll just stop the carriage myself!"
Chaos on the Road
Ryuu leaped onto one of the dragon-horse things, which immediately tried to bite him. To his credit, he dodged like a pro and climbed onto the roof of the carriage.
"Don't worry, Kazuki!" he yelled, punching through the roof to grab my arm. "I'll get you out of here!"
Before I could answer, Lilith calmly grabbed his wrist and threw him back out through the hole he'd just made.
"Stay out of this," she said with a sigh, as if she were dealing with a particularly annoying fly.
Ryuu hit the ground with a loud thud but somehow rolled back onto his feet. "This isn't over!"
I had to admit, the guy was persistent.
Arrival at the Demon Realm
After what felt like hours (but was probably more like 20 minutes of pure chaos), we arrived at Lilith's castle. It was as over-the-top as you'd expect: towering black spires, glowing red windows, and a moat filled with something that looked suspiciously like lava.
A crowd of demons was waiting for us. They cheered when Lilith stepped out of the carriage, and their glowing eyes immediately fixed on me.
"This is Kazuki," Lilith announced proudly. "The Great Hero and my future husband."
The crowd went wild, chanting my name like I was some kind of celebrity.
I waved awkwardly. "Uh… hi?"
One of the demons, a short, pudgy guy with horns like a ram's, bowed so low his forehead almost hit the ground. "It's an honor to meet you, Great Hero! We've heard tales of your bravery!"
"Tales?" I repeated, confused.
Lilith gave me a knowing smile. "Oh, I may have told a few stories about you."
"What kind of stories?"
"You know, the usual: defeating my father, wielding a legendary weapon, being a paragon of justice and courage…"
"That's… none of that is true!" I hissed, trying to keep my voice down.
Lilith leaned closer, her voice dripping with amusement. "It is now."
The Start of Something Absurd
And so began my new life in the Demon Realm.
Within hours of arriving, I was introduced to a training schedule ("heroes must stay sharp," Lilith said), a stack of books about demon etiquette, and a room that was bigger than my entire apartment back home.
Ryuu kept showing up, trying to "rescue" me, but his attempts always ended in disaster. At one point, he got stuck in a suit of demonic armor that wouldn't let go of him.
As for Lilith, she seemed determined to make our engagement work. She'd drop by my room unannounced, offer me tea that was probably poisoned (but tasted amazing), and talk about our "future" as if I'd already accepted this crazy new life.
I had no idea how to get out of this mess, but one thing was clear: my days of peace and quiet were officially over.