Dews of Song and Sorrow

I sat on my parents back porch overlooking the dense forest. The rain pounded down on the tin roof creating my favorite song. The cool mist bouncing off the rail blanketing me in its sweet embrace. I love when it rains. I love how it smelled, sounded and felt. I sat staring blankly for what felt like ages until my brother walked outside and disrupted my concentration. "Audra, dads calling you inside. He's concerned you'll catch a cold out here." Kai stated worriedly. "Oh Kai, I know dads not the only one who's worried. I'll be in soon. I'm not done soaking in the rain yet." I said turning back to face the lush trees. He scoffed and turned to head back inside. "Dinners almost done so seriously don't be too long." He said before entering the house. The old wooden screen door creaking closed behind him. I stared out looking at the trees thinking what it would be like to be one of the creatures inhabiting them. I sighed knowing I had to return to reality again. I sat up on the swing and pushed myself off not wanting to go back just yet. Suddenly I heard rustling coming from the trees. I turn my head sharply and spot the most beautiful dusty brown wolf. He was white with a speckled tan. His fierce yellow eyes pierced mine, and then just like that he was gone, disappearing into the tees once more. I sigh and open the door breathing in the smell of my dads feeble attempt at making dinner. I stride over to the kitchen letting the smell of burnt rice be my guide. "Hey dad, what are you burning today?" I ask half jokingly. "Well sweetie, I am burning the tacos and rice." He replies. "Maybe, instead of staring off into space you could give your old man a few pointers?" He asks, raising his brow. "I could, but you know cooking was moms thing. And well, you know. I could never be as good as her." I say back. The mood in the room dropped suddenly. Kai chimed in, "Well you know, you need to teach dad so we can bring her some good food and help her get her strength back. Lord knows the kind of food they serve in that hospital." He shuffles over to dad to discard the burned rice. I sigh and measure out a new batch of rice. I get that going while dad watches the beef. Together we get dinner back on track and by 8 we are all eating. "So, Audra, how is school going?" My dad says as he takes a sip of beer. I finish chewing before replying. "It's ok, we have a chemistry test on Tuesday next week so I got to study for that I guess." He nods then asks Kai if he had any luck finding a job. "Not yet." He replied quickly. Kai graduated High school last year and had a plan to move to college. He had gotten accepted into our states top law school. Everything was set, and then mom got sick. We had to drop everything and move out of the country to see a specialist here in our new town of Corentin. It means rain. As it rains for 8 months out of the year. No one had any idea what mom was sick with. Her health just progressively got worse as time went on. Luckily when we moved here they got her stable again. We finish up dinner and Kai helps dad with the clean up. I head up the stairs to work on my homework. I am a junior in high school, I can't say I'm a straight A student, but I'm not failing either. I only have a few years left to figure out my future, and since the move it's been difficult trying to figure out college, I still don't even know if I want to even go. I had everything all planned out just like my brother did back home. My best friend Jackie and I were going to go to the same college. She wanted to study culinary and I was going for a business degree and together we were going to open a bakery and coffee shop. It's just not the same dream if she's not there. I could move back to our hometown but then I'd be leaving my mom, and I just couldn't do that. I let out a frustrated breath and continued my homework. I like to get everything done early so that I have the weekend to do whatever I want. I used to paint but now I mostly just go to the hospital to visit my mom. I finish my homework and the time is around 10. I look out my window at the pitch black sky. The moon was hiding today. I have the most beautiful view in the entire house. My room has a bay window over our back deck that overlooks the forest. It's my favorite spot to read or just stare into the forest. We have lots of wildlife that appear from the trees like deers, bears, wolves, and other small animals. I exit my room and head down the dark stairs, it appears that everyone is either asleep or in their rooms. I sneak past my dads door and into the mud room where I slip on my boots and a parka. I grab a knife and a flashlight and open our back door as quietly as I can. The door creaks gently as I leave the house and step out onto the porch. The cool autumn night air hits my face and sends a shiver down my spine. My breaths leave the slightest trace as I take in my surroundings. I step around the creaky boards on our porch as I make my way to the soft earth. Once down the steps I take off walking quickly towards the trees, the sound of our small suburban neighborhood fading with each step I take. I catch my breath once I am under the cover of the trees and switch on my flashlight. I find the path I marked and start heading towards a clearing. I don't quite know why I am so drawn here. I didn't know if it was the tranquility of my surroundings or something deeper. My footsteps left shallow indents in the muddy ground as I walked. Leaves, twigs, and smaller sticks crunched under my boots as I came onto my clearing. I was wandering around the forest one day and happened across the beautiful serene spot. I marked where I walked to get home and then kept coming back making the path more direct until I got it to where it was a 15 minute walk from the tree line. I went to my spot and pulled my supplies from under a small cave of rocks I made to shelter them from the elements. I fluffed my blanket out and laid my bag down and rested my head upon it. I lay there staring up at the stars as I listened to my surroundings. The quiet chirp of the crickets and the wind gently blowing. I closed my eyes soaking it all in and eventually I drifted off into a light sleep.