Chapter 6-1
Prove or Die
Part 2
I did what I was asked, not wanting her to know that the gig was up or that I was playing possum. Nor the fact she was giving me everything I wanted to know while waited for help to arrive, taking one last look at my watch wondering if I had time to push the secondary button hidden in the secret compartment. Yet to do that I would have to find a way to do it. Knowing I was taking a chance that she would really kill me or not. I played along for now. Let her blindfold me so I couldn't see her or the surrounding room.
It took everything I had inside me to calm my fears as I sat there in the dark feeling the water draining slowly, which confused me. I remained silent as I listened to the door open and close unsure what was going on around me, as the water kept getting lower and lower. I wasn't sure I was alone not hearing any movement in the water or the sound of someone breathing.
All I knew I was to sit here and be still. The room seemed to get colder as the water level kept dropping. The more time went on, the more I found myself losing track of it, and I couldn't help but notice the goosebumps that appeared on my skin. The water had already reached my ankles; however, I pressed on. Although I was desperately yearning to remove the blindfold, I managed to maintain my resistance and unwavering resolve. Reflecting on everything she had disclosed to me, particularly in relation to the imminent test she was going to conduct.
No one had that much power, even more so with cameras everywhere in the house. That much I knew because Mr. and Mrs. Vincent told me there were and proved to me that Big Brother was watching. I also knew someone would stop her if she even tried. Which also said something had happened to Mom and Dad and the Vincent's, or they would be in here in a matter of minutes.
So, I sat there in the dark and waited for them to come rescue me. Once they learned that this was not the test, she was told to give me. That this was to prove if I was gay or not, or if I couldn't obey when I was told to regardless of what I was asked to do. Knowing that if I proved I was gay, and I failed her test, she would kill me. So many things were going through my mind as I tried to put the puzzle pieces together.
Anything to keep my fears under control. I counted sheep, but by the time I reached twenty, the sheep started not to look like sheep. They became dead husks ripped apart, lying scattered all around me. I watched as the piles got larger and larger. Their heads were stuck on poles and their glassy dead eyes looking at me, accusing me of not being able to save them from who was slaughtering them.
Not for meat, but for revenge because I had refused to join Crawford, and refused to let him have sex with me, or take drugs, or worse. Because I refused to not sexually abuse my brothers or my friends, solely because I could and simply because Shawn and Arthur had, along with many of his friends and many of the foster boys that the Rothwells have taken in. All I knew for sure was that James and Danny, no one had mentioned anything about the others.
Again, I shivered, feeling my teeth beginning to chatter. Thinking I must have misunderstood my orders, feeling the room getting even colder. My mind was screaming at me to take off the blindfold and reach for my watch and push the freaking button as it reasoned with me that she really wouldn't kill me, trusting Mom and Dad would save me if that threat was real, and if they didn't, I knew Mr. and Mrs. Vincent would. Even more so with too many witnesses, that would see her do it.
I trusted Mr. Vincent because of that strange feeling that I felt when I shook his hand and looked into his eyes or when he held me in his arms. I trusted the feeling because it had never been wrong. I told myself over and over that I wasn't in real danger of dying. And that was just one small peek, and I could put it right back on, and nobody would know the difference.
I would scream back no in my mind. I was told to sit here and be still, not allowed to move, not allowed to speak, but sit here and be still. My body shivered on impulse as my teeth chattered nonstop from the cold. Contemplating the button, if I had time to reach over and get it and end this once and for all. Shouting in the empty dark space where Jeff and I used to communicate, tell him to get his ass here. Not even sure what he could do for me, other than go for help.
Yet I refused to give in, so I hummed inside my mind, latching on any tune that I could latch onto. It seemed at least had to be an hour or more, and the water had long since drained and my butt was getting sore from sitting on the cold hard tile step. My back and neck ached as my teeth chattered even more. Yet I stayed steadfast and obeyed to remain still and silent, my mind screaming at me wanting me to take off the blindfold and my body eager to leave the room and say the hell with it.
I moved my fingers and toes, working the circulation in hopes get my blood flowing as the room kept getting colder. I counted to hinder my mind from convincing me and take off the blindfold, yet when I reached a hundred. I couldn't do it, so I counted again, then again and again. The door opened as I was just about to. I cursed myself that if I had at that moment I would have failed. I breathed inward with relief the moment I heard Gloria's voice asking me. "Did you move? Did you touch your blindfold?"
My teeth chattered as I said. "No, you told me to sit here and be still."
I felt her hand on my shoulder. "And why didn't you, my boy? You could have gotten up and left this very room if you wanted?"
I growl. "Because you said for me to not too and I obeyed."
She lifted up the blindfold and my eyes stung from the bright light, causing me to blink until the light no longer hurt my eyes. When she came into focus, she smiled at me and handed me a cup of warm soup. I noticed she had put on a robe, realizing she was testing my obedience. She rubbed my arms to bring back the circulation, as she waited for me to finish the warm soup that tasted a bit off. Feeling the room starting to warm up again the longer I sat there.
She asked. "Are you ready to quit … because we can … you know? All you have to do is get up and walk out that door, and nobody will stop you."
My mind yelled yes, but I knew if I did, I would be branded a coward. I knew I would never be able to live with myself; I said. "No, I am not ready to quit," listening to my teeth chatter. Besides, I knew there wasn't a chance in hell she would let me leave this room or this godforsaken property. Until she and all her people were here to move forward with their plans. Which I knew I couldn't allow to happen.
She smiled at me and said. "Ok then," but trust me, it's only going to get harder. Like I said I expect your obedience." I nodded, and she took the cup away and told me to lie down on the floor of the tub.
My mind yelled at me not to do it. I didn't listen, instead I did as I was told. Once I did so, she asked me if I needed to pee. I nodded. She said. "Lie down and don't move." Quickly went to the cupboard and brought me a hospital pee jar. It wasn't the first time I had used one, being sick in bed at the Downing's farm after being unable to move for a very long time, after I had jumped through a plate-glass window. And again, after Dad had whipped me so badly, I nearly died and was basically bedridden and several times in the hospital.
The pills I had taken had mostly had worn off. It seemed to have been a waste of time in the first place, when they told me to take that many, promising me I was going to need them. Then again, none of them knew what Gloria had really had planned for. If they did, she would be worse than dead for betraying them. I doubted they would find the body. It made me all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that.
Gloria kneeled beside me and set the jar to the side for the moment. I watched her take out the handcuffs, finding that there were two pairs. She also had three sets of metal rings attached to the metal bracket, with two large, long bolts threaded into each of the metal rings. She asked me again if I wanted to quit. After showing me what she was about to do.
I swallowed hard, wanting to get the hell out of there. I thought of Shane and wondered if he went through this as well as my two sisters or what she meant by the actual test compared to theirs. I said. "No, I have been through worse, than being tied up." This was true, once down in the church basement and again in the turntable and dealing with storm class episodes for my own safety and the people around me.
I continued to play along even though I regretted that decision with every passing minute as I waited for help to arrive. She nodded and lifted my arms above my head, telling me not to move. I obeyed as she handcuffed me to each of the rings and bolted them to the floor, which stated it wasn't the first time she had done this, and I wasn't the first person going through this.
She did the same to my feet as she removed my socks and set them by my side. Before, I was not a shy little boy anymore. Letting her work my penis out of my boxers and helped me pee into the jar. I didn't understand what the reason was that she had to tie me up first because I could have easily done it myself or gone to the toilet. She smiled at me, seeing I had nearly filled the jar, and patted my cheeks, asking me if I felt better. I was about to ask why when things quickly turned from a bad situation to a more deadly situation.
She angrily told me to open my mouth wide and placed three more horny pills inside my mouth plus three others that weren't the same pills. I tried spitting them out because I didn't know what they were. Only that they weren't the same pills I was accustomed to taking, Forcing me to swallow them all dry. Prying my mouth and teeth open, holding and locking my head between her knees. As I screamed for help, to listened to my screams echo in the room all around me.
She then took one of my socks and cut it in half and forced my mouth open to stop my screaming. While she forcibly stuffed it inside my mouth. Still holding my head between her knees to keep me from moving. Having to sit on my chest to prevent me from moving until she was done. I didn't know what she had given me other than the fact I started to feel woozy as my eyes started to feel cloudy.
Which at that very moment Jeff made himself known to me at last, as it seemed he had been rushing to get here, but was delayed. Telling me that she intended to kill me, but she needed to make it look like I drowned. Which explained why she had handcuffed me to the floor and tied my legs and feet.
Plus, why she had placed duct tape across my mouth, wrapping it around my head tightly? To prevent me from spitting out the pills and prevent me from calling out for help. Watched her get up and turn on the cold water, and leave the room once more than the water filled the tub with nothing but cold water. I watched her step out the door as two people who I didn't know or have ever seen before. Emptied ten large bags of ice cubes into the tub.
Jeff told me to struggle and do whatever it took to show that I wasn't willing to go down without a fight. For the moment I do she would kill me instantly instead of allowing the pills and the ice to do the work. I asked about if my adoptive parents knew what she was trying to do. He said. "Yes, and they are being held hostage and tied up to prevent them from interfering as well as the Vincents."
Which explained why they hadn't come to rescue me, and why these men I have never met were here. That said that Gloria was telling me the truth. I either pass the tests or she will kill me or if there was a test to begin with? Just seeing Jeff and feeling his spirit inside me told me that this was not a threat, but real. Not that I hadn't figured it out already. It was like a 'no-Da' moment.
If I wasn't scared before, I certainly was now, as I struggled helplessly through my bonds, feeling the pills course through me, and watching the water rise slowly and the water getting even colder because of the ice now floating around me. I really started to panic as the water reached my chin and soon started to cover my face as I breathed hard through my nose. I knew I was about to die, as the water started to get into my eyes and my nose even though I was doing my best to keep my head above the icy cold water. I wasn't sure if I would drown or die of hypothermia. The pills were making it harder to think straight, and I wanted very much to give up and accept my fate.
All I knew was I was in serious trouble. And Jeff, being here confirmed it as he kept telling me to fight and not give up. I yelled at him through our link since I couldn't talk while being gagged, asking him why he didn't warn me. Instead of answering that question, he told me to fight while he went for help and then vanished as quickly as he had come.
Leaving the spot we shared filled with his spirit, telling me to fight to live until help could come. If I fight and prove that I was willing to fight, she won't kill me. Well, not as easily as she had hoped.
Told me to look down towards my right hand. Feeling him getting further and further away from me yet still close enough to let me know he was near me still. I did and smiled nearly shouting for joy, causing me to lose focus as water hurried into my nose and mouth. Causing me to choke and panic. I quickly regained control of myself and relaxed.
Feeling my watch in my right hand I didn't question how or when Jeff had switched for the real one considering the real one as far as I knew was still at home, or my adoptive Dad had it. It only clarified things that Jeff determined that I was in desperate need of some help. I didn't waste the time he had given me or the gift as I circled my thumb over the clock face, causing the hidden dial to rotate enough as a small pin popped out the side and pushed inward. I activated the alarm and then let it go. Hoping that the Calvary would come quickly now.
I struggled even more, trying to break loose before the water covered my head. When the water was about to cover my entire head, Gloria quickly came in and turned off the water, and stood there looking at me, watching me struggle with a stopwatch in her hand. While I lay there breathing hard gasping breaths through my nose, shivering because how cold I was.
It took everything I had not to give up, as my neck and shoulders ached from keeping my head and nose above the water. Finally, I couldn't do it as I laid my head back down and held my breath. To release the pressure on my neck until I had no choice but to raise my head so I could breathe through my nose. I had lost count of how many times I had to do it before the water started to lower. And Jeff still hadn't returned, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. All I knew was I was still alive and fighting with everything I had to keep it.
My shoulders and neck sagged from with relief when I was able to rest my head on the floor and breathe through my nose without water getting in it. Gloria set the stopwatch down on the counter and took off her robe, and entered the tub quickly taking the duck-tape off and pulling out the sock in my mouth. I glared at her and said as I growled angrily. "Are you trying to kill me on purpose?"
She says. "You are still alive and breathing, aren't you? So quit your whining. I am doing this for your own good." Yeah right, considering I knew the truth, and she didn't apologize.
I growled. "How do you think trying to drown me or turn me into an icicle for my own good is going to help me?"
She slapped my face hard and said. "Because, for two reasons. I wanted to see if you would fight to stay alive or give up. I wanted to see if you could control your fears long enough before you have an episode."
I growled. "You could have killed me."
She smiles. "But I didn't, did I? You did better than I expected and for that, you get a reward. Which is to remain alive … a little bit longer, so we can play. Now that you have passed this portion of your test. I must tell you, you did far better than Shane when he went through what you just did. I had to give him mouth-to-mouth to bring him back."
She reached up and grabbed the knife she'd been using. She told me to lay still unless I wanted her to cut my penis off. I swallowed hard as she placed the knife inside the slit in my boxers and moved the knife towards me and up, keeping it away from my skin the best she could without nicking me until she had cut the elastic waistband in half. Then took the knife and went diagonally from one leg to the other until all she had to do was pull the remaining material from the side. Then she quickly cut the ropes that bound my feet and removed my pants.
She smiled at me, seeing me completely naked. I waited for her to remove the handcuffs, but she didn't as I watched her toss my ruined clothing out of the tub. She smiled sweetly and said. "The responsibility is now in your hands to prove your worth and earn your freedom by satisfying me to the best of your ability while showcasing your preference for girls over boys."
"I must warn you, if you cannot perform this simple task at any given time, I will drown you. Which was one of the reasons why I waited until those pills worked their way out of your system and gave you three more for later providing you remain alive." Yet she didn't explain the other three pills she had forced me to take. Still feeling their effects coursing through me. Nor had she discovered my watch as I held tightly hidden in my right hand.
She waited for me to answer as I gave a quick nod, feeling much better not having my feet and legs tied up, even though I was freezing cold, and my teeth chattered. I noticed quickly she didn't seem to care, and that bothered me. I could handle being handcuffed because I have done this before. She quickly stroked my penis to a hard state and rubbed my cold body to bring back the circulation, and I kindly asked if she needed a condom. She laughed at me and said. "I haven't needed a condom in year's boy."
I said. "Just asking, so that you know that I always practice safe sex and because you haven't shown me that you belonged to the Garden Club, telling me what I can do or can't do. And we haven't yet really had sex." I growl angrily. "But a nice warm blanket would be nice."
She said. "Thanks for asking, and no I do not belong to the Garden Club. They think I am too hard on the people I have been with. Like you, I suffered from physical abuse. Until I left home at a young age and found my way in the world without family or friends to help me. If it wasn't for your adoptive mother, I would have been found dead on the streets with a needle in my arm before I was fourteen. They helped me get my life together and took me into their home, and introduced me to my husband Harold."
I noticed right away she didn't say ex-husband, which stated something wasn't right or they were thinking about getting back together. For some reason, I couldn't even think that a monster like her deserved a husband, and then again. There were my parents, knowing that my mother married a monster just like Gloria. True, she used to be one herself, yet so far; she has proven that she is no longer that monster.
"Your Dad made sure I had money in my pocket and helped me get this job taking care of other people that had been through, what I have been through. Which is why I have been asked to help you, and if you have been tainted, like the other boys the Rothwells have taken in over the years.
"If you ask me if I killed anyone the answer is yes and for good reason, so don't think for a moment I won't. It won't be hard to prove that I did so in self-defense and as you know there are hidden cameras everywhere in this house. And as you know how the world will look upon you for things you have done a lot differently than we do.
"They do not share our belief regarding nudism, or how we show people our love for them. They will look at us as your father does immoral, raping children and sexually abusing them, people that worship the devil, because they don't or refuse to see us as God-fearing, loving people.
"Which is so far from the truth. Not once have we raped anyone or sexually abused anyone. We have standards. We ask permission before we do anything. We raise our children like everyone else, teaching them to respect each other, and how to love each other in the right way. We teach them about God and how he wants us to love each other as individuals. This is why we test people before we accept them into our society. If they fail our test, we kick them to the curb and let the chips fall where they may.
"Personally, Shawn and Arthur would be dead for what they have done. There wouldn't have been a trial of their peers years later. Many of our people blame your adoptive parents for not acting sooner. One reason they are here in this house watching you and me. They should have never allowed boys like James, Kelly, and Danny into their home, knowing boys like them would poison their young children. Your Dad should have known the moment he let his father back into his home that it was a bad idea.
"Knowing that Shawn had a taste for it, he understood the boys that he brought into the home, knowing they had been experimenting with things that shouldn't be done, drugs, alcohol, and raping young girls and moving on to boys. Liking the power of total control, as your father feels. He is angry because you refuse to be beaten. He is angry because he knows you are better than him. He cannot allow you to continue showing him he has no power over you. So he must do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening.
"He hates the fact that you are alive because he sees himself in you, and reminds him he has failed, not only as a father but as a person who is so low in the eyes of his peers with no education, no chance of getting a better job. When he got injured, he blames it on you, and your brother, and your mother, because he can't do things like other people. He uses that as an excuse, so other people will feel sorry for him. He hates himself because he has to rely on other people's generosity. After all, it's too late or he thinks it is too late to do something about it. That hate has been eating at him for so long that it has come to be the only thing he knows.
"I have been studying you since the moment the Rothwells have taken you in and found you are not like the other boys or what your case file says or what other caseworkers believe why you have been in so many foster homes. Classifying you as one of those troubled teens. That do drugs, steal, and rape women and girls, and smoke not only cigarettes but weed. They reek of alcohol and rely on intimidation to get what they want. My job is to see how you handle the pressure, and how far you will go before you break.
"Your adoptive parents cannot afford to lose another boy or allow you to become a sexual predator. The moment you break I will have no choice but to kill you. I am sorry that it is my job to get you to do things you might have thought about doing and get you to do them if I have to kill you to do it. It is your job to fight. It is your job to prove to me that you can't be broken. The moment you stop I will end you; like I have done to other boys that have failed my tests.
"Right now, your adoptive parents are putting together papers that state you have ended your life in case you fail. But if you prove worthy, you will have earned something greater than you could ever ask for. Nobody will be able to call you a coward or be able to taint you. I have stripped everything you have here in this house. If by any chance someone were to discover your presence here after your demise, we have taken extensive measures to eliminate any trace of your existence, thus preventing anyone from uncovering the details of your actions, except for the knowledge that you ended your own life.
"Now we have spent enough time talking, and it is time to see what you're made of. You should know if you did get up and leave this room, I would have killed you. Quitting means death, disobeying could result in death. So, your only option is to fight and prove to yourself that you are worth keeping alive. Now show me and don't you dare hold back. I will know. Trust me."
I growled. "How can I have sex with you tied up and freezing cold? Knowing that you are holding my Rothwell family hostage and the Vincent family to prevent them from stopping you and the people you represent?"
She slapped me across the face several times, asking me as I watched her eyes light up. That said, I had surprised her with the knowledge that I knew what she had done. She pulled me by my hair, asking me as she spat in my face, demanding to know who told me that.
I smiled and said. "Thanks for confirming my suspicions, knowing that this room is being watched by one or more of the hidden cameras. You said you knew me. Apparently not enough to know about my friend Jeff you fucking bitch. You should know that right now he is watching you and me this very moment and help is on the way. You better pray I am still alive when they get here because you won't be once they arrive."
I then opened my right hand, showing her my watch. Seeing it barely blinking said it was still transmitting a signal. Giving the Calvary my location. Witnessing her eyes widen in astonishment, she swiftly grabbed the watch from my hand. She then proceeded to aggressively pummel it with the handle of the knife, shattering it into an uncountable number of pieces.
She then reached for my head banged it against the floor and slapped me several times then grabbed the knife and placed it to my throat and said. "You think you can scare me, boy, with a malfunctioning watch and thinking I fear your dead friend? Knowing that it is just something you have cooked up all these years to make people feel sorry for you.
"Let me remind you what is real and what isn't if you don't have sex with me or prove that you are incapable. I will kill you, right here and it will not be quick, and it will be so painful you will beg me to kill you. And nobody is going to save you, nobody is going to stop me from doing it. Not your dead friend, not the Rothwells, and not the Vincent's. No, either you do what I ask or die right here, right now."
She picked up the knife and cut me on my arms and my legs and placed the knife close enough on my sack and made a small painful cut. I didn't scream in pain mostly because all I could feel was numb from the cold and made her angry. "Either you do what you are told or die this very minute. I fucking do not care how cold you are boy, or what you have shown me so far. That has kept you barely alive.
"I can always make it so cold that what you have just been through would seem a hot day in July as I do it repeatedly; bleeding you slowly while you either die by drowning or hypothermia, or blood loss your choice."
She slapped me again as she waited for my answer. I growled. "You'll never get away with it you bitch, but if you want to have sex, then so be it. I won't do it because I feel any love for you. It will because I rather have you remember me the second you decided to kill me, that you killed me out of revenge for what the Rothwells have done to you, and I will see you in hell for killing me for no reason to justify this sexual and physical abuse.
"You want to see me perform like a monkey in a sideshow, so be it. I can guarantee you that Shawn and Arthur would never satisfy you. I doubt even Shane satisfied you with the monster you are. In fact, I doubt any man or boy like me can satisfy a cold-hearted bitch like you."
She smiles when I that proving my point, by patting my cheeks lightly and telling me. "We will see about that won't we, boy?"