As I make my way to the steps of this old mansion, I begin to remember how much I despised this house. But I swallow my pride down, take a deep breath and ring the ostentatious doorbell. The new maid allows me inside; recognizing me from the photos displayed on the walls, she doesn't hesitate to let me inside. I quietly wait for my mother in the foyer, gazing at my reflection in the hallway mirror, I pause for a bit. I look so different than the last time I was here. I stopped fashioning the bangs my mother practically forced on me, and I began wearing more casual clothing. I can hear my mother's heels clacking on the marble floor. I turn to look at her; her eyes are puffy and pink, she has a lacey handkerchief in her left hand, and she is staring at me in complete awe.
"Natalie....," my mother finally says with a slight wheeze in her voice. "You came back."
"I'm just visiting, I'm not staying," I rudely interrupt. A habit I apparently haven't shaken off. I almost kicked myself for being so rude. "I'm sorry, I just-"
"It's quite alright, dear, I'm so happy to see you," my mother begins to walk towards me and embraces me. "You look so wonderful, just like Grams when she was younger." She quickly examines me and smiles. The maid is uncomfortably waiting behind my mother, unsure of what to do. My Mother finally gestures to her to go in the kitchen and fetch some tea.
"Come, let's go to the garden and have our tea there," Mother says as she loops her arm into mine, and we proceed to walk to the massively pretentious garden.
"I'm sorry about Henry, Mom," I begin to say after we sit on the terribly uncomfortable steel chair and table. The maid is pouring our tea and carefully placing them before us. She looks so young, and so exotic, yet very pretty.
"Thank you, dear, but I'm really more worried about the boys," Mother says as she takes a small sip of her tea. "They seem to have taken this much harder than I, but-" Mother begins to cry, and I don't know what to do. The maid quickly pats my mother on the shoulder and hands her a napkin. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess, this is the second time this has happened to me, I just feel like I'm destined to be alone."
I start to feel guilty, but I can't figure out why. I'm trying to figure out what more I can say or do, but my mind is blank. As Mother continues to cry, I remember Jacque, and how worried he probably is right now. He left for a photoshoot in Boston this morning, and I assured him I can take care of this.
"Mom, it's not your fault," I begin to coolly say, remembering how that bastard raped and impregnated me. I try to keep calm, and not get angry. My mother is too vulnerable for another argument. "Where are Charlie and Henry?" I ask trying to change the subject; more for my sake and not hers.
"They should be returning from school any minute now," Mother wipes her tears off and continues to fiddle with the napkin, "They've missed their big sister, won't they be surprised to see you."
I missed them, too. They're innocent in all this.
"Mom, I just wanted to make sure you're alright, but I promised Jacque I'd-"
"Jacque? You're still married?" Mother's voice changes quickly, almost frightening me into believing we'll have another fight.
"Yes, of course we are, Mother," I say as coolly as I can.
"Oh, of course, dear, I'm sorry," Mother begins to dab her eyes once more before setting the napkin down on the table. "Tell me, have I any Grandchildren?" I feel my eyebrows raise at the question.
"No, not yet, but we've discussed it," I begin to explain to her, and she looks very interested. I lightly chuckle at this and start reminiscing about Jacque. We did indeed discuss having children, but I told him I really want to enjoy us first before bringing another life into the picture. I smile after remembering his cute blushing face when we talked about it.
"Does he not want children?" my mother asks this in such a condescending manner, I almost want to get up and leave.
"Um, no, he does, it's actually him that always brings it up, I just really don't feel ready," I respond as calmly as possible.
"Well, there's no need to rush, I suppose, you're both still young," Mother is being so polite, I almost feel suspicious, like she's hiding something. "Natalie, I just want to apologize for our last meeting, I was so horrible to you." Ah, there it is.
"Ah, well, it's alright, I was pretty awful, too, you know, threatening to have you thrown in jail," I say feeling a little embarrassed, "I just want to put that behind us, family should be together in times of crisis." With that, my mother smiles and her eyes begin welling up again.
"Of course," Mother starts, "I hope we can all be a family again." I smile back and take a sip of my tea. I forgot how good tea is when you're rich. "You know, perhaps you and Jacque can come over someday and we can have a barbeque? Maybe even a soirée with all my friends and the boys-"
"Actually, Mom, that sounds great but, you know, it's going to take some time for Jacque to feel comfortable around you again," I abruptly say, and Mother's smile dissipates," I mean, it's great that you're finally accepting Jacque, but-"
"I-I understand, dear, there's no need to explain further," Mother quickly says, almost stuttering. I sigh, and subconsciously roll my eyes as my mother begins to cry again.
"Mom, I'm sorry, but with everything that's happened, this can't honestly be a surprise to you," I say as gently as I can. Mother is wiping her tears off before they can fall down her cheeks, and she slowly takes a deep breath.
"Of course, dear, I know, there's no need to tell me," Mother gets up from her chair and looks out to the massive field of grass. I look over my phone to check the time and realize I need to catch my flight back home soon.
"Look, Mom, I'll give you my number and you can call me, but I really only came by to check in on you," I say as I get ready to get up from the chair. She is silent and giving me the cold shoulder, but I don't have time for an argument.
"Give Elena, the maid, your number on your way out, I'll tell the boys you stopped by," Mother has a way of pushing my buttons, but it won't work this time. There was a lot I wanted to tell her, but I promised Jacque I'd be home in time for dinner.
"Goodbye, Mother, I'll stay in touch," I finally responded after a short pause. I make my way back in the house, giving the maid my cell number on my way out the door, leaving my mother to blankly stare at the field.
I hail a taxi back to my apartment, and find the lights are off. It's almost eight in the evening, but Jacque still hasn't returned. After I unlock the door, I begin taking off my coat and switching on the light. I suddenly hear shuffling in our bedroom in the back. I take off my shoes and call out Jacque's name, but there's no answer. I begin to hear giggling, like a young woman's. I quickly dash to the backroom and switch on the lights, heart beating fast and afraid that I might find my love with another woman.
"Oh, hey Natalie! 'Sup!" Jacque's doddering dumb brother, Laurence, in our bed with some girl, gives me a quick sigh of relief.
"Oh, it's just you," I say holding my hand to my chest.
"Who dis? You married?" the girl asks with a clear Brooklyn accent. Laurence quickly shakes his head, and mouths: "Sister-in-law."
"Damn it, Laurence, you nearly gave me a heart attack! What the hell are you doing here?!" I ask as I make my way into the bedroom, picking up a pillow and smacking him.
"Hey, relax, relax already!" Laurence defends himself, raising his arms to block my bashing him. "Jacque asked me to keep an eye on the place until you get back, that's all!" It's so unlike Jacque to do things like this without telling me first, even when he knows I can't stand his brother.
"I don't believe you," I say inquisitively, and ready to throw another blow with my pillow.
"Alright, alright, I can't lie to my favorite Sister-in-law," I roll my eyes and take a deep breath after he says this, preparing to hear the truth, "Jacky wanted me to get some negatives he left behind emailed to him, and I just thought, since I'm here already, I'd-"
"Bring a floozy into our bed?" I reply. Laurence shrugs and the girl gets up, offended, grabs her few bits of clothing, and leaves. I sit atop my bed and unpin my hair, taking a long deep breath.
"I'll be outta your hair, just let me find my pants," Laurence says this making me groan in disgust. I get up from the bed and back out to the living room. I look out the window to see Jacque getting out of a cab. My heart fills with so much warmth and joy, I almost forget about my visit with my mother. Realization hits me like a ton of bricks. How am I going to tell Jacque that my mother now has my cell number?