The next day, Jared and Etienne moved through the surface world covered by mist. It was part of their mission to scout the surface. They needed to be aware if something showed up other than mutants, if somebody got in trouble with the mutants, or if there was any change.
Today, there was something different about Jared.
When they encountered their first mutant of the day, Jared immediately stepped in front of Etienne, positioning himself like a shield between Etienne and the scary, deformed creature, possibly a cat mutant.
"If the creature gets me, you run," Jared said, his voice low and tense.
"What are you talking about?" Before Etienne could understand his intention, Jared had already braced himself with a machete in hand to welcome the incoming van-sized cat mutant lunging at them.
Jared fought like a madman, fiercely striking the mutant's face and throwing himself into the mutant's mouth, filled with thousands of spiking teeth. However, the mutant strongly pinned Jared down on the forest floor, leaving him in a vulnerable position as it sank its fangs into Jared's body.
"Rod! No!!" Etienne screamed, barraging bullets from the rifle in his hands, saving Jared's life and steps forward while shredding the mutant's face.
The mutant leave with no choice but to escaped with a deformed face, retreating into the forest and disappearing among the thick mist.
Etienne knelt down to check Jared's injury, drenched in cold sweat after witnessing Jared's super reckless stunt. "Are you alive?!" he asked, with worried trembled voice.
Etienne grabbed Jared's armor, urgently inspecting him to see if he was injured and how bad the injury might be. Apparently there's no injury at all, seems like the fangs haven't harm Jared yet, he pulled the trigger in absolute right time.
Etienne exhaled deeply, trying to release the remaining adrenaline now that the temporary danger seemed to have passed.
He glanced at Jared with a stern warning. "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?!"
Jared didn't respond, instead feeling embarrassed and beating himself up even more for getting himself saved. He stood up silently and moved forward, continuing to patrol their route. The demon laughed inside his head, mocking his failed attempt to protect Etienne, only for him to be the one who ended up being saved.
Etienne, however, noticed something was definitely wrong with Jared. He was out of his mind! He didn't like this shifted dynamic between them. Normally, they'd work together to take down threats like this, sometimes even jokingly using the other as a shield or cracking playful comments about the mutants as they fought. But today, Jared was acting so serious, no longer engaging with Etienne's attempts to lighten the mood. He was stuck in whatever storm was raging in his head, and no matter how hard Etienne tried, he couldn't pull him out of it.
Somehow, it broke Etienne's heart, knowing that Jared was in pain, yet the one inflicting it was none other than Jared himself. What hurt even more was that Jared wouldn't let anyone in to help him through it. The walls he built around himself made it impossible for Etienne to reach him, and that felt like the cruelest kind of distance between them.
When they encountered their second aggressive mutant—a grotesque monkey mutation, now as large as an adult human male—Jared did it again. He positioned himself as a shield for Etienne, throwing himself into the fight. Occasionally, the creature managed to bite him, but the protective armguard he wore prevented it from tearing his arm off entirely.
Etienne's sharp mind and quick reflexes had saved them countless times in situations like this, but now Jared's reckless actions were shutting him out, preventing him from ending the fight efficiently.
"Rod—seriously," Etienne snapped, frustration building. Every time he saw an opening, Jared would step in, shielding him from the mutant's attack. It forced Etienne to hold back, desperately trying not to accidentally blow Jared's head off.
"I'll show you, I can protect you!" Jared grunted, desperately trying to fend off the monkey. His arm was bitten, blood streaming from the wound like a leaking pipe, but he kept pushing forward, ignoring the pain.
"Rod, I don't need protection, stop getting in my way—" Etienne started to aim again, but Jared was already moving, redirecting the mutant's attack with a fierce swing of his blade.
Jared pressed the mutant monkey, still biting his arm, against a sharp rock, crushing its bone with a sickening crack. With one final, precise stab, he killed the creature, its lifeless body collapsing to the forest floor. Without missing a beat, Jared turned back to Etienne, his eyes scanning him from head to toe, searching for any sign of harm.
With his bloodied arm, where the blood rushed out of the injured limb like a waterfall, Jared hurried back to Etienne, who was in the safest spot possible. He checked him over intensely, ensuring there wasn't a single scratch. "Are you hurt? Did the creature touch you?"
Is he serious?! He was the only one the mutant had "touched", and now he's turning back to me asking that?! Etienne blinked in disbelief before grabbing Jared by the shoulders and shaking him, his voice rising with frustration.
"Who the hell is this?! Where is Rod?! Why did you take his form?! Where did you hide my partner?! Who are you?! Return my partner at once!"
"I'm Jared, I'm Jared!" he replied, trying to calm Etienne down.
Etienne placed his hands on Jared's armor and pulled him close to his face. "Okay, Rod…what's going on? Why are you throwing yourself into danger? Are you trying to kill yourself? You aren't giving up life, are you?!"
"I ain't giving up, I just don't want any harm to happen to you," Jared answered innocently.
Etienne released his grip on Jared's armor, taking a deep breath to calm his racing thoughts. His hands trembled, but he fought to steady himself. He had almost lost Jared twice in one day, and the fear that there might not be a third chance gripped him. No, third time would not be the charm today! He couldn't let that happen.
"Then stop acting like a fool! You completely forgot your training and just threw yourself out there like mutant fodder!" Etienne raised his voice, frustration spilling over. He didn't want to lose Jared, not like this. And seriously, Jared had been acting like a fool.
"Cause I'm just a useless hunk of meat, that's why!" Jared snapped back, his voice thick with self-loathing. "Useless... cowards... I can't even protect you when you need me the most!"
Etienne froze for a moment, blinking as the weight of Jared's words sank in. There was something much deeper behind this—something more than just ego or a need to prove himself through reckless actions. Etienne could feel it, the real pain Jared was hiding beneath his self-destructive words.
Etienne watched as Jared ripped off his gas mask in a fit of anger, throwing it onto the forest floor and stomping on it. "Fuck Cezar! I don't care anymore!" Jared shouted, his voice breaking. "I should've barged out of that stupid vent and slammed his sorry head into the table's edge, but instead, like a coward, I ran away—refused to believe he was actually doing it to you!"
With the gas mask gone, Etienne saw Jared's angry face unguarded and raw. His face was flushed with rage, veins bulging on his forehead, and his eyes were wild, carrying a storm Etienne couldn't fully grasp. It hit him suddenly—Jared had seen what happened to him last night. A cold rush of ice water spilled down his spine, and for a brief moment, Etienne felt exposed in a way he never had before.
Of all people, Jared was the last person he would have wanted to know what happened.
"I'm just useless, stupid… a coward!" Jared choked out, his voice cracking. "All of that after I promised I would stay by your side! I can't even keep my word! What kind of man am I?!"
Etienne's breath hitched, "Wait... are you saying that you…" He stepped back.
Jared's answer came short and clipped, his eyes avoiding Etienne's in a mixture of guilt and shame. "…I was on the vent."
A flush of embarrassment washed over Etienne, his heart shaking as he turned away. He moved to a dead tree branch nearby and sank down onto it, his posture shrinking with shame. He couldn't bear to look at Jared. The silence between them felt suffocating, and Etienne's mind raced with a thousand emotions he couldn't even begin to untangle.
"I'm sorry you had to see that..." Etienne's voice barely reached Jared, a quiet whisper of guilt that seemed to carry all his shame.
"I'm sorry that I failed to protect you," Jared replied, his voice is calmer now that he already release the storm in his mind.
Etienne let out a soft sigh, feeling the weight of everything hanging between them. "Why do you think you have that responsibility over my safety?" he asked as he removed his gas mask, inhaling the fresh air deeply, trying to ground himself in the moment.
"Because—" Jared tried to speak, but stopped himself, realizing there was no practical reason he could give. It wasn't about logic or justification; it was something deeper. He felt that Etienne belonged to him. And in that moment, it hit him—he wanted Etienne all to himself. He didn't want to share him with anyone. The realization made his stomach churn. He was terrified, because that desire made him feel like he was slipping into the same darkness that Cezar had shown.
He didn't want to be that man. He didn't want to force his dominance over Etienne, to suffocate him. He wanted to be someone Etienne could lean on, someone he could depend on. Not someone who conquered him, who treated him like property or a prize to possess. But the fear still lingered—what if he became just like Cezar? What if he couldn't control the urge to claim Etienne entirely?
Etienne stepped closer to Jared, his touch gentle yet urgent as he reached out to tend to the bleeding wounds. "While you think of the reason, let me take care of it before it gets infected," he said softly, his fingers steady despite the tension in the air.
Jared, still stubborn and withdrawn, didn't fully engage. A heaviness weighed on his chest, unsure if he could truly be the safe place Etienne needed, especially if he let himself fall apart. He felt foreign to himself and his capabilities, conflicted and lost in his own turmoil.
Sensing the hesitation in Jared, Etienne pinched his cheek with a playful smile, trying to cut through the tension. "I bet you'd be the most handsome mutant, but this version is cuter."
That was funny, Jared thought, a small flicker of amusement rising inside him. He really loved Etienne's creative and humorous way of thinking. It was fascinating to him, how his mind worked so effortlessly to lighten the mood—it was just hilarious. Even though it failed to bring a smile to Jared's face, it still managed to soften him enough to let Etienne gently remove his wrecked armguard.
Beneath the broken armguard was a fresh wound from the mutant's bite. While it was mostly scratches, the telltale glisten of saliva indicated the start of potential trouble.
Etienne reached into his pack, pulling out a small vial of purification water. With practiced care, he poured the liquid over the wound, letting it cleanse the area as a faint, soothing glow emanated from the fluid. Once the wound was sterilized, he quickly applied a healing salve and wrapped it securely with a clean bandage.
"There," Etienne said, tying off the bandage with a firm but gentle knot. "Good as new—or close enough." He glanced up at Jared, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "Now, no more reckless heroics, alright? I only have so many supplies."
Jared shook his head, his eyes determined. "I'll protect you, no matter what."
Etienne felt a flicker of happiness when he heard Jared's thoughts, but he also sensed a potential tragedy if Jared stayed trapped in that mindset. So, with a firm but gentle tone, he said, "Look, I like you a lot. But I'd rather see you around doing something cowardly than dying trying to protect me. Do you get it?"
"Why am I here if I don't protect you?" Jared tried to argue, his frustration clear. He was upset, feeling like Etienne was rejecting him.
Etienne placed a hand on Jared's nape, pulling him in gently, and then grabbed his hand. "Look, I might be pretty, but I'm still a man; I can handle myself. You hear me?!"
"Listen—" Jared tried again, his voice filled with conflict.
"No! You're useless to me if you die, you get it?!" Etienne insisted, his eyes sharp but full of care.
"Why do you keep rejecting me?! Am I not enough for you?!" Jared's voice cracked, but it wasn't anger—there was a deep worry in his tone. It hit Etienne like a wake-up call, making him realize what was truly on Jared's mind. It wasn't about thinking Etienne was a weakling—Jared thought that was the only way to show his value, all while overlooking what he'd already given, which was more than enough to Etienne.
Finally, it clicked. Jared was terrified of losing him; afraid that one day Etienne would meet someone else who could offer him what Jared couldn't, and he would be replaced. That fear of rejection, of abandonment, had haunted him, especially from those he cared about.
Etienne could see it now—the way Jared always seemed to feel like he was less than someone else, like he was less than he truly was. He was constantly trying to prove his worth by giving and giving, convinced that if he stopped, he'd be discarded, replaced. Etienne understood now that this stemmed from Jared's relationship with Charles. Charles had only ever responded to Jared when Jared did what he wanted, and if he chose a different path, Charles would punish him with jealousy.
Etienne's heart ached, understanding just how deeply those scars ran. And now, it seemed they were starting to poison their connection, making everything between them more complicated than it had ever been before.
Etienne figured it was time to speak seriously, that he is nothing like his ex. But how could he say it without making Jared feel dictated to or exposed? How could he tell him without making him become dependent on his love? Etienne had been under someone's control for so long; he hated being dominated. He didn't want to do the same to anyone else, especially not to Jared.
"I know how you feel," Etienne said softly, holding Jared's hand, his voice steady but filled with empathy. "But you have to believe that you are enough. Maybe someone made you feel like you always have to prove yourself, or you'll be replaced. But how can you know that you're enough if you don't believe it yourself? And if you don't know that you're enough, how can you believe that, to someone, you are more than enough?"
"I don't understand," Jared said, his voice filled with confusion. "What did I give that's enough? I got nothing to give..." His eyes were distant, weighed down by the reality of his situation. Outside of this dream simulation, things were even worse. He was trapped in a toxic cycle with Charles, who tried to fix him, control his wild behavior with the threat of pain—like a circus lion forced to perform. When someone try to fix your true essence, something that makes you, you, and mold it into something else that wasn't you at all, thinking that it's best for you.... it will make someone feel like they are never enough.
"Sometimes... even your presence is already a gift to someone," Etienne said carefully, glancing at Jared quietly. He hoped, with all his heart, that Jared would finally begin to understand.
"What? How?" Jared asked, still confused. The idea of just showing up and doing nothing being enough didn't make sense to him. Effort, sweat, blood, and tears—he believed that's how much someone meant to someone else, didn't it?
"Just imagine someone that you would feel happy to be with, even if they do nothing. Just being with them brings you happiness that nothing else can give." His words were meant to be a quiet confession of his feelings for Jared, but instead, they made Jared feel exposed about how he felt exactly towards Etienne. However, it successfully make sense now, everything that Etienne told him about just being present as who you truly are is already enough.
Etienne gently squeezed Jared's hand, his thumb brushing over his knuckles with a tenderness that spoke volumes. His voice was more earnest now, his words wrapped in the warmth of genuine care. "So, Jared, please do your best to have faith in yourself, okay? You have to believe that not everybody is there to come at you. Not everyone is your enemy. Please believe that there's someone who sees you as irreplaceable, even when you think you're full of flaws. That's all I can tell you."
Etienne thought to himself, This is as much as I can tell you, in hope that it can break your self-sabotaging mind. The rest is up to you, whether you want to stay stubborn or choose to change how you see the world.
He truly hoped that his words would reach Jared, that they would serve as a catalyst to break through the stubborn, limiting beliefs that had held him back for so long. It wasn't easy to change the way someone saw themselves, but Etienne believed in him, and he hoped Jared would find a way to believe in himself too.
Jared misinterpreted Etienne's words, thinking that Etienne was implying he would let Jared go to love someone else because they weren't on the same page. The mere thought of Etienne feeling that way about someone else made Jared's heart race in panic. He couldn't bear the idea of losing Etienne—not now, not ever. He wouldn't let Etienne go, no matter what. Self-sabotaging is crazy, isn't it?
"I want to be your partner as long as possible. That's why… I don't want you to protect me," Etienne confessed, sensing the anxiety bubbling up in Jared. "I will take care of myself for you, so..."
Etienne squeezed Jared's hand gently, his voice steady but filled with warmth. "Please take care of yourself for me."
Jared, his anxiety easing with Etienne's words, asked quietly, "You mean it?"
Etienne nodded, his gaze soft and reassuring, making Jared feel like there was nothing else he needed to prove. For a moment, everything felt simpler. And the way Etienne looked at him—it was as if Jared had just seen him in a new light, more beautiful than ever before.
Jared felt like he already give so many promises that he can't accomplish. Then he realized that he throw his words around, making promises without even fulfill one of it, it's all because he want Etienne to invest and keep believe in him. It was insecurity, a fear that if he did not promise him, Etienne would leave.
Jared look at Etienne once again, and in his tender green eyes, he can see now, this person is not Charles.
"What is your name?" Jared asks. A question that makes Etienne's heart flustered.
"My name is Etienne."
"Etienne," Jared finally call the name for the first time.
Maybe, Etienne thought to himself, maybe Jared is worth my time after all. I'll wait a little longer. Maybe if I do, I can really take him with me—out of this small, suffocating island.