As the first rays of sunlight crept into the cave, I stirred awake, blinking at the chaos surrounding me. Picture this: a sea of ogres sprawled across the cave floor like oversized toddlers at naptime. Some were snoring so loudly the cave walls practically vibrated, some were mumbling what I think were the words to a goblin lullaby, and others? They were kicking each other in their sleep.
At that moment, I had one very clear and very *profound* thought:
'We need a larger space.'(●__●)
I pushed myself up, dodging a stray foot aimed suspiciously at my face, and surveyed the room. There was Ogre Number 5 using Ogre Number 2 as a pillow. Boulder was curled up in the corner like a very large, very sad boulder. Scarface was snoring so loud I half-expected the cave ceiling to crumble in protest.
Yes, I named them like that cuz they said they dont know what they're name is (•_•;)
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Yup. This is the exact opposite of efficient living."
Technically speaking, we could build huts, just like the goblins, lizardmen, imps, and even Boulder—because for some reason, Boulder gets his own special rock hut. As for why Boulder is currently here in the cave too, that's cuz of the fact he "fought" with his rock house and didn't wanna go back....
(´･_･`)
Yeah, I know, I don't wanna think too much about it, so I just allowed him to do whatever.
Anyway, back to topic I asked Scarface about it before, he just shrugged and said,
"Ogres like staying close. Makes it easier to protect each other."
Great. So because of the ogres' love for team bonding and cozy proximity, I was now looking at a scene that could only be described as "chaotic floor pancake." (-_-;)
I glanced at my map (which was still scribbled on a piece of Boulders torn cloth) and mentally crossed out today's plan to scout the western side of the forest. Nope. No adventuring for me today.
"This mess is a priority," I muttered. "Before one of these guys accidentally flattens me in their sleep."
---
As the ogres finally began to stir, it was like watching a slow-motion monster documentary.
Scarface was the first to rise, yawning so wide I half-expected a bat to fly out of his mouth. Boulder rolled over, groaning like the floor had personally offended him. Ogre Number 3 sat up and stretched, smacking Ogre Number 4 in the face in the process.
"Morning!" I called out cheerily, narrowly dodging a random piece of flying debris (possibly a shoe? Who knows at this point).
Scarface scratched his head. "What's with all the energy, Boss? Too early…"
I cleared my throat, stepping up onto a rock to gain some height—because let's face it, giving a rousing speech while being a foot tall surrounded by giants has its challenges.
"Alright, listen up, everyone! We have a problem!" I declared, hands on my hips.
Ogre Number 7 blinked at me. "What problem? Me hungry."
"That's not the problem right now," I snapped, pointing dramatically at the sea of bodies sprawled across the cave floor. "This is the problem! Look at yourselves! You're all sleeping on top of each other like you've been thrown into a laundry basket."
Scarface squinted around, then shrugged. "It's fine. Ogre pile is comfy."
"It's not fine!" I yelled, my voice echoing off the cave walls. "One wrong roll and I'll end up squished! And don't even get me started on how long it takes for everyone to wake up when half the camp is being used as a mattress."
Several ogres scratched their heads as if I'd just asked them to solve an advanced math problem.
"Look," I said, trying a different angle. "Don't you all want more space? Your own little spots to relax, sleep, and… I don't know, not kick each other in the face?!"
There was a murmur of agreement at this. Ogre Number 4 rubbed his bruised cheek, nodding vigorously. "I do get kicked a lot."
"Exactly!" I pointed at him. "It's time we fix this. Today, we're upgrading the ogre living situation. We're building huts, we're making space, and we're turning this cave into something that doesn't look like an ogre daycare center during nap time!"
---
Scarface frowned, crossing his massive arms. "But ogres live together to protect each other."
"I get that!" I said, already prepared for this argument. "So we'll build huts close together. Like a village but, you know, bigger. We'll still be a team! You'll just have your own spots so you're not accidentally using each other as pillows or punching bags."
Boulder grunted from the corner. "Huts sound nice. Can I have another one made of stone?"
I waved a hand. "No, Boulder. You already have your own rock house."
I watched Boulder grumble about how his house was "Cheating" on him... I really don't wanna delve into that if I can (╯︵╰)
The ogres started nodding, some even getting excited about the idea of their own space. Ogre Number 3 turned to Number 6 and said, "I'm gonna make mine look fancy. Maybe decorate it with some bones."
"Classy," I muttered under my breath, but hey, progress is progress.
---
With the ogres on board, it was time to get to work. I began organizing them into groups.
"Alright, Scarface, you'll help me gather materials. Boulder, you're on rock duty—find stones we can use for foundations. Everyone else, start clearing this cave. I want the place looking spick-and-span! We'll mark out hut areas so everyone knows their spot."
Scarface grunted. "This gonna take long?"
"Not if you stop asking questions and start lifting logs."
Unfortunately for us, there's not enough space outside for the whole of us, what with the fact that the lizardmen has over a dozen or so members, the goblins having more than 20 members, as for the Imps and Tink?.... Yeah let's not get close to that, so currently, the cave is where we'll build the huts.
---
What followed was, arguably, the most chaotic "construction project" in history. Boulder kept bringing rocks far too big for the huts until I told him, "We're building houses, not castles!" Ogre Number 5 wandered off to chase a butterfly instead of clearing debris. And at one point, Ogre Number 2 decided to test his strength by throwing a tree trunk across the clearing.
"That's not how we build walls!" I screamed as the trunk crashed into the forest.
---
Hours later, progress was slow but steady. Huts were starting to take shape—well, vaguely hut-shaped. It wasn't pretty, but considering our workforce consisted of ogres with the architectural finesse of a potato, I'd call it a win, yay!(≧∇≦)/
Scarface wiped his brow, looking at the makeshift structures. "Still think just a cave is better."
I sighed, hands on my hips. "Trust me, you'll thank me when you're not waking up to someone's elbow in your face."
As the sun set, I stood in the clearing, looking over the soon-to-be ogre village. Sure, it was a mess. Sure, we had a long way to go. But hey, Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was the Great Ogre Housing Project.
"Well," I muttered to myself, grinning despite my exhaustion. "At least no one got flattened today. I'll call that a success."
---
System Prompt:
"New Village Project Initiated: Ogre Housing Upgrade. Progress: 10%. Objectives: Continue Construction, Gather Materials, Avoid Accidental Ogre Collisions."
"Progress!" I cheered, throwing my hands up. "Now, who wants to learn how to not drop logs on their boss?"
The ogres stared at me blankly.
"…This is going to be a long week."
( ´ -` )