We spent the last day in bed, lying bare and comfortably in each other's arms. Natalie spent most of it sleeping, I suppose because we went to see the dolphins, parasailing, scuba diving, and drove a golf cart around the island. I was just as exhausted, but unusually energetic at the same time. The only thing keeping me from waking her is knowing that we'll be together now. Until death do us part. I never understood why some of my married friends made it sound like a prison sentence, then again, I've only been married for ten days.
Maybe Natalie will start wearing heavy curlers in her hair, cold cream on her face, and a large purple moo-moo next week. I stare at her sweet peaceful face as I stroke her arms. She lets out a sigh that sounds like she's having trouble in her sleep. Almost like a dog asleep who is chasing squirrels in their dreams. She begins squinting on her face, so I gently wake her up.
"Hey," I say softly, "You alright?"
Natalie slowly opens her eyes and looks up at me; she stretches out her body, rubbing her breast into my chest, letting out a gentle moan.
"I was having... a really bad dream," Natalie finally answers, "I didn't make too much noise, did I?"
"No, no, no, I was just concerned, you seemed really troubled," I say as I stroke her face and reach in for a kiss, "Wanna tell me about it?" Natalie bites her bottom lip and nestles her face into my neck, softly kissing it. "You don't have to if you don't want to." Natalie pulls away and takes a deep breath.
"I guess it will be with me for the rest of my life," Natalie says as she pushes her hair back with her left hand, turns onto her back and takes another breath, "Even my own dreams aren't safe."
Bracing myself, realizing this may have something to do with something her mother did to her, I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her belly, making her giggle loudly. She runs her fingers through my hair, relaxing my nerves and preparing me for what she's about to tell me.
"I-I, well, you remember I had mentioned my mother making me get an abortion?" she asks. She mentioned it before we eloped to Vegas, but I didn't want to push further after she said she wasn't allowed to tell me who or why. I take a very deep breath and rub my face against the soft skin of her belly. "You're my husband now, and I was never going to keep anything from you but, I was sworn to secrecy. I did-"
"Natalie, it's okay, I understand why you kept certain things from me, I'm not mad or anything," I interrupt, and she sighs almost disappointedly.
"I didn't want to tell you before because I was afraid you would try to do something, but I was so used to my mother's ways of 'taking care' of things, I don't know why I thought you would do the same thing," Natalie roughly explains. I feel my eyes are wide at the shock of hearing her say this. I mean, I admit, I wish I had the kind of power the Blanche Family has to take care of some enemies, but I don't think I have it in me to be that terrible. "I guess I'm just used to her always 'protecting' me," Natalie continues, and waits for my reply.
"Okay," I say, "I want to know, and I promise you, I won't retaliate or say anything," I say and begin to form an invisible zipper across my lips, "My lips are sealed." Natalie lightly giggles at this and strokes my hair gently with her fingernails.
"It started about a year after my mother married Henry, and I felt in some ways freer. She was happy because she had luxuries again, and I was happy because it meant I no longer had to-" Natalie pauses and her expression looks sorrowful, so I lift her chin and kiss her lips softly. She smiles and continues, "Well, you already know that part."
"I started to look into buying kites and flying them that year, with the money my mother gave me, and I was happy," Natalie's small grin quickly falls, "I was so happy that I forgot I let my guard down, and I didn't even notice." I sense Natalie's despair, and lift her up into my arms, however, she does not cry. Instead, she lets out a small sigh of relief and kisses my chest. "Now that I have you in my life, I feel so much safer." I smile, warmly feeling the touch of her words. Remembering my promise not to say anything, I let her stay silent for as long as she needs to recuperate and allow her to continue.
"If I'd noticed and not basked in the little freedom I finally had, I might have prevented it from happening, but I didn't," Natalie finally explains. I see the sun shining through the curtains, I want to check the time so that we can see the sunset together, but I also don't want to let go of my Baby Doll, she's so vulnerable, and sad. I look over my shoulder to see the alarm clock; it reads 5:43 PM. We need to be on the ferry at 5:00 AM tomorrow. I want to make sure we get plenty of rest, as we've had quite the adventure.
"What's wrong?" Natalie asks after I look at the clock.
"Nothing, I was just checking the time," I answer.
"Jacque, are you bored with my story?" Natalie asks, a little annoyed.
"Hmm," I mumble, after realizing this is one of the rare times she calls me by my name instead of 'Mr. DeMille.'
"Ouch!" I shout after she pinches both my arms and stares at me seriously. "What'd you do that for?"
"You aren't listening, are you?" she asks, like a child who has been told they are going to the dentist instead of Disneyland.
"No, I'm listening," I answer, "I was just checking the time, because I want to see the sunset with you." This answer makes her smile again, and she rubs my arms apologetically.
"Sorry," Natalie says, and I hold her small hands in mine and kiss them.
"Don't be," I say as I continue to kiss her hand, "I'm still listening." Natalie reaches her hands up towards my face and pulls me in for a kiss. "You let your guard down, and you were happy, and then?"
"Henry was watching me, whenever my mother would go out shopping, or for an ultrasound, he would watch me from the balcony as I flew my kites, in the backyard of the mansion." I began to swallow hard at what she was about to say, and although I wanted to interrupt her, I kept my word and stayed silent.
"He- attacked me, while my mother was in the hospital, giving birth to my brother," Natalie tried to keep her tears from falling, and I just held her tight. "I got pregnant, I was only 19, but I felt sick thinking about going to a hospital. My mother found out after I threw up at a party held in my baby brother's honor. I couldn't live with myself after the abortion, and you know the rest; I tried to kill myself, I stayed in the hospital for a while, and eventually got better." Natalie began looking away from me as if ashamed. Now, I wish I could break my promise, find a hit man, and get this guy killed. Sick fuck. I slowly reach for her face, and pull it back towards me, looking deep into her hazelnut-colored eyes and I kiss her forehead.
"I know I can't really say anything to make it better," I start to explain, "But, men like Henry Blanche always get what's coming to them, I promise you, it won't be me who makes sure he pays for it, but I've always believed you can't go through life without paying for the things you do; good or bad." Natalie takes in what I've told her, and smiles. Her eyes are so shiny, and ready to burst with tears, she lunges into me and laughs heartily. A little shocked at this random action, I ask if she's okay.
"I'm great, I have you," Natalie replies through small sobs. I feel a wave of relief and hold her tightly to me. She drifts into sleep once again, so I gently get up and order her favorite foods; preparing the table, pulling the curtains open, and getting the scene ready for when she wakes up. My only hope: is that we can get through this together, and that her mother doesn't interfere with our happiness. I'm mostly worried Natalie will still want her mother around.
As I gaze at the sunset with Natalie in my arms, I unapologetically make a selfish wish that Natalie will always be by my side, through any trials and tribulations we may face together.