Chereads / The Lazy Chronicles: Apartment of the Apocalypse / Chapter 21 - Chapter 21: The Accidental Pirate Queen

Chapter 21 - Chapter 21: The Accidental Pirate Queen

The desert oasis had returned to a calm lull after the festival. The villagers were back to their daily routines, the chieftain was busy tending to governance, and Mallory was... well, back to her usual state of lounging. She lay sprawled on a plush rug in the palace's guest quarters, nibbling on dates while her companions debated their next steps.

"We can't stay here forever," Greg said, pacing the room as usual. "We've got a world to save, remember?"

"Save? No. Survive? Yes," Mallory corrected, her voice muffled by a mouthful of baklava. "And I am surviving just fine, thank you."

Altair, polishing his cutlass in the corner, chuckled. "You can't lounge your way through every problem, you know."

"Oh, watch me," Mallory replied, tossing a date pit into a nearby vase.

Before Greg could explode in frustration, Zara entered the room holding a rolled-up map.

"We might have a lead on your next 'adventure,'" she said, laying the map on the table. "This was discovered in the archives beneath the palace."

The map showed a detailed layout of the desert, with an X marked near the coast.

"Let me guess," Mallory said, sitting up just enough to glance at the map. "That's treasure."

"Possibly," Zara admitted. "But it's more likely a hidden weapon or resource we could use against the zombies."

Greg's eyes lit up. "Then we have to go!"

Mallory groaned. "Do we, though?"

"Yes, we do," Greg said firmly.

---

The group set off the next morning, much to Mallory's dismay. They were provided with a small caravan and a guide to lead them through the shifting sands. Mallory had her usual setup: a cushioned seat mounted on the lead camel, complete with an umbrella to shield her from the sun.

"I feel like I'm being punished for my laziness," she muttered, sipping from her thermos.

"You are," Greg said without looking at her.

After several hours of travel, the sands gave way to rocky cliffs, and the faint smell of salt filled the air. Ahead, the glimmering sea stretched to the horizon, its surface dotted with what looked like abandoned ships.

"I thought you said this was a desert," Alex said, staring at the unexpected sight.

"It is," their guide replied. "But this area was once a great harbor. The sands reclaimed it long ago."

Altair's eyes gleamed as he surveyed the ships. "Looks like there's still some treasure to be found."

Mallory groaned. "Great. More work."

---

The group chose the largest ship, a majestic vessel with tattered sails that still bore the insignia of a long-forgotten kingdom. As they climbed aboard, Mallory muttered complaints about splinters and the smell of rotting wood.

"Stop whining," Greg snapped. "This is important."

"I'm just saying, this ship better have air conditioning," Mallory replied.

The ship creaked ominously as they explored its decks. Below, they found a locked chest surrounded by strange symbols carved into the floor.

"Finally, something interesting," Altair said, kneeling to inspect the chest.

Greg frowned. "Those symbols look like a trap. Be careful."

Altair waved him off. "Relax. I know what I'm doing."

Before anyone could stop him, he opened the chest. A burst of light filled the room, and suddenly, the ship began to shake.

"You just had to touch it," Mallory said, clutching her staff.

---

The shaking stopped as abruptly as it had started, and the group was greeted by a loud, booming voice.

"WHO DARES DISTURB THE TREASURE OF CAPTAIN BLOODBEARD?"

A spectral figure materialized before them—a ghostly pirate captain with a menacing scowl and an impressive beard.

"It's always ghosts," Mallory muttered.

"State yer business!" the captain demanded, his translucent hand resting on the hilt of his cutlass.

Altair stepped forward, his charm turned up to full blast. "We're humble adventurers, seeking to rid the world of evil and restore balance. Surely a great captain like yourself would understand."

The ghost eyed him suspiciously. "Ye think flattery will get ye out of this mess?"

Altair hesitated. "Well... yes?"

Before the ghost could respond, Mallory stepped forward. "Look, we're not here to steal your treasure. We're here to survive a zombie apocalypse, and apparently, this ship is our next stop on the road to not dying."

The ghost stared at her for a long moment before bursting into laughter. "I like yer attitude, lass. Lazy, but honest."

Mallory grinned. "Finally, someone gets me."

---

To everyone's surprise, Captain Bloodbeard declared that Mallory would take his place as the ship's captain.

"Wait, what?" Mallory said, stepping back. "No, no, no. I don't do responsibility."

"Too late," the ghost said, handing her a glowing compass. "This ship answers only to its captain. Ye'll need it to find the treasure—or whatever it is ye seek."

Mallory looked at the compass, which spun wildly before settling on a direction.

"Great," she said flatly. "Now I'm a pirate. Just what I always wanted."

---

With Mallory as their reluctant captain, the group set sail—or rather, the ship began to glide across the desert sands as if they were water.

Greg was tasked with navigating, though he frequently argued with the ghostly crew that appeared to assist them. Alex took to repairing the ship's aging structure, while Altair thoroughly enjoyed his role as first mate.

Mallory, of course, spent most of her time lounging in the captain's quarters, which had miraculously restored itself to luxury standards.

"You know," Altair said, leaning against the doorframe, "you could actually try being a captain."

"I am being a captain," Mallory replied, gesturing to the compass. "I pointed the ship in the right direction. Job done."

Altair laughed. "You're impossible."

---

As the ship approached the X marked on the map, the sands began to churn. A massive creature burst from the dunes—a sand kraken, its tentacles writhing as it attacked the ship.

"Of course there's a kraken," Mallory said, rolling her eyes.

The crew sprang into action. Greg and Alex fought off the tentacles with swords and shields, while Altair swung from the rigging, landing precise strikes.

Mallory remained on the quarterdeck, observing the chaos.

"Are you going to help?" Greg shouted.

Mallory sighed. "Fine."

She raised her staff, and a burst of light shot toward the kraken. The creature let out a deafening roar before retreating beneath the sands.

"Happy now?" Mallory asked.

Greg glared at her but said nothing.

---

The ship finally reached the X, where they found a hidden cavern filled with glowing crystals. In the center of the cavern stood a pedestal holding an ancient hourglass.

"This must be it," Zara said, her voice filled with awe.

Mallory approached the hourglass cautiously. "So, what does it do? Control time? Grant wishes? Make unlimited snacks?"

The ghostly figure of Captain Bloodbeard appeared once more. "This be the Hourglass of Eternity. It can slow or speed the passage of time—but beware, it comes with a price."

Mallory raised an eyebrow. "What kind of price?"

"That," the ghost said with a grin, "ye'll have to discover for yerself."

Greg frowned. "We should take it. If it can help us against the zombies—"

"It could also make things worse," Alex interjected.

Mallory, ignoring their debate, reached for the hourglass. "I'm taking it. Worst case, we use it as a paperweight."

---

To Be Continued...