Chapter 8
Failed
Part 1
What is failure? Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective and may be viewed as the opposite of success. There are many types of failure as there are as many types as possible of success and winning. The question is, did I fail? Or did I really pass the tests and choose the right answer? If I am still writing this chapter, that means only one thing. I didn't fail. I had succeeded in proving myself worthy by choosing the only right outcome. Gloria had given me the answer. I only had to listen, she said. 'Words mean nothing. It is by your actions and your obedience.'
The part that I hadn't worked out was the obedience, but I took a gamble that the only one that really needed to show obedience was to myself. I knew I had chosen the right answer as I said my last words that "I am sorry." Feeling the knife slide across my throat feeling no pain like it should have been other than a slight stinging as the needle jabbed me at the same time.
I gasped because I was surprised because I was right about my answer. Plus, she said she wouldn't kill me in front of Jared. In some ways that was a false statement because I wasn't in front of Jared I was in back of Jared and he was wearing a blindfold, and I wasn't at the time when she wanted me to look upon my victim so I could see what I had done. If I had chosen to stick my penis inside of him.
If you are asking yourself about the knife, the answer is obvious: there were two knives. The first one was real, and she had used it to cut off my clothes, but the second knife was not real, true it was a knife but had no cutting edge, and she never used it until the very end. It held a fake blood solution with some type of plant oil that stings the skin once applied. It was also used with the whip.
The whip was designed to hurt, but not to injure as much as a real one could, as it hit my back and shoulders, and legs. Causing an ink solution to explode, causing it to look like blood and sting like an open wound. It was inside the trunk, with everything else … on the reason I was blindfolded, was so I couldn't see the props she was going to use. The blindfold was also used to heighten the fear, causing your mind to calculate multiple possibilities.
However, it was unclear if I had chosen to sexually victimized Jared would it have really resulted in my death and or gave me the same outcome? But then if I had chosen that answer I would have had to live with myself for doing it. 'Like I said it always starts with that one act.'
Dad said if that would have happened, they would have stopped her if she did try to kill me. They were at the door just in case. And I wouldn't have been brought up on charges because I was only given two choices: do it or die. It was a test to see how I would do something so inconceivable if given enough stress, pain, and pressure if I would have done it.
In any case, she had given her word if I chose the wrong answer that she thought I should have picked, and had given them the real knife, but that didn't mean she couldn't have found another way to kill me. Mom and Dad were not convinced, and neither was Jeff that she wasn't going to kill me anyway if help hadn't arrived when it did. She could have used a fake knife at the time, but she could have easily killed me with her bare hands if no one was there to rescue me.
One thing I had learned was that all criminals always like you to watch. They need that audience. They needed that gratification that said I am more powerful and better than you. My father and my mother when they tortured me or beat me. They always made sure Aaron was in the room watching me being beaten, and then they would have me watch as they beat him.
Not once did either of my parents beat me without some sort of audience. Later, when my mother decided that this was wrong and decided that she really wanted us, she became my primary audience. Shawn was the same way as he forced my three brothers to have sex. With whoever they were told to with a knife at the person's throat. Making all parties watch creating his audience. Showing that he was in control and no one else and the same for the Rothwell's grandfather, forcing his own kids to have sex with him and their siblings, who were their brothers.
I wasn't sure if my adoptive parents were watching at the last moment or not when I had made my final choice, considering when I was about to die. I was told by Gloria that she would signal to turn off the cameras that were watching me and Jared when that happened and would remove Jared before that decision was made.
Again, that proved I had passed the test because Jared never left the room at any given time during the last two tests. So, in some ways, I was shocked that when I woke up; I was lying in bed. With my family watching over me fully clothed, as if they were just had been somewhere or were coming back, and they couldn't have been happier, Other than my dog Sparky.
The fact that Dad had a black eye and had blood on his clothes and seeing several bruises on his wrists where they had beaten him and restrained him, also seeing Mom and Jody looked as bad as he did. Said more to me than anything that this wasn't some game or test. This was real. We could have actually all been killed by Gloria and the people that she had brought with her. The only question I had was who saved me and my family and the Vincent's not seeing them in the room.
The fact I was lying in bed at all was a shock to me, knowing that my back had been torn to shreds by the whip. And saw blood pouring down the drain of the tub and felt the searing pain. Yet the truth was my back was sore, yes, but was it ripped to shreds?
No, the whip had been altered enough so when it hit me it exploded into red ink that looked like blood was dripping from my wounds and the sting was from some sort of plant or medicine that caused my skin to burn. Yes, there were places on my shoulders where I could see where the whip had dug into my skin, but it was nothing like the cattail would have done to me. Jared to showed signs of being whipped severely like I was, but only had minor cuts here and there that I could see at the moment as he lay there sleeping beside me out cold.
The whole thing was staged, but it was designed to feel and act real for my and Jared's benefit. Not even he knew that it wasn't really until he too woke up next to me after being tranquilized. So he wouldn't see me lying dead in a pool of blood or walking out the door without me. Shocked and relieved that I had chosen the right answer, I had passed the test.
The pain that we experienced was insignificant compared to the overwhelming relief of seeing both of us alive. The intense anger that I experienced served as a numbing agent for the pain that was coursing through me. As I sought for explanations, my eyes landed on Gloria, who was bound to a chair, her mouth gagged, and her sight taken away by a blindfold. Knowing that my safety was at stake, I explicitly communicated to my parents, Mom and Dad, the urgent need to remove the gag and the restraints. I trusted them implicitly to be my guardians, but in the event that they could not protect me, I was absolutely certain that I could take matters into my own hands and eliminate her with my bare hands if necessary.
I only question I asked her as they untied her, having Jody call for help just in case Gloria tried anything. Dad waited until Mr. Vincent arrived and another man. I didn't know I asked, fearing the answer. "If I had chosen the wrong answer, would I have died for real?"
And all she said was, "Does it really matter?"
Once she was free, she tried to rush towards my bed and was about to place her hands around my throat. But Dad and Mr. Vincent grabbed her before she could and stopped her. I reached for her, placing my hand around her throat. Nobody tried to stop me. Even after I slapped her hard with the other hand, squeezing tightly.
Watching her struggle to get free so she could kill me before I killed her. Yet took everything I had not to kill her as Jeff told me not to. Mom and Dad didn't stop me. Nor did Mr. Vincent, nor the man he brought with me stopped me, but I could see it in their eyes that said they were scared that I would.
Jeff came closer to me had me look directly at her and as I held her life in the palm of my hand. Jeff touched me, bringing me back, promising that he would personally see to it she paid for her crimes. I squeezed even harder and looked her in the eye and said. "Yes, it matters to me because I went through so much pain. I faced death every waking moment in that room. Knowing if I didn't prove myself, I would die. I don't want you even near me or my family ever again. It is taking everything I got to not kill you with my bare hands." I stated it by squeezing a little harder, causing Dad and Mr. Vincent's stop me before I went too far.
Once I released her, she looked at me and smiled, and that smile sent chills down my body. I yelled, pointing to the door and nearly collapsing on the bed. "Get the hell out! I do not want you here for what you have done to me regardless of if it was to test me! Or if it was to get revenge or if it was for money for doing it! To bring justice for what the Rothwells have done! You have caused me so much pain! That if I could move without wanting to scream! I'd kill you and put you through my own test to see how you like living! Knowing your life means nothing more than proving yourself repeatedly. That I am not one of those boys, that you have accused me of being, telling me flat out that you know me, you know what my life has been like, and then accuse me of being one of those boys.
"I have proved it by being tortured not only here, but at home, and my Rothwell home, yet you said over and over that you knew me, from the time I was born until this very moment. You did not believe me; you did not believe my family or the many foster homes I have been in. And you did not believe my friends or the many doctors I have been to. Telling you that I was not tainted, I was not victimized sexually, and I was not victimizing anyone else.
"I was flat out physically abused until the moment you yourself raped me, causing me to be sexually victimized. When there was no reason for it. When you said you knew me and everything about me and what I have been through. You are nothing, you have done nothing but lie to me and to them. You should know Your boyfriend, your so-called lover is going to betray you, and is only using you to do his bidding, he plans to kill you, not take you as his queen. I don't want to hear any more of your lies, so get the hell out."
I watched her leave, and she didn't apologize or tell me it was her job to put me through it. All she said was. "I would watch your back boy if I were you, once I am free from this house, trust me when I say your life is mine and I plan on taking it, and every person you know will feel our wrath for what you have done."
Jody slammed the door in her face as I watched Mr. Vincent and the other guy he came in with escorted her out, Jody said. "Not even Shane went through that, and neither did Kerry nor me."
She says. "When it was Shane's turn, she didn't make him go through one-tenth of the pain you and Jared just did. None of us had a choice but to see what the outcome would be. Like you were held against our will only to watch what Gloria put you through, knowing she was going to kill you at any given moment. All she needed was one thing that said you were tainted, one thing that would say you were guilty of the crimes that Shawn and Arthur have done, or the other boys Mom and Dad had taken in.
"We knew you would pass the test because you didn't need to prove yourself like that. None of us have been through a test designed to kill you, regardless of the outcome. Yet she and the people she represented wanted blood for something that wasn't your fault, and they knew you weren't molesting boys or anyone else. But they chose not to believe it, because of the choices Mom and Dad made in letting Shawn and Arthur escape punishment and then bringing in those boys who had criminal records. They were tainted, to begin with, and Shawn and Arthur thought to punish us for letting it happen in the first place.
"Maybe it was our fault for letting our Grandfather back into our home and in our society. Just because he said he was sorry and told us that he had changed. When all this time he was molesting young boys and teaching them to molest other boys. Thinking that because he escaped and had fled where they couldn't touch him, knowing that if he served his time or waited until it was too late to bring him up on charges. Meant he had found a way around the law. Not only for United States laws but for our society as well, thinking he got away with it once, he can do so again.
"Until Mom and Dad and our closest friends who lived in the nudist colony caught him in the act. Made sure he could not escape, and then killed him. In hopes of getting some justice and stopping what he had done, but by that time it was too late. Shawn and Arthur had a taste for it, and when those boys came into our home, they too had a taste for it. Now because of that and what they have done with the help of Crawford. We are paying for it, our neighborhood and our town are paying for it. And you just paid the highest price. Actual blood or not, you were meant to suffer for our crimes. And I am really, really sorry. Even though sorry doesn't cover it.
"You should know that Gloria will be punished for going too far. She will be no longer be welcomed in the Vincent home. The threat she told you regarding her family. Was to get you to believe that neither of you had a choice. All that was necessary was that you proved yourself that you prefer girls and women over boys when it comes to having to have sex as it should be, and what Mom and Dad have taught us all our lives. She knew that and we knew that she knew it that last night. She knew that before going in.
"Yet she had something to prove that if she pushed you hard enough that you would have raped Jared. Then it would prove that she and the people she represented were right. There was never a third option. It was a test to see how far they can push you. And if you did it, under that kind of pressure, the law would have stated you were manipulated just like your three brothers, and the boys like the Vincent boys were. Threatened if they didn't do it, they would die."
Jody put her arms around me and said. "We are all proud of you boys for showing such courage in the face of real danger. Not once did you give in, and for a brief little moment right at the end, when you told Jared that you hope that he forgives you. We thought she had broken you.
Then something changed and just for a moment you glowed, but it could have been the light. Yet we heard you talking to your friend Jeff earlier. So, we thought it was him that saved you right at the end. If he did, please tell him thank you from all of us, but tell him to go away. He is bad luck, always showing up to tell you that something bad is coming and he is always right."
I smiled and snuggled in Jodie's arms and pulled Jared into my arms so she could hug us both and I could hold Jared as we both cried for all we had been through. I asked three questions. "What time is it? And how long was I out? And how long was I in there?" Everyone laughed.
Dad said. "It is a little past ten p.m., and you have only been out for maybe thirty minutes if that before I gave you boys the anti- tranquilizer drug. Mom said. It would have been better if I didn't consider you needed a nice long nap, but I said this is a good time to try it out and see if we got our money's worth.
"Now for your last question. Too long if you ask us, but you're a smart boy. You can figure that out because you went in about 11 am or so. And if you're asking if you still get paid. The question is absolutely yes. Not only that, but that pay is coming out of Gloria's pocket, including hazard pay and pain and suffering.
"Which means you would have gotten double what you would get in an hour, but I have talked Mr. Vincent into paying you five times that amount because of your pain and suffering that could have led to your death. Plus, a bonus of a thousand dollars from both me and the Vincent's for choosing the right answer, and showing us how under extreme pressure, which means more than anything that we can trust you. Even though we knew that from the start, you had nothing to prove to us, but only to yourself.
"The test that she should have given was designed to prove that you could trust yourself and believe that you had to courage to do what was right. It wasn't the test we had agreed upon, we had been using all these years as a coming-of-age test. And I am sorry for being so stupid in trusting Gloria after all these years, thinking she would never harm a single soul. She will be punished severely and brought up on charges, now that we have the proof that she had intended to give to the people she represented. So just know that we love you very much, but for now, all I can do is make sure that this never happens again.
"Jody has put the boys to bed for you, but if you would like to say goodnight to them. I think they would really like that as well as Mr. and Mrs. Vincent. Who has been worried sick about you, ever since they found out what Gloria and the people that she represented were putting you through?
"Death was never on the table, but by that time the tests had gone too far for us to stop it, and like you, we were taken and locked inside a room so we couldn't interfere if we wanted to. Until help arrived, I hate to even think what could have happened if they didn't show up when they did. I don't even know how they knew we were in trouble."
Jared said. "Jeff told Eric that he has sent for help, Dad. He told Gloria and me that several times as she laughed in our faces. Yet they did come as Eric had promised me they would."
Jody mentioned that Eric somehow miraculously retrieved his watch, which appeared out of nowhere in a flash of light. As we all blinked, the watch suddenly materialized. We observed him pressing the button on his watch, but no one came despite our prolonged wait. Gloria then revealed that she had cancelled the alarm with the assistance of her boyfriend, Crawford. She informed everyone that it was a false alarm and proceeded to shatter the watch into countless pieces. This left me wondering how Eric accomplished this feat, especially considering that the watch was located across the room while he was tied down at the bottom of the tub. The answer eluded us all, but it was evident that my friend Jeff was somehow involved.
Mom and Dad nodded, and Dad said. "That makes a lot of sense. I have learned that never piss off his friend Jeff over the years. He can become quite angry if I even think about using a cattail on him. Or inflicted any type of injury. I am still shaken for putting him and you boys inside the turntable. Seeing my life pass before my eyes being tortured in hell over and over; No, I don't want to be in Gloria's shoes when he comes after her." Mom and Jody agreed, and the room became silent. Jeff was smiling as he took credit for what he had done. Who could blame him?
Dad said, breaking the silence. "Then I think a nice hot meal and…" Dad paused as he was about to say bath then cringed and said. "A nice hot shower would do you good. Then Mom and I will give you and Jared a full massage. For now, at least, until you are up and about and ready to have some good old-fashioned sex. And of course, stimulation from me and your brothers. It's the best I can do for now considering everything at the moment. Mom and I still need to work out the share of the cost of you babysitting your brothers when they are here with you and not at home."