If there's one thing I hate more than waking up early, it's waking up early in the Demon Realm to a demon butler holding a bucket of suspiciously glowing water.
"Rise and shine, Great Hero!" the butler announced cheerfully before dumping the bucket over my head.
I bolted upright, gasping as the icy liquid soaked through my pajamas. "What the hell?! Is this how you treat royalty?"
The butler—a slender demon with a permanent smirk—offered me a towel. "Her Highness insists that you begin your training immediately. Breakfast will be served afterward, assuming you survive."
"Assuming I what?"
Before I could protest, the butler snapped his fingers, and two burly demon guards appeared out of nowhere to escort me to the training grounds. By "escort," I mean they grabbed me by the arms and carried me out of my room like I was a sack of potatoes.
Welcome to the Training Grounds
The training grounds were massive—an open field surrounded by jagged mountains that looked like they were sculpted by an angry god. Demons of all shapes and sizes were sparring, lifting boulders, and doing things that definitely didn't belong in any fitness manual I'd ever seen.
At the center of it all stood Lilith, looking as radiant and terrifying as ever. She waved when she saw me, as if this was some casual morning meetup.
"Kazuki! I hope you're ready to awaken your latent heroic powers," she said with a smile that made my stomach churn.
"I don't have any latent heroic powers!" I snapped. "The only thing I'm good at is cleaning up after customers who can't put things back where they found them!"
Lilith chuckled. "Nonsense. You're the Great Hero! With the proper training, you'll unlock abilities you never knew you had."
"Or I'll just die trying," I muttered under my breath.
Obstacle Course of Doom
The first part of my "training" was an obstacle course. Sounds simple, right? Wrong.
It started with a 20-foot wall covered in spikes. Then there was a pit filled with what I really hoped wasn't lava, a forest of swinging blades, and, for some reason, a boulder that chased you Indiana Jones-style.
Lilith watched from the sidelines, cheering me on like this was some kind of sports event.
"You can do it, Kazuki! Believe in yourself!"
I barely made it over the spiked wall without impaling myself. The lava pit was a close call, too—I might've cried a little when I realized the "bridge" was actually a series of crumbling stepping stones.
When the boulder started rolling, I didn't even think. I just ran for my life, screaming the entire way.
By the time I reached the end, I was panting, sweating, and pretty sure I'd aged ten years.
"See? You survived!" Lilith said, clapping her hands.
"Barely!" I collapsed onto the ground, glaring at her. "What part of this is supposed to make me a hero?"
Lilith tilted her head, looking genuinely puzzled. "Isn't it obvious? Overcoming adversity builds character."
"I don't need character. I need a nap."
Dueling the Demon General
Just when I thought the worst was over, Lilith introduced me to my next challenge: sparring with the Demon General.
The Demon General was a hulking beast of a demon, easily three times my size, with muscles so big they probably had their own workout routine. He wielded a massive axe that looked like it could split a mountain in half.
"I'm supposed to fight that?!" I yelped.
Lilith nodded enthusiastically. "Don't worry. He'll go easy on you."
"Define 'easy'!"
The General grunted, cracking his knuckles. "I'll try not to kill you too quickly, Great Hero."
Fantastic.
They handed me a wooden sword that looked more like a stick you'd give to a toddler playing pretend. I glanced at my mop, which was lying on the ground nearby, and seriously considered using it instead. At least I knew how to swing it.
The fight started, and by "fight," I mean the General swung his axe while I ran around like a headless chicken, dodging for dear life.
"Stop running and fight like a hero!" Lilith shouted from the sidelines.
"This is my fighting style!" I yelled back.
At one point, I tripped over my own feet and accidentally jabbed the General in the shin with my wooden sword. To my shock, he actually stumbled.
"Not bad," he grunted, rubbing his leg.
"Really?" I blinked.
"No," he growled, raising his axe again.
A (Very Questionable) Victory
The fight ended when I panicked and grabbed my mop, swinging it wildly in a last-ditch effort to avoid getting flattened. To everyone's surprise—including mine—the mop somehow deflected the General's axe. Sparks flew, and the force sent the General stumbling backward into a pile of training dummies.
The crowd of demons erupted into cheers.
"See? I told you he was special!" Lilith beamed.
I just stood there, clutching my mop like it was the only thing keeping me alive. "What… just happened?"
Lilith walked over, patting me on the back. "Congratulations, Kazuki! You've completed your first day of training."
"First day?!"
"Yes. Tomorrow, we'll focus on magic."
I groaned, feeling every muscle in my body protest. "I'm not going to survive this…"
Lilith smirked. "Don't worry. I have faith in you."
Somehow, her words weren't comforting.