10. Purpose
The moon was high in the sky, the streaks of moonlight streaming into his room. Eryndor found it hard to sleep in his room after the decree his father had given him. The feeling of being thrown out birthed the feeling of insecurity.
That was the very first time Eryndor really thought of his future, of how fragile his life here was if he chose to misuse it. Perhaps this second chance was meant to make him change and become someone much better than he was in his old life.
He so desperately wanted to keep his new life, he loved his father's over protectiveness, his mother's live, Celyndor's strong will, Elantha's sense of humour.
"Why can't everything stay the same?" He said in a deadbeat tone as he looked at the roof of his room, there were dark circles under his eyes that showed he had cried throight the night.
A cold wind blew into his room from the open window filling the room with an odd chill. With the wind followed a strange darkness and then a voice. "Oh, you finally see the world in a new light. I was starting to think you would remain trash for longer."
Eryndor's eyes widened as he sprang to his feet not taking in the fact that he was near the edge of his bed causing him to fall off and unto the ground with a hard thump.
"Ow! Who's that?" He asked as he climbed up to his feet. He scanned the four corners of his room. There was no one there. "Great I'm hallucinating now."
He stopped feeling something boring it's eyes on him, then a voice spoke. "It's indeed remarkable that it happened to be a scum who sensed my presence."
Eryndor calculated the distance from there to the door just I case he needed to use it. He thought why his system did not bring up anything which was rather odd. "Who's there? I am a prince of the eleven empire."
More wind whistles into his room filling him with more dread, this heart thumping twice as hard, sweat breaking over his face. Then a deep chuckle bounced off the four corners of his room at him.
"So you say, words without purpose is meaningless. And you are even more worthless than the grass and insects."
Eryndor felt a deep stab to his chest, he tried to defend himself but lost all confidence. "You're wrong." He stuttered in a shakey voice.
The voice spoke again, this time in a lower tone more serious. "How long will you continue to lie to yourself? Deceiving others is intentional but deceiving yourself is torture."
"I— I", Eryndor dropped his head, his heart that was once beating rapidly suddenly froze at the realisation he had been struck with. He dropped on his knees and haunched over in a pitiful state. "I have been lying to myself, I have been afraid all my life of taking charge, of being responsible for my own actions. I'm a degenerate, I'm worthless, there's no hope for my situation."
The voice went silent causing Eryndor to think his shame was too much for a ghost to compliment. But the voice returned in a low tone. "Acknowledging your problem already makes it half solved. You have shamed your family, your nation, what are you going to do?"
Eryndor raised his head slightly, his deep blue eyes barely carrying any light or hope. He could remember this feeling in his previous life, whenever faced with a decision he would always panick. His parents had separated, it was a divorce he was in college then, by the time he came back there was no one at home. He felt broken, lost hopeless.
Now given the same choice in this new life when he was at his lowest, he was going to make the same mistake again.
What was he going to do now? What did he want to do? What was he afraid of?
After a long time with a heavy heart he spoke, "I— I— want to become someone that matters."
Then another long stretch of silence filled the room, the only sound that persisted was his loud breathing. He had been so agitated that he was breathing heavily.
The voice persisted again. "Now tell me, why would you choose that?"
Eryndor took a moment to think, all his life he had done things without thinking them thought. Enough of his scheming lifestyle, enough of being a degenerate. "I want to live my life to the fullest, to build a life that my old self can look up to. To do that I'll start from zero, this might be the only chance I get to acknowledge it so I won't lose it."
Wind whistles into his room blowing in leaves that danced around the air before him, he looked at it and held his breath. "This is— rather surprising. You did not wish for power or wisdom but rather you wished for a better life built by your own hands. Might I ask what prompted this thought?"
Apparently the voice was surprised by the ego of the degenerate prince. For Eryndor this was the first time he truly wanted to explore his own soul so he opened up.
After a moment of thought he spoke. "I am the prince of the eleven empire, my status, my worth, everything I am was given to me. I don't think I can ever become someone I can be proud of if I have nothing to be proud of."
The voice spoke again. "In short you want to create your own worth? This is truly amusing." What followed next was a fit of laughter that sounded like thunder, Eryndor was forced to cover his ears and cower in fear.
The voice quieted a moment later. "Sorry, I haven't laughed in a thousand years so I had to enjoy myself."
Eryndor raised his head as his mouth fell agape. "A— a thousand years! So you're not my inner voice."
"Inner voice?" The voice said before erupting in a fir of laughter that surprised him. A new feeling of dread flooded his feelings, just who or what was he conversing with and how did it live for so long?