The morning sun filtered through the crooked trees, casting long, lazy shadows over our disaster of a camp. I'd call it rustic if I was being kind— but it's more like a construction site run by hyperactive toddlers than grown adults.
I mean, Tink was currently wrestling with his own boots, tied together in a bizarre knot only someone with too much free time could accomplish. Boulder, bless his rock-hard brain, was trying to "fix" a broken shovel by repeatedly smacking it with yep, another rock.
"Y'know what? This is ridiculous team is what I've been entrusted with. Truly, the gods have blessed me," I muttered to myself, watching Boulder work his 'magic.' on that shovel, which, seriously stop(ಠ_ಠ)
It's been three months since I found myself reincarnated in this chaotic, monster-filled world, and so far, life had been... surprisingly good. But if there was one thing I knew from my previous life, it was this: when life gets too peaceful, a disaster is just around the corner. Like a particularly petty ex who shows up when you're finally happy.
Bless those who faced that! And currently facing that with patience.(￣ω￣)
Anyway, that meant we needed to prepare.
Today, we'd start on finishing the base. A storm—metaphorical or literal—was coming, and I wasn't about to let this ragtag group of goblins, ogres, lizardmen, and imps get wiped out because we weren't ready, hell no.
I mentally divided the tasks while trying not to cry at how low my standards for "competent" had fallen to rock bottom
o(╥﹏╥)o
First task: More walls. Boulder and the goblins could handle that. At least goblins could work fast if you yelled loud enough, and Boulder… well, his sheer size made him good at lifting things. Or at least smashing them into place. I need to teach them how later, for now that will be enough.
Second task: Hunting. Scarface and the ogres could tackle that. With Scarface leading, I don't think any ogre would dare hoard food for themselves. Mostly because they knew Scarface wouldn't hesitate to remove their favorite arm if he caught them sneaking a snack.
Third task: Storage. Tink, Gorn, and Grumpy could build a food storage unit. I wasn't entirely convinced Tink wouldn't accidentally invent a catapult with the help of Gorn, that's why Grump is with them. If I found a relic to keep things cold—so we could build a fridge or something—our winter preparations would be golden.
After all, if it were back on my world, the first day I reincarnated here was the beginning of june, and now it's the beginning of fall.
That left me with the most dangerous job: scouting. Alone. Again.
Last I went out was when I fought the mushroom king and got the relic which granted me the spore cloud skill.
I need to search the forest for more relics, something to preserve food, and maybe some leather. If I could find decent materials, I could maybe, politely ask the female goblins and ogres to make bags or armor, I heard they were good at that from Boulder. Although speaking of females...
I suddenly frowned as a stray thought hit me. Now that I thought about it, there were no female ogres or goblins around.
"…Where are all the females?"
---
"Hey, Scarface!" I called out, catching the big guy mid-sprint as he chased after an imp that had snatched his boots. (Seriously, today is not a good day for boots.) "Where are the female ogres in the tribe?"
Scarface stopped and stared at me like I'd just asked him to explain the meaning of life.
"Oh. Them?" he grumbled, scratching his massive head. "The young'uns went off to look for mates. The wives of the older ogres relocated somewhere deep in the forest."
"…Wait. What? Why?"
"They said we stink, and the cave too," Scarface said with a straight face. "Said they couldn't handle the smell and wanted some peace and quiet." He sighed, looking downright gloomy. "The others are out hunting. Said they'd come back in winter. But with how they looked? I doubt it."
I blinked. "So… you're telling me the females abandoned camp because you guys stink?"
Scarface nodded solemnly. "Pretty much."
I opened my mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. What was I even supposed to say to that? That was just sadder than what I thought was the reason(•_•;)
Before I could process the sad state of ogre hygiene of the past, Gorn—the leader of the goblins—ambled over with his own tale of woe. "The female goblins are the same," he said, offering a defeated shrug. "They left to look for smarter mates. Told us we were too dumb to deserve 'em. Just packed up and then poof, vanished."
He gave me a self-deprecating smile that looked oddly pitiful on a goblin.
I stared at them both. These grown monsters, hardened warriors, looking like abandoned puppies over the fact that their women had ditched them.
"I think I may have stepped on a mine here," I muttered under my breath, sweat beading on my forehead. I could almost see the gloomy aura hanging around them.
...Time for an emergency subject change.
"ANYWAY!" I shouted, clapping my hands together so loudly it startled a nearby goblin into falling face-first into the mud. "Gather everyone up! I've got an announcement!"
---
A ragtag crowd of goblins, ogres, lizardmen, and imps assembled before me, a mix of curiosity and sleepiness in their beady eyes. Some of the goblins were picking their noses. Boulder was still holding his rock. Scarface stood front and center, arms crossed like a grumpy bodyguard.
"Alright, listen up!" I declared, hands on my hips. "Today, we're finishing the base! Stronger foes are out there, and we need to be ready!"
That got a few mutters of agreement. One goblin let out a random cheer, but I ignored it.
"You'll all be split into groups!" I pointed dramatically at Boulder, who blinked slowly like he hadn't been paying attention. "Boulder and the goblins—your job is to finish the walls. I don't care if you have to stack rocks, wood, or mud. Just make it look wall-like and durable, durable enough to withstand Boulder's serious punch."
Boulder grunted. I took that as agreement.
"Scarface!" I said, turning to the hulking ogre. "You and the ogres are on hunting duty. Bring back meat, fish, mushrooms—anything edible. And no hoarding!" I shot a glare at one of the smaller ogres, who immediately looked guilty.
"Tink, Gorn, and Grumpy—you're building the food storage. We need somewhere to keep supplies for winter, so try not to set anything on fire, Tink."
Tink grinned innocently, as if the idea hadn't even occurred to him. Very *believable*.
"The lizardmen and imps—you're on lookout duty. If anything remotely hostile comes near this camp, sound the alarm. Preferably before it eats anyone."
Finally, I straightened my back and announced, "As for me, I'll be scouting the forest for relics, namely food-preservation tools, and leather. If I find anything, we'll use it to keep our supplies fresh and maybe make some armor. I'll be doing that for a few days—a few weeks at most—so Scarface and Gorn are in charge while I'm away."
The crowd broke into murmurs at that, and Scarface shot me an accusatory glare. "Don't leave me with them," his expression seemed to say. Sorry Scarface, sacrifices must be made(⌒_⌒;)
"And please," I added, holding up a hand. "Don't destroy the camp while I'm gone. I swear, if I come back and find this place on fire…"
"We'll behave," Scarface grumbled reluctantly.
"Good," I said, smirking. "Scarface, Gorn—good luck. You're going to need it."
As I turned to grab my gear and head into the forest, I could already hear Tink loudly brainstorming what kind of 'cool' inventions he could build. Boulder was hitting the walls with a stick, presumably testing their durability. Scarface was yelling at an ogre for eating something off the ground.
Yep. Totally going to come back to find the camp intact
（＾ｖ＾）
"…I should really scout faster."