Chapter 7-1
On the Pain of Death
Part 2
Gloria stepped towards me, and my body jerked the moment she touched my back and told me to take nice even breaths. I noticed she placed her hands on my penis, but did nothing with it. It wasn't aroused anymore, it would take a lot more for that to happen, and I was no longer in the mood to have sex. She rubbed my back, telling me it would be over soon, one way or another.
She left me to my sobbing as I waited for her to inflect the pain that I was sure to come, and the reality of what was going to come next. The first thing I noticed was the water level draining. And I heard Jared being moved, as she comforted him. Reminding him that they had talked about this, and it was his job to keep me alive. She put him beside me, and she placed his left hand on my right hand, telling him to do whatever it takes to comfort me. Telling him that I am going to need his strength and all the love he can give me for these final hours.
She told him. "I am now going to remove the tape so you can talk to your brother. If he passes the test and I don't need to tranquilize him, preventing him from going into an episode, we will move on to the final test. Where I will then blindfold you and then see which of the outcomes he chooses. Or if we need to take a vote by the ones judging us, for one last hope that they have seen enough and are willing to let him live, or if we have to kill him. So far, the odds are in his favor of living, and he has proved without a doubt he can still be aroused by a woman and have meaningful sex, compared to the boys and men I have been with that have been tainted."
The moment Gloria removed the tape from Jared's mouth he broke into bigger sobs. "You have to fight and stay alive. It is only going to hurt for a little while. I know you are not gay, Eric. You have never forced yourself on another person or raped them. I am only doing this because I love you and it is better than I do it than Jason or Jonathan or some boy you barely know or do not know.
"Dad would have done it. In fact, he begged them to let him do it. But he can't. They have him and Mom tied up in a room, and they are watching us with people that we have met at the nudist colony."
He hugged me as hard as he could as I felt Gloria put something inside my butt. Telling me it's just lubrication so it won't hurt as much. She forced me to bend over and by pulling on something as my arms and hands stretched forward. Until my entire stomach was flat against the side of the tub. She forced my legs and feet to move while she anchored them. So, I couldn't kick her, or move in any direction that would interfere with what she was about to do. My body shook with fear and my sobs got even bigger, and so did Jared's.
I understood why the moment Gloria started to feel inside my butt, poking her fingers around my anal cavity. She told me to take a deep breath and then I screamed as I felt something hard and large making its way inside of me. I screamed even more than I tried to kick free to whatever was holding me down. She said. "Just a little further, you are doing fine, better than I expected."
I screamed. "You fucking bitch!" She didn't yell that I would have noticed as Jared and I were the loudest screaming, as he watched and as I felt searing pain so bad, I thought I was going to pass out. I kept screaming and trying to kick free as she held it inside of me.
I felt something squirting inside of me, and the pain slightly lessened as I screamed, trying to get her to stop. I could feel something wet and warm running down my legs as I cried, screamed, and kicked at my bindings. I was still screaming as she pulled it out, and I was still screaming as she inserted it a second time even louder, if that was possible. She kept doing it over and over, leaving it as she checked me as I screamed for her not to touch me.
I didn't hear her or know she had finished victimizing me. As I felt nothing but red-hot searing pain as if someone had just put a hot iron bar inside me. It seemed forever before the pain subsided. Having Jared tell me over and over that she had finished, I said. "You fucking liar. The penis is still inside of me." He jerked back as I was trying to yank so hard that I almost freed myself, causing Gloria to move him before I hurt him and myself, even more, tightening my restraints.
I felt a small poke in my butt and the pain I was feeling went away a little bit at a time. Telling me she had given me a powerful painkiller. I said. "The hell you did you fucking bitch. You most likely poisoned me and had decided to kill me." Which was more than true as I vomited everything I had eaten or drank. Now the gag was gone. Seeing a little blood spatting in it. Yet that could have been from the blood gushing down my legs. I was in too much pain to care at the moment.
She said. "Why in the hell would I do that, Eric? When you just proved to me and the people I represent that you haven't been tainted?" My body shook from the fear and the stress as the pain lessened, but never went away as I kicked and bucked and screamed, telling her to release me.
Instead, I heard the door open and close and then there was silence except for my heaving my guts out there was no sound. I wouldn't have noticed Jared unless he hadn't put his hand on my arms, and hugged me, as we both sobbed as I waited for my doom. Jeff was crying just as much as we were, telling me that they would pay for the crimes they had inflicted upon me. I said as I screamed. "Jeff, you said you were going to help me and so far, all you have done is sit there and watch them do this to me. Promise me that help is on the way. Where are they?
"You left me in my time of need for nearly three years. Where were you when the Rothwells tortured me? Where were you when I was being taken away from the Downings? Where were you when my father tried to kill me, the last time as he tried to choke me to death? Where were you when he tried to tranquilize me and Aaron so he could kill us and bury us in the backyard?
"Don't give me this crap that you were watching over me when you could have helped me. Help me now or get the hell out, or take me with you?" Jeff left, but he wasn't gone. I couldn't see him, but I could still feel him. I didn't know what to do as I lay there sobbing and throwing up more than it just kept coming, because of hat they had done to me. I added them to the list of who was going to pay for this. Shawn and Arthur were at the top of the list and went on down to Mom and Dad and Gloria, and if I knew who the people who were judging me, I would add them as well.
The door opened and closed, and Jared stepped back away from me. He didn't say a word about what had just transpired with Jeff and me. He knew that I saw Jeff sometimes, but had been a very long time. He asked. "So did he pass?"
He cried when she didn't answer him. Instead, she walked up to me and said. "I am sorry. I caused you so much pain. But I did so because if I didn't do it, my family and I would pay the price. Like I said you passed this test. It has been decided that if you want out now. That we will let you walk away, but you will never be allowed to see anyone. You will be in an isolation cell for the rest of your life. No family, no friends. No one will be allowed to see you or visit you. They will not even know where you will be placed.
"It is because we cannot determine if you will pass the next test if you choose not to obey me when I tell you to… regardless of if you don't want to. Causing me to inflict pain and punishments upon you until you obey or until you have refused to do so. And choosing not to obey me will result in your death. I will inflict pain until I have been given orders to stop and kill you swiftly or until you do what is asked of you.
"All we are asking is one chance, so you will know what it feels like when you have victimized someone else, someone that has already been victimized. Now that you know what it feels like to be victimized, as you know that once you get a taste for it, it is nearly impossible to come back from it. Some have beaten the odds like your Dad, like your best friend Dillon, and others like them. The ones that haven't been able to are usually killed brutally. Either by the people I represent or by the prison's system or they have decided to take their own life rather than see if they can overcome it.
"Nothing more will we ask of you? You will never have to do it again. Knowing that if you do, there will be no shaming ritual. There will be nothing but a painful death that will take days before you to die. I am now going to set you up for the next test or less you tell me before we begin that you choose the third option, the coward option.
"Knowing you could have passed the test just by doing what I have asked you to do, and we would release you. Which would mean that you will always be obedient and follow the rules that we have been given to us. We both get to keep our lives and my family as well. Then we will never question you, or torture you like this ever again. We will be able, without a doubt trust you, to live as you see fit."
"I will give the time you to think about it as I prepare for the last test. Once I am done, I will have someone come help me move you into the position in case you try to escape only in resulting harm to yourself and death." Gloria rubbed my back, and I jerked from her touch, telling her not to touch me. She told Jared to come as she pulled him away from me and said. "I am sorry. You may not believe that right now, but I truly am. If I didn't do it, someone else would have done it and someone else's family, including your own, would be killed.
"And when I am talking about your family. I am talking about the Rothwells, and I am talking about your brother Aaron and your mother and her two daughters, including your father and Grandmother. If you want someone to blame. I would start with Shawn and Arthur and all the boys the Rothwells have taken in. And then I would put the blame on your adoptive parents for letting it happen in the first place, by not letting Shawn and Arthur go through the shaming ritual, which could have prevented this mess in the first place.
"Blame me if you must, but I am only doing this to keep me and my family alive. Now I will leave you to make your decision. Knowing Jared will forgive you and so will your adoptive family if you do what I am asking you to do. As he said, he was doing it because he loves you, and really wants you as a brother. He doesn't want to see you killed for something that has already been done to him.
"He won't feel the pain, as bad as you just felt if any, I have been preparing him, and will give him something just in case it might hurt him and make him suffer as forcing you to obey me as I did with you, until you, both heal. Kiss your brother and tell him you love him. I will give you one last chance to say what you need to while I prepare for the test. But make no mistake I will kill you the moment you fail the test."
Gloria moved away from me, allowing Jared to put his arms around me, begging me to do it, so we can be brothers, so we can be a family. My mind screaming at me I searched for Jeff and was surprised he came when I asked in our link we had together. "What choice should I make?"
He said. "If it was me, I would obey, but then again could I live with myself knowing I had done something so unspeakable that it could cause my own death, anyway? Your Pa once said. 'It always starts with one act. Someone steals something from the store, and they get away with it. They remember if I did it then, and got away with it, who's saying I wouldn't get away with it again?
"Think about your parents and how they would beat you time and time again. It most likely started with something small. A one-time act, but in the end that one-time act multiplied to even more beating and more beatings in resulting severe injuries that could easily have killed you.
"Then again, if you only did the act one time, you could take the chance that you would never do it again, and see if you can keep that promise. The other choice is to be locked up with no contact of any kind. You couldn't go anywhere, you couldn't talk to anyone, no one would talk to you. People go insane and then they die. When it would have been easier; to have chosen death. "Death" is not the end, is the beginning of something else or life would have no meaning.
"Take it from me. Do I not exist? Or do you think I am just a trumped-up imaginary friend? Ask yourself who helped you find the Downing's in the first place. Who saved you from your parents when they tried to kill you by beating you to death? As I told you either jump out that window or let them beat you to death.
"Ask yourself when your parents kidnapped you. Who brought the Downings to your location? I told you not to go home. That you should have stayed behind where you would have been safe. I promised you that you would see your brother again. Yet you chose not to. Thinking it would buy them time and you can say goodbye to your brother. Look what happened when you went back, and they kidnapped you both of you and tortured you for weeks at a time. They would have killed you if I didn't help you.
"Now you are facing the same problem: death, imprisonment, Death if you disobey, Death if you commit the same act, they are asking you to do. Who's saying they won't kill you anyway after you did what they asked? Did you see her naked when she gave you your choices, knowing she cannot lie because she is naked? Do you trust her to keep her word? All you have is the belief that her family is being held for ransom. I told you they were not a part of this and are safe from harm. The question is do you trust me after all these years at your side?
"Have you met their family? How do you know you can trust her? You haven't met her until today. Did you shake hands with her? Did you look into her eyes and feel that special feeling that told you that you can trust her? How do you know she is not lying to you even now? How long did it take before you trusted the Fry's, the Steeds, the Downings, and the Rothwells? I know for a fact it was more than a day or a few hours.
"I can't give you the answer. All I can do is to be here for you and if you do die, I promise you that there is nothing to be afraid of. I will do what I can to help with the pain if you choose either option. I will be there for you if you choose the option where they lock you up in total isolation. You have trusted me in the past, so you know I am not lying to you.
I don't need to stand naked before you unless our friendship means nothing after all these years, but I will because I love you." Jeff came into focus, and he showed me he was naked. Even being a ghost, he looked good in the buff. He turned completely around and said. "I am naked, and I love you, and I have never lied to you. Help is on the way and will be here soon I promise."
Gloria came to my side, asking me what my decision was. I said. "I am not choosing the coward's way out, if that is what you are asking. I don't like the idea of sitting in a cell waiting to die. I haven't made up my mind regarding if I should obey and do what you have asked me to do. Not knowing if you won't kill me anyway once I have done what you have asked me to do.
"I can't see you naked, so I do not know if you are lying to me even now. I don't know you from Adam, which is making it even harder to trust what you have told me regarding your family is true.
"Jeff tells me that you are lying to me about them. I can hear it in your voice that you would like me and Jared to believe it, so I wouldn't struggle or simply do it out of fear, knowing that if I don't, we all die. Trust me, you fucking bitch that help is coming. Jeff is standing right next to me, and he is not an imaginary friend I have cooked up. People have seen him even if you can't. But you will sooner than you think as sends you straight to hell where you belong. Trust me on that, you fucking lying bitch.
"Trust is earned, and so far, you really have earned none, other than you have kept me alive long enough to see if I was tainted even though you knew I wasn't in the first place. You said you knew everything about me, all my medical and family history. So it is safe to say that you know I have been tested several times over the last few months and years. Not once during that time have I raped anyone, nor have I sexually abused boys like Shawn and Arthur have, as well as many of the foster kids the Rothwells have taken in?
"I have proved to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that I prefer having sex with girls. Even though I can't stand the very touch or the smell of you. Trust me when I say you and your so-called people you represent are going to pay for your crimes. Even if you kill me, you will pay dearly for it.
"I learned something about you and that is I can't trust you. You have lied to me when you were naked. I also know that you were faking all those orgasms. But regardless of if you were. You can tell I was aroused by having sex with you over and over again. Proving repeatedly. I liked having sex with girls and women that deserve my love.
"The hardest part of making love to you was knowing you weren't enjoying it, and I did not love you, hell I don't even like you. In fact, if I could have, I would have killed you. This was never about me proving myself if I was gay or not. This was for hurtful revenge, power, and money, to get back at the Rothwells and the Vincents, plain and simple, hoping to get your new boyfriend Crawford to make you his queen and for some unknown devil. That's right I know everything, thanks to my friend Jeff.
"Knowing that all you and your boyfriend Crawford had to do was wait for the right moment as you waited for them to bring me here to you and kidnap us, showing us how powerful you are and how stupid they were to trust you, all these years. Yet now they know, and you have given them the proof that it is needed to put you away for the rest of your life. Yet you won't see prison, you will see Death and misery the moment we are done here today. Jeff tells me that you can take that to the bank.
"Providing my adoptive parents and the Vincent's doesn't kill you first, from hurting me and my brother Jared or them. I would pray for your soul, but you don't have one. No one could after what you have done to me and my family. If you knew me so well, you would know all the girls I have been with, proving to them I am not tainted. That I do not prefer boys' butts, which you and the people you represent are convinced that I do. Jeff is right. How do I not know you won't kill me, anyway? When every option is Death, you say that if I obey and do what I feel is wrong in so many ways, that you let me go.
"You victimized me as you raped me to find out if I was tainted to see if I would enjoy it. Yet you found me untainted. I did not enjoy one ounce of it. It's hard to believe that people like you and that you represent have decided my fate because you think I have done so, and you think I might when I haven't. So I am left with two choices and that is to see how this plays out. Or die trying. As I wait for help to arrive, which I can promise you is coming. Sooner than you think, in fact, they are on your very doorstep. And have you are now surrounded according to my very imaginary friend. Who you say doesn't exist."