The High Priestess
Sitting at my dining room table again. Which is now labeled the situation room. Because we have a situation. I have always been a "by the book" straight forward explanation for everything type of person. I believe what I can feel and see. And I usually don't dream so...about last night WTF....
Meka would tell me that I'm just overthinking as usual because I'm a habitual over thinker and I just had a freaky ass dream because I'm horny. So no need to call her. The latter would also be correct. I mean Stephen is no slouch in the bed and neither am I but, he never made me feel like that! I get goosebumps just thinking about my dream again. Before I have to reupholster my dining room chair or take another cold shower, I get up to take Villain out. I go out into the backyard with him and watch him play with the leaves for a bit then I look over at Donavan's old house. How did Rose know what I was going through? It wasn't like we were friends. I never talked to her about anything personal. I'm sure they both heard our arguments a time or two? But reading her note seemed like she knew what I was missing; what I needed. And somehow this little deck of cards was gonna change my life?
I decided I should try to find the Donavan's at the university. Even though they moved they could still teach there. Villain and I head inside. As I rush upstairs to get dressed my phone rings. Reluctantly, I answer. "Hey momma." "Hey baby." "I was worried about you, that's why I called you earlier." "Yeah; I was in the middle of something ma. I couldn't answer". "Well I'm worried about you. I think you should come home." "Because I didn't answer the phone ma?" "No, because you live In Maryland alone you don't have anybody there besides Meka and...I know how much Stephen meant to you." "I just...Momma I'm fine." "I'm going to be ok and I can take care of myself." "I'm 35 years old. I should be able to handle a breakup." "Two weeks before your wedding?" "And I found out about the baby on spacebook." "Facebook ma!" "You know what I meant! I'm so sorry and how could he!" "Why would you keep that from me?" "Mamma" I say, fighting back tears. "I thought we could work it out." But not only did he cheat she is expecting. I have no words…"Momma I have to go." I say my goodbye and hang up.
The drive to the university gave me some time to think. No music, just the hum of the car and my thoughts.
My sister Chastity told me when your heart is hurting you have to get mad. I am so mad, and sad, and hurt, and lonely. But I have got to push it way down and carry on. "It will get easier" I say out loud. "It will get easier."
My visit to the campus turned out pretty uneventful. Turns out the Donavans left to finish some research projects overseas according to one of their teaching assistants. They would be gone for quite some time. She didn't have any forwarding information. Next stop...the psychic on Canal Street.
I always like to visit the Flats. The flats consist of Canal Street and about two streets over on either side. The flats is the go to spot after dark for the hottest clubs and many shops, boutiques and flea markets line the streets during the day. I pull the card out of my purse and head towards 56 west Canal Street.
At the end of the street was a brick house turned business. It was tiny and charming. Not what I expected.
There is a sign on the window that says "Readings by Ms Bea" a sign that says come on in I'm open is dangling on the front door. So.. that's just what I do. As I walk in I can smell the faint hint of sage and palo santo. There is a very eclectic look to the place but it is so inviting. A soft white shag rug covers most of the hardwood floor while there are big multi color throw pillows tossed about. To the right of the entrance is a receptionist's desk. Out of the back hallway enters one of the prettiest older women I have ever seen. She was about my height with a deep caramel completion and long silver braid swinging behind her. Her long bright turquoise dress was a welcome sight for this dreary fall weather.
"Hello." She says. "I am Beatrice Cardoso." "You may call me Ms. Bea." Before I can speak she tilts her head to the side and says hmmm thoughtfully. "I usually let people ask just one question but you have quite a few my dear." She moves around me and locks her door. She flips the sign from open to closed. "Follow me."
She leads me down her hallway to a darkened room with only the flickering lights of a few candles. There is a table and two chairs. On the table burns incense. She tells me to have a seat as she sits. she begins to give me the rundown. I am not paying her; she is receiving an offering and not to put the money in her hand. Place it in the bowl on the table. Things can get emotional in here but do not cry. Crying over your cards is bad luck. She goes on to say she will not tell me anything bad that she sees without my permission. Next she hands me the deck and asks me to shuffle them. As I shuffle she says for me to think about my 3 questions . I do so and hand the deck back to her. She closes her eyes and says why are you so sad? She places the first card down. Five cups. Loss. "You lost your love recently?" "Yes" I say. "But he wronged you." "So it was his loss." Next card. Three of Swords. "A broken heart." "So your relationship ended and you feel as though yourheart is breaking, but the truth is you have been looking for love for quite some time." "Rather your love has been looking for you." "I'm confused." I say. She continues to read for me. She tells me I have a job of service and I can be intuitive as well, even do what she does but childhood trauma has me on the fritz. That good fortune is on its way for me and my cup will soon run over. I guess I'm about to be booked and busy. I think to myself. Then she flips over the last card. A king. "Oh honey" she says. She taps the last card. "King of cups." "He is coming." She claps her hands. Who? I say. "Your twin flame." "My twin flame?" "Is that like a soulmate?" "Oh no." "Your twin flame is your life partner." She studies the cards for a moment. Then she says. "You haven't been lucky in love because you have a true love, a divine mate." " You two were here before, have come back many times but... this time you didn't come back together." "I'm not sure why"... she taps her chin. "Tell me have you felt out of sorts lately, anxious not sleeping much?" "Yes but I have been going through a lot." "Have you had any dreams lately?'' she says with a smirk. How did she know? Yes I say blushing. She grabs my hands well honey he's soon to show up. So you best do the work soyou can receive him. Do the work? I thought. I have way more questions now. "What is a twin flame?" "What work do I have to do?" Ms. Beatakes off her glasses. "Some believe when we were born we were born with one soul connected with our life partner and then our souls split in two. We don't meet the ones that we are destined to be with until we are truly ready. So look into yourself... see what work needs to be done on your end. Now...I use my tarot cards as a tool to help me clarify what I'm seeing psychically. You two didn't come back together, maybe in your past lives he didn't complete his life's work. This reading is about you so I can't answer that." "So how will I know it's him?" "Trust me you will know It's a feeling like no other." She shifts her gaze to her picture mantle. There is a black and white photo of a soldier there. He is handsome, tall with dark hair. His name tag reads Cardoso. "Ms. Bea"...I had two more questions...
She stares back at me, almost teary eyed. "I know child but the last two questions pertain to what's in your bag so let's have a look see shall we?" How did she know?
Still in shock I reach in my bag and pull out the small black card box.
Ms. Bea looks to be in horror and amazement. She reaches for the box then draws her hands back quickly.
"Where did you get that?" I give her the rundown about my neighbors and how I came to acquire the box. I ask her if she is familiar with the Donovans. Ms. Bea says she is quite familiar with them and they have been around a long time.
"That isn't important right now. Do you know what you have there?" "The Taṅka naṭcattirattiṉ taḷam."
I stare blankly. In our language that is the "deck of the golden star." "Some don't believe it even exists. The golden star is supposed to be the very first tarot deck ever fashioned. No one knows who made it but there are a lot of theories. You can't read the writing because it's written in Tamil the first known language to man. That's real gold etched in those cards. They are supposed to be magic. More powerful than the ones we use. I must warn you, my child. These are nothing to play with. They must be passed on to you. Not bought or sold. They only can be touched by the owner. They were given to you so now you have control of the deck. As long as you haven't started to play you should be ok."
"Play?" Yes she says, " Tarot started out as a card game but then through time became a divination or fortune telling tool If you will. Though this deck is not said to work that way. There are 36 cards in the deck. You and only you must choose a card. On the last day your fate is chosen." "My fate? But you just read my cards." "I know I did. I am certain of what I see. So those things will happen. But this I can not see. How this will end I can not say. All I know is you have to choose a card a day and you must play. Others who have come across this deck have suffered grave consequences for not continuing the game. The nerve of Rose. I'm sure you will see her again in due time."
My mind is completely blown at this Time. I'm more confused than when I came in. I told Ms. Bea that I didn't play but I had the cards in my hand and Villain bumped into me. The cards fell and I described the card that fell out. "The fool,'' she said. "The card of New beginnings." She asked did I choose my card for the day. I shuffle the deck and place them face down on the table. I pull the top card. The High Priestess. Seems fitting.
"And so it begins," says Ms. Bea"and so It begins…"