Jared sat on the workout bench, gripping a pair of 45-kilogram dumbbells in each hand. His reflection stared back at him from the cracked mirror on the wall, his expression set with unshakable determination. Sweat dripped down his brow, tracing a path over his sharp features and pooling at his collarbone. Every muscle in his arms and shoulders strained under the weight as he lifted, the veins on his forearms bulging with the effort.
He focused on his form, his breathing steady but labored. With every rep, he channeled his anger, his regret, and his self-loathing into the motion. In the mirror, he didn't just see his own face; he saw Cezar's shadow looming over him. The man was massive—taller, broader, a hulking force of intimidation. Jared could still remember the sight of Cezar's hands on Etienne, the way they dwarfed his partner's delicate frame. The memory stoked a fire in his chest, one that burned hotter with each lift.
I have to be stronger, he thought, his jaw clenching as he forced the weights up again. Stronger than Cezar. Strong enough to protect Etienne from that old creep! His arms trembled as the dumbbells reached their peak, but he refused to falter.
Each time he feels tired, the sound of Cezar's fist hitting Etienne's face echoes in his mind, making him push through with trembling hands. I'm going to beat you up, you freak! Etienne is mine!
The image of him fighting Cezar one day plays in his mind. In his vision, he beats Cezar, landing strong punches on his face. He even rewinds to the time when he was in the vent and saw Etienne helplessly trying to push Cezar away, while Cezar reveled in that helpless struggle. He imagines breaking out of the vent, jumping down into the General's office, and lunging at Cezar—the man twice his size—and pushing him away from Etienne.
"Stay away from my boyfriend!" Jared yells in his imagination as he beats Cezar up without mercy.
Wait—boyfriend? Isn't that going too far? He criticizes himself. Oh, right, he's too gorgeous to be my boyfriend.
So Jared revises the scream in his mind, shouting instead, "Stay away from Etienne!"
Now that sounds right.
Something suddenly interrupts his fantasy; Etienne picks up a weight plate and starts doing squats right in front of him. Since both of them are facing the mirror, all he can see is Etienne's back. And there's nothing better to see than his bubbly, perfectly shaped bottom.
Cezar is forgotten. The dumbbells are forgotten.
Jared tries to look away, but that pair of asses is just too inviting. Jared swears they shine!
Once Etienne realizes that his distraction plan is successful, he wiggles his ass, teasing Jared, who proceeds to grin and look away shyly. Finally giving up on the dumbbells entirely, Jared rests them on his knees. Etienne glances back at Jared and winks.
This pervert knows exactly what he's doing!
Jared picks up his towel and throws it at Etienne.
Etienne responds dramatically, as if personally insulted, before picking up the towel from the gym floor. Then, in a sensual gesture, he wipes the towel across the cleavage of his ass, his flirtatious gaze flickering toward Jared the entire time as if saying, I know you want me, you just have to be honest.
He finishes his performance by throwing the towel into Jared's face and walking away.
Jared lets the towel stay on his face for a moment—it helps hide his blushing cheeks and possible foolish grins.
"Damn, he's so gorgeous…" he mutters. He remove the towel with determination, "I have to get stronger and be the man that he need!"
Once the distraction leaves, Jared is ready to continue his training, but then he realizes he's completely lost count, so he start from zero again.
***
The next morning, Jared slumped on the edge of the bunk, his arms hanging limply at his sides. His shoulders ached like fire, and every slight movement sent a wave of pain rippling through his muscles. He grimaced, trying and failing to lift his arm high enough to scratch the back of his head.
Etienne climb down from his top bunk as he wake up from the sleep, "Jared, let's go shower, today is our patrol day." Then he realized Jared looked unwell. "What happened to you? You look like someone hit you with a truck."
Jared groaned, leaning forward. "Training happened. I can't move anything."
Etienne nagged, "See? I knew this was going to happen." He rummaged through the bedside table drawer, searching for a tube of massage balm. Once he found it, he began massaging Jared's arms with care. "The moment I saw your arms trembling, I tried to get you to stop your dumbbell training, but you just kept going. You're absolutely terrible at reading my signs, Jared."
Jared just grunted in response. The massage felt great, but his mind was preoccupied with more pressing matters—like getting his stubborn, useless muscles to cooperate again. He needed them to wield his rifles during patrol in a few minutes, and after that, he had kickboxing training scheduled. The thought of stumbling through it in his current state made him even more stressed.
Etienne's hands moved to his forearm, his touch firm but soothing. "You could at least pretend to appreciate this, you know," he said, feigning offense. "Most people would kill for a personal massage."
Jared let out another grunt, his gaze fixed on the floor. "I appreciate it, I just need my arms to work again."
Etienne rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. You can't even lift your arms. It's okay, I'll tell the Visor about your situation." The Visor was the one responsible for keeping track of everyone's schedules in the bunker. "Just rest for today so you can get back in action as soon as possible."
"If I wasn't there, you'd be patrolling alone," Jared tried to push himself up, but his arms were too exhausted to cooperate.
Etienne smirked before teasing, "No, I wouldn't be alone. Someone else would be assigned to accompany me as my new partner."
Jared's eyes suddenly widened. Etienne struggled to hold back his laughter, fully aware of what was running through Jared's mind. He continued, "Probably someone handsome, with a big, muscular body who can protect me from danger..."
To add more fuel to the fire, he mentioned a name Jared hated so much. "I heard Archilles Hunt is available as a substitute today..."
Jared's spirits flared, and Etienne immediately regretted stoking the fire. As Jared began to get dressed, Etienne scrambled to stop him. "Cutie, seriously, you need to rest today, or your muscles will only get worse!"
"I'm not letting anyone replace me!!" Jared growled, anger fuelling him as he forced his arms to cooperate.
"No, please rest, no one will replace you, I swear!" Etienne begged as he try to drag Jared back to his bunk.
"Where's the painkiller?" Jared furiously rummaged through his medicine box with his trembling hands.
This is really bad! Etienne quickly sabotaged the box before Jared could grab the painkiller spray. "Uh-oh, you're not applying that to your screaming muscles!"
"Etienne, give it back!" Jared stretched his arm out, but the moment he did, a wave of pain shot through him as his muscles protested, making him groans in pain.
Etienne placed his fingers gently on Jared's chest and nudged him to lie down on the bed.
"W-what are you doing?" Jared stuttered.
"Lay down!" Etienne sassily commanded. Then, he rested his body on Jared's torso as he softly caressed his hair, meeting Jared's gaze. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was just messing with you. I know how important this is to you, and I respect that. Besides, we can switch schedules with another team. I don't want to go out there with anyone else too, you know? It's not as fun as when I'm with you."
Then, ending his reassurance, Etienne poked Jared gently on the tip of his nose, his playful grin softening the moment.
Hearing what Etienne just said made Jared feel ashamed of himself. The voices in his head immediately began to torture him with more negativity: "Aww, such a baby. You're so insecure that Etienne has to reassure your feeble heart? You're a weakling! You don't deserve him!"
"So, no worries. Let me take care of it, and I'll be back real quick. Oh, what do you want to eat? I'll grab something when I pass the cafeteria," Etienne said as he stood up from the bed, making sure to take the painkiller spray with him. That had to stay away from Jared, or he'd do something stupid.
"How about I meet you there?" Jared tried to stand, but his elbow just wouldn't cooperate, so he ended up back on the bed.
"Negative. Rest here, I know your comfort food, and today, let me take care of you!" Etienne said, leaving the unit with the painkiller spray.
***
"Today, I have a baby!" Etienne squeals as he scoops chicken porridge from the bowl and happily spoon-feeds Jared.
"This is not my comfort food," Jared protests, but still opens his mouth to welcome a scoop of chicken porridge.
"Shut up and eat!" Etienne shoves it gently.
"How did you manage to convince the Visor?" Jared asks, knowing how difficult it was to get that boring, rigid old man to agree.
"Negotiation skills," Etienne explains briefly and neutrally. Jared doesn't need to know that Etienne had to flirt with the Visor, who secretly couldn't stop staring at his fine lips. "I have a knack for persuasion, you know?"
"He's always staring at your back, of course, it's easy for you," Jared says, opening his mouth for another spoonful.
"Oh, really? I didn't notice he had his eyes on me," Etienne pretends to be shocked. He knows exactly who is interested in him, and that's why he shows his masculine gestures to people he's not attracted to. He doesn't need unwanted attention from anyone, and pretending to be clueless about it helps keep Jared calmer.
"I know there are a lot of people interested in you," Jared said with a grin, shaking his head.
"Oh, I didn't think you'd care that much. I thought you only cared about that blondie," Etienne smirked.
That remark brought Jared back to the past—the three years they'd been together as roommates. Back then, Jared always chose Charles over Etienne. He would even sacrifice their time together just because Charles needed something. Jared felt he had to do it; otherwise, he feared being replaced. He didn't want anyone else stepping in for Charles; he wanted to be the man Charles relied on.
But Charles wasn't one to wait. If Jared was unavailable, Charles would simply ask someone else for help. And every time Jared saw someone else assisting Charles, it left him feeling useless and unimportant. Yet, despite the frustration gnawing at him, Jared couldn't bring himself to confront Charles about how he felt.
Charles always kept a distance, avoiding any real conversation with Jared. There was a wall between them, one that Jared never had the courage—or the opportunity—to break down. And when Archie entered the picture, that wall became insurmountable. Charles would light up around Archie, his attention completely diverted, leaving Jared as little more than an afterthought.
In those moments, Jared couldn't shake the sting of being forgotten. The person he'd poured so much of himself into didn't even seem to care.
Eventually, Jared realized where his heart truly belonged.
It happened on a special night—a party where men and women gathered once a month to find potential mating partners. Jared attended because it was expected of him as a young adult. Humanity needed to reproduce, given the circumstances. Who could blame the situation?
However, instead of finding a fitting woman at that party, Jared found Etienne. He was drunk, dressed in a revealing black leotard, and boldly approached Jared to offer a dance. Holding Etienne in his arms during that dance, Jared felt the rest of the world disappear. He got lost in Etienne's green eyes—he looked breathtakingly beautiful. For three years, they'd shared a room, but Jared had been too focused on Charles to notice what was right in front of him. The love he had been searching for, the spark that could ignite a fire in his heart, had been with him all along.
When Etienne kissed him that night, Jared realized that love wasn't some unattainable dream. It was real, tangible, and in his grasp.
But self-doubt is a stubborn enemy. Even when you know something is within reach, your mind can play tricks on you, convincing you that things might not be as good as they seem.
"Eat plenty so you can grow taller than me, cutie," Etienne says, gently shoving the last spoonful of chicken porridge into Jared's mouth. After placing the bowl on the table, he dramatically reveals two bacon cheeseburgers. "Look! Your comfort food!"
Jared smiles, immediately recognizing the smell. It's his favorite. "You bought two? Are they both for me?"
"No, one's for me. I love these things too," Etienne replies as he unwraps a burger for Jared. He wants Jared's arms to rest today, so he takes the time to feed him. For some reason, Etienne enjoys this moment—feeding Jared makes his heart flutter with happiness. A small part of him even wishes Jared's arms would stay sore every day so he'd have a reason to take care of him like this.
"You're not eating?" Jared notices that Etienne's share is still untouched.
Etienne shakes his head and offers Jared another bite. "Don't mind that. Here, eat more..."
***
It's a struggle, but not impossible. With trembling hands and numbing shoulder muscles, Jared successfully overcomes the ordeal of the toilet and flushes. The simple task feels monumental, but he manages it. Having sore muscles is not a pleasant experience; next time, Jared will remember not to overdo his training. If we don't rest when we need to, our bodies will eventually force us to rest without compromise.
When Jared steps out of the bathroom, Etienne is waiting patiently, leaning against the wall with a relaxed, gentle smile and a soft glance. His arms are folded, and his legs are crossed in a casual pose. With his slightly effeminate appearance, Jared guesses that there probably weren't any creeps lurking in the toilet while he was inside.
"Oh, looks like you don't need me to clean that part," Etienne quips, his tone light and accompanied by a flirtatious tilt of his head, his lips curving into a coy smile.
Jared freezes for a moment, then he slowly giggles, "of course you don't need to."
Etienne quickly grabs his arm, his touch light but insistent, and guides him into the public bathroom. His eyes glint with a teasing warmth as he leans in slightly. "Anyway, cutie, we need to clean your body. We know you can't shower, so let me----"
Whoa, wait! The thought of having Etienne's hands all over his body to apply soap makes Jared's face flush hot. "No, no need. I can do it," he blurts out, his voice sharper than he intended.
Etienne raises an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "I just want to scrub your back. What are you thinking about?"
"It's fine. I can do it myself," Jared quickly sidesteps the conversation and enters the shower room.
With patience and gritted teeth, he ignores the pain radiating through his sore muscles as he forces himself to turn the valve. Finally, the shower sputters to life, warm water streaming down his reddish-brown skin in soothing rivulets. Relief washes over him—until he's hit with a new problem.
His hands cannot go higher than his elbows. It's just loosing all the strength, they won't go up!
Oh shit! What should I do now? Maybe today is a no-shampoo day. Oh well....
As he contemplates his predicament, he notices movement out of the corner of his eye. Etienne, standing beside him on the next unoccupied public shower head, is mimicking his struggle: both of his hands awkwardly stopping mid-air, unable to raise higher than his elbows.
"What are you doing?" Jared asks.
"I don't know," Etienne replies, a humorous grin spreading across his face. "I think I'm praying...."
"Stop mocking me," Jared groans.
Etienne was right. Today, it was better for Jared to sit on the stool and let Etienne scrub his back. Etienne even took the time to clean his hair with shampoo, his fingers gentle but firm, not hesitating to clean every inch. It was a gesture of someone who truly cared.
But with every touch, every careful movement, Jared felt even more useless. Etienne was giving so much of himself, and it felt like Jared had nothing to offer in return. It seemed inevitable that one day, someone better than him would come along—someone who wouldn't rely on Etienne and could be useful in ways Jared never could. And then, he would lose Etienne forever. The thought weighed heavily on his chest, sinking him into a pit of depression.
"Cutie, I've got a schedule to water the plants on the farm after this," Etienne said, his hands still moving with gentle scrubs on Jared's back. "What about you?"
"I'm doing the laundry," Jared muttered, not meeting Etienne's eyes.
"You can't do the laundry with those hands. Let's get you to the infirmary so the doctor can give you permission to rest."
"Yeah, sure." Jared exhaled deeply, shoulders sagging, and then, with a sigh, he muttered, "Etienne, I really appreciate what you did."
"Pardon?" Etienne leaned in closer, his voice a little softer, making sure he hadn't heard Jared wrong.
"I really appreciate what you did. You're always there for me. I'm so grateful that I met you," Jared repeated, this time with a bit more conviction, though still avoiding Etienne's gaze.
The words, simple as they were, made Etienne's expression soften, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Jared was about to continue, to tell Etienne how much he felt like a burden, how maybe it was better if he just walked away from Etienne to spare him from the weight Jared felt he carried. But Etienne beat him to it.
"You might not believe this, but... I'm also grateful for you, Jared," Etienne said, his voice unexpectedly warm. "It always feels safest when I'm around you. When you're born with beauty, you will know how much it becomes a double-edged sword. So to have someone I can vibe with while feeling safe, someone who actually likes to be with me without thinking there's an ulterior motive behind it... it means a lot."
Jared's lips tightened, the words he'd almost said—about walking away, about being a burden—stuck in his throat. He never thought of himself in that way, as someone who already made Etienne feel safe. The idea lingered, shifting his perspective just slightly, and for the first time in a while, Jared finally realized what he actually overlooked about what he actually gives.